what do you do with disobedient and naughty taudlers?

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Kiara - posted on 05/05/2010

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Let them know what they are doing is wrong.
Remove them from the situation.
Tell them what actions are acceptable.
Tell the consequence if they continue the bad behavior.
Follow through on the consequences.

NO 2nd chances and empty threats. Children, especially toddlers, are trying to figure out their boundaries and its your job to show them what they are.

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Kelly - posted on 05/05/2010

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thank you all very much for your replies !!!! she is aries (a.k.a. terribly headstrong) and so am i ... so u can all imagine what takes place in our home ... her dad always works so whenever he's at home he usually just sleeps and doesn't participate in her growing up ... so i'm all alone to do all that hard work ... i've tried the consequencestrategy but ... tough luck ... she's really stuborn ... and strongminded ... for example ... her favorite activity is whatching dora the explorer ... so i put her in her chair .. turn on the dvd and prepared her fruit .. i take it to her (she can eat it on her own,she's 25 months).. i place it on her table ... and she starts throwing it on the couch ... of cource i got really upset .. i pick it up .. and ask her to apologize cause that wasn't nice .. she says no ... i turn the tv off ... and tell her to apologize so that she can watch dora again ... bottom line?she was crying and screaming (asking for daddy or grandma) for a hole hour !!!! and my nerves ? u don't want to know ... i try conversating with her but .... i ended up crying ... taking her out of her chair ... AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES!!!! i'm going insane... going to a childrens' psychologist is a good idea?

Danielle - posted on 05/05/2010

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best bit of advice i can give is NEVER EVER let them get away with behaviour that they KNOW is wrong.even if you are tired and stress...Be firm and rember you are the boss!

We are parents first and NOT our child/childrens friends...you need to be assertive with them and have consequences with every negative action them make. Allow them say 3 chances and tell them what the consequences are..if they follow through with the negative behaviour then follow through with the consequences.

My daughter will be 2 in 6 weeks yet she started the "terrible 2's " when she was 18 months old,lol...i have been able to get to the stage that if she behaves inappropriately or does something that she knows is wrong i can now conversationally just say..."you do realise that if you continue to do that then im afraid you will have to go to your room or have that toy taken off you and then sadly we wont be able to go to the park...god thats guna suck ",lol..and she stops straight away and says sorry,lol...
I also tell her what fun things we are going to do today such as painting, drawing, visiting nan, shopping, going for a walk etc...so she gets excited troughout the day and she knows if she misbehaves she wont get to do it.

But different kids respond to different parenting techniques..you NEED to find one that works for you and your child :)..and when you do you will find that your child will be a lot happier and you will enjoy each other a LOT more :)

Cindy - posted on 05/04/2010

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Try to ignore the things that aren't so bad to deal with (just annoying behaviors). Concentrate on consistent time-outs for the major bad behaviors (hitting, etc.). Remember they won't improve in a matter of days or weeks, more like months.

Alison - posted on 05/04/2010

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Remember that toddlers are by definition disobedient, but I hate qualifying them as naughty. Try to see your toddler as curious and testing boundaries. To be headstrong can be a great quality if it is trained properly.

Do not react when your toddler misbehaves, merely follow through with the consequences, like Taran stated above.

Taran - posted on 05/04/2010

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I had good luck with this strategy:
1) state what you want, and what the consequence will be if they don't do it. (eg, if you don't start picking up the toys by the time I count to three, you will have to have a time out in the chair)
2) count to three or five (I used three, but sometimes wish I'd gone with 5)
3) enforce the consequence.

Key points: the consequence needs to be something SMALL enough that you WILL go through with it. It also needs to be immediate. It doesn't need to be major. Ideally it will "suit the crime" but it's hard to be that creative all the time; a minute or so of time-out works fine, usually.

Sometimes for major meltdowns it is better to side-step the problem---stop, cuddle, take some time to get back in tune with each other, then re-address the situation when you're both feeling better. Kids are not at their best when they're tired, stressed, or hungry---remember this, and tailor your expectations accordingly.

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