What do I do now I need help

Chelsea - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I have done 10 home pregnancy teststhey have all came up a strong positive I am only 16 and I go to college, what should I do know do I need to go to a doctors or hospital, and how can I tell my mum and dad that I am pregnant as they don't even know I have had sex? Please help

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Melissa - posted on 04/24/2012

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Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear about your stress and about this unplanned surprise. I have no right to tell you what you should or should not do, but I can tell you that it is important to sit down with your parents at some point (sooner than later) and tell them the news. You may want to speak to your guidance counselor at school if you are fearful, and maybe she can call in your parents one day so the 4 of you can sit down and have this conversation. Than after that if you decide to keep your child, include a meeting with your parents AND his parents. It's best to discuss this openly with all parties involved, and because you are only 16, that would include your parents.

It only gets scarier the longer you hide your secret. I wish you the best of luck with everything!

[deleted account]

I agree with Melissa; you need to tell someone as soon as possible, and talk to all parties involved. Your parents will be upset, but they will still love you, and they will do everything they can to help you through the process, but they can't help if they don't know.
They may need a few days to be upset. Let them have time and they will come around, but try not to get angry back at them. Take responsibility for your actions and they will respect that.

You do not need to go to a hospital, go to your family doctor or a clinic if you cannot afford a doctor.

[deleted account]

Chelsea, if you have a local health department, please go to it as soon as possible. Your spotting may be due to stress, but a miscarriage, especially with a first pregnancy at your age, is always a possibility. If you've already had an ultrasound done, you may want to have another one, just in case. But the best piece of advice I can give you, as a young mom whose first baby was a big surprise as well, is to take everything in stride and try not to stress about it. Your parents will live through this, just like you will. Pregnancy happens, and it's a life-changing event, but that change doesn't have to be all bad. Good luck and keep us posted!

Gabrielle - posted on 04/26/2012

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Planned Parenthood can be a great resource, as they will help confirm the pregnancy, and then help you with whatever decisions you need to make. As it sounds like you will be keeping the pregnancy, they can help provide medical care for you throughout the pregnancy, including counseling, sonograms, etc. They will work with you, whether you have insurance or not. You will need to be honest and up front with your parents. They will be upset at first, but they still love you, and will be able to support you as you go through this. Planned Parenthood can also help you with birth control after you deliver, so your next child can be planned.

Fran - posted on 05/08/2012

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Oh Chelsea, I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage. And it is not easy at any age. I am an older Mom of 45. I have 2 beautiful children (girl 8 & boy 5). This last pregnancy was a sure surprise for all of us. I didn't think that the loss of a child (so early in the pregnancy) would effect me so much as it did. Please make sure you go and see someone. Find a Dr. to help you through this. Just know that you are not alone and it is NOT your fault. It's just God's way of saying that your body was just not ready. Be strong, and vent here if you need to. Lots of Hugs!

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19 Comments

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Traci - posted on 05/25/2012

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im always curious about the girls who always post these messages and you never see a pic... hmm

Ann - posted on 05/21/2012

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Hugs, Chelsea! Health and wellness to you and your family during this difficult time of healing and reflection!!

Debbie - posted on 05/06/2012

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Chelsea, I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I hate to say it though, this is actually a blessing in disguise.

PLEASE GET ON THE PILL and use a condom.
You can always have children when you get through with your schooling, but you can't UN- have a baby. You can't UN-CHOOSE to be responsible for another human being's well being for the rest of his/her life AFTER you bring them into this world.

Finish your schooling, get in your career and THEN have your babies and be the best Mommy you can possibly be!!!!

Good luck to you!

Eva - posted on 05/06/2012

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I'm not sure this is the right platform. You need to act NOW. Speak to your mother. You might be surprised how much support you get there, if you open up. Speak to the baby's father. It's time to stop pretending. I was a teen-mom and I ended up raising the baby myself - and then two more after that, though I was a bit older than you. It is possible to finish school AND have a baby. It's tough, but it works. Life is not over, when you're pregnant, but you will need to own it and take responsibility. Abortion is an option - although not something I'd recommend. It'll haunt you for life. You could also opt to give it up for adoption. There are many couples who can't have children! I think that would be actually a fabulous solution.

Debbie - posted on 05/04/2012

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This is a scary time. I have been in your shoes.



You might want to consider adoption as, 16 is a bit young to be in charge of another human being for the rest of both of your lives.



You ever seen MTV's 16 and pregnant? You are opting for life for your baby that will be a rough one and you will be relying on many friends and family members to help you with your kid's basic necessities (food, clothes, rent expenses, car expenses, school expenses for both YOU and Baby.



http://www.mtv.com/videos/16-and-pregnan...

Angie - posted on 05/02/2012

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What an emotional roller coaster you have been on. I'm sorry this all happened to you. I lost my first child as well and it was crushing. I'm now a mom to two beautiful children, but I still think about the baby I lost. This baby wasn't meant to be, but someday when the time is right, you'll have that baby. Take care of yourself and I agree, talk to your parents. They really can help you get through this.

[deleted account]

Oh Chelsea, I'm so sorry. I know the timing wasn't the best for you, but loosing a child whether it was planned or not, is difficult and crushing. I hope you have someone close to support you through this. Talk to your parents. I promise they will help you get through it and you will feel better being honest with them. If you need to vent, this is a safe place too and I'm sure any mother here would be willing to PM with you if you need that.
I know we can't comfort you much, but we are here.

Chelsea - posted on 05/01/2012

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I went hospital Yesterday and they done tests and it turned out as misscarrige so shows 5 days at hospital all day and most of the night turned out that I misscarried :'(

Melinda - posted on 04/28/2012

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Your mom and dad will probably be upset for a little bit, but they wont stay that way forever. Your honesty is important for you and your baby's health. Giving your parents time now to adjust to this situation will give the latter part of your pregnancy and the birth the opportunity to be a joyous time for you !You need to get in and see a doctor, and maybe call your local welfare department to see where you can get services if you don't have insurance and need it...plus your pregnancy will make you eligible for insurance (and the baby too), and they go back 6 months from when you apply. SO get to a doctor. Many women's health clinics do not offer abortion services, but still offer the other women's health needs, so I would suggest looking for a clinic like that in your area.

Chelsea - posted on 04/28/2012

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My babys dad is very suportive but we are both extreamly worried at the moment about our baby as ikeep bleading heavy and we have been up the hospital on several ocasions about it and they keep saying that my blood and urine is normal

Alessandra - posted on 04/27/2012

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I am very proud of you hearing you keeping it. Way to go ! Maybe it's too soon to say that but I know that one day this baby will represent the entire world for you! I am a bit older than u.. no kidding I am over 20 years older than you , but when I got pregnant from my son I felt exactly as you feel now.

And I was older , married....

You see there is no formula!

I hope things are doing fine with baby's dad . That will smooth the process.

And keep one thing in mind..it is not because you gonna have a baby at 16 that your life is ended. You can study.... work... everything. Ok?

Good luck and we are here whenever u need.

[deleted account]

You can go to any doctor's office if you do not have a GP. They will help you. Your guidance counselor can probably recommend one to you, but go as soon as possible.

Chelsea - posted on 04/24/2012

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Firstly thanks for all your help I'm going to speek to my gidence councerler as soon as posible and I already know I am keeping it as I am agenst terminations and I don't have a family gp as she died and know I don't have one and there isn't a sexual help clinic near me as it closed done last year

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