Right or wrong decision???

Veronique - posted on 04/25/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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So i've had 2 little girls Ella who will be 3 years old in June and Emma-Rose that will be 18 months on april 29th. Since i live in Quebec Canada i got to have 1 year off for both girls, which means that with my first i was off a year then went back to work 9 months and again off for a year for my second. Now i didn't go back because i wanted to but because i had to. Lately i'm feeling more and more sure that my place would be at home with my daughters. Not because i'm a lazy person and would prefer to stay home then work but i'm looking at all the rush routine that we have to do during the whole day to make this family unit function. So i get up at 6am get dress and ready wake the girls up at 6:20 get then dress and feed them breakfast daddy takes over from there cause i have to be at work for 7:30am so must leave by the 6:30am. Rush to work to my job, which i've been noticing lately that i'm not at all concentrating on my work so therefor losts of mistakes. Leave at 4:30pm to go get to the daycare by 5:30 ( which i usally get there aroud 5pm so i'm ok on that. Go home feed the girls,given them there baths and let them play till 8pm ( dodo time ) my husband gets home at whatever hours cause it's his business and is customer need him well he's there to help. So somethimes he actually finish before me then at that point he goes and picks up the girls. I guess what i saying is that if i wasn't working i could be home with my girls instead of having them in daycare a minimum of 50 hours a week and they could sleep in instead of rushing off, when my husband gets home it's not a messy house if i was home and dinner would be ready instead of him having to make it. I've spoken to him about me being a stay at home mom and he would love nothing more then that but right now since it's a new business that he started he wants to make sure all is good first. I guess i'm just feeling really depress right now and just needed to let it out before it ears me up inside. I want to be home with my kids, not working 40 hours a week :( I want to see my kids grow up, even if the get a little braty i still would prefer hearing them screaming then having to deal with the big babies i work with.........Anyone else feel this way???

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Koree - posted on 04/25/2011

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I feel the same way. I wish that i could be home with my two little ones, but my husbend just started his own business so at the moment i am not able to. I know its hard to be a stay at home mom, just as its hard to be a working mom but in ways it would be less stressful to stay at home. Just hang in there and hopefuly things will work out so that you can be home more.

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Nana - posted on 04/28/2011

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This is the issue that all mothers face. Working as a mom is definitely busier than any workforce job. And to do both is sometime impossible! This whole idea of a nuclear family taking care of children and office working is a new concept in human civilization. Previously, humans had whole villages taking care of everybody. The one mom who does it all is a crazy concept. There are moms who work outside the home and make it work with nannies and daycare, but the yearning to be with your own children is very common. You are definitely not alone!

Dora - posted on 04/28/2011

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I know exactly how you feel. I too feel rushed day in and day out. They way I try to look at things in a postivie way is that by having my son go to daycare his social skills are excellent, the things he has learned is amazing and he is in a structured class that helps with his weekend routine at home. Staying home in my eyes would be less stressful because I would be enjoying my son every minute of the day. People think I am strange when I say that cause they all bring up the fact about having adult time. Adult time for me can wait. I chose to have my child for a reason not so I can have adult time. I chose to have him because I wanted to have a child to love, adore, enjoy, teach, etc.... Before I know it he will be in kindergarten and then there is plenty of time for adult interaction. Working full time then doing everything else that I would be doing as a stay at home mom is tough and stressful.

Jillian - posted on 04/28/2011

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I feel the same way, ladies. My daughter is 17 months and I want to be home with her now more than ever. I had to go back to work when she was 5 months old and it broke my heart. The hours my husband and I work are completely opposite of each others and the time we have together as a family is very limited. I start my day at 3:30 am and I get out of work at 2pm. Mornings are very rough and I really miss being able to get my baby girl ready for day care in the morning. The only thing that makes this worth it is when I pick her up from day care and that little face comes running toward the door saying "MAMA! HIIII!"

Allison - posted on 04/26/2011

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I understand how u feel. I went back to work and worked 3-11 and missing bedtime everyday. I took a position 3 day per week 10 hr per day. I still do 30 hrs, but I actually have more time with her and I am less stressed and rushed. When I work she gets quality time with Daddy or with her grandparents. It has worked out great for everyone. As much as I love my daughter, we can't afford for me not to work, and I enjoy my job and getting out for what I call some 'adult time'! You can always consider part-time work and still be home more with your children. Sometimes it is good to keep your foot in the door, you never know when you may need to work, or when they grow up enough, you may want to.

Tiffany - posted on 04/26/2011

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It's not lazy to want to stay home with your children.. Being a stay at home Mom is a job too we just dont get paid for it. We have three children my husband works outside of the home and I have a few online ventures that keeps the ends together. If I were working outside the home I would only be working to pay someone else to look after my kids dosent make much since to me. I had kids because I want to be able to watch them grow up. I know your time is limited but if at all possible look into the business your husband is building for your family and see if there is anything you can do to help get that business to the next level, there is so much power in partnership. In my opinion we have to come up with a way to bring and keep our family close together.

Nicole - posted on 04/25/2011

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When I had my daughter, that was the plan..for me to stay home but then my husband lost his job and I went back to work. My husband started a new job which is his own business sort of speak and they say in 3 years, things should be good enough to do whatever. I thought I wanted to stay home with my daughter but being home with her for the first 4 months, I missed grown up talk. We live in the country and and the few neighbors we have, all have grown children. I am lucky enough that I found a new job working for a CPA firm that I work full time 2 1/2 months a year and part-time the rest. This gives me the balance I like. I get a few extra days a week with my daughter to watch her grow up but I also get grow-up time too and sad to say relax time when I'm working. If you think being a stay home mom will make you happy, be patient and go for it when things are good. I wish you luck in your journey with your family.

Veronique - posted on 04/25/2011

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It seems that we are both in the kind of same situation. My husband also started his business and it's going very well but he wants to make sure all is well before we take that big jump of losing a salary. I know that he's working for hard our family and i love him so much for all he does, that's another reason why i would like to repay him in the sense that when he comes on i don't want him to have to do baths or dinner, i want him to be able to come home and relax. I know it will happen but when i have really bad days at work i wish it was closer then it is :)

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