2 years and I still have no social life...Is that normal?

Mallory - posted on 06/15/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering if anyone else has had problems getting their social life back in order after having children? I went to college for 4 years and had a lot of fun. Even after that I still kept in contact with all my friends and we were always doing something fun and exciting together. Since I had my daughter over 2 years ago I just no longer find those things fun anymore. Part of it is because I have developed this social anxiety. Every time I am at a bar or a friends house or anywhere outside of my house I feel so uncomfortable and I just can't wait to get home. I feel like I have such different priorities now and don't even want to be around some of the people I used to after becoming a mom. When I'm home every Friday and Saturday night I do wish I had the desire to go somewhere and be the person I used to be but, I just don't. Has anyone one else had this problem? I am only 25 and I am too young to feel this old!

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Amanda - posted on 06/20/2012

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Im 25 with a five year old and a 3 year old and i can relate. When I was younger, I was very social, went out all the time. When I had my first son, it just didnt feel right going out to the bars on the off chance my mother would watch him. I thought people were judging me all the time. Now, I moved to a town where I am completely alone with no family around so going out doesnt really happen, and trying to find/keep/make friends who would rather stay home and hang out or go anywhere withthe kids it tough. I think your prioraties change drastically and having fun means something totally different. Now having fun is taking the boys to the park instead of crusing around, and instead of staying up all night at the bars its staying up late watching blue's clues with my babies. Your whole perspective of fun changes, and it makes it harder to fit in with people my own age. I find now that I get along better with people who are older since I can relate to them more.

Haley - posted on 06/19/2012

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I'm 22 and have 2 kids and about the time I got my social life back their dad left me. So now it's just me and them all of the time. He only takes them while I work and no longer or always shorter. Unless I can take my kids I don't go out. The most exciting I do any more is go to the store. I have tried to have a good friend over to hang out but she always wants to drink and I feel like I can't because I have my kids.

Annie - posted on 06/18/2012

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i know how u feel i feel the same its hard to make friends for as i keep getting constantly judged

Mallory - posted on 07/15/2010

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Wow I havent been on here in a while lol! Thanks for all the replies and I am more than relieved that there are other people going through the same thing. That's what makes this website so great! I'm going to try out some of the suggestions and hope for the best. Thanks again!

Monique - posted on 07/14/2010

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i am 22, soon to be 23,and my son is 1. since i had him i went out twice, once when he was about a month and once like a week ago. i would just rather be in the house with him.i cut off all my friends and whenever anyone does ask me to go somewhere the first thing i say is can jereme go...

Kate - posted on 07/14/2010

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im only 19 and have a 14 mo old. I am the same way. Although I prefer to stay home when my daughter is at her dads everyother weekend. I never go out and when people ask me why I tell them that bc the ppl i hung out with before i got pregnant just party and get drunk and high and I dont want to be a part of that. I wont take any risks of losing my daughter.What we both need to do is find a new group of friends who are young mommies like ourselves.

Shalaina - posted on 06/15/2010

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My husband and I are both 25. We never were big on partying so we don't miss that. We make sure we have our own time or can go out with friends while my parents watch him. We know that he is safe with them so we really do enjoy our time out. Plus, we always go out during the day with him, we don't like just staying home all of the time!

Of course your priorities have changed, as they should.

Maybe you could join a mommy and me group of some sort, then you find other mommies to hang out with and you share the same priorities, etc. You can also make life long friends (for you and baby) and know you have a great babysitter if needed!

Jennifer - posted on 06/15/2010

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I think many of us feel that way. I am 26 and havent had a real social life since I was.....maybe 22 or so. My kids are my number one priority and a lot of my old friends either dont have kids or had their kids taken away by the state. Either way, not a scene which I am into these days. I drink at home with my fiance, I still keep in touch with old friends, but we dont do the same things anymore. FB and myspace is the extent of my conversations with them.
Im 26....and feel a hell of a lot older.

Antawnia - posted on 06/15/2010

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I am a 22 yr old mother, and I have noticed the same things about my self. I have tried going out with my gfriends a couple of times, but everytime I go out, I wish I would've just stayed home! I don't have fun doing things that I used to would have had a blast doing! Mostly because me and my friends now have very different priorities in life!! And I love to talk about my daughter CONSTANTLY if I am not with her, and I feel like my friends get tired of hearing about her. But I don't care to talk about "that cute guy at the bar" or whatever anymore, because that's just not my life anymore. When we go out, we know we have to come back home and be "mommy" so it makes it harder to enjoy "going out" like you used to, whereas your friends are already thinking about what they are going to do tomorrow night because they are for the most part care free. So don't feel bad, or like you're the only one, because there are definitely more people like that out there!! It'll get easier once you make friends with other moms, or the friends you have become moms, because then your back on the same level with them with the same basic priorities. Try to find something in your area that is for like young moms and their children or something like that so that you can get out there and meet other moms your age and make some new friends that understand where you are in life and what your priorities, etc, are. Hope that helps you at least a little bit!! :)

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