Is anyone going through a divorce, or have any divorce advice?

Charmaine - posted on 02/25/2013

I can report that I am officially divorced in November 2012 and my daughter is fine. In the start she really missed her dad and although he had all the visitation rights he could possibly dreamed of, he still choose to see her only 4 times last year. I promote him at every opportunity and tell her how much he love her, but it is hard to promote him, if he calls when he want to. To top it off he went back to South Africa just after New Year without saying goodbye to her, or even explaining why he would not see her anytime soon. She just bounced back and get on with things. We have always been very close as mother and daughter, she is almost 7 years old now, and i can not ask for a better relationship with her. She is settled and doing better than ever is school. It was hard in the beginning, but it seems like we will be ok :) stay strong to all the moms out there going through this xx

Reshma - posted on 02/24/2013

oh another piece of my advice never say anything negitive about your ex in front of your child, no matter how horrid he is to you.

Reshma - posted on 02/24/2013

I am also currently divorcing from a 8 year marriage and we have a 4 yr old. she had tons of questions but my answer never changed. "Mommy and Papa can not get along well enough to stay together but our love will never change for you. We both love you with all our hearts. " with that she was fine after.

Heather - posted on 10/20/2012

I am in the beginning stages of divorce with 2 young daughters. I moved out of the house about 2 weeks ago and have our daughters most of the time. It is a very hard transition all around, but it seems as though my daughters are handling it as well as they understand it. I have a 3 year old and an almost 5 year old. The 3 year old doesn't really seem too affected by it. My almost 5 year old seems a bit more sensitive than normal but other than that she is fine. I have been trying my best to stay optimistic and that everything will work out in the end. Financially, it is a struggle but I am hopeful that when custody is ordered, that will change seeing how he isn't even paying 1/2 preschool right now. But, I know that part will change. It is hard, but my best advice is to take it a day at a time. There will be easier days and harder days but I know in the end it is the right choice and will ultimately become much easier.

Donna - posted on 10/11/2012

hey michelle,,i am nearly divorced in two weeks and im just wondering how u r going since your divorce..i have two boys 8 and 5..we have shared care and i have a partner now and just got a house with him..the boys get along really well with my man and very settled when at our house...pls let me know how things r going

Amy Somethingorother - posted on 09/05/2012

Divorce is for people who have no life,I JUST EAT MY CHILDREN ALL DAY SO I DUNNO WHAT THE HELL DIVORCE IS





:3

Charmaine - posted on 12/27/2011

Hi Michelle

I am currently in the same situation. it is a bit uncomfortable. I have a 5 year old daughter as well. Maybe we can support each other

Regards Charmaine

LaTanya - posted on 10/03/2011

You have a very bright and sensitive daughter, you are blessed.

Michelle - posted on 09/25/2010

My daughter has thankfully done really well. Her father really has nothing to do with her anymore, never even calls to come see her at his visit times. He has been kicked out from place to place. So his mother/sisters and I have worked out between us for them to see her. They live around the corner from me, and even though her dad is an idiot she can still see that part of her family. According to my daughter and my ex-sister-in-laws he hardly ever goes over their to his moms house to see her.
Thankfully though my boyfriend has been in her life for a while now and she decided ON HER OWN to start calling him "daddy Tom". Even after explaining to her that he is not daddy and such she told us, "he is not my daddy but he loves me and takes care of me like a daddy. so he's my daddy tom!" and its been that way since.

I know as she gets older the issue of "was it my fault" "what happened" and such will arise. For now she just is happy with having her even bigger family, even though daddy isn't there.

Melanie - posted on 09/25/2010

I am about to go through a divorce and i guess i will be asking the same question pretty soon. I agree with Paula there are lots of children's book these days that explain to a child all about a divorce and i am definately going to buy some myself for my kids. Also make sure she understands it is not her fault and just keep doing what your doing now because it sound like your doing a good job. Good luck and i wish you all the best

Paula - posted on 07/31/2010

Well if she is handling it all well I wouldnt worry. I know my public library has lots of kids books on divorce. Also when you do your divorce papers and go to court you can ask for things such as child support, day care help, gas expenses(if he gets her on weekends and you have to meet out of your way), also like who carries medical.

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2010

My daughter is 3 1/2, she has been dealing with the separation quite well. She thankfully is a very understanding child.

Paula - posted on 07/31/2010

How old is your daughter??
I was lucky my kids were barely 2 and newborn when I divorced but I was 5 when my parents divorced.