Temper Temper

Shelley - posted on 04/19/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I adopted my 5 year old son when he was 2. Since he was abandoned by several people he is constantly testing teachers, friends, my friends, etc to see if they will still be there even when he acts out. Today, I had to pick him up early because he hit his teacher in the face. His consequences include no tv, no dessert, and only gets my attention when through conversation (no games). Anybody else going through this? He will start kindergarten in fall and he sees a psychologist every week who is wonderful and thinks he just needs consistant discipline.



Thanks!

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Marcie - posted on 04/20/2010

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Consistency, routine and predictability. These words should be your mantra when it comes to dealing with kids, especially children who are a little more high risk.

The negative behavior will slow down and eventually stop if he can reasonably predict what will happen in all situations where he is acting up.

Removal of privileges is a good idea when negative behavior is displayed. I also recommend accountability for situations where he has caused physical or emotional harm to others in the community. Have him make an apology card and write a note in it for the teacher he it.

If he has been abandoned several times, you can understand why he emotionally disconnects from everyone around him. The best way to deal with that is to be consistent and re-connect him emotionally with people around him (accountability). When he does misbehave, ask him what he could have done differently, get him to focus on how he was feeling when he acted out as opposed to "why" he did something.

I hope this helps. I spent 2 years working with high risk adolescent males in residential care ages 12-18.

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