Working MUM, stay at home dad.

Krista - posted on 01/28/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hey Ladies,

I just want to hear some feed back on how dad's are dealing. He is a stay at home dad, not by choice but because of the economy. Anyone out there doing the same thing? How are things going......what are you expecting of your husband, household chores, meals, etc.......? Mentally how are they dealing. We have three children one in pre school and 9 month old twins. He is doing okay, he is taking an antidepressive though. Any hepl or thoughts to get though this would be great. Ohh we also live in a small community so play groups with other men/dads are few to none. thanks

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9 Comments

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Regina - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hi Krista, My husband is not a stay hm dad, but he is out of a job now. We have 3 kids of which 2 go to daycare and 1 stays hm (only 3 months). I would tell you to be VERY supportive of him. Check up by calling or go by whenever you can. Call on your mom or sis or relatives to help him a few days a week, try not to work too many consecutive days so he doesn't become overloaded. You know that can happen even to us women. Emphasize on the positive, on his efforts not on what he is not doing, maybe b/c of lack of time. As soon as you get home give him a break!!!! This is so important. Take over although you're tired, but the ride home helped you distress a little, hopefully. He has been stressed all day without a break. I can go on and on..... Emphasize on the bond he is crating with his children that most dads can only be jeaolus of. Stick together and pray that these difficult times pass quickly. God bless you and your family.

Jena - posted on 02/05/2009

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Oh, I also want to add: The one thing my husband does that bugs me is he leaves our daughter in her pjs all day! I give her a bath at night time, so its not that she is dirty during the day, I just wish he would change her clothes. She has so many cute outfits that she never wears (except on the weekends) b/c every day I get home from work she is still in her pjs!

Jena - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hi everyone,



My husband is pretty much a stay at home dad and works full time. We have a 7 month old daughter. I work 6:30 am- 3:00 pm Mon- Fri. and he works 4:00 pm-12:30 am Mon-Fri. He is at home with our daughter all day while I am at work. At first he said how bored he was being at home all day. I think he is a little depressed. More so b/c he doesn't like the job he does have. I think he enjoys being home with our daughter. He does the laundry once a week. He usually cooks dinner and has it ready when I get home at 3 pm. Other than that, he does not do too many other chores during the week. We do all of our main cleaning together on Sundays. When he cooks dinner, he doesn't usually clean the kitchen. Which is fine b/c that is part of my routine. As soon as I get home at 3 pm, I take over with the baby. Actually, she is usally napping until just before 4 pm. So my husband and I eat an early dinner together, then he goes to work. I spend the rest of my evening playing with my daughter and feeding her. Then I clean the ktichen (including the dishes from dinner) start my daughter's bed time routine, get her to sleep, then relax and go to bed myself! It is harder on my husband than me b/c he does not get a full nights sleep. The earliest he gets to bed is 1 am and my daughter wakes around 6:30 am. I encourage him to take a morning nap when she does at 9 am, so he is not so over tired! Its pretty hard on us right now, but we are doing what we have to. We love the weekends when we are all together. We pretty much just relax on Sat. then take care of all chores on Sunday (we each have our own chores to do). I appreciate my husband cooking dinner, but don't expect him to. If he doesn't, he doesn't. I know when I get home from work I don't want to have to do much, other than care for our daughter! And he has to take care of my daughter all day, THEN go to work.

Jamie - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hello,



My husband is great! Our daughter just turned 5 and has been home from pre-school since my husband was laid off in Nov of '06. Due to his constant job hunting and helping his friends' jobs his mother had to move in to help out. Things have gotten so bad that he's home now for 2 months and his mother has left. He takes care of everyone and everything. Our two other kids are 10 & 7 and he's up getting them off to school and then chores til they get home. Dinner is usually ready and I actually am relaxed when I come home now. The stress of his mother has truly gone away and I am very thankful I got a great guy.

Kate - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hi, I work most days and my partner stays at home with our sons, one 2 and one 5 months. He does most of the household chore, and things like that. He tends to get fustrated some days and not so much others. If that is the case then i think you just need to help out as much as you can when you finish work, thats what i do. I dont expect him to do everything around the house, i come home and it is just done! my partner was taking anti depressants, and they helped him a great deal. If they ehlp then, dont stop taking thm until you feel you can cope without them.

Tracey - posted on 01/31/2009

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just had my 1st baby and will be returning to work in two more weeks- could only take my 6 weels disability/maternity leave- my husband wil be a stay at home as well -not by choice- but cant afford daycare and even if hes working not sure if we could afford daycare... worry that he might not be able to handle her during the day by himself- i guess time will tell

Jill - posted on 01/30/2009

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Hi, my husband stays at home with Molly who is 4 and in school and Charlie who is 2. I stayed at home with my daughter so it has worked out really well mainly, having both done our share. Most days it suits us, occasionally I wish it could be different when the guilt gets to me but I do know we don't have much choice in the matter currently.



My husband is brilliant at doing all the jobs around the house, he has cleaned this afternoon, cooks most meals and does all the washing. It must get pretty lonely for him somedays and he does love the company of the radio just for adult conversation! Glad to know we are not alone though!

Leah - posted on 01/29/2009

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HI! My husband just became a stay at home dad....not by choice either! I am grateful that he is willing to keep them home because we can't afford daycare with just one income. He is going crazy by 3pm. My husband does a couple loads of laundry and cleans the kitchen up after the meals. I really don't expect much during the week but the weekends I expect more. It has been a rude awakening for him...I was the one that always stayed home with kids. My husband has been mentally drained. Each night I let my husband take a break; whether it is a drive by himself or just going to visit friends. The only advise I can give you is that there are going to be good days and bad days. It will take time...my husband gets depressed too!

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My hubby is a stay at home dad and he loves it! He does laundry, dishes, takes out the trash, pretty much all the household chores. We have a 4 1/2 month old.

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