Should I trust my sitter?

Tiya - posted on 11/06/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My son is 3mths and he started a childminder 1 week b4 I start back to work. I would send him early in the morning and pick him up half days until yesterday , which was his first full day and he came home with a fairly big scratch on his leg. He is not at that stage yet were is holds or plays with his feet, plus I cut his nails on his hands the night before. The sitter said she doesn't know how he got it. He has soft wrist rattles on and when she turned around they were off and he had the scratch, she doesn't have any nails or jewellry on to scratch him. Basically she has no idea how it happened. I took him back this morning (day after) and she gives me the name of a lady who she says she sometimes gets assistance from with looking after the kids. Firstly, the law only allows 3 kids or babies per caregiver so why does she need "assistance".

Plus he looks like he has swollen eyelids when he comes home from possibly crying all day and he doesn't normally cry that often because he really is a humble baby compared to my first child and literally only cries when he wants something food, nappy change and he is not a colicky baby at all. So what is it?

I get this feeling she leaves him for long periods and doesn't give him the attention he needs considering he is the only baby as she has 2 older children to look after almost 2yrs old plus she says she keeps these kids away from my baby. so who can you trust when no one else is around as a witness?? Help!

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Ashling - posted on 11/09/2009

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honestly trust yout gut instinct and remove him straight away, im not saying that she is doing anything to him or letting the other children near him, but how did he get the scratch? you will worry yourself to death if you leave him here any longer, better to be safe than sorry, these days you can't trust anyone with your children! no matter how nice they seem.

Amanda - posted on 11/06/2009

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I didnt trust anyone with my son til he was old enough to talk.Have u tried working at home? Also u wouldnt have to miss his milestones!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a single mom, I was so tired of living paycheck to paycheck and off the gov't.I joined a team of moms who get work from home and earn an awesome income with no selling,Im so excited!!!!!!!!! I love the store. We are always looking for new moms as partners. If you are interested leave your info at my website.Have a wonderful weekend! Amanda http://www.workathomeunited.com/greenage...

Mel - posted on 11/06/2009

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i think yoy have already made up your mind that you can not trust this person with your baby. and trust is the most important thing... i think its time to look for a new sitter

the person might not be doing anything wrong at all but if you dont trust her now what wil you be like when your child is todlling about and comes home with a big bruise after it has fallen down....

i would do a surprise visit as often as yu like at least a good hour or two before you are due to pick up baby or after you have fropped baby off as this will make the sitter more comfortable and in her general routine

Jackie - posted on 11/06/2009

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This is a hard one to answer! I worked in daycare centers in the baby room. what I can tell you is, you are aloud to make a surprise stop and if you find something that you do not agree with you can let DHS know and they will do some investigating. Other than that there really is much else you can do. With home care there is never enough eyes to catch what is happening. aside from putting a very small camera on your child, its very hard. I know this is not a lot of help, and I am sorry. But I would make my surprise visit as often as I can.

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Michelle - posted on 11/24/2009

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Trust your instincts. If you think something may be off, take your baby somewhere else. You MUST have complete/total confidence and faith in the person that is caring for your little one.
Good luck to you

Cristina - posted on 11/23/2009

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i would say find someone else to care for ur baby,this woman/girl doesnt sound fit to me. ive seen alot of stories on line and the thought isnt pleasant. good luck to you.

User - posted on 11/23/2009

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Does she do observations,a journey book with pictures of your happy smiling baby to put you at ease at playgroups and within her home?..a daily diary?
Do the other children in her care look happy and comfortable at pick up time?..These are the questions that you need answered to feel at ease,..first time going into childcare i also understand fully the lack of questions and direction that you have when looking for a comfortable setting.I am a childminder and i firmly believe when you meet a person that is right for you and your baby you are certain instinctively.I felt that with the parents of the children i took on and they felt that with me.
However sometimes you can just get confused with all thats on offer from one person to the next,so that daily paperwork is the key to your communication with your new babies carer,ask her to update you with mobile pictures,observations of your baby settling in and you will see what you need to more clearly and it will become more obvious to you as you know your child better than anyone.sit down at the end of the day and discuss how he behaved and what he did,she should want to do this with you,its an important part of the job.
There are also many reactions that a child may have when they are settling in to a new setting,and you should have strong communication with the person who is caring for him,so you are able to understand what is normal!
One to one attention is very important when doing the settling in process, There is definately something not working for you if you have so many worries, i also had a similar experience when my son was young and he was with a childminder before i worked from home,i was correct to take him out, it wasnt that she was awful, just that i gave him all my attention and she had two older boys of her own so i knew for a fact he was in the background.He was not happy to go and and came back a little deflated,..i took him out!
When my boy was older nursery was fantastic he is a very independent but loving child,my point is i knew what and when he needed certain care, he was too young and not a child who would have thrived in that particular childminders setting,although i am sure others would!

You know your boy, never doubt your feelings and opinions,they will take you through the right decisions trust them and you will see as you both grow together that you were right too!

Comfort - posted on 11/22/2009

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You can visit your childminder without telling her you are coming from work-maybe during your lunch period. With that you will know what is going on with her. something similar happened to me, my son has diarreaih and she can't tell me how it happens, i tool three days of work. Later I decided to visit her unnounced so I will know how she is treating him.

Tiya - posted on 11/22/2009

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Thanks Karen I have actually pulled him out now it has been almost 3 weeks since he was last at that horrible sitters. Unbelievable she was the first day I was back to work i typed up his 2 week notice and he never went back. she was miserable when I showed up his last day to collect him. Believe it or not she is registered with the government and the more I talk to people and other sitters in the area, when I mentioned her name they knew exactly why I was concerned. she needs to stop watching babies all together.



it is def a profession you have to have a love for if not don't bother!!



Thanks xo



 



Quoting Karen:

If you are uncomfortable then pull your baby out. I had such a hard time trusting any one to watch mine but finally I got them to a great place. The first day care my first baby stayed in for less than a week. I could tell they just left her in the car seat most the day, etc. The second caregiver would let the cat get into the crib and have all the kids ready to leave sitting on the couch when I came to pick her up (like she couldn't get rid of them fast enough). The third one watch my baby for nine months and finally after that I got my daughter into a great day care. The benefit of day cares versus the childcaregiver is that you have other people working there too. It is a check and balance of the care given. My kids have been going to the same place now for over 9 years. Good luck! It is a tough decision!

PS your state should have a website that lists the certified daycare and home daycares, with ratings and reports. check it out and see what you can find!

Also if you have suspicions and can't pull your baby out right away then get one of those teddy bears with the camera and send it with your baby....





 

Victoria - posted on 11/09/2009

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Go on your feeling as u would know, if it doesnt feel right there is something wrong the swollen eyes is from crying for a long periods of time the scratch well I would not be taking your baby back seems like she is not good at what she does a good babysitter knows what goes on always so please get another one that is credited

Lori - posted on 11/09/2009

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As most everyone here is saying, trust your instincts! They will never fail you. I had the worst time with my son and sitters. One even disappeared with him for a couple of hours at the time when I was supposed to be picking him up! I was hysterical!



There's no easy answer for working mos. There is tremendous guilt for working mothers when we have to leave our babies with sitters. I've been there having been in banking when my oldest was born. Not knowing what it is you do for a living, it's hard to suggest working from home, but that's the answer I found. I had to switch career fields all together and go back to school, but it was worth it. I am a medical transcriptionist and I purposely picked that career field because when I did my research back in the early 90s, I could seen that the trend was to work from home for transcriptionists.



All I can offer you is a heartfelt good luck and trust your instincts.

Kris - posted on 11/09/2009

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I agree with everyone, my gut feeling was always right. My boys were in daycare until school aged. Everytime I got a feeling something wasn't right, it was time to find new daycare. Sometimes its just a provider is more intuned with a certain age of child and if yours is older or younger than that age the day doesn't go as smooth as it should. everytime I looked I always found a better provider next.

Paula - posted on 11/08/2009

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always go with your instints hun if it dont feel right it probably isnt dont take chances on your child its not worth it look elsewhere

Paula - posted on 11/08/2009

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never ever put full trust in anyone always be a step ahead hun always check and check again

Michelle - posted on 11/07/2009

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If you cant trust or dont trust your sitter; then she shouldnt be your sitter...things happen, but you should trust your mommie senses.

Copa - posted on 11/07/2009

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sweetheart i would go with my first mind and i'd be taking my baby elas were she dosen't seem right but you can also call dhs and find out if she's ever had any issues and if she haves any empolyees they will let you know that.there number is 515-725-2600 good luck.

Grace Geonzon - posted on 11/07/2009

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With your current situation, I think it's about time for you to look for a new babysitter before anything serious could happen to your son. God forbids! However, for the meantime, I agree with the other moms that you should pay a surprise visit while you're still loooking on for a new one.

Aparna - posted on 11/07/2009

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I think that if you lost trust in the person it is better you start looking out for another caregiver. But it may also be the case that your child is taking time to settle and is still facing separation anxiety. He may be crying because of that. Try to make surprise visits so that you catch your caregiver unawares. This will give you an opportunity to find the truth. and yes, always trust your motherly instincts. Believe me, as a mother you can never be wrong.

Aparna

workingindianmoms.blogspot.com (find more tips here)

Samantha - posted on 11/06/2009

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well u can never trust anyone, the closes people u can trust is family but u always have that question on the back of ur mind that, is she safe? wats going to happen? but u have to sometimes take that risk, but dont just leave them with anyone...me i have to know the person and trust them 100% before i leave my baby girl

Karen - posted on 11/06/2009

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If you are uncomfortable then pull your baby out. I had such a hard time trusting any one to watch mine but finally I got them to a great place. The first day care my first baby stayed in for less than a week. I could tell they just left her in the car seat most the day, etc. The second caregiver would let the cat get into the crib and have all the kids ready to leave sitting on the couch when I came to pick her up (like she couldn't get rid of them fast enough). The third one watch my baby for nine months and finally after that I got my daughter into a great day care. The benefit of day cares versus the childcaregiver is that you have other people working there too. It is a check and balance of the care given. My kids have been going to the same place now for over 9 years. Good luck! It is a tough decision!

PS your state should have a website that lists the certified daycare and home daycares, with ratings and reports. check it out and see what you can find!

Also if you have suspicions and can't pull your baby out right away then get one of those teddy bears with the camera and send it with your baby....

September - posted on 11/06/2009

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It makes me feel sad for you to know that your little one may be crying a day long. Poor little sweetie! In my opinion I would say trust your instincts. It sounds like you have some trust issuse with this person so maybe you should re-think where you are letting him staying during the day. Good luck and best wishes!

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My advice to you. Always trust your mom instincts! If you don't feel that she is taking proper care of your son, find another caregiver.

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