What do you think of SAHM's that have nanny's?

Katherine - posted on 04/21/2012 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I don't know........maybe if you need a break or something it's not such a bad idea. But you might as well work for the money you're paying unless you're hubby makes a ton IMO.

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Jessica - posted on 08/22/2012

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By the way, it isn't her "husband's" money, its THEIR money to do with as they please. Its sounds to me like there are a lot of resentful women on here who would like the luxury of having help and are being hateful of those who can. I have worked my whole life and supported myself since I was 17 years old. I happened to marry a man who makes decent enough money to give me the LUXURY--yes, its a luxury, to have help at home to give me the time to do those things that are considered vain and self indulgent. Work out, do nails, etc. I don't see anything wrong with taking care of yourself. I get help 4 days a week. The other days, its all me, no hubby help. I clean our house, pay our bills, grocery shop, do the laundry, etc. etc. Things will get even busier with a newborn, I don't see why this seems "lazy" to anyone. I work as many hours as my husband does if not more because its me who wakes up at all hours of the night for my high needs daughter, not him. I work 24-7 the days without a nanny. Up at 7 and done at 9 when my daughter sleeps and on the days the nanny IS around, I take over from 4 -9. So in total, I could say I work 62 hours a week WITH a nanny helping me. Yes, caring for children is WORK. Top that with responsibilities around the house, and that is an incredible work load. There is nothing lazy about that.

Ania - posted on 04/25/2012

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Everyone needs a break from the work that they are doing right? Also if you are a working mom and your child is in a day care or has a nanny why do you pay her? Because she works for you right? SAHM work at home too, all the time....

[deleted account]

I was assuming she meant a live-in nanny like ours, but what about sahm's who hire in sitters or drop their kids at daycare? Would they be lazy too?

I know that when I was a sahm with J (and I still am in the summers), I do need the occasional break from him twice a week or so. When I'm working a lot, of course I never feel like I need a break from him, and I want to spend every free moment I have with him, but about 2 weeks into summer, I'm ready for a day off--or at least a few hours off--and I do often hire in a day keeper or send him to a day camp or other independent activity so that I can recharge.

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Paula - posted on 03/01/2014

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How about we stop posting things and asking for everyone's opinion? Must every move we make be judged and decided by someone else???

MelissaNV - posted on 02/23/2014

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I think it is one of the best ideas for SAHMs. I know a lot of SAHMs have found that they are much more productive and happier when they have some relief and help from a nanny.

I can highly recommend this resource to find awesome Nannies and Babysitters for Stay At Home Moms or anyone else: http://ReliableSitters.org

There are many ways to pre-screen, including background checks.

All the best!

Heather - posted on 02/17/2013

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@Jessica: Being a mom is hard work? You don't say! You know your spill about cleaning a big house, cooking, paying bills, grocery shopping, and how a SAHM does all this and it's hard work, blah blah blah? Now, try doing ALL THAT and working 50 hours on night shift on an assembly line building Super Duty trucks for Ford! It pisses me off to no end to hear women say that they work harder staying home all day than women who work. But, I guess whatever makes you feel like you are actually doing something worth bragging about.

Heather - posted on 02/17/2013

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I think they are lazy, spoiled women who need a big wake up call. A nanny? Seriously? And most SAHM's want to rag on working moms for putting our kids in daycare.

Lori - posted on 02/03/2013

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1. They must be rich.
2. As long as they are well cared for and loved, if the mom can't/won't do it, maybe a (good) nanny can.

Anne - posted on 01/31/2013

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Geez, I wake up every morning blessed that I can afford help. It is the most immese gratitude I can possibly imagine. Some think that it is self indulgent that you don't work and need help I guess. I am not a martyr. It has given me so much freedom to do wonderful things like volunteer, attend spiritual classes, keep my whole personna healthy etc. My young son is thriving, extremely well attached and mannered. I'm not sure if I could have done the 2 year breastfeeding/attachment parenting/intense spiritual bonding thing without a break. My husband and I have an amazing amount of time to connect with eachother too. My marriage is incredible. I don't drink, take pills, get mad, go insane. We used to raise children in a village, where mothers got plenty of help. Honestly, I would die if I had to stay at home, take care of the baby, do all of the chores, laundry, get angry routine. But that is my personal opinion. Some people are just born Donna Reid/Mother Earth I guess. And by the way, it was almost impossible to find a husband who is supportive, caring, loving, spiritual and can afford to give you this luxury by the way, but I did. Thank god. I guess how I feel is that I don't like to be judged. Everyone choses his/her own path in life. We need to support peoples decisions and embrace eachother not badmouth people's situations.

Mazy - posted on 11/09/2012

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I wouldn't say that I'm resentful because other woman have the luxury of hiring a nanny while they are SAHM (and I did write in an earlier comment that I believed it was necessary for those with illnesses, children with special needs, etc.). My husband makes decent enough money for me to stay home with my kids, which I love being able to do, but not nearly enough to hire a nanny to help out. I have three under the age of four & will be taking on my sister's son (2.5 years old) shortly, so I'll have 4, and possibly her daughter on some days (4.5 years). Yeah, some days it's insanity. But I would never hire someone else to take care of them so I could get my nails done or go to the gym. To me that just doesn't feel right. (I would never spend money on nails anyway) but I run in the mornings when my husband is still home, grocery shop on the weekends (we are a one car family, so I can only leave the house on the weekends). Break time comes at bedtime. For me, my kids don't have any needs, are pretty good sleepers & eaters, so I can usually sleep most of the night. I'm just lucky I guess.



As for the "husband's money" comment...well....I do believe it is the husband's money if the wife doesn't stay home to take care of the kids. I do belive in "our" money, but if I hired someone to watch my kids & then left all day to "take care of myself", I would look it as spending my husband's money since I personally wouldn't be doing my job of raising the kids & caring for the house. But that's just me. In my life, my job is to teach & raise kids, clean, cook, etc. My husband's job is at his office at work. Then we BOTH take care of the kids on the weekends (and no one cleans because we are lazy those days, haha). If I didn't do all of that, then I wouldn't feel right spending his income.

Erica - posted on 11/08/2012

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Personally, I don't understand the reasoning behind a SAHM having a full time nanny. If she doesn't work, doesn't have any disabilities and isn't away from home doing charity work or volunteering somewhere, having a nanny, imo is just so she doesn't have to take care of her own children.



I had a neighbor like that. She had 3 girls, got remarried and had 2 more. The two oldest were in school all day. She hired a nanny to take care of the twins and the three year old. Once that nanny came onboard, she wasn't so interested in being a mother any longer. She quit breastfeeding cold turkey, and stayed gone most of the day.



She wouldn't even answer her phone, instead giving my number as the emergency contact. I heard from that nanny at least a half dozen times in the 2 months she worked there before she quit. The twins were having breathing problems which turned out to be RSV. The nanny had told the mother the babies needed to go to the doctor and she wouldn't take them until I called an ambulance for them. One of the twins had severe diarrhea and the mother didn't have any medication on hand because she didn't believe in giving meds.



The mother told the nanny not to feed the twins because her breasts hurt, then she didn't come home for two hours, saying she decided to just go to lunch with a friend.



The last straw for the nanny was when the oldest girls were home from school sick and the mother went upstairs and refused to help out taking care of the oldest kids. The nanny now had to take care of 5 kids and one of the twins wanted to be held all day. Every time she would have to put him down to take care of one of the other ones he would start crying. The mother came downstairs 5 minutes before it was time for the nanny to leave and had the nerve to ask her why the baby was crying so much.



Yeah, I heard a lot of stories from that nanny in a very short time. She needed someone as a sounding board because her frustration with this mother was growing daily.

Jessica - posted on 08/22/2012

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I would also like to add that I have very bad rheumatoid arthritis/lupus which makes me unnaturally tired and gives me horrendous joint pain, so there are times that I am physically unable to do some things, which is another reason I need the help.

Jessica - posted on 08/22/2012

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And that's YOUR personal opinion, but if your husband had the money, I bet you would hire a nanny too. Being a mother is hard work, and not for everyone. There is cleaning a large house, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, bills to pay--and living your own life--. Why make yourself a slave if you don't have to? I'm pregnant. When I was pregnant with my daughter I cared for my newborn premature nephew until he was a year old. Then when I had my daughter, I did it all over again and now I'm waiting on my second child. To top it off my husband works full time--and I don't mean 9-5. He works 7 days a week and is gone for months at a time leaving me by myself. It is exhausting and lonely with no break ever. He doesn't work to afford this nanny (who comes 4 days a week and helps me immeasurable.) We hired her BECAUSE he is always gone. I feel I have the right to do some things that I want to do on top of my housework--I'm no martyr. Plus, I'm starting an internet business. This gives me the time to do this. I think those who think its lazy are haters and would have help if they could. Believe me---I'm raising my kid--but I like the extra relaxation time and time to do the things that I need to.. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom with a nanny.

Mazy - posted on 04/25/2012

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I worked at a day care/preschool for a very short time there were a couple of toddlers who re dropped off by stay at home moms, every day. The one mom admited that her son was in daycare because she didn't like the sound of his crying. I found that really sad. I know she often went out with her girlfriends to lunch, got her nails done, etc. and daycare seemed like a waste....but she might not have been the most tolerant, so he may have been in a better environment at dayca.re But yes, I did think she was lazy for it since she spent over $200 a week of her husband's money & didn't work at all herself.

Michelle - posted on 04/24/2012

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The only time I think of SAHM with nanny is lifestyles of the rich & famous. Or I knew one woman who did because she had 10 children. Even then, she only hired a nanny in the summer when they were all home all day.

I completely get the nanny if you are working at home. You're working and it is nice to have the kids nearby for when you have breaks, lunch, etc. rather than in daycare but still, if you're in your office writing/editing/making jewelry, whatever you do, if you're working you might need child care. I know I can never work at home when my daughter is around. The minute the phone rings she "needs" my attention :)

Mazy - posted on 04/24/2012

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I guess it depends on the situation. When son #2 was born, I had to stay with him for 5 days in the hospital, so our nanny came back to watch son #1 while Hubs was at work. (I had a part time job then & the nanny came during my work hours only). I'm a stay at home mom now, but once all three kids are in school full time I will go back to work/writing & may end up hiring a nanny/sitter/teenager to watch them in the afternoons when they get home from school if needed. Unless the mom or child has a medical condition or something that really requires extra hands, I don't see the point in a nanny if you stay home...

[deleted account]

why not just hire a babysitter for a day, or have a family member help you out, or something...why bother wasting the money on a nanny...



i mean, i know rich families used to do that back in the 1800s and all, but now?? who can afford that anymore?

Stephanie - posted on 04/23/2012

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I think that SAHM's are lazy if they have to have a nanny. I mean isnt their job to TAKE care of the KIDS and house and cook.

[deleted account]

I don't really get the true SAHM who has nothing to do but care for her kids and clean up needing a nanny.

I used one when I worked, and I took a lot of crap for it because I did a lot of my work from home. There were days when I didn't leave the house, but I was still working, and I couldn't work if I had to deal with J on my own. I moved my office home so that I could pop out and see him when I wanted to several times a day, while I was waiting for calls, or on my coffee breaks, etc., but just because I was at home didn't mean my schedule was completely open....you know? Also, even though I was home all day, I often needed to go out in the evenings for meetings and other errands, which daycare would not have accommodated.

Each time I made the decision to become a SAHM, we let the nanny go and just had her come to sit for us when we were both out. Once she actually still lived with us for a while because she was having trouble getting her own place, but I didn't see the need for a full time nanny.

Amy - posted on 04/21/2012

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If you need a break why can't you just hire a babysitter, why would you need a nanny. I just don't know why someone would have kids if they aren't going to take part in raising them. I work full time and so does my husband but we work opposite shifts. Even if we did daycare I wouldn't send them to daycare on the days I wasn't working regardless if I was paying for it or not I want to spend time with my kids. I don't understand it but I know moms do it, it just doesn't make sense to me though.

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