Vicky - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )
We had a healthy sex life before our son was born. In fact, we had a healthy sex life up until I went back to work - now being the sole provider (purely a financially decision, my salary being significantly more than my husband's).
Now I have no urge to have sex. None. I enjoy it if I 'force' myself to have sex, but mostly it seems to be yet another chore where I have to put other people's needs in front of my own and 'do my duty'. Usually I just want to crawl into bed at the end of my day and sleep. I am always tired.
Husband is crawling the walls, and his demands for sex are getting hard to take - they're getting IMHO more 'risky' and inappropriate. For example, today we were doing canteen duty at school and after we'd shut the canteen shutters he said "we're all alone, we can do it here!" and he was serious, and got pissy when I said no.
He grabs at my breasts whenever and wherever and sulks if I tell him to keep his hands to himself. Its not the groping so much I object to, its that IMHO there's an appropriate place to do such things (the bedroom) and there's inappropriate places like the supermarket or in front of our son (who not surprisingly, has started grabbing at my breasts too).
This inappropriate behavior really turns me off.
He's now threatening to either a) walk out and/or b) get himself a woman who can and I quote "do all the things I want to do without being such a prude".
I think he's just being a selfish git and should grow up, and learn that a) grabbing and pawing at me just pisses me off (and is therefore a turn off) and that b) I am not a prude, I just think sex and physical intimacy are a private thing and should be kept that way.
With the threat I simply said he could could go get a cheap f*ck if he wanted to, but I wouldn't pay for it out of the money I earnt, and I wasn't going to catch any diseases he would bring home, and if he wanted to leave, he would break his son's heart.
He's now in a foul mood in his shed, refusing to talk to either me or (more sadly) our 5 year old boy who doesn't understand why Daddy won't come play with him.
I know the sulking and the rejection of our son is just another way for him to get this own way (ie, sex) and I"m not going to cheapen myself and have sex just so he will talk to me and our son again, but sheesh. Be mad with me if you have to, but don't take it out on our boy!
Am I being unreasonable?
What the heck am I supposed to do about this?