When can I find "me time" ?

Terry - posted on 12/24/2009 ( 230 moms have responded )

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It's important to find "me time." Between working all week and running around to my kids' activities, it gets harder and harder to figure it out. I know in order to keep my sanity, I have to make it a priority to get that time. Believe it or not, I do my best thinking in the shower, so sometimes you just try and stay a little while longer and it clears your mind. Also, I make the best of that one-hour nail appointment or the occassional evening when my husband's away on business.



What do you do for "me time" ??



Submitted by Terry Starr, Co-founder of MyWorkButterfly.com in partnership with Circle of Moms

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Betty Ann - posted on 12/27/2009

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I get up at 0420 to go to the gym. I workout for an hour and half and have realized that is the best "me time" ever! I am able to focus on work, my family, and everything else afterwards. I also have realized that some of the moments when I wanted to be alone are better spent with my daughter because she is growing up so fast. I don't focus on "me time" so much since I have encorporated the gym time. Everything else just seems to fall into place.

I have also realized not to sacrifice things I like to do just because my daughter doesn't want to do them. LIke hiking....I purposefully look for short hikes so she can join me and then save the longer ones for days with just my husband.

It is a great balancing act I have to say. Good luck to all!

Betty Ann

Iris - posted on 12/26/2009

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you have to make a committment for me time monthly where you plan time for yourself like its an appointment and you cannot cancel no matter what. if u don't u will always have an excuse not to find enough time for ur self and something will always get in the way. you have to keep ur sanity.
i plan time for myself every month so i can breath and i commit to it, like i commit to my family and work and i do not feel guilty and i have more energy. Try it.

Nana - posted on 04/13/2011

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Once a week, after the kids go to sleep at 7:30 pm, my husband plays hockey. Once a week, I go see my girlfriends/practice piano or go for a run/yoga. Once a week, we have date night in - just 2 of us with some tea and conversation with no tv, laptops or blackberries.

Tanaya - posted on 06/10/2010

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it depends on the age of the child because if you have a child between the ages of 0 to 3 years old the only time that you could think about some quiet time is when they are away for the day or if they are sleeping which depends on their day might not be no longer than 30 minutes to an hour. but if they are older and you can find something worth while for them to do then you got your me time. i tend to take advantage of my personal me time when my son goes to bed at night, this is the time when i pour me some wine of my choice, turn on some magic 102, and run me some nice hot bath water.

Danita - posted on 03/05/2010

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Hey Terry,



My favorite is " the house has to go to sleep" meaning when I put the kids down my husband is either asleep as well or into the TV I run me a hot bubble bath get some candles ( aroma therapy ones are the best) soft music shut and maybe even a glass of wine or something. Another idea is depending on where you live start a group on line mommy time and atleast once a month every one meet out for somthing fun " manicures then dinner or something like that. Hope one of those work for you

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Adrienne - posted on 04/12/2011

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My mom told me that once you start having kids, 'me' time is put on hold for after bedtime, or when your spouse takes them for a few hours. Once they're in school it becomes easier to find 'me' time (unless you're homeschooling). I get my me time when my son is napping. Its an hour and a half that I eat my lunch, watch tv, read a book, nap etc. Somedays I just eat lunch and do chores that can't be done with a 2 yr old running around, but I try and have at least 2 days where lunchtime is mommy time.

Ehvah - posted on 06/10/2010

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" ME TIME" it's a longtime dream for me.. since i have a child... there's no ME TIME.. 24 hours for me is THEIR TIME! but no regret... it makes my life with sense!

Christina - posted on 06/03/2010

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I get "me time" after my son falls asleep or when Im driving to work. From time i get home from work till time I put him down he is the biggest mama's boy in the world. There is nowhere in the house that I can go that he wont follow. I wish there was more time for me but i enjoying taking care of my lil man

[deleted account]

For my me time; I go to the gym...it helps to relieve my stress and I love the steam room; plus its helping me get back into shape.

Meagan - posted on 06/03/2010

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I go to sleep when my kids do so that I can get up at 5am to exercise. The quiet in my house at that time is so peaceful. I can really enjoy the ONE time during the day when absolutely no one needs me. I get on the treadmill (since the baby may wake to eat) or do a work out video so I am killing two birds with one stone~taking time for myself and taking time to do something good for me as well. I've tried all sorts of other things, and all of them made me feel guilty about taking more time away from my family for myself. I felt very selfish. This seems to empower me and keep me sane at the same time.

Alicia - posted on 05/30/2010

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I really don't get "me time" me time consists of me sending my girls outside and play for I can actually have 1/2 a hour without screaming or fighting. I am a single mom so also a sitter is expensive. But I do get to go out once in awhile. But the entire time I am thinking about my kids and feeling guilty. But I also know that I have to let myself have this time once in awhile.

Rose - posted on 05/30/2010

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Oh the elusive "me time"! I have four month old twins, and 12 & 15 year old boys...not to mention a husband. Me time is few and far between. I think my largest chunk of "me" time happens on the way back and forth to work. 30 minutes each way of brainless time. I can think about everything or nothing. I also joined a tennis league which we play once a week. My husband and I also go on "date night" once every one-two weeks.

Danielle - posted on 05/29/2010

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I am also a working mom and I was going to online school. I was harder then I thought it would be but I had to learn to really allow other family members take the kids and not be afraid to ask for thier help. I also enjoyed hair appointments and taking them to the beach when i couldnt find a baby sitter. Because my 5 year old would be at the park there and my 1 year old would be in a daze in his stroller. It is like haven.

Yasmine - posted on 05/28/2010

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i had no me time even in the bathroom when my daughter used to open the door and come to ask me something :)lol now i set more rules

Yasmine - posted on 05/28/2010

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you must find at least 2 hrs during the week for a certain activity like (sport/running/dancing classes/Aerobics(

Tamara - posted on 05/28/2010

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I'm a single mom, so i am both mommy and daddy, i work full time from 8-5, then school from 6-8pm. Weekends are spend just with my son, but in order to get my me time, i wake an hour earlier then what i'm supposed to and i have my quiet time, i'll read and i'll just relax, no noise, no one up but me. It's pretty relaxing and if i didn't have that, i think i would've gone insane by now, lol.

Shawna - posted on 05/28/2010

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i completely understand, the only time i found me time is at work! haha dont get me wrong i love my son, but we do need our own time too!

Natasha - posted on 05/27/2010

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what is "me time" lol. It's so crazy with two little ones, working full time, cleaning and organizing the house. It's just crazy. So every now and then i tell my husband he has to watch the kids then me and my girlfriends go have brunch or something. so try and just schedule a day or time and tell hubby to watch kids for couple of hours.

Dorothy - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a real hardctime finding me time. By the time I get home from work get kids in bed it time for my bedtime. Just all over the next day

Staci - posted on 05/22/2010

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It's nice to hear everyone shares similar woes about lack of time. It's manageable with one kid, but when I had my second, my "me time" has become very limited. I've learned to enjoy a few moments here and there, like on my lunch break, nap times, after they go to bed, and extra minutes in the bathroom. I am hoping I can return to doing the activities I enjoyed before kids, like art and shopping, when they're older and can join me. But I still feel guilty to take "me time" when I haven't spent quality time with my kids or husband after a long day/week at work. It's a struggle that I hope to get more comfortable managing and don't stress about.

Rose - posted on 05/20/2010

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I walk for an hour by myself outside, just me and my music. It helps to keep me fit and a clear mind.

Rose:)

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I sometimes have "me time"....lol I work full time in a customer service call center (a very stressful job) and the minute I get home I walk into my mommy job. I try to spend some time with husband and kids prior to starting any housework or laundry. Then, my husband or I will cook, depending on the night. Wednesday’s are usually church night so I don’t get any “me” time on those days. My kids don’t have too many activities so it’s not too bad. My 16 yr old son works the sound and lighting at the church and my 13 yr old daughter helps with children in church. My 19 yr old daughter recently came home from college for the summer, and she understands about “me” time and she helps out around the house with cleaning, laundry and some cooking so I can sit and relax in the evenings after work. I can sometimes sit and read in the living room without a lot of interruptions. Sometimes, I scrapbook or work on a project I need to get done. I sorta dread this fall when my 13 yr old daughter starts softball, it will certain mean a shift in “me” time! My only ‘me” time may just be in the bathroom! Lol

Renee - posted on 05/19/2010

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I find the only way to find "me time" is to create it. There will always be a million things to do. We need to make a commitment to ourselves and then make it happen.

Amy - posted on 05/18/2010

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It seems most people do what I do or similar anyway. I have one day a month where I go on an adventure. For instance last month I went with my photographer friend to a place called Rosemary Beach and took some great shoots of their wonderful town square, beach, and of course my friend. The month before a close friend of mine went to visit a friend who was a state away (which is defiantly a plus when we live in Florida and they in Washington) she didn't want to go alone so I went with her, the friend ditched but determined to have a good time we went to all the old bitty shops and found things to bring home to our loved ones. Just one day out of a whole month can make all the difference but taking long showers and falling asleep to a movie at night is defiantly still a very applicable way to get some me time in when feel totally crazy

Katie - posted on 05/15/2010

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I haven't went back to work just yet, but I have made plans that while my daughter is in daycare for the last hour before they close i am going to either go to gym and workout or tan or even go get nails done, since I get off at 5pm and the daycare closes at 6:30 and I am close to gym/tanning/nail salon, but you have to make time, find a friend or family member that can help for a fews hours a day or a whole day once or twice a month, and plan mommy dates, I have a friend with a child and once a month we have the husband get together and then we go out for dinner and a drink, thenwe come home refreshed, so good luck!! just keep at it and you will find ways to put in me time just like you learned to work and take care of kids.

Waseema - posted on 05/13/2010

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i honestly dont have any me time i just wish i could do things for me everything is with and for my famly.i am happy for you though

Waseema - posted on 05/12/2010

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i have no me time as i work 8-5 sumtimes longer hours,then i have to see to my kidz by the time i get to bed its no earlier than 11.00pm i wish weekends could be longer i have 2 kids and they are very young still but i must say its hard to be a working and doing extra murals with the kidz.

Moriah - posted on 05/07/2010

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Right after I get off work I sit in my car for a little bit and listen to the radio trying to forget about work and the day I had so I dont take my frustration out on my kids and husband. It helps me get a few mins by myself. Then I go inside and see my 2 kids and get a greeting kiss from my husband and the day is forgotten and instead of being in manager mode I'm in mommy mode.

Sarah - posted on 05/07/2010

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I am a working mom with 2 kids life is very hectic, between work, housework, running around for clubs etc but I incorporate my me time at the gym, which is great, I plug myself into my MP3 player and lose my self in music..... I've a great hubby who works long hours, but also is a modern hands on Dad (most of the time). He's also recently joined the gym as well. and we occassionally go together as well. Extended family is also important because they are our babysitters.

Jemima - posted on 05/06/2010

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that's something i've been working on myself - i too find the shower a good time to 'think' or relax! whichever takes priority at the time! I think its important to find some time each day/week to do something you enjoy.

Shaulundra - posted on 05/06/2010

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For me, I schedule a monthly mommies night out with a couple of friends that are also single mommies. A couple of months we went out twice during the month or took our children on a field trip somewhere that also allowed us to have that me time as well. For me being able to go to the movies or our to dinner for a couple of hours is so worth it. Recently, I have started going to the gym two-three times a week and have been using that as my me time and I really love it.

Naomi - posted on 05/05/2010

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i am the same all i seem to do is work and clean i never get any tim to my self and never get to the fun stuff with my baby it gets me down but i cant afford not to work

Malinda - posted on 05/04/2010

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once a week my partner watches the kids for a few hours on a sunday so i can go out to bingo with my mum i find its a good time to just sit and relax with the chance of winning too :) i use to say to my mum why would you need a break from your kids but now with 2 under 2 i totally understand

Joanne - posted on 05/04/2010

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Like others I force myself to think what is my goal - and try to give myself at least 20 minutes per day on this. Right now my goal is to loose my baby weight so I am trying to find 20 minutes every morning to exercise, its not always easy but I feel so much better about myself if I manage to do this.

Dawn - posted on 04/30/2010

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I read a few before I posted and than read a little more. Im shocked that so many people have time to do even half the stuff they do and even choose to do some of the things they do rather than spending time with there children. I have three children 2 which can fend for themselves. And my 4 month old is also very independent already. I still dont get very much "me" time. But some of the stuff people say they do daily to relax after working makes me wonder who is raising there children. I understand "me" time is important but some people over do it.

Dawn - posted on 04/30/2010

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Being a working single mother of 3 wonderful girls I dont even know what "me" time is. I would say at work but I work with a bunch of men who act like my children so not there either. LOL But I guess when my 2 oldest both stay at a friends house at the same time and the baby goes to bed sometimes like tonight I get on here and read peoples post and post a few of my own.

Susan - posted on 04/30/2010

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i hear ya stephanie...have 3 boys and FINALLY trying to do some me stuff. IT is hard but now am playing guitar and also taking tae kwon do. we just have to separate our time. even if you can take a 30 minute bath for yourself, that can really help out alot.

Julie - posted on 04/28/2010

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Love it... Do you have any IDeas for a Single Commuter mom... I have to be at work at 5Am and I live an hour away from work. so the getting up early thing is not working for me. Neither is the stay up late either. ... Hmmm..... Maybe weekends?

Jennifer - posted on 04/28/2010

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I get up at 4:30 - 5:00 am every day. This is the only available time left in our calendar!

Erma - posted on 04/27/2010

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My "Me-time" is just getting in my car on a day off of work and taking a drive in the country, listening to my music without having our teens whine at me for listening to what they call, 'gross music". I take time for visiting friends I never get a chance to see anymore.
I must say this to all the mom's out there that life gets easier & we eventually find ourselves again when our kids become more independent & wanna just hang with their friends & not so much their parents. I know I, myself as well as my hubby are really starting to enjoy it! :-)

Karen - posted on 04/25/2010

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Being a mother of five it was hard for me to find time!!! I started getting up at 5;00am for two hrs of quiet time.I'd drink my coffee,watch the news,pray,think and enjoy 2hrs of uninterrupted QUIET! 7;00am is when the madness starts and I'm ready for it with a smile.By 8;30 everyone's gone and I can start my day.During spring and summer I would sit out back feed the birds ( who would be waiting for me.)Sip my coffee, look up into the clouds, speak to my higher power,focus on my goals,write a to do list for the day,plan my meals and activities for the day!I'd take in the fresh morning dew,do a couple of bends and stretches (just a few ) lol then I'm ready for whatever comes.The screams,the yells '"mom so and so is taking too long in the bathroom!"" I can't find my homework," This shirt don't look right, Mom can you iron this?It became music to my ears!! By then I'm ready for whatever comes with a smile.Children are grown now.Only 16yr old is home.I still get up at 5;00 for me time and the birds still wait for me.

Tawnya - posted on 04/24/2010

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I enjoy "ME Time" after my one year old goes to bed. He goes to bed around 7:30 pm, and I sit with a glass of wine and watch tivo. Another thing I like to do is get a pedi and a mani now and then, I love it, I really feel sexy afterwords even if only for an hour or two.



My husband and I try to keep the spark by going to our favorite resturant or a movie in the middle of the week on his day off and my half day, without the "little swamppers".



I get no privacy in the "loo" We have one bathroom and yeah we have one bathroom.

Eileen - posted on 04/23/2010

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Between working partime, taking my daugther to school, making lunch working on my website (http://www.eileenaart.com) and making my art pieces,; MY "ME TIME" is at 9 pm when quietness invade my home then I take a hot bath ,read a bokk or look at a magazine or maybe wonder of desing ideas in my idea book.ahhhh! I LOVE IT!

Eileen - posted on 04/23/2010

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Between going to work, taking my daughter to school ,coming from work, making luch for my familly, woking on my website(http://www.eileenaart.com) or designing my new pieces of art Ihave My "Me time" at 9pm, when everything is quiet in my house; I take a hot bath, read a book or look at a magazine, draw some sketches or design new ideas in my idea book and also listen to my favorite music. ahhhhh! Love It!

Rose - posted on 04/19/2010

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Put the kids to bed before 9pm. I lie them down at 8pm so that they are sleeping by 9pm. Then I can surf the net, take along bath, read, watch TV, talk on the phone, do my nails, or whatever else I choose to do. It's all about me.

Molly - posted on 04/19/2010

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I think I'll find true "me time"....ummmm, when they leave for college?? LOL Seriously, I think the key is to adjust our perception of what "me time" is actually realistic. I have a two boys ages 2 and 4...work, travel and can't afford a housekeeper. My me time is limited to an hour before bed, my commute into work and a few blissful, fading afternoon naps on the weekend - which most often are used to tidy up, finish yard work, shop vac the aging apple slices from underneath the car seats. I go through a few pity party episodes, looking back on my pre-kid life of leisure, on-time appts. and lazy, unrushed days of shopping for myself but am very happy to say that my me time is now "our time" and that simply is what it is....and keep telling myself that when I finally have real "me time" I'll miss "our time".

Renee - posted on 04/18/2010

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"Me time" is so important. It took me a long time to figure this out but I now make it a priority. I find it so much easier to give to my family when I have given to myself first. It can mean different things depending on the day... working out, reading, spending time with friends, taking a long bath, journaling,...

Crystal - posted on 04/18/2010

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When I need "Me" Time I tag my husband for a break if the baby is awake. I try to just lay down for a quick 15 min refresher or maybe just sit down and relax. If it's after bed time I try to make time for me so that I can be the best "sanity wise" for my son! I go for a walk around the block or I just hang out with my husband. Sometimes after Kal has gone to be that is the only down time my husband and I have so we try to take advantage and just catch up together.

Christa - posted on 04/18/2010

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I have a hard time figuring out how to find me time. Let me know when you figure that out! Right now my me time is reading intersting posts from other moms on Facebook. :)

[deleted account]

I manage to squeeze in several "me" times throughout the day:



5:45am-6:30am while my teenager is in early morning seminary (we're LDS) I can walk with the other moms, read, sleep, journal, etc...

8:00am-9:00am while commuting to work I listen to audio tapes I checkout from the library. it's relaxing and I don't stress about the traffic.

5:00p-6:00p same while commuting home "....

9:30p-10:30p after kids go to bed I read, get on Facebook, etc...



Be sure to involves your kids in the daily chores too. You don't have to do it all yourself, and it will eleviate the daily burdens that you feel.

DAWN - posted on 04/15/2010

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I manage to go home at my lunch break --( I have an hour and I luckily live only minutes away from my work....)---and if it is not raining outside---I will take my dog on a walk!

This give me time to think & relax, and DE-STRESS!!!

Denise - posted on 04/15/2010

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when you are a mom 'me time" is harder than people think but sometimes you need to get out with no kids with a girlfriend or a couple of friends...you feel great when you get back....also you find it's easier getting that time when kids are in school....

Kimberly - posted on 04/14/2010

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wow me time....It's been awhile. I just had another baby and I have a 3 yr old son. The shower is the best place to think and clear my thoughts. Sometimes just driving to the grocery store or somewhere is relaxing.

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