Stay at home mom to working mom

Amanda - posted on 01/21/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 7 month old son that I have never been away from a day in his life. But now I am starting my new job on Monday and when ever I leave the room he screams. Left him today for the job interview and he screamed the whole time I was gone (about 3 hours). How can I make him get over his I have to have mommy mind set to make it easier on my grandmother who will be watching him until his father gets home from army stuff??

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Tracey - posted on 01/22/2010

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Just an FYI (but obviously do what works best for YOU), the so-called "experts" say you should never sneak away while your baby isn't looking. It can add to their fear and anxiety. I looked this up when I had my 1st and everything I read said to hug/kiss them good-bye, tell them good-bye and leave abruptly. The longer you stay and hold them, the worse it will be. Once they figure out that you always come back and they can trust you (i.e. not sneaking out) - things will get better, it just may take a little time for him to get used to it.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents but I firmly believe you should always do what works best for you and your child, regarless of others advice. Best of luck!

Amanda - posted on 01/22/2010

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I had the same idea about giving him something to play with and then slipping out because I have done it before. He just has to have something to do all the time and he crys alot really to just get someone to pay attention to him. He will only be with my grandmother for a week then he will be with his father so he just has to make it a week.

Rosary - posted on 01/22/2010

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trust me your both going to have to get used to it its a big change your gonna be paranoid and guilty at first and because your son is used to having you all the time hes not going to understand and cry for mommy but the more it becomes a normal thing the more the both of you will become comfortable and theyre wont be screaming and chaos as soon as you leave the room

Latrese - posted on 01/21/2010

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It's hard at first but it will get easier, he will get use to it. Plus your son is right at the stage where separation anxiety really picks up, I think after the first week, he will still cry but it will get easier for him and your caregiver.

Teresa - posted on 01/21/2010

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My daughter used to cry like that. I think it starts out crying for mommy, then they give themselves a headache and cry because of that. You can try leaving something with your baby that smells like you, like a blanket or sweater. Or, get him a really distracting toy that might take his mind off of you while you slip out the door. The best thing you can do is make it quick and slick so he doesn't see you go. Or leave while he's napping.

Amanda - posted on 01/21/2010

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I don't feel bad at all about leaving him because I know at the end of the day I will always be there for him and I am doing this for him. I'm sure that he didnt cry for 3 hours straight either but when I returned home she did seem ready to pull her hair out so it was really rough on her with my 7 month old and then my cousin that is 2 1/2 years old both crying and beggin for her to pick them up and pay attention to them. But my son does scream when I just walk out of a room for just the shortest second to do something. I'm just trying to find ways to make the switch to me not always being with him a easier one...

Tracey - posted on 01/21/2010

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1st of all, don't feel bad about wanting or needing time away from your child. It's perfectly normal and healthy for both of you. I had a very hard time leaving my baby when I went back to work, I cried and cried on the drive to work. It does get easier, sooner than you may think. I must be honest, I have a hard time believing your son cried for 3 hours straight - is the caregiver exaggerating? I would expect him to cry but 3 hours seems excessive. Either way, your baby will be fine and he will get used to being away from you and knowing that you will always return. Don't worry, guilt is normal and we all feel it but you are a good mom and you have nothing to be guilty about!

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