What age is an appropriate curfew for a 13 year old boy?

EVA - posted on 03/06/2011 ( 30 moms have responded )

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My son is 13 year's old going on 21. What time would be an appropriate curfew for him?

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Nicola - posted on 07/26/2013

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Crikeys.. I feel like a mean mum as my 13 year old son is only allowed out during the day on a weekend if he has something planned.

Maybe I'm being overly cautious ?

Greg - posted on 07/31/2013

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This all varies. Whether you live in the country, city or suburbs. What part of town do you live on; is it a safe place. Summer or school hours, or weekend and weekday hours.

Life is a lot easier and relaxed in the country. Where there's lots of land and wildlife. If I had a house in the country with a lot of land, I would allow my 13 year old to stay out in the yard as late they wanted, but be home before dark. If I were in a suburban neighborhood, I would want my child home by their bed time which would be 10pm. If I were in the city, I would want my child to be home before the street lights come on or to be at a friend's house before then. And bed time would still be at 10.

There's nothing out in the world for a 13 year old to do after dark, besides the occasional sleepovers, after school dances, or parties. During school days, kids should always be home before dinner, no matter what. During the summer time, curfew should be more lax but not done away with all together. 10pm is the max curfew for a middle schooler. 11pm for a new high schooler, and 12pm when they're about to finish high school.

Some states and cities have curfew laws for children under 18. But it's ultimately up to the parent to make sure their child is home on time, or the time that you specify that they need to be home. If your child can't meet the initial set curfew, then keep making it earlier during the day until he just can't go out after school.

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2011

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In my opinion a 13yr old has no business running the neighborhood after dark.I have a 13yr old and 14yr old (both boys) they have to be in when the street lights come on, then they may return outdoors, but only in the yard where they can be seen, I feel that children should be supervised at ALL TIMES until age 16. There are too many creeps and weirdos running the streets in this day and age. Call me old fashion but those were my rules growing up and also my husbands and we both have alot of respect for our parents for doing.

Jennie - posted on 08/09/2013

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My son has a curfew of 8 on the weekends and he is also 13. Having said that- as a middle school teacher I hear MANY things that parents would never in a million years think their children would do. Experimenting with drugs and sex are very much included in at least 1/2 of their lives. I think more importantly than a curfew is to be present know who they are with, where they are, and what they are doing. If my son says he is going somewhere I will call the other parent, very occasionally pop up, & I often volunteer to chauffeur. We are also the go-to house. We have a lot of dialogue with our son about expectations and what is going on in his life. I don't know everything and can't helicopter but I am as aware as possible without embarrassing or squashing his independence. I know of a handful of 8th graders this year that terminated pregnancies with the help of an adult that was not their parent, students dabbling in drugs, and alcohol. These are all "good kids" and I work in a "good school". So please keep that at the forefront. Also kids get into more trouble between 3-5 than any other time. They are often home alone or left to their own devices during the after school period before their guardian get home from work. So just some FYI as the school year steadily approaches!

Amanda - posted on 08/06/2013

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Why does a 13 year old need a curfew to begin with? Its too young to be out running the town anyhow. Playing out in the yard or a time specific play date at a friends is plenty

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Enna - posted on 08/08/2013

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I only let my thirteen year old stay out until dark. There are obviously special occasions that stretch that. But I don't see any reason for an official curfew, she has to check in with us every hour, and I make sure I always know where she's going and with whom.

Susan - posted on 07/25/2013

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So after looking into this subject, I think I have finally learnt where to begin.
I decided to call the local police station to enquire on whether there was a state law that stipulates anything on the subject. It turns out that Florida does have laws (FS 21-203) which states more or less that children under the age of 18 have curfew from 11-6 pm from Sunday to Thursday and 12-6 Friday and Saturday.
With this in mind I have a sense of strength in what I expect of my 13 year old to do.
I had originally allowed him until 12:15 if he was accompanying girls to their home, well I now learned that he has to walk them home and be home by 12.
Now here is another question.... what about frequency? How often is it normal for a teenager to go out? This is his first summer out of summer camps.

Cheryl - posted on 09/19/2011

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I think living in the city is alot different than in the country! My13yr thinks that he should be able to stay out til 930, bed time is a 10pm. He is up for school at 7am. I think that he should be home before dark. I had to be in the yard at 8pm. Bed for 10. Cities is different. Depends on the maturity of the 13yrs old. Ten for the weekends. Before dark makes sense to me. Too much has changed in todays world. what do u think?

Marjorie - posted on 08/11/2011

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For the summer, everything has been fine. He tells me where he is going and has been home before 10 or on the nose, never late. He has three very good friends (I know all thier parents) and he is always at one of their houses, (not roaming around). We live in a suburb of Washington DC with sidewalks, well lit roads and all the friends are in a 3-4 block radius. School nights he is not allowed out after dinner, which is at 6:30pm.

Jurnee - posted on 08/10/2011

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I never really did a curfew at that age. It was more situation specific. I had to know where they were, doing what and with whom. At that age my on schooldays, soometimes a freind could come over, or they could go to a friends, if there was adult supervision. Weekends were usually movies, minigolf, skating, bowling, and I or another trusted adult would pick up and drop off.

Marjorie - posted on 05/07/2011

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I just found this website and am happy to have the insight of other Moms of teenage boys. My 13 year old is a good kid but lately he just wants to be with his friends (nice group of boys, all from nice families, smart, sports etc.) and stay out to play basketball in the cul-de-sac, ride their long boards and just be boys. I struggle with curfew on the weekends and think 10pm is late enough. If he is at a friend's house then I still think 10 is late enough to be disturbing other families. Weeknights he has to be home by 9pm but he usually doesnt go out on school nights.

Lezlie - posted on 03/18/2011

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Thinking at age 13, I like Ashley's answer...cerfew is 5pm! Not old enough to drive, so if he were going to a movie, bowling, etc., someone would most likely have to drive him. Hopefully, that would be a parent, and would be in responsible hands. If that driver is an older friend...that is too old of a friend for him at that age. 3-4yrs older at 21yo is much different than 3-4 yrs older at 13yo. At 13yo has homework, and in MY opinion, needs to be in bed way before 1030pm for school the next day! Weekends different, depending on homework...I know my kids had homework on the weekends!

Renae - posted on 03/18/2011

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Wow, 13 seems young for a curfew to me. Things have changed and I'm only 31! At 13 shouldn't he be asking permission when he wants to go somewhere, in which case the time he arrives home, or is collected by you, depends on the activity he is doing or where he is going? I cant imagine being 13 and just being allowed to be out anywhere doing anything until my curfew time. We had to come straight home from school and then ask if we wanted to go somewhere. I would have had to explain who, where, what, when and hope I got permission (which I usually didn't!). Maybe things have changed :)

Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2011

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When I was a kid we were allowed on the 4 ajoining streets after school until dinner time then dinner then if we were done chores and homework we were aloud out but my mom only let us play on our street after dinner.

We lived on a street of 50 houses so we weren't far from home. Even then it was only maybe an hour after dinner because we needed to wash up and calm down before bedtime.

Jennifer - posted on 03/17/2011

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When I was a kid we were allowed on the 4 ajoining streets after school until dinner time then dinner then if we were done chores and homework we were aloud out but my mom only let us play on the street after dinner but we lived on a street of 50 houses so we weren't far from home.

Janelle - posted on 03/17/2011

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I am not sure he needs a "curfew" at 13. In my opinion he doesn't drive and needs your permission to hang out over a friends house, movies etc. For my son, bedtime is 10pm during the week. On weekends he's normally busy with activities. I guess 10pm is reasonable. What type of constructive activity is a 13 year old really doing after 10pm?

Tiffany - posted on 03/17/2011

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Really?? 9:30 - 10?? even in a perfect neighbourhood where nothing happens and all the kids are perfect, that is way too late. at only 13 years old, you need to also have a look at what time you would expect them home when they are 16. It is my belief that if the child is underage, then (even when they are 17) they should not be out any later then 10pm on a weekday. look at that time and dial it back for each year because as you kid gets older he will want a later and later curfew, if you start at 10 now, how much later are you willing to go? Weekends are a whole different story, however remember that no matter what your child chooses to do good or bad, it is totally a reflection of you, whether you like it or not.

Tabitha - posted on 03/16/2011

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10pm just seems so late to me. My parents always had my curfew as "before dark". I know that is somewhat old fashion... but it kept me out of trouble! If you think about it, girls these days are getting pregnant at the age of 12... so you could only imagine what the boys are doing at age 13. I know this is a sad thing, however, the world is not as innocent as we used to think.

Jamie Lynn - posted on 03/16/2011

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I say 9pm during the weekdays and 10pm during the weekends! There are many tempations out there nowadays and it is very difficult to know what your child is up to when they are out and about! If he does well with the curfew you can reward him every now and then for special occassions but extending it an hour! But do not do this right away...I tried this with my niece who is in my custody and it worked really well. She is respectful of the rules because I acknowledge her good behavior! It was difficult at first because she had no rules prior to living with me but thankfully it worked out well.

Amber - posted on 03/15/2011

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My 15 yr old has a school night curfew of 5pm. This gives him a couple of hours of hanging out with mates after school if he wants. He has only twice stayed out after this, without letting me know he was going to be late, and got grounded as a result. His bedtime is 10.30pm, he rarely makes it to bed on time tho.



On weekends he often will stay at a mates place or they stay here. If he is hanging at home I like him to be home before dark, so no later than 7pm. His bedtime on a Fri/Sat night is up to him.



He has never complained about what time he has to be home, but he often grumbles about going to bed lol

Natosha - posted on 03/15/2011

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Well, I suppose it all depends on the child and you. If he is a very responsible young man, you may want to give him a curfew of about 930pm. Then it also depends on what the activity is. If he is going out with friends to the movies, 930pm is a good time. So there are factors that weigh into that decision. Base your curfew for him on the destination and the activity.

Beth - posted on 03/15/2011

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I believe that it really depends on who and where he is. If he is hanging with friends from your general area and that have a specific activity(manhunt or the like) that they are doing 10 pm on weeknights would be ok. Otherwise they are just hanging out and we all know that idle hands can get us into trouble. During the week I believe that 9 is a fair time but depends on the child and his set time to go to bed. We follow a strict bedtime which allows for less difficult getting up for school the next day.

Ashley - posted on 03/08/2011

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I think 730 on week days or 8 if he has to be home for dinner and 9 on weekends unless he's at a movie. It just seems during the week they have a lot more school work and such and shouldent be out to late. Also depends on were he is, how he is doing at school, and how his behaver is like, how safe is the area and is he more interested in build forts and playing video games or drinking, drugs and cigarettes. its a hard one without knowing your situation good luck

Marsha - posted on 03/07/2011

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Seriously...a curfew for a 13 year old. I work with middle school (and high schoolers too) and the things I hear of them doing after school!!! It would make you blush. Is he "running" around town? Or is he at a friend's house (with the friend coming to your house too?

Kimberly - posted on 03/07/2011

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It really depends...Certain factors come into play like how responsible ur son acts, the people he associates with, and has he ever given a reason for you not to trust what he was doing...I agree that on weekdays the curfew should be reasonable so there are no chaotic, miss the alarm for school kinda mornings...Weekends can be a little better as long as you have trust in what he's doing, etc. (Like goin to the movies n out to eat with friends)...11p.m. sounds like a fair wkend curfew time

Vicki - posted on 03/06/2011

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My son is 14 and during the school week his bedtime is 10:00, usually being sent up to get ready at 9:30 because he goofs around. If you live in a neighborhood, then 9:00 is reasonable to expect him home, if everything they need to get done is done. 10 - 10:30 on Friday and Saturday is also reasonable to expect him to be home.

Felicia - posted on 03/06/2011

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At 13, I believe there are to many temptations out there and I feel like as parents it is our job to protect our children from making bad decisions. In that regard, I feel like a 9 oclock curfew on the week days (as long as homework is done and chores, etc.) and 10:30 on weekends is a pretty good curfew. I just think that after 10:30 there is really nothing for kids to do and thats when they may have more temptation to do things that might not be in their best interest. Now, obviously, every teen is different and I also think that your instinct is was you should listen to. If you feel like they can handle more time or less then you should go with that. A mothers instinct is usually always right (:

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