3 year old came home with bite marks

Amber - posted on 10/11/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My 3 year old son came home from preschool Friday with a bruise on his thigh in the shape of a mouth. It's now Monday so it's been 4 days and he still has individual teeth bruises on his thigh so it had to be a pretty severe bite. I'm mad that his teacher never told me. She wrote me a note about my son pushing his friend and getting a time out and having an accident. This is the 2nd time this has happened this school year. I don't know what to do. I wrote her an email that I have not heard back on. Do I go above her and complain or write it off as kids being kids? There are 9 kids to 5 teachers in his class so how would they not see this going on? I'm so mad.

Thanks
Amber

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25 Comments

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Kerri - posted on 10/23/2010

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I'm sorry but i have to disagree with Jaime about "no kid should ever bite another child". I'm sure all the moms of biters were not impressed with that comment. Firstly yes, any injury to a child should be noticed and one that is severe the parent should be notified immediately. Unfortunately children bite, it is part and parcel of them growing up and usually when a child doesnt know how to express themselves, they bite. It is not always easy to stop biters from biting and it is an ongoing process. But YES children DO bite and YES it IS normal!!!

Kelsey - posted on 10/15/2010

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First of all if they dont notify you immediatly it is illegal! I would go crazy on someone if I went to pick my son up and and he have any knid of injury and me not knwo about it!

Nicole - posted on 10/15/2010

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I would most definitely address it with his teacher. He is there to be well looked after. I mean my son talks the world of nonsense but as soon as I heard that this child waspushing him I addressed the issue with his teacher. Amber, go chat to the teacher because if they never knew the other child was biting your child it means that they aren't watching him as they are suppose to.

Tasia - posted on 10/14/2010

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Honestly kids bite, most usually do it a younger age when they really can't speak for themselves just yet. Since it has happened twice and you haven't gotten notification of it, I would bring it up to the teachers face to face. If they don't do anything about it then I would go above there head. My son got several bites at daycare as well bit others. They always gave me a form to sign to let me know of what happened. They did that for both ways wether he was bitten or bit someone. With that may teachers they should be able to know what happened, if not they should be paying more attention to there students. Hope it stops for you, good luck.

Niki - posted on 10/14/2010

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I am having a tough time believing that no one saw something happen with a small class and a high number of teachers/specialists that are working with the children throughout the day. I direct a preschool, and when a child has an accident at school (fall down and scrape their knees, are bitten, scratched, etc) an accident report is written and the circumstances are documented. The document states what happened, who witnessed the incident, and the treatment that was given to the child. The director must review and sign the document,a copy is made for the center and the original is given to the parent. That way everyone is on the same page about what occured. I do know that under certain circumstances such as playtime outside things can happen that the teachers do not see. My daughter is two and comes to school with me, and a month ago i discovered bite marks on her shoulder that were bad enough to break the skin. Id never heard anything about it so i asked her teachers and they looked shocked. My daughter told me who did it, and, being that I work there I know who is known for biting, hiting, etc, and it made sense to me, but evidently my daughter never told anyone that it had happened, and it was a pretty bad bite. They were really apologetic, and, even though i wasnt happy that it happened and that i didnt know about it, it likely happened outside and she was a tough girl and didnt say anything. Kids can get away with away with more when they are outdoors and there are more children to keep an eye on. It makes no sense that an incident that serious was missed in a classroom with that few children. Im glad that you spoke to the teacher, and my hope is that they will do a better job of watching the children from this point on. Im sorry that your little one had to go through that.

Alicia - posted on 10/14/2010

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also tell your son if it happens to tell the teacher right away, and to tell you as well.

Alicia - posted on 10/14/2010

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Well I have worked in day cares and where I worked if a child bit another child we had to notify both child's parents, and we had to write an incident report. They should have talked to you when you picked him up the day it happened. I honestly would consider talking the the director or the day care and explain what's going on, and if it happens again find a new day care! good luck!

[deleted account]

I would go above her. Take pictures and I would note about the incident. I'm a little worried that this is the 2nd time this happened this school year. I would be beyond livid. It seems as though the teacher isn't paying attention to little man and watching the other kids closely bc in my son's pre-school there are more kids to one teacher and they have caught everything that has happened with my son and reported it back to me. He's had plenty of accidents and I've heard of why and what happened with everything. I hope things get better and you solve this! Good luck :)

H.J - posted on 10/13/2010

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Of course they are going to pass the buck! Keep a close eye on it and if your not happy with the outcome there is always the Education Department to go to

Angela - posted on 10/13/2010

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That's completely ridiculous, Amber! My kid's not a known biter either, but that doesn't mean she didn't bite the kid at her daycare like her teacher told me. She has her moments and I dont' doubt for a minute that she didn't do it. The fact that they're pretty much blowing the situation off is totally unacceptable.

Amber - posted on 10/13/2010

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A little update so I talked to the teacher and principle yesterday and they are saying there is no way it happened at school, that it had to of happen on the bus the bus driver of course said no way it happened at school. My son said a boy named shane was the biter the teacher does not believe him because that little boy has never bit anyone before and has been in her class for 2 years. So for now we have moved his seat on the school bus (which is all of 6 kids) but that's all they will do, ugh!

Angela - posted on 10/13/2010

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My daughter is 2 and has had a couple of incidents at daycare....she's hit/been hit by her friends and she bit a child once. The daycare makes sure they notify me about each and every incident the day it happens. They wouldn't tell me WHO she bit, just as if she was the one who was bit they wouldn't tell me who bit her. But the fact that you weren't told about it is the more upsetting thing to me. I would definitely talk to the teacher and her superior. They need to be telling you what's going on each and every day.

H.J - posted on 10/13/2010

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The teacher will not be able to tell you who bit your child legally because this would be a breach of confidentiality of the child who bit. However the teacher should have notified you as she would have had to have done first aid and if she hasn't why not? Take it higher as this is the second time. Just have a face to face chat with the teacher with such high ratios this should not be occuring... I wish we had those ratios here it would solve a lot of problems. I am glad to say I have not had a report in over a year that a child has bitten that we haven't done first aid on. The teacher should have filled out an accident/ injury report.

Lydia - posted on 10/12/2010

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I would go in to the school and try to corner his teacher to find out what they are doing to try and combat this problem and if they remain unhelpful then you have nowhere else to go but over their heads. Also, if you can find out who the kid is you could have a discrete word with the parents. My daughter has started to bite and its hard to try and stop her - by the time I realise she has bitten someone she doesnt understand what she is being punished for (she isnt yet 2). But I would still want to know what was going on if it was her doing it - because I cant do anything if I dont know whats going on!

Sarh - posted on 10/12/2010

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I personally would have gone above her the first time it happened and I was not notified about it. Is this at an actual school or a day care that provides preschool? I would say definitely go to a high up!

Amber - posted on 10/11/2010

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There's 9 kids and 5 teachers plus 3 specialists that are in and out of their classroom all day. I'm going to drive him to school tomorrow and have a chat with someone at the school.

[deleted account]

9 kids in a class and one bites another one? Come on, how would someone not see that, not hear the boy's reaction? A three-year-old is going to yell when he or she is hurt or upset, and I'm pretty sure being bitten would have upset anyone. That's outrageous.

Allie - posted on 10/11/2010

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Unfortunately teachers can't see everything that happens. I would start by asking your son who bit him and then go directly to the teacher(s) (even if there are other parents around). Most schools have some kind of "ouch" report that is supposed to be sent home with the kids, but that only happens if the teachers see it. So if your son continues coming home with bites then go to the director.

[deleted account]

If this is already the second time, you have every right to report it immediately. I would have done so the first time. Next time he may come home with broken skin, which could lead to all manner of horrors for you, especially being from a bite from another child!

[deleted account]

No kid should ever bite another kid. That's not right, and the teacher needs to have done something about it. She obviously isn't, so yes, go above her and report this. Puppies bite each other. This is not right.

Tara - posted on 10/11/2010

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I would request a conference with the teacher and her superior! Especially if this is the 2nd time! With such a high teacher to student ratio, this type of thing should not be a problem! I would go ballistic if my child came home with such a severe injury! You should have been notified immediately!!! No one is going to treat my child like that!

September - posted on 10/11/2010

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I would start by talking to the teacher face to face, no emails or letters. I would express your concerns about her not telling you about the bite and let her know that in the future you would appreciate her letting you know. Then if something like this happens again you can talk to someone higher up. I would always suggest addressing a problem with the person you're having the problem with. I'm sorry to hear about your son! I hope that he heals quickly :) Good luck!

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