What do u do when you just cant do it all?

Tasha - posted on 05/16/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Im a working Mom of twins (6 yrs old). My husband is an awesome father but what do you do when you just cant do it all? Although he helps out things still get out of hand with it all where it feels like i never have enough hours or energy or both in a day to do it all...and when i see it all i mean, work, come home and be a mommy, and wife by cooking, cleaning, organizing, managing bills, as well as extended family events and plans. Even with my regular duties as wife and mom it doesnt seem like enough hrs in a day and lately ive been soooooo tired! When i do all i can and some things are left undone it gets even harder because i fall behind on things so if i take that nap or rest break its worth it for the moment but not in the long run. Yes my husband does a lot as well but i dont think men truly understands all what women really do this is beyond than just the surface that they may never see being done that women do that adds to their many duties. Of course i cant afford to hire help but i guess i just need to find a way to get back on track so things wont seem so tiring. I almost feel guilty when i take a nap and then wake up and have all this "stuff" i have to do.

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Lakota - posted on 06/26/2012

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Tasha, just hang on for the ride. You can't do it all. Do what you can. Do your best. Love your husband and kids with all your might and feel good about what you did accomplish every night. Don't feel guilty about napping. At the end of the day, if your husband and your kids know that they are loved by you, everything will be ok.

Trista - posted on 06/25/2012

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First realize that it truly can not all get done, and being okay with that, then finding ways to better manage what you will get done. Have you ever read the book Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy. Great book on Time Management, I'd recommend it. It might help give you a fresh perspective on how to handle your daily tasks.

Shone - posted on 06/21/2012

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It is impossible to do it all. You will learn some short cuts, ie paper plates,kids cups assigned by color, sandwiches on a napkin, crockpot cooking, rotisserie chicken meals, etc. The room that was most visible when guests came over or the front door opened needed to be fairly clean. I used storage boxes/bins to put stuff in. A pretty large blanket/quilt cover to cover a basket full of stuff.

A large family calendar on the refrigerator was a must. My computer crashed and this was a lifesaver. I had to organize and simplify for awhile. I had three kids two years apart and my husbands hours changed constantly. I discovered Flylady.net which helped with the organization.

Karen - posted on 05/22/2012

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I feel your pain. I'm a working mom of twins (3 yrs old) and I'm ALWAYS exhausted and stressed out! I always feel like I'm running from one thing to another. My husband works 24 hours shifts at his full time job and 12 hour shifts at his part time job, so I'm on my own a lot. For me, I know that without enough sleep I'm completely useless, so I make that a priority and let a lot of other stuff go. I rarely cook. Breakfast for the kids is cereal or toast. Dinner is spagetti o's, hot dogs, frozen veggies, rotisserie chickens, grilled cheese - that sort of thing. My husband and I are never home for dinner on the same days so we usually just eat what we make for the kids or don't eat at all. My house is rarely neat and clean. I don't like it that way but I've learned to accept it. Basically we just keep up with the essentials and let the rest go. I was hoping it would get easier as they got older but it doesn't sound that way :(

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When I got to a point where I simply couldn't handle it all, I did 2 things--I asked for help, then I prioritized my time.

It is impossible for many women to fit full time jobs in along with all of their maternal and household duties. While we like to boast equality, the fact remains that even in homes where both parents are working equal hours outside the home, the mother is still taking on the bulk of household and child rearing duties. My first step forward? Hire a maid. She can do the mundane, mindless cleaning that must be done over and over again while you are at work, or even when you are home if you prefer (but you have to consider their hours). You should not waste your time doing things that others can do for you--anyone can wash windows, vacuum floors, and polish the furniture. Outsourcing those tasks will leave you time and energy for the things that only you can do, like spending time with your little ones, organizing family events.

Second, prioritize. When I had reached my limit, I found that I was often standing in the middle of a room wondering "where do I start?" and getting distracted with another task before finishing the first one--thus, nothing was ever finished. To remedy, I created a calendar with all of our events on it--from my son's sport practices, my brunch dates with friends, and my husbands meetings and business trips. Every morning, I stroll through my home making note of things that I want to accomplish that day, then I open my calendar and fit the tasks around the scheduled events. Sometimes I can't do everything that needs to be done, so I make a note to do it on the first day where I see available time. This way, I spend less time wondering where to go from here, and I have a list to keep me on track.

Kimberly - posted on 05/17/2012

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I've leaned that sometimes thing just have to be left undone for a little bit and it takes some time to do but get yourself oganized to make things easier. I set up a special account that is only for our bills, put money in there every month to cover bills throughout the year then have direct debits set up so they pay themselves, my washing machine has a delay button so I put a load in at night before bed and have it set so that its done washing when I wake up so that way I just have to hang it up and I'm down one load. Get your husband and girls to help you do things like pick up there stuff, help with dishes and clearing the table,take out trash, etc etc, that way it helps you, takes less time and you get more done. I try to clean at my bathrooms at least twice a week that way they never get really dirty and take only minutes to do, I vac while my daughter is awake then mop once she is sleeping. You can be responsible for ever things all the time, everyone has to help that way you can get a rest too!!!

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