Why do SAHM's say that working moms are bad moms?

Kate - posted on 11/30/2011

I don't believe that working mums are bad parents, and I don't believe that SAHMs are lazy or selfish or anything like that. I think it is a very personal choice and what is right for one person might not be right for another. I don't understand why women can be so judgemental about this one. Whether or not a woman chooses to stay at home with her kids is no-one's business but hers and her partners IMO and good on you either way I say.

Jen - posted on 11/26/2011

Hey Elizabeth,
I hear you on that one, and for many of us we don't have a choice but to go back to work. I think it's the age old SAHM vs. working moms and have had the chance to be in both positions they are both hard work! The only people that matter in this situation is your family, and you know that your doing nothing wrong, so remember that!
have a great day,
Jenny

Crystal - posted on 11/23/2011

I did work, and when I did, I tended to put in a lot of hours working because both of us got use to having a good bit of money coming in, and that took me away from my kids more than I liked. There are many times when we talk about me going back to work because we miss having the ability to do as we choose without having to live paycheck to paycheck. I'm having my last child any day now, and I told him I want to stay home the first year if we can afford it. However, times are hard, and that may not be an option for me.
I also love interacting with other adults and feeling the rush of getting rewarded for my hard work that I put in. My jobs have always helped make me happy. An a happy mom is by far a better one.

Tah - posted on 11/21/2011

i wouldn't say that all sahms are privileged enough to be able to do it. Some just really budget the hell out of the money, like grow and can their own food, shop at thrift stores and some are living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes worse so as a mom who works but makes her own schedule, i wouldn't say o well im not priviled enough, so thats the wrong attitude to have as well

KATY - posted on 11/21/2011

Well I dont feel that way at all. I think its both sides equally. Just like a lot of comments of the working ladies on here, saying that oh well we aren't privileged enough or whatever, like its sahm's fault there not. I feel the attitude the same, when we should be sticking together instead of attacking on things that dont matter because we're all moms.

KATY - posted on 11/21/2011

Well I dont feel that way at all. I think its both sides equally. Just like a lot of comments of the working ladies on here, saying that oh well we aren't privileged enough or whatever, like its sahm's fault there not. I feel the attitude the same, when we should be sticking together instead of attacking on things that dont matter because we're all moms.

Katie - posted on 11/18/2011

Working mom's are just as good as sahm's. It all depends on the time you put into your child. I work as a nanny and im a sahm. I really have the best of both worlds right now. There are working mom's that feel that daycare should raise there children, and leave them there too much..but on the other hand there are sahm's that do not educationally/or socially explore with there child.

Sonia - posted on 11/18/2011

WOW the nerve of some people while yes i would love to be a stay at home mom we don't all have that luxury and maybe its jealousy bc as much as i love my family and the time we spend together i recently stayed home for about 6 weeks while i looked for another job after i finished nursing school. i was a stay at home mom and let me tell u i slightly missed work that time with adults and conversations regarding more that toys, "whats that" questions, and diapers. i went back to school to get that happy medium where i could work part time and still be a mom without feeling selfish or being broke lol some people just don't understand and maybe thats why they're so angry that we get to go to work and have some excusable paying, much needed adult time ;)

Nelly - posted on 11/18/2011

I see this post going on for years to come...there is a lot of different points of view. My 2 cents is that once a woman becomes a mom, you are a mom forever and it is in our nature to do whatever is the best for our kids... Every circumstance is different and we should not judge anyone, but support each other in this big adventure that is raising our kids. So on that note, GOOD JOB to all you moms!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/17/2011

I'm only a SAHM now because as a non citizen living in Canada I cannot be hired by any company here in Canada unless they can prove that they have tried to hire a Canadian citizen for the position I'm applying for.

And Anne's right. Yahoo in general is full of trolls and idiots. It's not moderated as far as I can tell so don't bother listening to them.

Anne - posted on 11/17/2011

It's the Internet and "yahoo answers" and you always get a lot of jerks on there. I am SAHM too and if my marriage doesn't work out I'll be working and won't think twice whether I'm a "good mom" or not. Women need to be helping each other's self esteem (don't we have enough enemies!) not the other way around :)

Katherine - posted on 11/14/2011

Thank you for putting words in my mouth- im a sahm. I use to also work, but i felt I was needed at home to raise my children and take care of my home. My husband does a good job- Great job at taking care of all of us. I have nothing agaisnt moms who work. I have a mom in law and 2 sisters who work and obviously has kids. I say good for them. They are doing what they feel they should do for theier family. I dont look down on them and they dont look down on me. My sister actully says to me "I dont know how you do it every single day staying home." Working moms are not bad moms some dont have a choice.

Raisa - posted on 11/14/2011

I'm a SAHM and would never consider calling a working mom bad unless she just sucked as a parent in general. I'm very grateful for the fact I get to stay home with my son. I had to work the first year of his life, so I've been on both sides.

Lisa - posted on 11/13/2011

I'm a SAHM and I have NEVER said that working moms are bad moms. Like others have said, I think those who have said that or insinuated that are in the minority completely.

Kyleigh - posted on 11/13/2011

I just saw this in the Welcome page but their are moms that just need to go to work to help out their own families its not uncommon for women to work just as well as MEN!

Sarah - posted on 11/12/2011

I have said it before and I will say it again because I think it bears repeating: I am a stay at home mom, I am not privilaged, we do not have loads of money (in fact, it is entirely the opposite), and I am not ignorant. In fact, I just finished my master's degree and my hubby is in the AF (the pay isn't as great as the media makes it seem, especially not for enlisted members). I chose to stay home because that is what I thought was best for me and my family and I wanted to obtain my degree so that I could home school my children (my degree is in online teaching). I also chose to stay home because of my husbands job. He is gone a lot and he works very long hours, for us it was either put the kids in daycare and me go to work with all of my paycheck going to daycare (before I finished my degree) or stay home with them. I chose to stay home. I do not feel that moms that work are bad parents and I do not feel that they don't care about their children as much as SAHM's do. I think that for most people it is a choice and some prefer to work and some prefer to stay home, I don't think there is anything wrong with this. And I know that some have to work even though they wish they could stay home and I am sorry that you don't have that choice. We have forgone many things for me to stay home but we made it work because that is what my husband and I felt was best for our kids. It's a personal choice (for most) and I don't think either is right or wrong.

I do realize just how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my kids. I try not to take it forgranted at all and like I said before I feel for mom's who want to stay home with their kids but can't. I really wish that everyone had the ability to do what it is that they want to do as far as raising their children, whether that be stay home with them or work. I know I love to stay home with my kids but I also know that some mothers prefer to work and are better mothers when they do and in my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I also hope that those mothers that want to stay home but can't do not resent SAHM's because of their situation. :)

We need to all respect eachother and encourage eachother as much as possible. Being a mother is hard enough as it is, none of us need all of the drama and criticism. :)

Lauren - posted on 11/12/2011

I agree with you and I'm a SAHM. I worked when my oldest son turned 6 weeks and he went to my sisters until I returned home from work. I've been on the other side, but I've never had anything bad to say about a stay at home mom. The only thing I have said about being a SAHM is that it's not for everyone, which isn't an understatement. Some people who have 4 and 5 kids all under 5 and may not go to k or pre-k I believe are insane, and I couldn't do it. I have 2 boys, 1 of which is 2 and the other 4. They both have their days where I want to say forget being a SAHM, but on the other hand, I wouldn't change them for the world. There are days that I love being at home, and days I wish I worked, but working moms are NOT bad moms. I look at it this way, you can either stay at home with them and not put them in day care or pre-k, and have them all day. The other hand, you could put them in day care while you worked or even have the with a relative or something. I don't understand why SAHMs think working moms are bad parents, and I don't understand why working moms think SAHM are parents that don't want to have their child with them. There were a bunch of posts I saw about how people think it's horrible to put your child in day care so they can work and make a living, but I understand in the world today, it's EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to live with a 1 income household. Therefore, I think it's almost a necessity for parents to work, UNLESS you have a husband or boyfriend that makes enough money to allow you to stay at home like I am fortunate to have. But, in all actuality, working or SAH moms aren't bad parents. Bad parents are those who have kids and either don't care about them because they didn't want them, or parents who let their children get away with everything since they just don't care what they do. If you're with your child as much as you can be, you're a GREAT mom.

Kristel - posted on 11/11/2011

I am a SAHM, I think people have a right to make a decision based on their own experiences. I have not been a working mother, but for those who can't be a SAHM much respect to you all. I don't feel working mother's are bad mothers they provide for their children and have different reasons for working than SAHM's. My husband works for the military and there are some really hard times we go through because of only one income and him being in the reserves. I think most SAHM's are jealous because we can't always afford the things we want or need... Most SAHM's love their kids but won't admit they need a break til we're on the edge, or maybe that's just me. Just take it as a grain of salt, people who are worth while will respect you, SAHM, Working Mom, Single Mom, or whatever. Real friends will respect you and I think that SAHM who bad mouth don't set a good example for their children, and it's any parent who doesn't show their child how to respect others is a greater disadvantage to their children. As a working mother you guys set an example for your children as well as provide an income. Maybe this may be helpful, maybe it will just be over looked but it's my thoughts on the subject.

Kristel - posted on 11/11/2011

I am a SAHM, I think people have a right to make a decision based on their own experiences. I have not been a working mother, but for those who can't be a SAHM much respect to you all. I don't feel working mother's are bad mothers they provide for their children and have different reasons for working than SAHM's. My husband works for the military and there are some really hard times we go through because of only one income and him being in the reserves. I think most SAHM's are jealous because we can't always afford the things we want or need... Most SAHM's love their kids but won't admit they need a break til we're on the edge, or maybe that's just me. Just take it as a grain of salt, people who are worth while will respect you, SAHM, Working Mom, Single Mom, or whatever. Real friends will respect you and I think that SAHM who bad mouth don't set a good example for their children, and it's any parent who doesn't show their child how to respect others is a greater disadvantage to their children. As a working mother you guys set an example for your children as well as provide an income. Maybe this may be helpful, maybe it will just be over looked but it's my thoughts on the subject.

Karen - posted on 11/05/2011

Nerve is right. No one can tell you what is right for your family.

Coming from the point of view of an SAHM, I do understand where they are coming from, if not the tone in which it is delivered. In my family, things tend to run more smoothly if my husband is working and I am at home. He earns more money than I can, and our children behave better and the house stays cleaner under my care. I can see where regular adult interaction can help, and I know of some mothers that need to work to be productive as well as having the much needed break to refill their buckets and return prepared to better spend the remaining time with their children.

Motherhood is a divine calling, and your choices should be between you and Heavenly Father.

Cyndee - posted on 11/02/2011

When I had my first son I was looking into moms groups to join so that me and my son could meet other new moms/kids. One of the sites I went to actually said they did not allow full time working moms to join! I also have heard SAHM complain that they work all day, it's not just staying home enjoying themselves. Which I understand when you stay at home you have house work and kids to watch, etc. But I do all those things as well as work 40 hours a week. My husband helps some with chores like taking out the trash, changing light bulbs, assists in grocery shopping, etc. But for the most part I do the cleaning, laundry, cooking, bathing kids, putting kids to bed, etc. PLUS I still work the 40 hours a week and help pay the bills with my husband. So I know everyone makes decisions that is best for their family but I feel I do all the mommy stuff plus some so I shouldn't be treated as if I am a "bad" parent for it. Because in my eyes I am doing more work than some SAHM are!

Tanya - posted on 11/02/2011

Those are probably the SAHM that take for granted what they have, how they got it and what sacrifices are made to have it that way. Probably air heads that really hate their SAHM status deep down and hate that their partner probably treats them like a second class citizen. If their children were not present they would be out doing work they hated too. Some women just have kids to have an excuse to stay home and gossip on the phone all day and complain when their hubby gets home if they have one.

Stacey - posted on 11/02/2011

No, sorry but those are not people who are privileged or don't have to work. That's probably the attitude that makes people say things like that to you. My husband and I make huge sacrifices so I can stay home with my son who has autism and so I can make sure our 7 yr old does his best in school. I'm sorry someone was rude to you but as I explained it to my 7 yr old son: Every family has challenges and every family does whats best for their situation. None of us have any right to judge any other family or parent as long as they are doing what they feel is best for their family. If you are doing what you know in your heart is right then you know of at least one stay at home mom that supports your decision and wishes you only success.

Stacey - posted on 11/02/2011

No, sorry but those are not people who are privileged or don't have to work. That's probably the attitude that makes people say things like that to you. My husband and I make huge sacrifices so I can stay home with my son who has autism and so I can make sure our 7 yr old does his best in school. I'm sorry someone was rude to you but as I explained it to my 7 yr old son: Every family has challenges and every family does whats best for their situation. None of us have any right to judge any other family or parent as long as they are doing what they feel is best for their family. If you are doing what you know in your heart is right then you know of at least one stay at home mom that supports your decision and wishes you only success.

Michele - posted on 10/29/2011

I'm a stay @ home mom by choice, I am an x-ray tech and was in the work force for many years before I had my twin boys. I don't feel that working moms are bad moms @ all, in fact my mom was a working mom and my grandmother took care of me (we lived up stairs from my grandprents) my mom was also a single mom and she is the best mom ever! The choice to stay home was my own and my husbands choice because twins can be a handful and yes they are but I love being home with them. My husband has a great job so we are very fortunate to have a good life even with one income so I am very grateful, I don't feel trapped, I go out for walks with my boys, gymboree and to the library weekly for story time. I feel like I put in alot of work time and now I'm here with my boys and we are on "our" time, we do what we want to do with our days. I know most of the world needs 2 incomes to survive and why should someone be faulted for that! I think all moms that love and care for their kids are good moms it doesn't matter if you work or don't work, what matters is how you spend your time with your kids and what memories you are making with them. I have wonderful memories of my working mom and I hope my boys have wonderful memories of their stay @ home mom! I do plan to go back when they are in school so I don't think it's the end of my career, just a long hiatus.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/26/2011

Honestly when I was a working mom I thought SAHMs had a harder job than me because they don't get a break. They don't get to leave the house and it seems like the work never ends. Now I see I'm right in thinking that so I'd never say that either mom doesn't do a good job.

Myesha - posted on 10/26/2011

Thats bull! Im a SAHM and I would never call a working mom a bad mom! Thats just disrespectful.Everyones situation is different and everyones experience is different. Shame on them! Being a SAHM is totally difficult, but im sure that being a working mom is just as equally hard.

Melissa - posted on 10/25/2011

its not how much money you make if any at all, its not the amount of time you spend, its how much love you show your childern and nothing more its not about time or money its all about the love and theres never to much of that, so there may be mothers out there that dont understand that, but never let anyone else get you upset or down, their the jerks and they live their life the way they want so please live yours the way it makes you and your family happy or you will always be looking over your shoulder to see what someone else thinks, and thats just not a happy life ,you need to be free and do the things that make you and your family happy not someone else weither you know them or not, hope everything goes good for you and belive in your self always.

Pam - posted on 10/25/2011

I'm sorry you are fighting cancer, I also hope you win in your battle.



As per extra financially to work, I only pay the extra gas.... maybe lunches with co-workers. You must live in the states right? Here in Canada we don't have to pay Dr bills, and I only pay about $1.80 per month for daycare... taxes are higher I'm sure but we also get tonnes of benefits like free dental/free medications, heck we get free massages and other therapy and counseling services, and with my husbands diabetes, I'm saving about 600 every 2 months in medication. I have to work because we are better off because of it, plus my whole family is covered under my health plan, I am contributing to my families ability to access and receive a remarkable health care. Also, I make more than my husband, and the daycare provided here are interactive, monitored, and they even help with potty training. I'm on a 1 year paid maternity, paid by my government, so I can stay at home and breastfeed to prevent future health problems in our health care system.... its awesome. Actually, if it came down to it, I'd make him stay at home and make me dinner ;-) joking....sort of



All jokes aside, you can get a year mat leave if you have work for 6 months or more, and how much you get is based on your salary level. I get maximum, and I'm on my second one, so that being said, they are 2 years apart, which means I got 2 years paid at home with my first so far, my second may only get me at home for one year but that's better than nothing.

Danielle - posted on 10/25/2011

Not all sahm's are rude, I am a stay at home, mainly b/c I can, but i do work from home running our business and taking care of our son plusdealing and trying to fight cancer. It's not that we don't work to pay bills we just save from creating new ones like daycare, extra transportation, Doctor bills from parents who don't care if they send their sick kids to daycare.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/21/2011

I'm a SAHM now because I just moved to Canada from the US and am waiting for my Visa to go through so I can go back to work as a care aide.

Both jobs are equally demanding (SAHM and working mom) neither of us get time off, appreciation for our work because everyone takes it for granted that moms are just moms and it never ends. There's no reason that both SAHMs and working moms should be fighting with eachother

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2011

Thanks Kimberly! And, I totally agreee with you. I have been following this conversation for over a year and am amaved that this question is still generating responses. Thank you for your comments!

Kimberly - posted on 10/20/2011

I am a SAHM out of choice. I was lucky enough to get to stay home this time. I love it but I was also a working mom for a long time. I have the utmost respect for both jobs. I worked hard at work and I work hard at home. Bad parents are everywhere, choosing or having to work does not make you a bad parent and staying at home does not make you a good parent. That is in the choices that you make and how you choose to take care of your children.

Sarah - posted on 10/19/2011

yeah how does providing for your family and having to work (even if you WANT to stay at home) make you a bad parent? If anything i think it makes you a better parent cuz you're willin gto sacrifice that special time with your kids to be able to put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. It's not like we ENJOY NOT being stay at home moms. Believe me, I Would love to get my house clean, catch up on errands, and spend time with my kids more often. But bills gotta get paid somehow and husband can't find a job!

Donna - posted on 10/18/2011

I think SAHM's are great. Being a different periods of my kid's lives, a SAHM, & a working mom, I can answer this question. Some not most or every but some are actually jealous that they are SAHM's, some want the career & the kids. Then there are some, that feel that all Mom's should stay home and take care of their kids. They forget or don't understand that some mom's can not afford to stay home, weather they are single mom's or if they are married.
I think being a working mom is the hardest job in the world, not only are you a mom- 24/7/365 days a year, but you have either a part time job or a full time job. Working mom's would love to be home taking care of the children, seeing them grow & their milestones, and taking care of their family full time. I know it bothered me when I went to work-but then when I was home & the kids were older, I missed going to work and being someone other than Mom & Dave's wife. I wanted to be out in the workplace even if I was just a cashier at Job-Lot. It's hard on us working Moms we have a job which is not always 9-5, then we have the house to take care of, food shopping etc. I wouldn't put too much into what she said-she doesn't realize how hard it is on you to not be a SAHM & they don't realize how much we beat ourselves up for not being there for Jane's play or Jr.'s baseball game. We put enough pressures etc on ourselves we don't need to hear it from our "friends". I would tell her to go somewhere & even offer to drive her there on my way to work.

Donna - posted on 10/18/2011

I think SAHM's are great. Being a different periods of my kid's lives, a SAHM, & a working mom, I can answer this question. Some not most or every but some are actually jealous that they are SAHM's, some want the career & the kids. Then there are some, that feel that all Mom's should stay home and take care of their kids. They forget or don't understand that some mom's can not afford to stay home, weather they are single mom's or if they are married.
I think being a working mom is the hardest job in the world, not only are you a mom- 24/7/365 days a year, but you have either a part time job or a full time job. Working mom's would love to be home taking care of the children, seeing them grow & their milestones, and taking care of their family full time. I know it bothered me when I went to work-but then when I was home & the kids were older, I missed going to work and being someone other than Mom & Dave's wife. I wanted to be out in the workplace even if I was just a cashier at Job-Lot. It's hard on us working Moms we have a job which is not always 9-5, then we have the house to take care of, food shopping etc. I wouldn't put too much into what she said-she doesn't realize how hard it is on you to not be a SAHM & they don't realize how much we beat ourselves up for not being there for Jane's play or Jr.'s baseball game. We put enough pressures etc on ourselves we don't need to hear it from our "friends". I would tell her to go somewhere & even offer to drive her there on my way to work.

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

some fathers can be selfish too, and some kids can be selfish, as well as mothers, and non parents, teachers, caregivers, sometimes actions are selfish or comments directed to hurt others for the commentators own sense of morality and righteousness, but those actions don't necessarily make the person, maybe that mother had a hard day at work, or is feeling the weight of the workload she has taken on, or maybe its something deeper than that, maybe she's fighting her own demons, whatever the case, sometimes all another mother needs is a bit of understanding. Filtering your judgment is not a bad thing, in fact it can make or break the difference in someones life perspective.

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

Melinda, I am sure most good parents know that the happiness and development of their own kids is most important, I think that is a universal concern for most parents. I also think that demonstrating to your own children "self care" and giving yourself a time out every once in a while is apart of that healthy development. As well its up the parent That being said, maybe you are really talking to one person you have an issue with parenting wise through posting it in a working moms support forum? I think its more personal than your leading us to believe. Your message is that of general knowledge, yes working moms love their children just as much as stay at home moms and its up to the individual what family values and moral they pass on, such as work moral or personal care...Thanks Laura~

Laura - posted on 10/17/2011

Thank you Kalloosit for explaining so well why a comment about working moms not spending enough time with their kids is so painful for working moms to hear/read. No one knows what goes on in another family. It is a huge assumption to make that some mothers are not spending enough time with their kids. And why would such a blanket statement only apply to working mothers? It could be equally true of stay at home mothers.

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

lol but you are and you brought up a very strong & hard opinion, its not uncommon for people to want to retort to this type of thinking. Sorry you feel I'm arguing but I'm really just trying to see if you can see it from another perspective. You can stand in someones shoes but you never really understand until you've seen it from their vantage point. No offense intended, I'm at home with my children but I've also been on the other side of the fence. It hurts to leave your children somewhere else while going to work (they cry and you cry, then your at work trying to convince yourself its alright and it is alright, its just the inner struggle of mothers who work), and then to have people making comments like this, I am sure its not very kind to the ears of a hard working mother who probably needs a break from time to time, and needs a break from the harsh judging ways of other mothers, supporting each other is about saying stuff like "hey I know your going through transition, it must be tough" instead of "you should be having family time and not you time"

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

so you think that as soon as a working mom comes home she should drop her purse take off her shoes and just have family time? I respect family time but I also respect that woman should be able to work come home, have me time (get undressed, get into their comfy clothes, wash their face, maybe shower) then sit down to a nice family meal, there you go, family time and me time all well balanced out. I really don't think its fair to judge other woman based on a few moms you have clearly already judged and scold them on the time they spend with their children. Is it really your place to say anything to them? or to even spend time judging them on how they spend their time? Maybe its not personal, but from my professional experience working with other parents, I think a little me time is needed for the health of an individuals sense of identity and for the building of patience and general happiness. Why knock a good hard working parent for how they choose to spend their time? Maybe your experiences have been negative, but there are alot of really good working parents out there that do not need the lecture. The opinion may be a bit generalized.

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

sounds like a personal issue, this is a site for moms supporting other moms. I may be a home with my children on mat leave right now, but when at work I do give my children quality time, but you have to take into consideration that working moms and stay at home moms are woman who most likely would benefit from time for self because it gives you a chance to regroup and rebuild the patience needed to deal with the challenges of tots and babies. happy mom happy children

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

but who says working parents don't give them quantity and quality right?

Pam - posted on 10/17/2011

I'm a working mom on maternity, I stayed home the whole year with my first went back to work when she was a year old and let her go to a daycare while I worked a few months later I became pregnant with my second and now I'm back at home for a year, so I would say I'm part time working mom/SAHM. Being honest, it breaks my heart that I will have to drop off a baby once again at daycare when I return to work, but in exchange they learn a lot, they have many peers around them to excel socially, you miss them just enough to rush home and hug them, etc.. Its not easy, we all have regrets on both sides, if I could I would stay at home with them but I have a career that will pay for their beds, their food, their furniture, toys, weekend getaways, clothes, walks through the mall on the weekend lol, the rent, the hydro, the em-bridge, Christmas, birthdays, thanksgiving... Your also setting an awesome example of work moral, and allowing a daycare to set a routine of storytime, circle time, play time outside, learning time, plus all the friends they make. .. I take my kids to the park everyday its not raining but my two year olds always asking "mommy I want bends" which is "friends" so I've been looking for local playgroups. The thing is, these days dont last forever, they are sweet little years we would love to coddle, but in this day and age we can coddle at keast a year of it and I'm lucky I got 2 years paid for my first child. because we are home though we make a mess that I'm always cleaning, and if I had a fulltime paycheck I would be able to afford a cleaning service once in a while so I could spend that extra time with my kids. Dont you just love getting them new things too? It all boils down to one thing, you love your kids and thats all that matters. I love mine, and thats all I can think about when I'm working to give my children the life I want them to have. cheers ladies, cheers to being a bacon bringing, loving mother who question whats best out of sheer love for their kids, your doing just fine.

April - posted on 10/16/2011

Working moms are not bad parents, it is a persons choice whether or not they want to stay at home with their children or not. I personally stayed at home with my son and I would change that decision for the world. I would have worked if I absolutely had to and I dont think a stay at home mom is any better than one who works Its not about quanity of time you spend with your children its about quality. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for not staying at home its all personal choice and you have the right to make your own choices and what is best for you and your family!

Ashley - posted on 10/13/2011

I'm a SAHM and I don't think you're a bad mom. A working mom has told me I'm lazy because I don't have a job. It goes both ways... It's just jerky people! They want to make themselves feel better about their choice so they make you feel like crap about yours. Don't take it to heart.

As long as you love your children and do what you can for them, you're a wonderful mother.

Heather - posted on 10/13/2011

I am a SAHM and I would never say that a working mom is a bad mom. That is just ignorant! Every mother has to choose what she thinks is best for herself and her family. We are by no means privileged, but my husband and I decided to give up the things we didn't need so I could stay home with our children. As a SAHM I have been treated very poorly by some working moms who tell me I am lazy because I don't work. I don't see why there has to be a working mom vs SAHM debate. We all love our children and are just trying to do what we think is best for them. As moms we should support each other, not tear each other down.

Andrea - posted on 10/12/2011

People are very judgmental , sadly. I am a SAHM and no we don't have a ton of money and we have to forego getting things we as parents want in order to provide for our kids but it is a choice we made. Parenting is always a choice, you can choose to raise your kid(s) with love, compassion and caring no matter if you work outside the home or work at home by being your kids daily caregiver, or you can choose to ignore them, neglect their needs and mistreat them. ALL parents work whether they get a paycheck or not and I myself think all parents need to be congratulated for having the hardest job on earth. I also think the ones that are taking care of the kids while the parents are working an outside job to be able to provide for the kids need to be thanked a whole lot more often than most of them are. I don't have babysitters for my kids, the only people that ever watch them aside from us is family and I always make sure they know I appreciate them and them taking good care of my kids.

Andrea - posted on 10/12/2011

People are just very judgmental. What is right for one isn't always right for others. Working moms aren't bad mothers and stay at home moms aren't gods holy grail. SAH or WM'S still love their kids and that is what they need love and affection!

Crystal - posted on 10/11/2011

thats because they prolly have the money to stay home and raise their babies, mabey they should share the wealth so that us parents dont have to work and put a roof over our babies heads and food in their mouths!!!! a bad mom is one who cant provide for their child..i say WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK