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NANCY - posted on 07/22/2009

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Guys are tricky ones... I have been there and done that and now, 10 yrs later with 3 kids I regret putting up with the cheating a-hole. His cell phone and computer usage was always so private... being cheated on before by him and knowing him inside and out i knew when he was acting funny...so last straw..I saw a video in his phone with another Chic!! on top of that there was was txt msgs and emails in his phone that said it all. Every time he was caught he acted like the sweetest thing in the world, making me beleive that he was truely sorry and that he did love me. I thought there must be something wrong with me because obviously I can't seem to make him happy.. then i would forgive him and move on. This last time (with the video) I just had enough and figured he is never going to change. Its not me that there's a problem with it is HIM. You will know when enough is enough and when you just can't take any more - unfortunatly only you know how many more times you can put up with a man that disrespects you and doesn't truely value you. Once the trust is broken - it is alomost impossible to get it back without a copmlete chane from the person who broke it in the first place.

Momma - posted on 07/22/2009

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well you can always hire a private detective or call the show cheaters (if your in america) and if he is cheating, then yes I would walk away. But that's me and I'm vindictive like that

Jenny - posted on 07/22/2009

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As of everything right now...he has said he doesnt want to lose
what we have and that he is willing to do what it takes to gain my trust back....

Tiffany - posted on 07/22/2009

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Have you considered marriage counseling? Him being willing to go would be a good sign he is moving forward...

Tiffany - posted on 07/22/2009

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I don't want to give the wrong advice or a bad one so just take it for what it is. I caught my hubby cheating in 2006 and sometimes the obvious is right in front of you. My hubby wasnt cheating when we were dating, but yours were and I sometimes find it difficult to believe in someone who has done it before as you put it "several times". In my opinion if a man doesn't have respect for your feelings or the relationship at a dating stage, (where I'm sure you both vowed to be fully committed) then what kind of respect is he having for you and your marriage?!. Follow your instincts and look into it, trust me I had dreams of mine cheating on me and I even blurted out her name bfore even meeting her.
the one thing you don't want to do is confront him without proof like I said just look into it a number without a name could mean a whole lot

Jenny - posted on 07/22/2009

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Thats my problem i want to rebuild our relationship but it is so difficult when i
am constantly looking over my shoulder to see if he is doing right by me.....Granted he hasnt messed up in a while...Like i said I truly love him and want to get past everything...how do I do that though

Tiffany - posted on 07/22/2009

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Its hard to built a future with someone when you are always looking over your shoulder to see if they will repeat their past.

Xaviera - posted on 07/22/2009

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Well sometimes when we settle for jus anything, thats what we end up with. He has to realize that u r serious and u aint gon take it any more, only then will he know that u mean business. My hubby showed me the same hurt i gave him, n it made me realize that i could possibly lose him. only then were we able to make things work, b/c we both wanted each other n noone else. but u BOTH have to want this, if he jus cant stop pokin around then u need to let it go. its take 2 to make it work

Jenny - posted on 07/22/2009

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That is my problem....part of me thinks he hasnt changed...but the other part of me sees that he is making an effort to gain my trust back.....its just that.....I have given my trust to him and he has broken it...Im not sure whether i should give it back.....I love him and I would love for our marriage to work out truly I do ...im just so lost right now...Im confused and truly I just dont know

Cortnie - posted on 07/22/2009

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The situation just isn't fair... I've been there my self. My husband and I got married in Nov. and the very next April... he cheated on me. I tried to stay and make it work (every one makes mistakes right?) But my heart could take it. Just few short months and our marriage was over... or so I thought. Just 2 weeks after I moved out, I found out I was pregnant. He and I stay seperated through most of my pregnancy and he showed over time the he changed and wanted to be a better husband and father. So towards the end of my pregnancy, I let him move in with me... BIG MISTAKE. Just 2 months after my son was born, he admitted to sleeping with 4 other girls while we were seperated. And the whole time he was telling me that he loved me and never wanted another women...BLAH BLAH BLAH. Then he started not coming home till 3 and 4 in the morning, he said he was out with his friends. He had a new baby and a wife at home and he was out with his friends? the suspiction and heartbreak all became to much for me to bare and I had to make the hardest choice. But I believe I made the best choice for me and my son... and asked my husband to move out.



You have to make the best decision not just for you, but for your child. I was a child of a broken home and trust me. It is better to be from one, than it is for your child to grow up in one. Your child will see and feel your heart ache everyday, I know I a felt my moms.



If you feel my husband has changed and is a better man will no longer to you and your child wrong (and when he cheats, he is not only doing you wrong, he is doing your child wrong) IF he truly has changed... hold your family tight and live the best possible life you can. But if he hasn't changed... make the best choice for you and your child and if that is to walk... even though it will be hard... WALK. I wish you the best of luck darling. keep your head and be strong.

Xaviera - posted on 07/22/2009

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Well, my hubby n i been married for 6 yrs and been together for 10. We went thru the infidelity thing in our relationship also, n i was the one who was first guilty of it. I can say that its the most hurtful thing u can do to a person, especially one u love so much, and u scar ur relationship for life becacuse that innocent person is no longer so innocent. No matter how much u love that person u will never forget that feeling, so if ur not strong enuf to get thru that tough time and move forward, u r unfortunately wasting ur time.

My hubby cheated on me to get me back for what i did and that put a huge dent in our relationship. But we loved each other more than we hated what happened between us, so we took time to make things work again.

Also, both should b willing to move forward, meaning not to continue with what tore u up in the first place. if ur not willing to stop cheating then there is no need to even think about making things work, because u dont care enuf to stop hurting the one u love.

Then too, if u cant trust him u already took 2 steps back.

User - posted on 07/22/2009

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with personal experience i just feel once a cheater always a cheater unless they are getting counseling or you guys are getting counseling together....its not fair for your kids to live in a home where there are trust issues of that magnitude...

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2009

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I think children would rather be from a broken home than live in one! You and your husband need to really sit down and have a heart to heart talk. If you have a "gut feeling" that he's cheated on you or cheating on you, find out for sure first then make an informed decision! Good luck!

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

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I am generally of the thought that "once a cheater, always a cheater"; however, I have known of a few situations where the cheater really did convert and change their ways. You have to figure out what your situation is, and nobody can do that for you. Cheating is a very serious issue, and it needs to be addressed in an honest, open way so that the appropriate decision can be made. Best of luck!!

Nichole - posted on 07/22/2009

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Ugh..That's a hard one. I was with someone for 3 years that cheated on me before my hubby so I know the feeling of being cheated on. I know myself personally I would never be able to forget that stuff it would drive me crazy all day long. I think you need to do what is best for you family. Just remember, mommy and daddy don't have to be together for their children to have a wonderful life.
Good luck, girl!!

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2009

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You have to what is best for you and your children. I was in this situation with my last husband. We didn't have children together but he had 3 one of which was conceived while we were married. I am also a child of parents who stayed together for what they thought was my well being. Believe me you are not doing your kids any favors. They know you are unhappy and it hurts them as much as it hurts you.

User - posted on 07/22/2009

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i dont know what to say but i have been through something very similar and it is an easy thing to decide,if you suspect he is cheating again he has crossed the line so yes walk,but only if you feel 100% that there is no going back.

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