3 month old baby will only sleep when nursed and held

Laura - posted on 04/15/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi mums!



Ive researched this over and over and read so many different opinions but wanted to see what everyone thinks about my situation.....



my bootiful boy is 3 months old, we have co-slept from day 1 for a few reasons...

1 - he was born in january when it was freezing cold, i hated the thought of him being too cold in the night

2 - we were so overwhelmed that our baby was finally here after a 10 year relationship (childhood sweethearts) that we just wanted to cuddle him

3 - im breastfeeding so found it so much easier

4 - he generally didnt like sleeping in his crib



Plus im a light sleeper and dont move round much in sleep so i knew it would be safe.



Now, the warmer weather is coming,he is getting older /and bigger) and mummy n daddy miss cuddles from each other.....is it the time to attempt gradually teaching baby boy to sleep in his moses basket?



In the night, he wakes once or twice to feed and feeds for about 5 minutes before falling back to sleep, then i lay him next to me but he opens his eyes to check im still there and puts his hand on my face for comfort.......does this mean hes not ready to be away? hes the same with daytime naps.....always needs to be in my arms and everytime i lay him down (even next to me on the sofa) he wakes up straight away.



Im not too frustrated about it, i love him cuddling into me but when we do attempt it, how can i do it without letting him 'cry it out'? any opinions?



Thanks, Laura

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7 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 04/25/2012

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Try swaddling him. I am not a co-sleeper person. For 1 we have a waterbed so that is very dangerous for a newborn. For 2 I like that time to be just for me and hubby. Sometimes this means I get less sleep or he does, but this is the only time that we get just the two of us. I still do cuddle time and enjoy the snuggles, just do them before I lay them down for bed. With all my kids I would swaddle them and then lay them in bed asleep at first and then as they got older I would gradually hold them for less and less time. Then as time goes on and they were sleeping good with being laid down awake I would start to swaddle them less and less. All my kids have been good sleepers and slept through the night at young ages.

[deleted account]

My 2 older kids only slept with me if they were sick.....I didn't want them to get used to sleeping with me.....hubby works nights so I'm by my self with the kids. My 3rd was in the NiCU for about 3 1/2 months but due to night nursing all that stuff he sleeps in his own bed......maybe at 6AM I will let him roll around my bed....I just can't get up that early lol but I would try to do it now and get him used to it. He might like it if there was a mobile or if it played music.

Hope it goes well

Laura - posted on 04/16/2012

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thanks for advice....at the moment ive brought the moses basket downstairs and he happily lays in there for a while trying to touch the spots on the covers so i think ill keep putting him in there a few times a day, then when he gets used to being in there ill put him down when hes asleep and just sit next to him.......hopefully he'll realise that even though hes not on me, im still there.



i know i used to get in bed with my dad when i was little and i totally dont mind, id love to have him come in from time to time for cuddles but i just want to try get him sleeping in his own bed for his sake as well as my fiance's - we shall see, i guess rome wasnt built in a day x

Laura - posted on 04/16/2012

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thanks for advice....at the moment ive brought the moses basket downstairs and he happily lays in there for a while trying to touch the spots on the covers so i think ill keep putting him in there a few times a day, then when he gets used to being in there ill put him down when hes asleep and just sit next to him.......hopefully he'll realise that even though hes not on me, im still there.



i know i used to get in bed with my dad when i was little and i totally dont mind, id love to have him come in from time to time for cuddles but i just want to try get him sleeping in his own bed for his sake as well as my fiance's - we shall see, i guess rome wasnt built in a day x

Nikki - posted on 04/15/2012

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My daughter is 2.5 and she still sleeps with us at time. There were times where I needed her to sleep in her cot and my method was firstly to wrap her so that she felt secure. A sleep specialist recommended that I wrapped her and I felt a bit unsure about it in the beginning because she hadn't been wrapped for the first couple of months. But she loved it and it made a big difference, she ended up being wrapped when she was in her own bed until she was 16 months! But hey, whatever ensures sleep hey! Then I would give her a big cuddle before bed and pat her until she went to sleep. To begin with this took quite a while but after a week or so she was self settling fine.

Leah - posted on 04/15/2012

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It's really up to you, what you feel comfortable with. All my children slept with us, nursed to sleep, the whole bit. My first went easily to her own bed at 3 when we decided it was enough, our second was more attached to mommy, but at 7 years, she is finally sleeping all night without coming into my room! Number three is on his own at 3 years old, no hassles. It really depends on the child, and what you want. Some children are more attached and will cry until you come, and some fall asleep fine... Not sure how helpful that was...

My personal thought is that they are only little once. Enjoy these sweet moments when you puts his hand on you and goes back to sleep. Before you know it they will be preteens and you'll wonder where the time went by!

Heather - posted on 04/15/2012

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Oh, I hate to say this, my son is going to be 6 is July and he still sleeps with mommy and daddy. It started at the hospital, his temperature wasn't staying up where it was supposed to be and the nurse gave the option skin to skin or under the heating lamp thing. I chose skin to skin. When we got home I was so worried he might stop breathing in the night I wanted him with me plus the breastfeeding thing too. We stopped breastfeeding at 2 1/2, but the wanting the sleep with mommy and daddy hasn't changed. It's going to be hard to get your baby in his own bed. I tried off and on, and it was like he caught on to what was happening, it worked a few nights and then the second I got up to go to my room after I thought for sure he was sleeping he'd wake up and follow me. Good luck. He's going to cry it out. And you are going to just have to let it happen. If you wait to long he'll get to the point he could climb out of his crib and then you'll have to worry about him getting hurt. Now would be the best.

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