Would you tell your children you were sick?

Kiara - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I was diagnosed with MS in 2007 and I immediately told my daughter, who was 6 at the time. Now I kinda regret it because 1.she acts like she forgets everytime I don't have any energy or am in pain and 2. gets really worried when I remind her about my disease. I thought that maybe acting like I'm ok all the time would help, but now any time I need a nap she looks concerned. Plus its hard to fake it when you have a disease like MS. How I can help my child not be so worried when I am sick?



P.S. I am participating in the MS Walk here in Atlanta on May 15. I would really appreciate in donations you ladies could make. Visit http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/k... to donate or learn more...all donations are tax deductible.

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9 Comments

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Keisha - posted on 05/09/2010

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I was diagnosed with MS on Dec 21, 2009. I sat down with my 11yr old son and explained it to him. He made me laugh and told everyone that his mom has monster in her head.(lol) I think you have to know your child, before you tell them. As far as helping her from not worrying, you have to stay calm and keep telling her that everything is going to be alright. Plus, if you feel up to it, change the subject and talk about something she likes while your lying in bed resting. she is a girl, so i know she loves to talk, unlike my boy who is like whatever mom. (lol) take care, hun & happy mother's day!

Shouna - posted on 05/08/2010

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Hi. I have Fibromyalgia and I have 8 year old twins. I was diagnosed way before they came along and they have been told but also know that with medication I can carry on like nothing's wrong most of the time. They don't understand my pain and it frustrates me when my son put is head on my shoulder and it hurts. I have to tell him to move his head to somewhere else, lower or something and it still will hurt there to. Doctor's don't even understand, how can children. I feel your pain. God bless you. Shouna

Tammy - posted on 05/07/2010

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There is an up side and a down side to telling your children you are sick. I have lupus. I have 4 children, 23, 20, 17 and 9.....the 3 older children did not know I was sick until 2 years ago. I didn't think it was right to burden them when they were younger with my problem. Kids have so many other worries and I didn't want my health issue to be one more worry on their mind. I think I did the right thing for my children. Now that they are older, they have researched the disease and understand now why mommy was too tired to play sometimes. We always enjoyed our time together as we do now.

Janice - posted on 05/06/2010

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I would definitely tell my daughter. She knows when I'm not feeling well already, so not telling her that I had a serious illness or disease would be counter productive. It would just scare her more.

Julie - posted on 05/06/2010

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I would tell my childen .. My daughter is 10 and my son is 5 . Children will get very worried about it, think about it yes it is scary and it is thier mom they are going to worry about.. But if you educate them on what MS is and how they can help you I am sure it will help with thier worries.

Kristal - posted on 05/06/2010

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It can always be hard when you find out you have a illness like MS. But i think you made the rite choice in telling her. I think it would be worse to hide it from her and for her to find out on her own or if something was to happen to you that you were sick and she never knew. i know she is 6 but she is only worried cuz your her mum. just let her know that you love her and that you aren't giving up. just let her be involved with you with things like the MS walk. It will help her i know it did for me when i found out my grandma had cancer.. i was young but being involved helped me get through it.. she just fears cuz she doesn't know..

Melissa - posted on 05/05/2010

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I think it would be good for the kids to know. She should know everything you can tell her about it. The ups, the downs, the reality. Just be open with her, help her understand, which may be difficult for her at this age, but down the road it will be good for her.

Aliska - posted on 05/05/2010

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I would tell my children, I think you should always be honest with your children, even if the news isn't good, so they know that they can trust you to tell them the truth. I think one of the things that is scariest for kids when their parents are sick is the feeling of helplessness. They are used to you being strong, in control and doing things for them. If you think she may be feeling a little helpless give her a few little jobs to do when you are sick or just need a nap. Even if you have to tell a little, white lie about how important those jobs are so she feels empowered and has something to do rather than that awful feeling of not knowing what to do. You could get her to bring you drinks, get her to read you a story to help you sleep when you need a nap, little things like that so she has a little control over the situation. Also it is a good lesson for her to learn how to care for others and not to feel scared or helpless when others need you. Maybe you could show her how to make some simple snacks/meals so that she can get a meal for herself when you need a break. If you have special foods put away for these times, maybe treats she wouldn't normally get she will think that it's fun to be looking after herself. Afterwards she gets praise for being such a helpful girl and letting you rest so both you and she feels better about the situation. Good luck it can't be easy for you.

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