1? my family doesnt think i should have anymore kids even tho my daughter is the only grandkid

Sandy - posted on 12/14/2009

I get told the exact same thing, My family are ok with me wanting another 1 but not the other side... but as I have sat down n spoken to my boyfriend about is if we want another 1 we can do it, our parents are only there for guideance not to rule our lives

Letitia - posted on 12/14/2009

i agree .... i know how you feel.... my family also think i shouldn't have any more and also only have one child (its a boy) and i want more because then he will have someone to play with

Kayla - posted on 12/13/2009

i think it is up to you two if you want more children then have them they will always love and support you and your children my mom said one was enough now she doesn't know what she would do without my son

Jamie - posted on 12/13/2009

I am not sure why they are concerned with you having more but family usually has your best interests at heart. One problem with that is that the only one(s) who know best is you and your sig. other. I am not sure if there are medical concerns with your pregnancies, or money issues going on, but as long as you have weighed all the risks and benefits, if it works out, I say why not. My husband and I already have 2... a boy and a girl, but would like a third child. Money is tight so we are waiting and if it never happens it wasn't meant to be, but I can't see bringing another child into our lives when we can't give them all we want or need to give them. My two are the only two grandkids on my side as well. They have 3 cousins on my husbands side but that is it. My younger sister is the only one left who could possibly have any kids, but she is just getting married in April so we will see. Bottom line is weigh all the pros and cons and consider if you could financially give this new child everything they need...love, shelter, childcare if necessary, clothing, food...etc. If that is all not an issue and you are healthy enough to have another child safely...Do what is best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY! :) Hope this helps!

Shannon - posted on 12/13/2009

if you want them and your dr. says go for it. well go for it they will love the next one no matter what.
my mother did not watn me to have a nother baby i had a son and i was not with his father my choise but any way i met my now husband and we got preganet like 2 weeks later now our lil girl is my moms first granddaughter and she loves her to pieses. i went for it. now i shouldnt have any more for a bit i have cervicel cancer so ya but. good luck. hope i helped.

Caroline - posted on 12/13/2009

its got nothing to do with them ! its urs n ur partners choice

Wendy - posted on 12/13/2009

Its got nothing to do with anyone else. if you feel ready and are financially ready for more then you blody well have more if you want to! :D

Julie - posted on 12/13/2009

Anymore kids is your personal and financial responsibility just as your daughter is right now and if you can be financially responsible for another child then who are they to tell you that you cant but if they also have to be more financially responsible or responsible more than you are for your child then their concern would warrant some thought

Lindsay - posted on 12/12/2009

I wouldn't worry much about what everyone else is saying, unless there's a medical condition, I would make that choice yourself. You may regret not having more kids later in life and you make be thankful that you didn't, but that's a choice you need to make...

Mindy - posted on 12/12/2009

You should def do what you want. I am 25 and have 3 boys. My family didnt really approve of me having any of my children but they love them once they come out. I am having my tubes tied because of my decision not theres. Me and my fiance decided that 3 was enough for us. Good luck

Malissa - posted on 12/12/2009

I have been told the same thing by my husbands family, and im greatly offended, we have 2 kids together and we are only 22 and 26, His grandmother is always saying, "Do me a favor, just dont have anymore kids." I mean how rude right?! i couldnt believe she said that, my advise to you is, if they arent raising your kids or paying your bills, have as many kids as you want! my husband and i have 2 girls (6 & 22mos) and we plan on trying for a boy in another 2 or 3 years, maybe even a couple of boys! hahaha.

Donna - posted on 12/12/2009

i am pregnant with my 4th baby and my family told me after the second that i should stop having kids i am only 24 but it is what me and my partner want it is not up to them. if you and your partner want more kids go for it in the end it is up to you and him your family will come round but do what makes you happy dont let them tell you how to led your life you are a mum and can do waht you like they really dont have a say any more. good luck xx

Kayleigh - posted on 12/12/2009

um, who is in charge here,my family dont want me to have n e more because i had a little bit of a difficult pregnancy, so im gonna pop out 5 just to spite em

Emma - posted on 12/12/2009

This is a little out of order, they can't tell you not to have any more children. It's your decision x

Rainee - posted on 12/12/2009

do what YOU want...that's not either families decision!!! Just you and your honeys!! Is there a reason though that they think you should only have one??

Krista - posted on 12/12/2009

That should be you guys choice. If you guys are ready for another one I say go for it, don't worry about what everyone else says.

Stacy - posted on 12/12/2009

My advise is, it is up to you guys not them.we have 7 children and since i was pregnant with our 5th i have heard how we dont need anymore..and obviously we didnt care what they say cause here we are, i just gave birth to our 7th in September..so my feelings are, you guys are adults it is up to you how many children you want you are the ones raising and takng care of them..

Gladys - posted on 12/12/2009

hi nikki,believe me noone has a right to decide how many kids you should have.thats for you and your husband to decide.if you want to have a baby go ahead.

Mirna - posted on 12/12/2009

i think the decision is up to u & ur hubby no one else should interfere

Danielle - posted on 12/11/2009

tell them that it is yours and your partner decisions on your own lives and what you both think is best and its none of there concern or business for that matter if u decide to have anymore children obviously they have something against u both which is stupid because the 3 of u are a family and u do what u feel is right for the 3 of u as a family and dont worry about wat people say people are to judgemental

Carolee - posted on 12/11/2009

That is up to you and the father! I'm 27 and my family is kind of pissed off that I'm pregnant again. But, with my family, it's because I'm the "screw-up" of the family... my sister's the "good" one who would have made the "perfect" mom, but she can't have kids. Is yours anything like that? Favortism of siblings and what-not? Could it also be because you're young (you didn't say how old you were, so I'm assuming)?

It's totally up to you two! You're the ones that are going to make a baby and take care of it and raise it, not your guys' parents, so they really shouldn't have a say in it. Do what you know in your heart is right. Good luck.

Toni - posted on 12/11/2009

its entirly up to you not your family ... but comming from a only child it isnt fun growing up by your self .. i mean you have friends but sometimes i think my child hood would have been more fun if i had a brother or sister my mum didnt wanna play the games i did and was ussally left to enertian myself on rainy days when i couldnt go outside ... but its up to you and your man if you want another just go for it

Melissa - posted on 12/11/2009

i am having my 5th child and if it was up to my family i would not have any but i am the one that looks after them and they have every thing they need so if you wont more kids it is up to you guys not your family goodluck xxx

Veronica - posted on 12/11/2009

If we all listened to what everyone else said to do -- we would be no where in life. I am going on SIX kids - and to me, it doesnt matter what anyone says! This is my and my husband's life - no one else's! After each time we got pg. people would ask, what the hell are you doing? How are you going to support this baby? How are you going to do it?

Simple: The Lord.



If i listened to everyone else, i wouldn't have the wonderful gifts that I have. My life, is just that MINE. (same with my hubby's) I think too many people like to put their two cents in, a lot of it I think is jealousy, or right out no respect for others' lives.

Instead of telling you no more, they should say, How can we HELP??



But i guess the big question to that - is why DONT they want you to have more children? and that being from both sides of the family - is there concern there that they are saying it? or are they just saying it?

Amanda - posted on 12/11/2009

Yeah, do what YOU want! They don't have a choice if you have more children or not. It's not their business.

Christine - posted on 12/11/2009

Grandparents always have their two cents to put in. You said they didn't want you to have the first one and you did, and they love their grand daughter right? So the same would happen if you had another one. They might say no the whole time, and once he or she is here, they'll love your baby just as much and be so glad you brought them into this world!

Melissa - posted on 12/11/2009

if u would like more have more

Sheryl - posted on 12/11/2009

if you can afford to and are in a stable envoriment. plus, if you can handle the stress with one. then do what you guys wants. in then end your the parents. not them.

Kelly - posted on 12/11/2009

I think how many childrenu have is ur decision as long as u are a fit parent then its up to you, however i do understand ur concern u want ur family to support you and so they should! Its not fair that because other family members have had lots of children that u should have to limit how many u have! U should talk to ur family and ask them to explain their reasons for not wanting you to have another child, and if its a ligitimate reason then fair enough, but if its just because they dont want anymore granchildren then i think that is selfish on their behalf!

Cleo - posted on 12/10/2009

They probably feel that you can't comfortably handle more than the one that you have and are looking out for you and your daughters best interest.

STEPHANIE - posted on 12/10/2009

First of all, My family felt the same, but it shouldn't matter! If you want more children and can take afford to take care of them then you should have more children! I am pregnant now with my second and my family is very excited even though they felt like I shouldn't have any more!

Kelly - posted on 12/10/2009

if you guys what to have more kids it is up to you
i have to kids and going for my third next year there are 3 on my side and 4 on my husband if any one told me that we shouldnt have any more i tell them to get lost i say go for it

Laura - posted on 12/10/2009

Quoting melissa:

if you ask people their opinion they will tell you. Is there a reason why they are saying you shouldn't? Maybe they are looking out for your own well-being. It could be many reasons like: finances/savings, childcare(maybe they aren't prepared to babysit additional children...if you use them for babysitting), maybe they want to see you build on the relationship with your spouse first (trust me the more kids you have the more your relationship with others take a back seat), maybe they want to see you go back to school..etc.
I would ask them why they feel that way.
good luck

Great way to put it!

 I agree with many others sentiments: As long as you can financially support your children without reyling on government supported programs (I don't mean to offend, I believe that it's just not fair to either child to have a second baby and have even less to go around when you don't have the means for the first) and are in a  stable environment & are happy with your relationship how many children you have is your business, not theirs!

Have a conversation to find out why they feel the way that they do.

You go girl! :)

Danyella - posted on 12/10/2009

It doesn't make sense why they didn't want you to have a baby in the first place and why they are telling you not to have another one. There's too much of this odd story left out to really give an honest opinion.

Since there is so much left out, I would have to say that if both families are so adamant about you two not procreating anymore, then the two of you might want to take a close look at yourselves. What is it about you and your child's father that makes your family cringe at expanding your family? Or are both families seriously dysfunctional and the two of you are the black sheep?

I don't know, but your post leaves me w/ more questions, than there are answers for me to give! Sorry!

Vanessa - posted on 12/10/2009

let them have there opinion. but if you and her daddy want more children then it is your choice.

LaKisha - posted on 12/10/2009

I know you've heard this a gajillion times...lol! But my reply resonates with everyone else here. I say if you and your husband want more kids and you can afford it then do it! You guys are a family now and your immediate family can't make your decisions for you and besides, they are going to love every child you guys pump out...lol! Be sure to stay away from those individuals who will stress you out and try to make you feel bad if you do decide to get pregnant. I had to do that when I was pregnant. I tried not to talk to my family that I knew would stress me out with their complaining with me being pregnant. Do what your heart says...let it be you and your family against the world...lol! Hope this helped...God Bless!!!

Erin - posted on 12/10/2009

I think there is a lot missing in this story! Why didn't they even want you to have ONE kid? Why did they make you feel horrible during your pregnancy? I'm confused!!!

Jocelyn - posted on 12/10/2009

Iwent throughthe same thing with muy husbands family! With my first(now 10) they said have an abortion,your to young.With my second(now 8),they said the same...plus they said I would be a bad mother ,becauset taking care of two kids is too hard! SERIOUSLY?? I'm in no way a bad mother.. I love my kids and they love me...do what is best for YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...not what other people want! Good Luck!

Christina - posted on 12/10/2009

in all honestly its really not their decision. if you and your partner want more children and can take care of more children... then do what you feel in your heart.

Rachel - posted on 12/10/2009

I'm 24 years old with 3 children, 4, 2 1/2 and 3 months. I'm also a day care provider with a total of 8 children 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. That's a huge plus because I don't have any child care expenses. I went through the same thing after my second child, are you really going to have more, don't you think 2's enough, the more kids you have the harder it is, I wish I wouldn't of had 4 kids. These are some of the questions/remarks I got before I got pregnant with my 3rd baby. I think that you can have as many kids as you want as long as you can provide for them and take care of them on your own, without the help of others. If you're one of those mom's out there that have children with "x" amount of guys, don't have a job, and collects child support for the dads, then you shouldn't have any more kids. As long as you 2 do it together, then have as many as you want! Good Luck!

Ashley - posted on 12/10/2009

I think it is not up to your family whether you should have more children or not. I think that is something for you and your spouse/significant other to decide. Ultimately you two should make the decision to have more children or not.

Katrina - posted on 12/10/2009

My family thought that the same thing when I had my daughter in 2004...They thought that it would be too much for me because at the time I was a single mom. Well, that was a long time ago. Now I have three children and is 7 1/2 months pregnant with twins. So, I believe it is up to you rather you want more children, you are the one who have to raise them.

Nicole - posted on 12/10/2009

maybe yo could compromise and have just 1 more :P my older sister had her kids 5 and half yrs apart and there was always pressure on me to do the same but i didnt want a huge gap like that so everytime it came up in conversation i let them know i am not having a gap like that. i just had my second and they are 3 and half yrs apart. You just have to let them know how you feel everytime its spoken about or they'll make u feel like you did the wrong thing when you fall pregnant again and you wont be happy. stick up for yourself!!

Marie - posted on 12/10/2009

my husbands parents were like that in theri mind and words it was "why have 2 when you can give more to 1" however, my husband had always maintained that he was so lonely as a child that he wanted 2. So against how they felt we now have 2 beauitful girls. It is your family, only yu should decide, not anybody else x

Mandy - posted on 12/09/2009

U should have as many babys as u and your man want. Just rember it is what makes u happy and not everyone else.If u do have another don't let them stress you out cause its not good for u or the baby.

Megan - posted on 12/09/2009

is there a legit reason theyre wanting you to have no more? maybe its finances or stability or medical. im an epileptic(seizures) and i take a really high dose of a very strong medication. i decided not to have anymore children and got my tubes tied. thankfully my son is healthy and smart. i was sooo afraid for him and felt sooo guilty throughout my pregnancy. but in the end I made the call to have the tubal I decided not to have anymore kiddos. would i have liked to have had more? yes. i had wanted at least 2. but that would have been selfish for me and possibly harming to myself and the future babies.

in the end its your choice no matter the sitch. but if they have a legit reason for asking you not to have anymore, hear them out.

Sarah - posted on 12/09/2009

My Gram says the same thing to everyone in our family, almost. She told me that I should only have my daughter, I felt like asking " why Gram, do you regret having 7 children?!" I'm not planning to have a more children, unless I get married and since I'm not even going out on dates (would love to) thats not going to be for a while. And the truth is I may never have any more children, which makes me sad in a lot of way. But there's a plan for everyone, even when you can't see it.



It's not their life, its yours- Live it!!

Heather - posted on 12/09/2009

just tell them you plan to have at least 20 kids like the families on tv. lol seriously it is totally up to you how many children you have. and if they dont like it tell em to shove it.

Alina - posted on 12/09/2009

umm....i think i would do what i wanted and was comfortable with. if you can handle more then i say go for it. they will either accept it or they wont. what does your hubby think? it is a decision you should make together.

Kate - posted on 12/09/2009

ur daughter is gorgeous and if u have anymore it will ultimatly be u and ur partners decision and they will be a credit to u both :)