5 yr old girl won't respond to ANY discipline!

Naomi - posted on 04/24/2012

my 5yr old daughter is horiffic i cant handle it much longer she actully laughs an smiles when i try to dicipline her like its a big game im at my wits end. iv tried time out the corner naughty chair sending her to her room, what else if there for me to do pls pls pls help me

Christy - posted on 11/18/2010

I agree with Jenn Time out. some kids respond to it better than others, so this might help you.

Sarh - posted on 11/18/2010

WOW! I'm sorry, I may not have any advice, but you are not alone!! My daughter will be 5 in January. She is the best manipulator. She waits till she is far away from you and asks someone, she also makes sure that the second person she asks did not hear the answer given just seconds to hours or even days later!!!! She as well misbehaves and throws tantrums.

We currently have her toy box in our living room because she lost every toy as well. She has lost her tv and even her snack, along w/some other things such as the park, going to grandma's, etc. We have tried the corner as well.

Mornings are horrible, from getting her out of bed, we have to stand her up, then getting her to get dressed, and then brushing/combing her hair is just a disaster, then onto the shoes and coat!!!

I have a 5 month old son as well I do not think he has caused any of this behavior as she has always been a holy terror!!!

When she mouths off she gets a slap on the mouth, seems to work for a bit. All I have to do is say "I'm going pop your mouth" and she stops lipping off, unless she is in a really bad mood. I have gotten e-mails and calls from school that she is not keeping her hands to herself, not behaving, and ignoring her teacher. She is mean to my mother's dogs, she pulls their ears, tails, lays across them and she is not light weight. She is a big girl, about 70lbs and 4 feet tall!!!!!

She listens better to my fiancee, but he works and when he is home he doesn't discipline her right away, he lets me argue and try first, even or an hour!



What we have found is that if we stay consistent, stern, etc. it works for a bit. Persistence seems to be the key thing, and after a time out, which we do 1 minute for every year old she is, I sit down and ask why she was acting the ways she was, if she understands why she was in a time out, etc.



I think it is the age, I was starting to think that she had some sort of issues like Anger or bipolar!

Another thing she does is, she will be looking right at me, not misbehaving, and I will be talking normal to her. When I am done, she looks at me and goes "What mommy?". Is this also a girl thing or should I have her hearing checked!? lol.



She is extremely smart for her age! I believe she is just very bored, even at school. I noticed you said your daughter is also very smart, maybe this is also her problem...?



GOOD LUCK!! I hope you figure something out and if you do please share!!

Hannah - posted on 11/18/2010

I agree that you should bring her to the pediatrician! at the very least they can rule out any developmental/emotional issues.
You mentioned that she is very smart - oftentimes it is the highly intelligent/gifted children that can cause the most problems. They are usually so bored in school that they are dusruptive. :) I know I was one of those kids! but that doesn't mean their behavior is acceptable. you can request that the school test your child to see if she qualifies as gifted, and thereby should get special more challenging classes.
Finally - I want to reccomend a discipline group that I really ADORE! they are www.loveandlogic.com
Please check them out! they work - and I have never had so much fun parenting!

Nicole - posted on 11/18/2010

My suggestion would be to take her to a doctor and tell them what’s going on, have her assessed and find out what is causing the behaviour. Ask for help and make use of any support resources you can find.

This is not a burden you should have to take on alone.

Nikki - posted on 11/18/2010

Hi Valerie, I have a community called Positive behaviour strategies, feel free to join, all the ladies have great ideas and lots of experience with different negative behaviours. Fell free to join and copy your post on our board if you like.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/positive-beh...

Valerie - posted on 11/18/2010

That was my exact plan of attack... and it worked "ok" at best. I can't exactly put her in the corner when she is supposed to be getting ready for school, or sisters soccer game, or pressing matters like that. She will even take it to the extent of not putting on her shoes to go to her favorite amusement park or not put on her bathing suit to go swiming (which she loves). at school... her report card shows that she is disrespectful and disruptive at school. I almost cried at her report card just because her grades are soo poor, yet the girl is extremely smart! I can't put her in the corner at school and she obviously exhibits similar, yet not as severe, behavior at school. I am at a loss!

Jenn - posted on 11/18/2010

Sounds to me like she needs to learn that you're the boss and she needs to respect you and listen to you. For me, temper tantrums = TIME OUT! The way we do it is, 1 minute for every year of life, so in your daughters case, that would be 5 minutes. If she gets out of time out, just keep putting her back. It's a grueling process but persistence is key. Once the time out is up, make sure you go in and talk to her about why she got so upset. Find out what you two can do to make sure that doesn't happen again. If she's just mad, let her know it's alright to be mad, just not alright to act the way she has been. Rewarding her for good behavior is extremely important. Praise her when she is good, even if it's only been for 5 minutes. Also, make sure you make time to just sit down and talk to her. She may just want to be able to spend some time with you and as you said, she may want more attention. Obviously, this isn't the best way for her to go about doing it but in the end, she gets the attention she wants, be it good or bad. Don't worry, things will get better. By the sounds of it, you're a great Mom. Good luck!