What do our children think about having a working mom??

Terry - posted on 03/13/2010 ( 213 moms have responded )

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What do kids today think of working moms?? Check out this UNSCRIPTED video that MyWorkButterfly caught on video.

MyWorkButterfly works on partnership with Circle of Moms.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jackie - posted on 03/25/2010

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I agree whole heartedly on the earlier post that working mom's rule!!!

I never really stopped working except to be lucky enough to have paid maternity leave for three and a half months with my son when he was born. Aidan is now five and a half and he is the most well adjusted kid.
Being in daycare from an early age he has experienced the bonding with both teachers and little friends that is unmeasureable. He is so willing to try new things, new restaurants, new food & he is sooooo friendly and outgoing. I attribute this to the early choices we made and with me as a working mom he has this "silent respect" for both my husband and myself.
I have no regrets & for some of these mothers to make comments about "kidding ourselves", is that actually for real? I know working vs nonworking mothers and issues like bottle feeding vs breast are almost treated like political issues now. But I have friends that are home with their kids and are absolutely miserable about it. They lack the stimulation, real adult stimulation. They are college educated, vibrant women who feel unappreciated and regardless of the quality time they think they are spending with their kids. Not only that, but they have a lot more time to think about the money they do not have to spend on vacations, camps, and the feeling they are falling farther and farther behind in their industry. (The lack of contribution in their 401K, pension contributions - it adds to millions in losses in some cases depending on how long they stay out of an industry.)
I am so lucky to have such an understanding family, and a husband to be able to maintain the schedule we do with projects, everyday work, and travel that both my husband and I do. Sometimes we switch on and off and often we are all able to piggyback on a business trip together. Both my husband and myself do very specialized work is very specialized and I am so glad to be a part of this incredible industry that has been good to me in every way.
In fact just last week my sister's son told his High School guidance teacher how proud of his mom because of the work she does for her family. My sister is an incredibly technical mechanical engineer that travels more than anyone I know and has three to five kids at home depending on the time of year (due to college). Two of those kids are now pursuing Engineering as well.
No one ever said this was easy; but I think of the role model I have become for my son and the incredible appreciation he will have for his wife someday juggling it all. I am one proud mommy!!!

Rachel - posted on 03/17/2010

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First - let me say working moms rule, are juggling masters, and overall amazing!
I have a 4 1/2 month old boy and a 4 1/2 year old girl. I talk to my little girl about mommy working and she totally understands that it is important for mommy to work just like it is important for her to go to school. We both work hard while away from home and then we play hard together at home! She has learned to be a great helper because I say thinks like "I know you are tired from a long day at school and mommy is too. So let's work together tonight so that we can have snuggle time together before bed because you know how much mommy needs your attention too." Believe it or not, she gets it and is quite independent! Let's hope it works for my boy as he grow, too!

Bronwyn - posted on 03/18/2010

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My children dont like me working. When they ill i cannot be there for them, when they come from school i am not there to assist them and spend quality time with them. My kids walk home from school age 8 and 11. When they get home they do there homework and there chores (sweeping, mopping, dishes) after that they go next door to my neighbor for lunch and wait for me to come home. When i ge thome i immediately start the food and there after cleaning and bathing - one big rush. The only i have with the kids is around the dinner table. It is tough but it helps them realise that the world out there is tough and we have to work hard to get where we are today.

Hazel - posted on 03/17/2010

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my son's so proud of me...i spoke with one of his teachers and he told me that my son always brag about her mom being a nurse and working abroad...i'm so happy and i feel proud as well....thanks God He gave me a son like Jach...

Laura - posted on 03/16/2010

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My son does not like me working because I work midnights and he feels I sleep all the time. He wants me to have more energy to play with him but since Im not super human my body needs its rest. As he gets older I hope these feelings will turn into gratitude for what I have done for him. I sacrifice and will go without in a hearbeat to provide for my one and only son. Funny thing I felt the same way about my mom working midnights as a child.It wasnt until I was grown that I realized how much she gave of herself so that we could have it all!!

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Shannon - posted on 04/15/2013

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I posted on here years ago how I felt guilty going back to uni and then working when my little girl was small (from 10 months old), she is now nearly 4 and when asked wants she wants to be when she grows up she says 'doctor mummy'- I'm a doctor and a mummy. :) SO that really consolidated that she is fine with it!

[deleted account]

WOW. My babies stay at Gammies while I work but whenit's time to go home, the boys want to stay and the girls want to come home. Once it is time to go back to Gammies house, my youngest son doesn't want me to go to work. It hurts and for the longest, about a year, I cried ebcause I missed them A LOT because we were ALL use to being around one another EVERYDAY. With shift work, I can't be because I work some nights and some times I work alllll day. They miss me but on my days off, I try my best to make it all about them.

Irina - posted on 04/10/2012

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My 4,5 year old son hates it most of the time. Sometimes he is OK with the fact that I have to go to work and he has to go to school, but almost every morning he is asking with such hope in his eyes: "Mom, is it a home day? Can we please make it a home day? You can work on your computer and I will sit very quietly, I promise! " That breaks my heart. If it wasn't for the money, I would quit in a heartbeat.

Mariana - posted on 04/04/2012

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Wow! This makes me feel less guilty, although I cannot help feeling this bit of guilt about working full time while my 2 1/2 year old is constantly running from my parents to daycare and back home. I am really only woking full time out of neccesaity at this point. Hopefully my absence will not have any negative effects on him...

Olga - posted on 02/27/2012

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Hey Working Moms!

If you havent done so, PLEASE take a few minutes to fill out this survey



https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RMWRDWX



*Copy and Paste the link your browser to go directly to the survey



It is a part of an honorary research project for Palo Alto University on an AfterSchool Program.



I ONLY Need 20 more participants, so please participate and forward to other parents!





THANK YOU

Chan - posted on 02/25/2012

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My kids hated ime working outside the home, I missed all their games and plays at school, I finally found a job that I can do from home on the computer and my kids love it. I miss nothing anymore and its great money even more then I made selling life and health insurance. I would recomend working from home for anyone that is tired of feeling like you are letting your kids down by not being there. That is how I always felt. We are hiring if anyone is interested let me know. Good luck ladies

Olga - posted on 02/18/2012

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Hey Working Moms,

Please take a few minutes to fill out this survey for research for AfterSchool Day Care Programs for YOUR children.



https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RMWRDWX



Sincerely,

Olga Lykova

Olga - posted on 02/18/2012

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Hey Working Moms,

Dear Parents,

I am an undergraduate student who is conducting an honorary research project.

My topic is creating an AfterSchool DayCare Program for children.

I am currently acquiring my research from a survey and would love to have you participate.



This survey is a part of honorary research project from Palo Alto University of the Undergraduate Students.



The purpose of this survey is to gather data on the customer's preference for an AfterSchool Program.The survey will take about 10-15 minutes. Please complete the survey in one sitting.



There are no risks at taking this survey. All of the responses will remain strictly confidential and anonymous and will be used purely for the research project.

Any questions or concerns can be sent to Olga to olykova@PaloAltoU.edu







Please follow the link to the survey:



https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RMWRDWX



Thank you for your participation and your time.

[deleted account]

Working moms are the best and dads. My daughter understands why "WE" need to work. Her job in school, get that education. My job is to provide in all ways, especially mentally. We want our children to learn from us, so we must set great examplse. Whether you're a single mother or mother & father raising children. They need to see/know what it takes to survive in this world and to know that nothing is free. They look up to us to prepare them, if we don't....who will? My daughter knows work first, play later and when we play and enjoy ourselves we do it to the fullest! Plus, we both look forward to Fridays. That's when it's time to do out girl talk and stuff, soak out feet, paint them, do our hair and whatever else we feel like doing. I love our Friday's! And we both look forward to them.

Maree - posted on 01/19/2012

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My neice said to her mum.."you care about your job more than me...you are never at my school,it's always nanny"



My sis in law was so upset as she felt that it was necessary to work... so stupidly she said to her daughter..." well do you want a pool and a big house,lots of nice clothes and holidays...or do you want to be like your cousins whose mum is home but they don't have anything?"



It was so incorrect because her cousins have plenty...they can afford for her not to work and they CHOOSE to not go camping all the time or to have pool. I think my sis in law lashed out because she was so offended by the comment...but the poor kid was only 5 at the time !!!!

Maree - posted on 01/19/2012

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My neice said to her mum.."you care about your job more than me...you are never at my school,it's always nanny"



My sis in law was so upset as she felt that it was necessary to work... so stupidly she said to her daughter..." well do you want a pool and a big house,lots of nice clothes and holidays...or do you want to be like your cousins whose mum is home but they don't have anything?"



It was so incorrect because her cousins have plenty...they can afford for her not to work and they CHOOSE to not go camping all the time or to have pool. I think my sis in law lashed out because she was so offended by the comment...but the poor kid was only 5 at the time !!!!

Kimmi - posted on 01/14/2012

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My kids hate it. I have a 14 year old, 11 year old and a five year old. What is worse is that I am on call 24 hours a day. I am beginning to hate it as well. I stayed home when they were little but am starting to wonder if I should have just shelved the whole working full time power mom thing. It really stinks and I am struggling immensely.

Kimmi - posted on 01/14/2012

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My kids hate it. I have a 14 year old, 11 year old and a five year old. What is worse is that I am on call 24 hours a day. I am beginning to hate it as well. I stayed home when they were little but am starting to wonder if I should have just shelved the whole working full time power mom thing. It really stinks and I am struggling immensely.

Nicole - posted on 12/30/2011

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my son is 4 when i go to work he goes mommy works baseball and understands sort of

Monaica - posted on 12/20/2011

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She's okay with it - most of the time. Because I still make the time every single day to PLAY. At this age, that's her most favorite thing to do, so...we do it!

Amanda - posted on 12/17/2011

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My kids hate it exspecialy my lil girl, I stayed home when I had my first son then when I had my daughter I had to go to work, and now I have been working for 4 yrs and they hate it I am always gone and I feel I dont have enought time with them and they feel the same way. Hopefully it will be getting better I will be starting school hopefully soon and will be able to get a better job ..

Shelley - posted on 11/06/2011

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I can relate. I work Nights as well and some OT. It has caused issue sin my relationship as well!!!

Donna Marie - posted on 11/06/2011

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I'm sure my kids would prefer that they had my undivided attention all of the time, however, they understand that I am building this business for our family.
They help me, as I've had to delegate most of my chores, and they give me feedback on projects sometimes.

Jana - posted on 11/02/2011

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I have worked from the time my son was born (he's 4 now). I grew up in a home where my mom was a SAHM or only did part time work while we were in school, my dad worked 60-70 hours a week. For me to be a working mom, it is very different than how I was raised. My son is proud of me and asks me from time to time 'what I do'. I have an understanding boss that allows me to leave early if my son is sick or is having a party/function at preschool. I don't think my son feels neglected. We have explained to him from early on that working is what Mommy and Daddy have to do to be able to afford nice things for ourselves and for him, and he seems fine with it.

Jessica - posted on 08/07/2011

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I run a 24hr clinic 40hrs per week and my hours are aweful. I work 7p-7a every Saturday and Sunday and 3p-11p every Tuesday and Wednesday. All four of my boys ask me almost daily " mom when are you gonna not work so much, so that you can spend time with us?" I am not only physically drained, but emotionally as well. By the time I feel that I may be rested and feeling decent during the week, it's time to start all over again.

Jessica - posted on 08/07/2011

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I run a 24hr clinic 40hrs per week and my hours are aweful. I work 7p-7a every Saturday and Sunday and 3p-11p every Tuesday and Wednesday. All four of my boys ask me almost daily " mom when are you gonna not work so much, so that you can spend time with us?" I am not only physically drained, but emotionally as well. By the time I feel that I may be rested and feeling decent during the week, it's time to start all over again.

Teresa - posted on 08/05/2011

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Never been an issue with my 7 year old. I've worked as long as he can remember and it is a part of life. I am lucky enough to have a gret boss that works with me to get me to all functioans and dr.s appt. so my son really hasn't felt neglected.

Shannon - posted on 07/18/2011

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I felt so guilty before I went back to uni at 10months to finish med school, but within 2 weeks I realized I was so much happier doing what I had dreamt of for my whole life, and my daughter barely noticed I was gone- she is such a little extrovert. I want her to grow up with dreams that she can actually live out, like I have. We have a wonderful relationship. We have a wonderful attachment, she doesn;t doubt my love for a minute and is much more adjusted and stable in her nature than many kids I know who have never left mum. Life is working out pretty great. I think that's the key- making a decision and enjoying the results, because they can be great either way, and you cannot go back.

Dyani - posted on 07/17/2011

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With 4 kids an being a single parent they understand I have to work to provide for them. Its been this way for so long it what they know. My 6yr old makes sure he gets hugs n kisses twice before I walk out the door then sometimes twice more once I'm out the door. He tells me when he is big enough he will take care of me so I dont have to be gone all the time. But ALL their faces light up with happiness the moment I walk thru the door each time. It is hard I wish I could be home with them each day as they ask me to be. But they know I love them very much and understand why I work.

Kim - posted on 07/16/2011

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i wish i could afford to work part-time. Its hard trying to get them back and forth to alot of things they like to do. Sometimes i just want to scream its so hard.

Joann - posted on 07/05/2011

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My kids know nothing else as I have worked since they were born. I have been blessed that my mother in law has cared for them all of these years. My son is 7 and my daughter is almost 4. I am home by 3:30 everyday and have off for the summer as well as all of their school holidays and so things work out rather well for us. My income enables my husband a career where he is home no later than 5:00 every evening and so my kids have a Dad as much as they have a Mom in their lives. I know quite a few families where the Mom is home but Dad has to make up for this by working very long hours and have very little time to spend with their family. All and all I think that something like this can only be looked at on an individual basis as what works for one family may not work for another.

Katrina - posted on 07/05/2011

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my daughter will often tell me that it seems like I don't have any time for her because I'm always working, and I work from home.

Heather - posted on 06/20/2011

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My kids love it, they are very proud of me. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be independently wealthy and retire tomorrow, but until then, we are good.

Laurie - posted on 06/14/2011

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ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I HAVE WORKED SINCE MY KIDS WERE BORN.. they respect that i miss them when im not home but htey do understand that in order to have bill paid .. and extra special stuff.. i need to have money.. i miss them when im not around.. i try to make up for it when i am home.. it is the best i can do.. the days of a mom being able to stay home are over for this generation... its a shame but a reality

Alice - posted on 06/13/2011

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What do our children think? Too broad a question.
I can only relay my child's opinion or at least what I understand it to be.
He is not so little anymore but I have been working all of his life. The longest break in my professional life was the 8 weeks I took for maternity. Until he hit 3 the only thing he understood was that I was leaving and he was not coming and this brought tears and beseeching screeching. At 3 he became a little more independent, potty trained and a lego enthusiast, he was used to me leaving for long periods of time. I am not saying he liked it but he mostly accepted it. At 4, he asked me why I work. I sat down with him and explained why I worked. We went over the big points. Money, food, bills, gas for the car, and of course toys played their part. Did he understand? He understood enough.
Now, it's a few years later. What does he think? He likes the idea and understands why it's important. I would say good deal of their opinion is formed from what information we provide them.
I think if we were to generalize it, children as a whole take things in stride, it's the adults that need to cope.

Kelly - posted on 06/08/2011

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My 2 oldest daughtes (5 and 4) say that, "When I grow up I want to be a Nana so I can take care of kids... Mama's have to work." Thanks for the guilt, kids lol

[deleted account]

my little girl is almost 3 and she still goes mommy y you have to work?
it ripes me in half but i have to work or we will have nothing. my husband cant find a job and its just me providing for our family.

Debbie - posted on 05/18/2011

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I agree withtthe last post about cameras in day care centres, also should be in classrooms too. Not just to catch the bad guys but to see what your kids are doing at school and how they are being taught.
I have always worked and have never had the luxury of not working. I have one child by choice as I cannot afford any more as a single mum. I relied on my parents to look after my son when i finished my maternity leave and could not have stayed at work without this support. My son went to baby nursery at one and a half when he was getting a bit much for my parents.Also I wanted him to have company of other kids. This was really hard at the time but he settled down. Then my son went to nursery which he loved as the teachers were so good at their jobs it was like a second home. When my son went to school he found it really hard and still does now as it is nothing like being at home. It was a big shock for him to have to behave in a certain way, stay still for long periods and to have to meet targets with his work. There is no room for caring within the education system which actually represses children like my son who perform better with positive reinforcement in a more relaxed atmosphere. Unfortunately I cant afford private education and i cannot home school. The same applies to after school care services that are way too structured and non personalised for some kids. my son had to go to after school care for 2 hours every school day for about a year due to my circumstances. it was tough for him. My son is 11 now and he refuses point blank to go to after school care as he feels he is forced to spend time there when I am working after school. My parents asked me to cancel it and let him come to them again. Unfortunately my mum died 2 years ago and that all changed as my dad works too. My son was passed around like a basket ball for a while until he told me he hated it, So he only goes to my dads now after school and he likes this. The problems occur when my dads working but we just try to work around it. My son is a very caring and sensitive boy and he is confident in making friends with people, however, he prefers me to be there for him when school finishes. This is not usually possible as i work 8 hours a day. I explain all this to him regularly and it is getting better. My nephew aged 11 has a chip on his shoulder cos his mum doesnt work and refers to me being able to do more stuff as I am working. So , children can see it from both sides. I have had a lot of stress over the years fighting for my rights as a single working mum which has made it really hard for me but I have had no choice. I have been off sick for past 5 months and my son says he prefers me being at home even though I am sick. i have realised he worries about me when I am working as my job is very stressful, and he would rather we had less money as long as I am less stressed and he sees me more. Your children take everything in, even the things you think they dont know about. I wish I could have more of a balance, and when I do go back to work i want to be doing something that works for the whole family.
God bless grandparents.

Lucy - posted on 05/17/2011

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Yea, its real challenging being a working mum, especially when u have limited time for ur kids, and yet they need ur care. my six year old always tells me that, he moves out to play with friends all the day long because am not there to attend to him. he says if i stay home he also stays home, if i move out he also moves out. But i tried to explain to him that, if i stay home with him we wont get what to eat, he wont get school fees , ice cream and the toy cars. He came to understand me and no longer ask me to stay home. One day he amused me and his dad; whn his dad said eh.."i dot have money to day" the the boy told him "why don't u go n work, then the dad told the boy to go and work also. Finally the boy replied that" me i am not dad" its dad's responsibility to go and work. it was so amazing!!!!.

Lucy - posted on 05/17/2011

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Yea, its real challenging being a working mum, especially when u have limited time for ur kids, and yet they need ur care. my six year old always tells me that, he moves out to play with friends all the day long because am not there to attend to him. he says if i stay home he also stays home, if i move out he also moves out. But i tried to explain to him that, if i stay home with him we wont get what to eat, he wont get school fees , ice cream and the toy cars. He came to understand me and no longer ask me to stay home. One day he amused me and his dad; whn his dad said eh.."i dot have money to day" the the boy told him "why don't u go n work, then the dad told the boy to go and work also. Finally the boy replied that" me i am not dad" its dad's responsibility to go and work. it was so amazing!!!!.

[deleted account]

I read this last night and asked him this morning how he would feel if I quit my job. He said with some alarm, "Mom! We'd have to live in the car."

I'm a single mother after 2 divorces. Whether he 'likes' it or not, is irrelevant.

Emily - posted on 04/28/2011

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They don't mind me working. I got to stay home for the first four years which I wouldn't have given up for anything. That also gave me the love of working and the opportunity to change fields and I found loving your job makes it a little easier being away from them and it does and has built their independence which is going to give them the strength they need in life. I can help them into growing into strong men that can make smart choices in life. I still feel like staying at home was the hardest job I ever had. I have learned to appreciate my time I have with them even more now. They get to see how much I love my job and what it provides for us.

Yolanda - posted on 04/24/2011

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my kids are kind of ok with it but sometimes they dont want me to leave but at the same time undertand that mommie hads to make money to be able to provide........ they have their moments where they want to be selfish and keep me to themselves

Sunny - posted on 04/23/2011

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I was raised in a household where my father was a very good provider and my mother was a homemaker with little ambition or confidence. This greatly affected the way I viewed myself and my self esteem suffered. I spent most of my twenties ravenously searching for the right man who would support me and whisk me away from the possibility of having to "gasp" work. After thirty five years my parents are now divorcing My mom has a four year degree from a state college. However she has not entered the workforce in 35 years and she is still completely and totally dependent on my dads alimony for her very survival. While she is single she is far from truly independent. I feel that it is extremely important to maintain life skills. Even with multiple children. If u cannot work that is respectable and even admirable but I feel it is irresponsible in some sense to completely take yourself out of the ways of the working world for decades. Volunteer, go to night school, do a trade on the side. Hell, sell Mary Kay! Whatever it take to establish some autonomy. I know from experience that NO ONE is safe from the prospect of possible singled, divorce, and even single motherhood. I am now a divorced single mom of a one year old son. I'm far from perfect but I am putting a huge amount of energy and passion into my career as a law student/ future attorney. I owe it to my son and yes, to myself.

Kim - posted on 04/18/2011

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My dd doesn't like me working. She goes to a private school where about 1/3 of the mom's are at home and volunteer in her class and trying to explain why I can't be there more often gets to be hard on me and her. I've had several nights where she will beat me up pretty good with the "You are not there" conversations.

Kim - posted on 04/18/2011

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My dd doesn't like me working. She goes to a private school where about 1/3 of the mom's are at home and volunteer in her class and trying to explain why I can't be there more often gets to be hard on me and her. I've had several nights where she will beat me up pretty good with the "You are not there" conversations.

Miriam - posted on 04/13/2011

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I have an 8 year old son and 3 month old twin boys. I am a school teacher, took off one year when my 8 year old was one. when I went back to work when he was 2, he was not too happy, but he loves stuff and money so that encouraged him. Plus he was always either with mommy, daddy or grandma. he did well. Since he started kindergarten he loves it because I am a teacher at his school! Im also getting my masters so I think its a good thing for him to see that women are educated individuals! I have never heard him say wow mom I wish you could stay home! Actually when his brothers were born 3 months ago I took off a month before and 9 weeks after and he was so ready for me to come back to work, because he missed seeing me at school! :+)

Miriam - posted on 04/13/2011

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I have an 8 year old son and 3 month old twin boys. I am a school teacher, took off one year when my 8 year old was one. when I went back to work when he was 2, he was not too happy, but he loves stuff and money so that encouraged him. Plus he was always either with mommy, daddy or grandma. he did well. Since he started kindergarten he loves it because I am a teacher at his school! Im also getting my masters so I think its a good thing for him to see that women are educated individuals! I have never heard him say wow mom I wish you could stay home! Actually when his brothers were born 3 months ago I took off a month before and 9 weeks after and he was so ready for me to come back to work, because he missed seeing me at school! :+)

Dawn - posted on 04/07/2011

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I completely relate to Bronwyn as my life is the same way... busy busy. I thought about staying home a few months ago and asked my two older boys (10 & 5) if they would rather mommy stay home or work. At first they both said stay home then I explained mommy staying home meant less money coming in so we might cut back on some things such as going out to eat as often, buying toys for no reason, etc. My oldest said that is fine I will give all that up for you to stay home, my 5 year old said no I still need toys every week...ha ha

http://scatteredsmotheredcovered.com

Cori - posted on 04/02/2011

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Mine has mixed feelings. He loves the perks and is proud of me. But at the same time knows that sometimes he has to take a backseat in priorities. It's always a balancing act between time and emotions for both of us.

Cori - posted on 04/02/2011

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Mine has mixed feelings. He loves the perks and is proud of me. But at the same time knows that sometimes he has to take a backseat in priorities. It's always a balancing act between time and emotions for both of us.

Sabrina - posted on 04/01/2011

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I think it is a good thing for me to be working. My son can see that I am a provider just like his father.And I can be a positive rolemodel for him.

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2011

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My daughter does not like me working. If she had it her way I would stay home and she wouldnt go to school. =) All in a perfect world I guess!!! We both get crabby when we dont get enough quality time in.

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