21 with baby girls and expectin again

Chelly - posted on 06/09/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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hey every1 i just found this site and hoping 2 get advice.... im 21 with 2 girls a 2yr old& a 4month old ... and just found out im expecting again .... all 3 with the same partner ... The problem is idk what 2 do I've gotten an abortion b4 with his baby ...n he wants me 2 get another 1 and im not sure if i really wan to have another aborion but idk if i going to be abe to handle 3 babies .... i still think alot of my 1st abortion and i dont think i would be able to live with the fact that i got rid of another 1 .... he is making me feel really bad everytime i say i want to keep it .... this is soooo super hard n i sooo stressed out ... plzi would like some advice back

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Neva - posted on 06/09/2012

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I'm so sorry that you are going through this. The bottom line is that you have to do what you feel is right, not what your partner thinks is right for you. He does get to have his say, but he should not be pressuring you. It is your body and if you are the one that will have to deal with all of the emotions. I would suggest that you find a good counselor that can help you work through this tough decision. If your partner refuses to go, go for yourself. Do you have any other support systems, like family that can help you? I had 3 babies very close together and it was hard at first, but as they got a little older, they were very close and are still close today. My biggest advice would be don't make any hasty decisions when you are stressed, but talk with an unbiased 3rd party (counselor) that can help you work through the decision making process so that you are happy with the decision you make in the end.

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Grace - posted on 06/12/2012

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do what you feel is right. If you absolutely feel that you are going to be over whelmed and your not ready for a third baby get a abortion. But not because your man wanrs you too. we take care if the kids gets up at night feed them and put them to sleep. most men dont. Im a mom of three i have a 9,6 and 1 year old. My girls are big so it gets easyer at that age but its not going to be easy with 3 kids under the age of 5 point blank its not!! also think about your other kids are they ready to be pushed to the side? i agree with moms on here saying the baby dident ask to be her VERY TRUE!! you need to get on birth control ASAP!! Can i ask you Why weren't you on BC if you have a 4month old and dident want another one?? Good luck do what you feel is right and what you can handle.

Mom of three 9,6,1
27, with my fiancée for 11 years.

Kathryn - posted on 06/11/2012

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When you have sex, the risk of pregnancy is there. Having been pregnant 3 times prior, with 2 children currently, it's safe to say you were aware of the risk of ecoming pregnant when you were having sex with your partner. This baby you're carrying did not choose to be here, yours and your partners action brought him here. Never do something because someone else is guilting you into it, especially when it involves the precious life of a baby. If he is trying to force you to abort it, I'm sure he knows where the door is. My twins (who were an oops, BTW) were 21 months old when my 3rd was born. Trust me. It's not that bad after the first couple of weeks. You adjust. You get a routine. And you learn the true meaning of necessity versus luxury when it comes to your spending. You'd be amazed on how many people you can support financially with a clear vision of what's truly a necessity. Him telling you to abort is NOT a good enough reason to do so and you'll likely end up leaving him anyway down the road because you'll start to resent him for having made you do it. If its what you want, whatever floats you're boat. I'm not you and so my anti-abortion beliefs don't mean a thing. Do what's right for you and your two babies... If he can't deal with it, he's not the kind of man you want easing your children anyhow.

Kelly - posted on 06/11/2012

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If you don't want to abort but don't feel you can take care of three children, you can always put the new one up for adoption. The baby will find a loving home with someone who can care for them, and you won't have to feel the guilt of the abortion. You may have to deal with questions from your two older children at some point though. I agree with Neva, definitely seek counseling. They can help you work through this difficult decision and find the right outcome for you and your family.

Christina - posted on 06/09/2012

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Dont do it because he wants you to that kind of reasoning will only make you regret it more... if you want to keep the baby keep it, if you physically cant go threw with having and raising three kids then dont keep the baby... but do what you feel is best for you.. sending prayer your way

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