Lindsey - posted on 04/01/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
This is my first post, I just joined today because I am so frustrated. My stepson lives us 100% of the time and his bio-mom is not in his life. I took him on a bike ride today to the park because I was wanting to get closer to him, we struggle with our relationship like anyone in my position. I am a stay at home mother, so I raise him along with our two year old daughter. He kept complaining about not being able to mount his bike very well, so I took him aside at the park and taught him how. He fought me tooth and nail, and he threw a tantrum in the middle of the park and started balling his eyes out because he thought it was 'too hard' and 'he didn't want to'. So I told him that I wasn't leaving the park until he got on it twice by himself [he is 9 btw] and he cried and made a big scene overdramatisizing everything. Then he wouldn't bike back to our house [.5 miles away?] because he said he was too tired. There were some people around, and when he saw them getting close, he pretended to trip and made another scene. So I walked home pulling my 2 yr old on an attachable bike trailer with him crying and creating mayhem. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I get home and tell my husband what went on, and his solution was to talk to him and have him clean his room. [Which is one of his Saturday chores, and it took him all of 5 minutes. He told me yesterday that he had done it, but he lied to me because my husband said that when he went downstairs it was a mess] So I went to the store while he was cleaning his room, and I come back, and my husband is sitting there on the couch with him watching TV, which I think shouldn't be allowed after his fiasco this morning. I talk to my husband and say "You really think that he , should be watching TV after what happened this morning?" , so he says "Ok [son], I guess we have to turn it off" like I was the big bad wolf. Now they are on the couch watching TV on the computer, meanwhile my husband is looking at me like he is pissed off at me, when it had nothing to do with me to begin with. He said "Oh, I will have [son] try harder and make him work harder on his daily tasks" which is ridiculous because my husband never follows through with anything. The sad part is, at least to me, is that he is like Hitler with our two year old daughter, and any bad behavior is unacceptable, but with stepson, apparently acting like a two year old melting down in the middle of a park because someone is trying to teach you something because no one else in your family cares enough to do so is ok. I am so frustrated. I feel like our son is purposely trying to ruin our marriage through his negative and constant lying, bad behavior, and he only does this on days when his father is home from work, when it is just me and the kids, I have no problems and we get along great.
Thank you for the feedback. It helped me to be able to step back a bit and look at the situation as a whole instead of how I was viewing it 'in the moment'