What should I do??

Samantha - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Ok so I work full time, my 5 year old son goes to kindergarten and my daughter goes to daycare. I recieved a call from my sons teacher, she told me he does not listen, he throws fits if he doesnt get his way, and he gets loud when everyone is quite. This is not the first time I have recieved a call, all the times before were from his daycare telling me he is throwing things, not listening, bouncing around, and tearing things off the wall.. I have tried sitting him down and seeing if he had something on his mind, but he wouldnt talk, i did this everyday for a week, but he just kept shrugging his shoulders or crying. I am not sure what to do anymore.. PLEASE HELP!!

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Quoting Samantha:

What should I do??

Ok so I work full time, my 5 year old son goes to kindergarten and my daughter goes to daycare. I recieved a call from my sons teacher, she told me he does not listen, he throws fits if he doesnt get his way, and he gets loud when everyone is quite. This is not the first time I have recieved a call, all the times before were from his daycare telling me he is throwing things, not listening, bouncing around, and tearing things off the wall.. I have tried sitting him down and seeing if he had something on his mind, but he wouldnt talk, i did this everyday for a week, but he just kept shrugging his shoulders or crying. I am not sure what to do anymore.. PLEASE HELP!!


My first quesiton is has anything happened recently in your home, example divorce, dad away for work, or a new joy career for you? If so you son could just be responding to the new atmosphere around him. He is too young to express his emotions and boys just are not good at talking like girls are. Ask the school consulor to talk to him maybe he can come up with solutions. I know it is frunstrating but something is bother him deep down and you need to find out what it is.

Julia - posted on 10/24/2009

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Hi, i hope you're holding up! it can be really hard to hear that one of your kids is playing up, my middle son Thomas was always getting into trouble and could never give me a reason why, he'd just cry and say he was fed up with everyone being angry at him all the time.As strange as it may be we found time was the issue! where we thought he was old enough to dress himself/wash etc he obviously felt abandoned! he responded to us literally helping him with everything, i don't mean doing it for him but just giving him more attention, sitting in the bathroom while he washed/brushed for school, talking about his day as soon as possible, what he enjoyed/disliked. we also devised a system with his teacher where if he felt under pressure he was allowed to put his hand up and ask for a time out, five mins to sit outside the classroom and refocus himself. this year he had a better report than ever, i cried! Kids might not want to talk but they love spending time with their moms, hard when u work all day but it certainly worked for us, good luck!

Amy - posted on 10/24/2009

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First of all it is never easy to hear that your child is acting up in class. My son was having similar outbursts. Both my son and I went and had a conversation with the teacher about his behavior. By doing this he was able to see that both the teacher and I were on the same page and that his behavior would not be tolerated anymore! I also devised a "reward" chart. I was somewhat hesitant about the reward chart because I did not want to reward my son for behavior that was already expected, but it worked!! At the end of the week if he had gotten all good reports from the teacher, he would get a reward even if it was something really simple and inexpensive. I can't say that this will distinguish your issue, but it might be worth a try. Good luck in your efforts!

Jessica - posted on 10/17/2009

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some kids are just not ready to go to school at 5 years old... my kids are born in april, so they will be 5 1/2 when it's time, and i think that will make a big difference... they go the year after those that are born a mere 6 months before them... my brother was a september baby, and he struggle all through school... mom still thinks she should've waited... not sure if that helps.. also... I agree about processed foods, and food colorings may be triggering the behavioural problems... they have done studies to prove this correlation... so maybe look into what you are feeding him... it may be the root cause... nutrient and vitamin deprivation may be making him wild... or... routines not being present... not enough outdoor time to run off excess energy... so many possibilities... hopefully this will be of help... he's in for a long run in school if he's already having issues... good luck!!!

Krystle - posted on 10/17/2009

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I hate to suggest, but maybe he will tell a counselor. I now we want out kids to tall us everything, but if something is triggering this or bothering him, it may be one way to find the answer. Like said before eep trying to talk. Maybe try talking over a board game.

Dawn - posted on 10/17/2009

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I would first sit down w/ the teacher and see if there is anything that triggers the behavior. I would set up a reward system for positive behavior at school and at home. I have made a chart w/ my kids at times when there are probs. Let him know how many stickers a week he has to get to earn something...the best is one on one time w/ you. Let him chose what to do together like play a game, go to the park, read or something...w/ out his sister. I would also have a meeting w/ him and the teacher too, to talk about what the school and you are going to do to work w/ him. Keep the communication going too...it's good you are trying to get him to talk. Sometimes kindergarten is overwhelming...my daughter cried a lot then too when i would ask her what was up. good luck!

Erica - posted on 10/17/2009

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My advice is to have a sit down with your son and teacher and find out what is going on and around what time of day she notices him acting out. He sounds like he needs constant stimulation. I had a student in my preschool who acted out pretty much all day I sat with his mother and discussed cutting back on sugars and chocolate. I decided to have him do extra projects durning the day and we came up with a reward system using the computers. Structure and sticking to the same schedule will really help.

Aleid - posted on 10/15/2009

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Agree, wish there was some magic to cope with that. Just be firm with him and consistent. Thta's the only way I guess.....

Maribel - posted on 10/14/2009

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Man girl, I wish I had the answer. My first thought would of been to whip his ass but that gets you know where. Desipline is sometimes a must but you gotta know how and when to use it. There's not gonna be any other choice but to keep trying to talk to him. It's not like you can take him outta school or anything, he'll eventually get use to things but it's gonna be a long hard time. Sorry to be honest.

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