Why do SAHM's say that working moms are bad moms?

Elizabeth - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 604 moms have responded )

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I am just curious. I get on Yahoo answers a lot, and there are some rude moms on that website. At one time I read that a SAHM said that working moms are bad parents. And in not so many words one of my friends told me pretty much the same thing to my face. The nerve of some people!

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Barbara - posted on 01/12/2012

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I think people ought to let people live the life they choose (or need to live). I have been blessed to find an amazing company that allows me to work from home and make a very good living. I love that what I do is help people go green while living healthier lives and save them time and money doing it! Good luck and keep your chin up! If you're interested in what I'm doing, drop me a line (or comment) I'd love to let you know!

Caitriona - posted on 01/12/2012

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Think it's a case of different strokes for different folks. My motto is: happy Mom, happy kids. So whatever makes you happy, do it cos ultimately it will affect your kids.

Alicia - posted on 01/10/2012

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I am at stay at home mom and i think nothing wrong of mothers who decide to work. I don't have the option of having family members to take care of my kids for me, or anything of that sort.......and if i were to work....having 3 kids would cause my paycheck to go to sitters/daycare. My husband is the one who works, and we are getting by on a budget. If you want to work....that is great for you and that's your decision. You are doing what you feel is best for you and your family. :)

Vicky - posted on 01/10/2012

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I wish I knew the answer to that--everyone does what they feel is best for their family and every famiy's situation is different. For Mom's to judge each other without knowing the full situation when we are all just trying to do the best that we can is ridiculous.

Sherrine - posted on 01/10/2012

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I'm a SAHM and I applaud you working mothers. The courage and strength alone it takes to get up every mornin and leave ur babies, I wld definitely be crying everyday, lol... But I by no means think working moms are bad mothers, who am I or anyone else to judge a mother. I personally love being home all day with the kids and taking care of my family I honestly wldnt want to go back to work any time soon but that's just me. If you're comfortable being a working mom, then who cares what anybody has to say about it. Tell them to kick rocks

Robyn - posted on 01/09/2012

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I think a lot of moms feel that they love their kids more because they spend 24 hours a day with them. And if they are able to do that then they are certainly blessed with the opportunity. I am just about to start a part time job in one day and it's killing me. I'm feeling so guilty because I love my baby SO MUCH and would love to be here for her all the time. The reality is that for many of us we are not financially able to stay home and therefore we have to work to provide the best we can for our kids. I think some moms who say they are better for staying home are not putting themselves in other moms shoes or considering the wide variety of differences there are in people's lives. We all wish we were blessed with more money and more time. If you are, fantastic. If you aren't, then you are doing the best you can. That's my opinion :)

[deleted account]

I am a SAHM. I do have a job outside the home but my kids go with me and its only an hour a week. So I still see me as a fulltime Mom without a job.



I have a HUGE respect for the Moms who work and take care of their children. I do not see you as wrong for working or bad Moms. I personally do not like daycares and don't trust them. I do not like or agree with public schools. Every mom has a hard job and thats being a mom. We each have to choose which way is the best for our family. I have family who ask me all the time how I can stand to stay at home with my kids. My MIL says I have the patients of a saint in order to deal with my children 24/7. (She was a working/party Mom. Welcome to the 60's & 70's) I don't know if there is a perfect way to be a Mom but there is a perfect way for being the Moms for our families!

Kylee - posted on 01/08/2012

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I do not think that working mothers are bad at all. They are doing what they have to do.
I am a stay at home mom to twin 5 yr old boys and a 10 month old boy. I used to work and even tried working part time for awhile when the twins were younger. I did not like being apart from them when I was at work and I did not want to pay for daycare so I quit and became a full time stay at home mom. I enjoy being a stay at home mom. My kids are young and they grow up soooo fast I am glad that I have been able to be here all the time. I may go back to work someday when they all are in school full time. But until then I will enjoy my little boys.
I do not agree tho how some women do not work and still pay a nanny or sitter to watch their kids so they can play with their friends or get their nails done. Thats bad parenting.
We do not make a lot of money but we get by fine with what we have. We are a happy family and I am very blessed.

Kerstin - posted on 01/08/2012

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I think anyone making generalizations and assumptions about another persons life choices is ignorant and should be ignored. I know moms who are SAHMs who SHOULD be at work, because they hate being at home with little kids all day. I know working moms who HAVE overdone it and hardly see their kids, and not just because they HAVE to work, but so they can afford fancy cars and clothes. It that scenario I think "Why bother having kids just so someone else can raise them?" (remember, Im talking about a workaholic who is home maybe an hour a day with her kids, and works Saturday, too). But I know other moms who are better moms BECAUSE they go to work and get to come home and enjoy their kids. Then there are moms like mine who would have loved to stay home, but she had to work because of money needs.
I know I'm blessed to be able to stay home with my kids, and I don't think it makes me a better mom by default. My husband has a good paying job, and we sacrifice things like fancy vacations, new cars, name brands, spa pampering so that I can stay home until the youngest is in kindergarten. I used to work part time, which was the perfect balance for me, but the part time teaching gigs in CA have dried up, so I try to get my breaks from being a mom in other way. But there is no one "right" way to be a mom. It depends on the situation and personalities of the people involved!

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2012

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I think its terrible how people treat mothers in general. Its a no win situation! If you are a stay-at-home mom, you are considered to be lazy and unmotivated and if you are a working mother, people tell you that you are not a good mother and don't spend enough time with your children. This is one reason why our society is so dysfunctional! Ideally what we are supposed to be is a community. In a community, people support each other and help each other out. How are we expected to raise children in our society well if we can't support and help each other out regardless if whether or not you are a stay-at-home mom or working mother? What I do is I don't associate myself much with people that are too judgemental of me! I surround myself with people that will be supportive of me no matter what my choices in life are and I encourage and support them as well! NO ROOM IN MY LIFE FOR NEGATIVITY!

De Ann - posted on 01/06/2012

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Amy, I am in your boat with my husband being home but I'd much rather be working than at home and as long as the bills get paid, it doesn't matter. I commend you girl!

Debby - posted on 01/06/2012

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I'm a stay at home mom and I have walked a day in a working moms shoes! I don't think any parent who HAS to work to pay bills is a bad mother at all! That makes you an amazing mother! It's hard! You get up, take your kids where ever they need to go, work 8+ hours a day, and then come home to do your duties at night! That's not a small thing at all! My husband is Military and I really need to be here for my son. Having one parent gone all the time is hard enough on him! I'm def not jealous of working mothers either! I'm very blessed to be able to stay home. It's a choice I've made. I could go to work if I wanted but I choose to stay home. Everyone's situation is different...you do the best you can to take care of your children they way YOU need to. I wouldn't let it bother you. Supporting your children is being a WONDERFUL mother no matter how you have to go about it!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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I'm just worried my husband will throw my underwear in the dryer. Or my sweaters. I have certain things that I hang up and some things i hand wash

Maree - posted on 01/02/2012

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Oh god yeah...no one comes between me and my washing...as much as i dislike doing it,i do NOT want everything turning blue !!! or some other colour thats been mixed in.. lol

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Kel my first daughter was so easy! She slept on her own after 4 months (possibly because of the 3 days she spent in the hospital because of kidney reflux) Napped, amused herself, held her own bottle! Perfect!

My 2nd daughter has been difficult since the 2nd month I was pregnant with her and my thyroid acted up. I got dehydrated and landed in the hospital with her. I had to go on maternity leave early because my blood pressure was so high. Then of course the labour and delivery which I've typed about a few times. She loves to nurse and won't take a binkie. She also doesn't nap for more than 45 minutes and doesn't want to sleep. I'm hoping it will change after all her teeth come in.

I ask my husband what we need to do with the money because right now money is tight for us. The cost of living where we do in BC is very high and we use my child support for groceries and some bills. I ask just in case we need the money. I know that will change when he gets a job working for a video game company. But for right now we have to budget. And just so everyone knows, he asks me if he can use some of my child support money for bills when we've used some of his disability money on other things we needed. He's also getting a part time job while he works on getting hired and I hope I don't make my husband sound bossy, overbearing or lazy because he's not. He stays up with our daughter all night so i can sleep.

I'm torn between wanting to go back to work and make my own money and help out financially and enjoying the fact that I have my own time to do things except when my older daughter needs to get to school or get picked up from school or the various things that my baby needs. I'd probably like being a SAHM more if I wasn't so controlling over how the laundry needs to be done.

Maree - posted on 01/02/2012

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Megan...my little one was a difficult newborn with bad reflux. Now she is making up for giving me Hell. She sleeps all night (since 6 months),has two good naps a day,i don't even recall the last time she cried or fussed. I go to playgroup,shopping,out to lunch...basically wherever i want but try to make things fun for her too,i don't have her sitting in the pram for hours on end or anything like that.

I've never asked my husband for money. I use the bank card and buy what i want,he does the same. We don't have to be too careful with money and pretty much own our home. I love my life so much. Of course i don't have the freedom i had before she was born (9 months ago),i had a 10 year age gap between kids,but what i wanted was a baby,i was sick of freedom,i was bored and very clingy with my son because i was with him all the time and single for 8 years.He was my whole life. I so badly wanted a baby and it is everything i expected and more...
Oh god i sound like a loon don't i !!!!!

Anyway,i realize it is very hard for many women to stay home for lots of reasons and i myself have worked, i worked till i was 6 months pregnant with my second child so i kind of have a little experience with most things...being a single mum,being married,having no money,having plenty of money,having awful babies,good babies,being a bio mum,a step mum,having a rotten time with breast feeding,now having an easy time...i totally get where most of the people posting are coming from.

When i was struggling with my bub,someone on facebook commented about having a relaxing weekend with her baby. I commented on how exactly you RELAX with a baby and she said "maybe it's just the way i'm raising her".. I couldn't believe she said that, as if i was raising my baby to be a pain in the ass or something..bloody bitch !!!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Kel if you have freedom with a baby I want to know what you're giving that baby :) Because I want freedom too.

I enjoyed being a working mom and having the freedom of making my own money and not asking my husband if it was ok to do such and such with the money we share. I liked being able to use my bank card and treating my husband and my daughter to something. I look forward to doing that again. I'm not even my own boss as a SAHM because my 9 month old decides when to eat and sleep

Maree - posted on 01/02/2012

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I would hate to be a working mum...i think it would be so hard going to work then coming home and having to do everything there. I love being with my daughter and son and i love that my husband supports myself,our daughter and my son. I appreciate the hard work he does and makes sure we have everything we want and need.

We don't have heaps of money but we get by ok and i feel very lucky,i don't think i'd cope very well if i had to work outside the home...i love my freedom too much...well the kind of freedom you have with a baby which i guess isn't that much is it !!! ...but i love it anyway.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Honestly I believe both SAHMs and working moms do a lot. I couldn't tell you which one is harder because even though I've done both they're very different.

There was a report shown on CBC a few weeks ago that says that Working moms are healthier and happier than SAHMs. But I still believe that is a matter of personal opinion.

Furthermore I believe you shouldn't judge until you've walked in someone else's shoes. Understanding where someone comes from also helps you to get where the other mom is coming from. Should you have a question about why someone feels that way you should probably ask them. However some people don't take the time to do that.

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2012

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consider your wording bla bla. How about consider your reading perception. This is annoying. Some mom's are so devoted to these forums. . .anyways this is how your name appears when i get the annoying updates to my email. ♥♪Megan♫♥ , thank you. Talk to someone else now.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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I never said I was correcting anyone (except for the name thing because I'm sure you can see there is no 'A' at the end of my name). But since your post was misunderstood maybe you should consider your wording.

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2012

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LOL, okay? It's a Forum not a classroom. You don't have to try and correct everyone here. I'm pretty sure were all adults

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Stephanie it's MEGAN and if you didn't take the time to read my post or even care what I said then why bother replying?

I don't have time to read through all your previous posts, but in the one directed at Kel you didn't seem like you understood that not all SAHMs are SAHMs because they can afford it. Perhaps you should consider your wording when posting?

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2012

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Megan,

Well I actually wasn't making it a point to say SAHM think and or live a certain way. I was speakin to Kel. And how she was making working moms sound. I did not read your post at all really. If you read my previous post on here I actually stated how both moms need to be respected on their efforts as mothers. That both are hard. In my own situation I wk from home part time as well as work out of the house. I have the best of both worlds. My partner watches the kids when I am out of the house. So trust me I know about cutting corners or making it work for each and every family. SO yeah idk. . w/e i really dont care that much

Nelly - posted on 01/02/2012

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I think that women are very tough on each other we should all b supportive of our decisions and not feel that we have 2 justify them ive been a sahm 4 17yrs and i still have people telling me that its time 4 me 2 go back 2 work and that my children dont need me at home anymore

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Thanks Kel. Sometimes the internet doesn't help how things are supposed to come out.

Maree - posted on 01/02/2012

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megan i am not disagreeing with you.i do not work now but worked part time after my other child.
I was simply saying how comments MAY come across to others.I guess like my comment came across...not how i meant it.
I have heard lots of comments by my family members that are unfair to working mums, i think they are untrue and are said out of jealousy somewhat...thats my take on it anyway as i have a sister who is a very jealous person.
Sorry megan if i offended you,just wanted to clarify that i was not disagreeing at all...

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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Kel, I'm a SAHM right now and it doesn't come across as selfish to me because I know what they mean. Most SAHMs thankfully know that being a SAHM isn't for everyone and don't consider working moms selfish because they know it's not for everyone. A working mom doesn't seem selfish to me she seems lucky.

Heck in my opinion being a SAHM is harder because your work never gets done and you don't get paid holidays. If your home is a mess you don't work hard enough. If your laying on the couch because you have a head ache you're lazy. And some husbands (thankfully not mine or he'd be dead) don't feel that they should help if their wife is a SAHM which is bull shit.

Stephanie, some families make sacrifices so that a mom can be a SAHM. It doesn't mean that the person is well off all the time. It just means that they've decided to cut corners so that the mom or dad can stay home with the kids. They've budgeted so that they can have a single income and make it work. Just as you don't feel it's fair of Kel to speak for all SAHMs it's also unfair for you to speak for them. I'm a SAHM because I imigrated to Canada from the US to live with my Canadian husband and I have to jump throug hoops to work. We are definitely not well off because I have to go to the food bank to take the edge off the grocery bill and my husband is trying to find a part time job now so he can keep getting his disability pay and work on his demo discs to send out to video game design companies and get hired. After that happens and we can figure out child care I will apply with interior health so I can work in health care in British Columbia.

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2012

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Kel, you sound clueless. Your trying to speak for other SAHM to try and justify what your saying. Idk your living situation. Maybe your apart of a wealthy family or married into a relationship that your partner can provide for you, BUT in the real world. Parents HAVE to work to provide for their families. Food costs money, theres rent to be paid each and every month, electricity, phone, any other bill that needs to get paid. Diapers, wipes, medicine etc. That all cost money.



Not all mom's are in relationships and even if they were not all relationships are supportive. Same with family. Woman who work do it cause its a part of surviving and providing. It is the furthest from selfish. You seem like you'd judge any situation cause you only know your own. Some woman who "technically" may not need to work but choose to do so cause it's called INDEPENDENCE. Some also call it woman impowerment. Why can't we all just support one another. We all do what we think is the best for our children, given the situations we are in. You sound bitter like you wish you could get out of the house for a bit of alone time. I work and I love getting out even for only a couple of hours to work. Not only do I make my own money but I get to focus on myself. All woman need alone time, in the long run it pays off. were not all robots.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/02/2012

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I heard on Canadian TV Laura that Working moms are better moms because they don't have as much stress and get out of the house. I wish I knew that because I have just as much stress as a SAHM mom as I did when I worked as a care aide.

Laura - posted on 01/02/2012

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I have a one year old daughter, and work full-time as a teacher. I would love to go part-time but can't afford to at the moment. I have also read before that working mothers are bad mothers, and was so offended I wrote a letter of complaint to the magazine it was in. Myself and my fiance see ourselves as good parents, who strive to make sure our daughter is very happy ... which she is!! She loves her childminder, and gets very excited when we get there in the morning :) I miss her terribly through the day, but knowing how happy she is makes it slightly easier. I have complete respect for SAHMs, and wish I could be at home more, but due to personal circumstances I have to work :S

Maree - posted on 01/01/2012

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not meaning to be insulting ,i am just saying that the way some women say it,it comes across that way to SAHM's

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/01/2012

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Kel that's a bit insulting to me because I know I'm not selfish and I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. I just don't have a choice right now.



The part with children and separation anxiety is the reason why the US should impliment longer maternity leave like other countries have. In Canada moms are allowed nearly a year off if they and their spouse wish to take it.



I've done both jobs and this may sound 'selfish' to a devoted SAHM but I am not cut out to be a SAHM. I need to be out of the house a few times a week to regain my sanity. I'm a care aide and I have worked in hospice so I know I am definately not selfish.

Klara - posted on 01/01/2012

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Ya know, people who only see one way to do anything are very close minded. I have a lot of respect for both moms who work and SAHMs. Both jobs are tough! For some it is a choice to stay at home, for others it is a choice to work, and then there are the in-betweens-moms that don't have a lot of choice one way or the other. It is very easy to be judgemental until you have been in someone else's shoes. I am a nurse. I choose to not only have a family, but help others as well. If that is selfish and makes me a bad mom, then I hope they consider that next time a nurse takes care of them or their child at the clinic or hospital!

Maree - posted on 12/29/2011

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I think some people say and think working mums are selfish because some of them say that they are just not "that type of person" (to be a SAHM that is).
It can come across as very selfish because maybe the little baby that is in daycare 5 days a week is "not that kind of baby" (that wants to be in daycare) but it's too bad because that's what mum wants.

I know most women don't work for selfish reasons but it can definately come across like that. Sometimes it sounds very bad when they say that they are soooo bored and NEED more in their life,that kids are not enough and they would go crazy being at home. That's fine if you feel that way but to a devoted SAHM it would sometimes come across like the working mum is thinking of herself and doesn't care that her baby is forced into being raised but strangers because the mum is bored...

i think with this topic and many others,it may be better to keep opinions to yourself if you don't want to be judged....on a debating forum,that's fine but in real life people will take what you say as a personal attack. I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me and will say as i please but i am aware that i may be causing offense...oh well !!!

Tracie - posted on 12/27/2011

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I know a ton of SAHMs (some very wealthy, others pinching pennies) and I promise you, none of them feel this way. Women who say that in this day and age are quickly disappearing. Working at home for your family is hard. Working outside the home for someone else is hard. No one has it easy. I think the majority of moms realize this truth. We're all in this together!

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2011

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I have said it before and I will say it again because I think it bears repeating and because I feel that we should all try to get along with each other and not be disrespectful of each other: I am a stay at home mom, I am not privilaged, we do not have loads of money (in fact, it is entirely the opposite), and I am not ignorant. In fact, I just finished my master's degree and my hubby is in the AF (the pay isn't as great as the media makes it seem, especially not for enlisted members). I chose to stay home because that is what I thought was best for me and my family and I wanted to obtain my degree so that I could home school my children (my degree is in online teaching). I also chose to stay home because of my husbands job. He is gone a lot because of the military, he deploys a lot (both over-seas and in the states) and he works very long hours when he's not deployed. It's hard enough on our kids when he's not around, I don't want to make it even harder on them by me not being around as well. Finances were also an issue, in the beginning for us, it was either put the kids in daycare and me go to work with all of my paycheck going to daycare (before I finished my degree) or stay home with them (even with my degree, I wouldn't take home very much pay with two kids in daycare and now that one is old enough I would want him in private school and that's not financially possible). I chose to stay home. I do not feel that moms that work are bad parents and I do not feel that they don't care about their children as much as SAHM's do. I think that for most people it is a choice and some prefer to work and some prefer to stay home, I don't think there is anything wrong with this. And I know that some have to work even though they wish they could stay home and I am sorry that you don't have that choice. We have forgone many things for me to stay home but we made it work because that is what my husband and I felt was best for our kids. It's a personal choice (for most) and I don't think either is right or wrong.

I do realize just how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my kids. I try not to take it forgranted at all and like I said before I feel for mom's who want to stay home with their kids but can't. I really wish that everyone had the ability to do what it is that they want to do as far as raising their children, whether that be stay home with them or work. I know I love to stay home with my kids but I also know that some mothers prefer to work and are better mothers when they do and in my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I also hope that those mothers that want to stay home but can't do not resent SAHM's because of their situation. :)

We need to all respect eachother and encourage eachother as much as possible. Being a mother is hard enough as it is, none of us need all of the drama and criticism. :)

Info - posted on 12/20/2011

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I think anyone talking negatively about working moms just doesn't understand. I take absolutely no offense to this stuff, mostly because I don't have time to think! But I have compassion today (there was a time I got really irritated) because I truly believe they just don't get it...

Melissa - posted on 12/19/2011

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Maybe I came off wrong Im a stay at home now mom but someday soon I will join the work force again and either way its your own choice, onone is ever a bad mom, unless you make yourself just that, If you can make ends meet it shouldnt matter to anyone else if you work at home or out in the field but either way with young childern its always a full time job!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miri - posted on 12/18/2011

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I grew up with a breadwinning mother. I don't know what is best for each family but I am so grateful that I get to be home with my first baby of four months. I didn't grow up knowing how to be proud of being a SAHM. I wish I knew what that felt like. I feel regardless guilty for working or not. Maybe we should commend each and all mommy trying their best.

Nicole - posted on 12/15/2011

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i am a SAHM and i feel truley blessed that our finanical situation allows me to stay at home full time with our son. however this is not the case with some people and i take my hat off to working mums! and its all about quality not quantity- my hubby works away and i have been attacked because of this other dads will come home at 5 sit down eat tea then kids in bed at 7 so where is there time spend?? my husband stays home for 10 days and we are able to do things as a family all the tiem. same goes for SAHM and working mums- you could stay at home with your child and be around them all the time without actually "spending time" with them. working mums, SAHM doesnt matter, you know whats best for your family

KRISTY - posted on 12/13/2011

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i think instead of all us mum's having a big cat fight over who is a better parent we should respect each other enough to say we all do a good job working or staying at home i have worked and now I'm a stay at home mum since that is what suits MY family best

Paula - posted on 12/11/2011

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I guess the reaction was normal..when one set don't know how it is to be responsible outside the home to a working environment I guess we see things differently..I know we are not bad parents...exceptions prove the rule..so being judgemental is out as far I see it.

Luvmia - posted on 12/11/2011

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That was very inappropiate for them to say such a thing. If I didn't work, how would I being able to support my kid.

Stephanie - posted on 12/07/2011

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Technically SAHM are working moms cause thats there job. They wake up w/ their kids, feed them have play time/ nap time. playdates/appts/errands. then the reguler housework ontop of that non-stop cleaning, cooking trying to rest during a small nap. By the time night comes your worne out but just can't punch out and get paid for your hard work.

As with working moms its the same deal we wake up get our kids ready wether its child care or family members houe hurry get ready go to work worry aobut your kids while away. Work whatever job your workin punch out go home if your lucky have dinner ready when you get home and help with baths night time routines etc. .

If any mother has the nerve to judge another parent then there naive.

Im pretty much both I wk at home and i work at a salon. If I have a slow week at work then im doing stuff at home. But I must say I LOVE working and earning my own money and its always a nice break to get away from the chaos.

There needs to be mutual respect.

Frances - posted on 12/04/2011

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I am interested that many comments refer to staying at home as a luxury...we dont own our home, we have an older car, we dont take holidays, we grow whatever food we can, i buy clothes from the thrift shop unless there is nothing there suitable and then i go to discountstores. I dont buy brand labels or go out for coffee or lunch with the girls. Why not? Because we live on 1 wage as we made the choice to have me stay at home and raise our children. That is my job. Yes it is nice to be told that I am doing a great job by a boss r coworker, but I think it is a much greater reward to be ther parent ofa happy, confident child who has grown into an adult. No, I dont get tioo much recognition for that or for keeping our household running but while mothers look down upon those type of duties and dont regard them as jobs themselves then nothing will ever change. I have no issue with working mums, I was one once, but please working mums, dont make out that we are rich, well off etc as most arent. If mums HAVE to work then that is fine but if you are working to maintain a lifestyle that includes some luxuries that arent really necessities then you do actually have a choice. It is working by choice just like I stay at home by choice....

Dawn - posted on 12/04/2011

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I think SAHM's are lucky in some ways and not so much in others. I would never be able to stay home and not work. I work full time and have a 3 and a 5 yr old. I want them to know that both parents share the responsibilty of taking care of them. We live off an income and a half and barely make it. It takes two to make it these days. I'm grateful to have a secure job with great benefits to take care of my family. There are almost 25% of children that are homeless. Either way, we should be grateful for what we have. Although, the idea of a part-time job does sound nice.

Jen - posted on 12/03/2011

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I just wanted to say that I was a SAHM for a year, not by choice, but because I was on a military base and there weren't enough jobs to go around in such a small town. I loved being a SAHM. Got all the house work done, got time to spend with my little one, went on fun outings, had lunch with the girls, and I babysat during the day at my house. When we got off base and moved back home, my husband became a SAHD until school starts. Now I am working 3 jobs, 1 full-time, 1 part-time, and 1 for a direct sales company. I loved both things but if I could pick one, I would be a SAHM just because I love my little one so much I don't like to be away from her that long. And if I was home, I could teach her more because I have the patients to do it and well... he gets distracted. LOL.

Joy - posted on 11/30/2011

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A word of caution to SAHMs who say this: My mom was a SAHM and told me this when I was a child. I told that to the other children at school whose moms worked. This statement did not help me in middle school -and I also got talked to by several of the teachers for the comment. SAHMs should watch what they say, when they say and who's listening. They probably don't want their children to have the same experiences I did in middle school.

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