what do you do when your seven year old has a bad sassy mouth and acts like a teenager, but when you disepline her she plays the nobody loves me card and threatns to run away. any suggestions ?

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Teresa - posted on 01/21/2009

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I keep a bag packed at the door and tell my 7 year old I'm ready to drop her off anywhere she want's, she just hasn't "come up" with a good place to go yet. The bag has been there for 2 1/2 months now. She seems to listen better when she hears me grab my keys. She'll thank me later right?

Tu - posted on 01/21/2009

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My 7 year is generally a very well mannered kid. He NEVER swears at his mummy (phew) and most of the time I will catch his potty mouth when I'm in another room and he's frustrated at the meddling of his 4 year old brother. Needless to say I sort his bad language out with a few sharp words and all is fine. But my lord the drama that follows is the worst. He sulks. Says I don't love him. Tells me he's a bad bad boy. Tells me he wants to die so everyone can be happy. Family say its just attention-seeking, but I'm so distressed about it. I'm worried about putting out on the front door step when he's this way. And Ive told him how much i love him till i'm blue in the face. I may just try the 'shower or bath' method suggested.... but any other ideas are welcome.

Nicole - posted on 01/21/2009

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Thanks for all of the advice! I am so grateful to hear that most gradeschoolers go through this! My son is 8 and acts the same way sometimes. I am definately going to try the suggestion of putting him outside! hilarious!

Trish - posted on 01/21/2009

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my daughter is now 12 and she is still going thru this stage. i went so far one time as to call my sister and have her pick up my daughter and a couple of bags of things. my girl stopped for almost 6 months. everytime she starts up now, i just look at her and say "do ya want to go live with your aunt?" and she's good for a while.

Sara - posted on 01/21/2009

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I had a conversation with my boys when they were both about this age. I did it when we were all chilled out, and asked them to think of all the naughty words they could, words they were pretty sure I didn't like. I told them they wouldn't get into trouble for it this time! So I let them tell me all the ones they knew, and asked them what they thought of them. Some of them they said sounded stupid and silly, so I challenged them to not use them. They agreed. Ok so there was the odd slip, but by and large they stuck with it. I also told them it was ok to be mad sometimes, but that I would really like to know what they were mad about, so I could see if I could help. I told them I got mad sometimes too, but that no matter how mad I got I would always love them. I used that technic too when I got the threats to leave home, something like " well if you left that would be a real shame, as I would really miss having you about as I love you so much" When I didn't react with 'violence' or a raised voice then they backed off. It's perseverence, and lots of deep breaths....oh and the odd glass of wine when they are settled in bed!

Mine are a bit older now, and we had another conversation recently where we went through the naughty words again,and I asked them if they knew what they meant. When I explained what some of them were they were horrified that that was what they had REALLY been saying!!

Terry - posted on 01/21/2009

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Put her on the front step, tell her to go find some place better and close the door. Worked on my boy, he sat on the step pouted banged on the door and then cried for a minute or 2 to unlock it and I haven't heard a word in alomst 2 years about him wanting to move away or not getting enough attention. He was an only child then and had all my attention .



My not be the right way but it worked for me.

Tammy - posted on 01/21/2009

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my daugher wa 7  when she started doing this she would throw stuff at us and tell us she is running away cause no one loved her at first i used to get realy upset thinking i wasnt giving her the attention she needed she in num 5 of 6 children but it been a yr now and i have relized it nothing i do cause i can spend all day with her and she will still do it so all i do now when she starts getting angry i tell her she is upset and need some time alone i found a shower or bath is the best thing as it give her some space from everyone else and time to think  when she get out i ask her if she want to talk about what was wrong most of the time it was something small and she see it was worth the carry on it getting better

Chris - posted on 01/19/2009

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Stand your ground...if it's not working, then offer to help her pack.  That will get her attention!!!  Just don't argue back.  Remember to be strong without engaging in the tantrum with her.

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2009

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I completely agree with Jenny.  I have an 8 year old who likes to try to behave in about the same manner.  I loathe that she does it and it makes me feel terrible as a parent sometimes but I have found that later she's completely forgotten why she was mad and doesn't "hate" me so much anymore.

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I hate to say this but you have to hold firm.  Tell her you love her but will not tolerate the mouth.  They all go through this and all get over it.  I'd also make a point to compliment her when she is respectful and find fun things to do with her when she is behaving correctly, just be careful not to tie rewards to manners!

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