Struggling with the need to keep working

Dana - posted on 07/08/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a first time mom to a 7 week old boy. I am also a school social and HAVE to retun to work in October when my leave concludes. I don't want to return to work, but have no choice due to our finances and the economy- we've tried selling our house to down size but we're under water and if I quit, we will lose our home to foreclosure and then be unable to provide for our son. I am so depressed about this situation and find myself envying every stay at home mom. Since I don't have a choice, I am trying to stay positive, but I'm really struggling. I feel like everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by moms who are able to just quit and stay with their little one. I feel so guilty having to leave him in the hands of daycare while I return to work full time. I also plan to breast feed for at least a year and don't know how I'll ever manage my job and mommy responsibilities and do a good job at both. So stressed and depressed about this!

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Dawn - posted on 07/22/2012

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Weigh the cost of daycare taken from your sallary. You may be able to take a part time position at say a daycare center and make the same money. I am a full time RN so I feel your pain, it is awful having to leave them.

Kagisho - posted on 07/21/2012

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It's important to be there for your kids as much as you can but if staying at home means their gonna starve then you're don't really have a choice. They won't remember who changed their diaper but if you're foreclosed then they'll be poor and definately wont be happy about that. If you have a skill like knitting, sewing, writing, maybe you could find a part time job and do the writing or knitting to add to it. At least that way you wont leave the little one all day and you an still earn a living. If you have to leave them tell yourself it's for the best and the baby needs this. when you get home be with him/her as much as you can and on your weekends. Always remember that 'being there for them' also means being able to pay the bills and put food on the table.

Amy - posted on 07/08/2012

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I remember that feeling when I returned to work with my first one. It was the hardest thing ever and I cried the entire day before I went back. Once at work I was fine because I had a very demanding job so I didn't have time to think about all that I was missing out on. I learned a lot with my first so when I returned to work after my second it was a little easier. Here's what I realized/discovered:

That when my kids do the "first"something it's still a first for me when I see it for the first time.

With my first I didn't buy a pump because we didn't have the money. I was only able to breastfeed for 4 months before my son refused probably because I was home so little. Formula was way more expensive and for my daughter I invested in a great pump and was able to breasfeed for a year and beyond. I also made sure to take the time at work to pump no matter how crazy everything was.

I know how hard it is to see moms being able to stay home with there kids. I wonder why I can't have that very same luxury, but like you we rely on my income especially now that my husband lost his job. I try to make the best of time I do have with the kids, an try to do fun stuff when I'm off. I wish you the best of luck!

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