Geri - posted on 01/16/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )
I love my son so much. He is so wonderful, but sometimes I can't help but feel resentful at him. I think, "If I didn't have him, I would be able to be whoever I wanted and do whatever I wanted and not have to worry about being a mom." Then, I would feel so guilty for having those wishes in my heart. I would NEVER give him back but I sometimes wished I hadn't sad "YES" to my boyfriend that night. See, I'm not married which I feel makes it even worse! I know I'm more co-dependent then independent and not having that love and support from his father makes me feel so alone and cornered. And there is a lot of resentment for the father! I feel jealous and angry that HE gets to go out with his buddies, has his personal space, play his stupid video games, watch t.v., eat, sleep soundly, mess around with his music and all without worrying about his son!....While I'm feeding, nursing, changing diapers, giving baths, playing peek-a-boo, rocking my baby to sleep.....UGH! okay...well, someone please tell how to make this better!!! What do I need to change so that I will never have to say that I regret my son??? I really do love my babycakes!