temper tantrums

Venessa - posted on 06/28/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 2 1/2 year old son throws the worst tantrums. He is smart, and throws them in public, at parties, everywhere. Often where we are in public I am lost with a postive approach. I have tried talking to him, scolding, sending him to his room, corner time, and teaching him to take deep breaths untill the frustration passes. Nothing seems to work. He takes deeps breaths to stop the screams, but when he asks and it again denied what he wants I am stuck with yet another tantrum. His Dr. said to completly ignore him, but it dopesn't help he follows me screaming, and it literally increases. I thought to myself: how long could a child really scream? But let me tell you alot longer then we think. I need help before I rip out all my hair.

Venessa

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Melanie - posted on 06/30/2010

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I've heard that The Happiest Toddler on the Block is a great resource. My daughter is only 13 months, but I've read it and have ordered the DVD by the same title on Amazon for my husband and me to watch. They are both by Dr. Harvey Karp--he worked wonders for our fussy baby girl when she was a newborn, so I trust that he probably has some sound advice for toddlers, too!

Melanie - posted on 06/30/2010

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My daughter used to do the same thing. The daycare people suggested that I set up the same tantrum management program as them at home. Essentially it's a time out area that is in full view and safe that has an emotion thermometer taped to the wall. The thermometer is a circle that has three colors Green, Yellow and Red it also has the appropriate images of a calm child, moderately calm child and a tantrum in each color. It has an arrow on the middle that you can rotate to point in any area. When the child is place in the time out you place the thermometer in the red area and explaining which emotion they are feeling. (ex. You are in the red zone because you are angry or frustrated because...) As soon as the child calms a little bit you return and congratulate them stating that they are in the yellow zone (once again explaining the emotion that they are feeling). As soon as they are close to calm they can be put into the green zone and can leave the time out. I know it sounds like alot a work and trust me it is!!! But I learned that my daughter would throw tantrums because she couldn't manage her emotions, and by naming them and dealing with them she dealt with it better. The tantrum were fewer and lasted less time, I wouldn't say they disapeared but easier to deal with.

Charlena - posted on 06/30/2010

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you try being 2 1/2 and dont know about emotions going on in your body , its annoying to us because of all the crying and yelling but we all do it , I stopped getting frustrated with my daughter along time ago , shes only been on this earth 3 years , i cant expect her to know everything. Next time try finding out what he wants , and stop calling them tantrums and expecting ur kid to think like you why dont u try thinking like him , as hard and crazy as it may sound put yourself in his shoes .

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i think your doctor has a point... Your son is trying to get your attention and will escalate his behavior before giving up. Just tell him this will not bring him anything he wants and walk away. As long as he is in a safe place to throw the tantrum, let him. I know it can be hard and very very exhausting to deal ignore the tantrums but giving in will just reinforce the behavior..

good luck

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