A doctor telling me I shouldn't have my child?

Kristal - posted on 10/21/2009

My doctor who delivered my oldest son told me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. That I should have an abortion. Granted he knew my history and I was never supposed to be able to carry full term. When my son was born he kept suggesting I put him up for adoption. Of course I knew him for years. Went to school with his kids and neice and both his nephews. But still. I know I was only 18 when he was born but I'd been raising kids for over 10 years. Geez.

Kerrie-lee - posted on 10/21/2009

I think that is gross that a DR let alone anyone would make a comment like that. I know it's hard but I would just shrug it off he is ignorant. My sister is a young mom of two she will be 24 this January and she get's the same reaction from people and they look at her like Ohh your poor silly girl who got knocked up. Both kids were planned and she is a wonderful mom. I get the same myself I am 30 but I don't look it and I have three kids 5,2,1 most of the time people will ask me if I am the nanny, makes me want to slap them silly but just remind myself that is what a narrow minded ignorant person would think..

You know in your heart you are good mom so that is all that matters. :)

Melissa - posted on 10/21/2009

that doctor sucks. I had my first daughter when I was 20 and the next when I was 21. No one will tell me I shouldn't have had them or should have given them up for adoption.

Sharon - posted on 10/21/2009

what the hell that messed up he has no right to tell u u cant have ur kid...i had mah first child at the age of 16 the doc didnt say anything like that to meh..dont listen to the doctor he or she is stupid..

Tricia - posted on 10/21/2009

Thats BULL!! I am 28 and have 4 boys. Let someone say something to me. I got married when I was 17 and had my kids really close together. At least we will have the energy to play with our grandchildren. So, poo on them.

Zia - posted on 10/21/2009

I get either dirty looks or really adoring looks. i also get the question if its my first and im 25. doesnt seem that young to me. both drive me crazy too. im appalled a doctor said that though

Patricia - posted on 10/21/2009

Honey im 22 and have 2 kids and raise 3. I know the feeling. My oldest is almost 3 and my baby is 18 months plus i raise my stepdaughter who will be 7. talk about looks i get and words being said. I had doctors, DFS people, and tons of other 'big-wigs' telling me im way to young and im not responsible and that im not mature enough to handle parenting. HMMM I've been a stay at home mom for 3 years raising 3 kids and they are all very bright, well cared for, loved children who every babysitter we have had wants to watch again and again because they are so behaved.

Lisa - posted on 10/21/2009

Sounds like it is time to get a new doctor! I was 19 when I had my daughter and I have no regrets and go off on people who have comment on my age.

Demitria - posted on 10/21/2009

That is really stupid..I am 18 with a 9 month old. DUHH!

Nicci - posted on 10/21/2009

I would find another doctor! I am 23 with 2 children... I did graduate high school at 16 and have an awesome career and suport both children on my own if someone talked to me like that i would slap them and then my personal attorney would be contacting them for a law suit. Evolution is the process of change in society and today it is not what it was 20 or 30 years ago. People are starting successful careers at a young age and therefore wanting families younger. That is just stupid and the ignorance of people. However if you are young and cant support them and have not planned to provide then there is a problem but if you are then tell him to kindly kiss your ass!

Lori - posted on 10/21/2009

I had my son, who is 7 months, when I was 24 but I look 14, lol. I got/get dirty looks from people ALL the time and sometimes people will even make comments. Whenever someone says something about me being so young I just say I have good genes and I'm not as young as I look and flash them a smile. Sometimes I say it takes a lot of enegery to run around after little ones and older people don't have it so they should be allowed to have kids (which is just as dumb as telling me I'm to young.) Screw what other people think. Be the best mother you can be and worry about your family! And find a new dr!!..I'd report him too!

Nicci - posted on 10/21/2009

I would find another doctor! I am 23 with 2 children... I did graduate high school at 16 and have an awesome career and suport both children on my own if someone talked to me like that i would slap them and then my personal attorney would be contacting them for a law suit. Evolution is the process of change in society and today it is not what it was 20 or 30 years ago. People are starting successful careers at a young age and therefore wanting families younger. That is just stupid and the ignorance of people. However if you are young and cant support them and have not planned to provide then there is a problem but if you are then tell him to kindly kiss your ass!

Amber - posted on 10/21/2009

thats really weird girl. i have a son that will be 4 in jan. and another one that was just born last july. and i just turned 23. i havent had anyone tell me i shouldnt have had them, and i actually know a girl, that is my age and about to pop with number 4. you should report that doctor, or just go in there and be like, hi, im a grown up, i can have however many babies i want.

Stephanie - posted on 10/21/2009

I know how you feel I am 26 but my oldest is 7. I also have three other children. So when we are out people are always asking are all these yours. And I repond yes you can see there face like o my god what were her parents thinking.

Anneke - posted on 10/21/2009

I haven't recieved the looks and feelings that you are getting, but I had my first child at 22. I was engaged to his father when I was 21, then we got pregnant and married.

That Dr clearly has no respect for you. I'm sorry to hear people are treating you like that. But from the sounds of things, you are very well grounded and don't need to worry what people like that have to say!!

Kawana - posted on 10/21/2009

None of these people have the right to just tell you to your face what they think especially a medical professional. I would have went over his head to talk to a supervisor or something because this is rude and very disrespectful. If they tolerate this in a Dr's office than how are we as parents suppose to be comfortable with their care of us. I am so mad to even hear that something like this is going on. I don't know what else to say.

Danielle - posted on 10/21/2009

wtf! i pretty sure if my doctor did that id kick him in the nuts. No one has a right to talk to anybody about like that. 1) its really none of their business and 2) even though you are young you obviously are responsible because you chose to care for your child as opposed to shipping it away... not to say those who put their kids up for adoption are bad they just know that having a child is not right for them... im 21 single and have a 15 month old son. I may be young but i know what to do and how to take care of him no one has the right to make you feel like you shouldnt do what you feel is right. having your daughter is what was right for you.

Samantha - posted on 10/21/2009

I think you should file some kind of complaint!! That is riculous for him to say that to you!! You're 22 not 14??? I was 17 when I got pregnant and also got some terrible looks. I can't stand the way that some people judge me just because of my age and being a mother. I'm also engaged to my daughters dad and we have been together for over 5 years! We live on our own, and don't ask for anyones help. I think we are great parents. Just because you are older doesn't make you a better parent. People seriously need to keep their looks and judgements to themselves sometimes.

Jennifer - posted on 10/21/2009

I get this all the time, I was 16 when I had my first kid, and today people think she's my sister, they are like where's your mom and she is like right here and they are like wow i thought you were her sister. She is 10 and up to my nose in height so pretty soon we probably will look the same age, when shes a teen, because people tell me i look like i am 18 and i'm 27. when im old i will like that but now i dont want people thinking im a teenager when im almost 30. i dont take it as a compliment i just take it as people thinking i was like 10 when i had a kid

Lydia - posted on 10/21/2009

22 is young but not too young to have a kid! i got married at 19 and we just had our first child im 22 and she is 9 months old. i have not notices any dirty looks but im sure ive gotten them, i look even younger than i am.

Fran - posted on 10/21/2009

i have the same issue....i am 27 with a five and a 2 year old,married to there dad a home owner...and we still get looked at like losers. My kids are clean healthy and very happy! I would call the office and tell them that you will not be returning because of how the doc treated you.Tell him how wrong it was...hes a doctor not god! jerk!

Heather - posted on 10/21/2009

Yes. I have a 3 year old and I am 23. My husband and I have been to gether for 7 years and when the topic came up that we were trying again, my doc acting like he was going to have a stroke. I mean in the old days they had them as soon as they could. I know women that are way older than me and couldn't care les about there kids. Just pray for that doctor and the people. Pray that there eyes will be open to the situation. Don't let there comments get to you.

Charity - posted on 10/21/2009

That doctor needs a good old slap in the face!!!!!!!!!!! I was 15 years old when I got pregnant for my oldest son, the doctors I had were very professional about everything. They never once told me that I needed to get rid of or give my child up and if they had I would have knocked them the hell out!!!!!!! And as far as other people go telling you that tell them to mind their own damn business and walk away!!!!

Heather - posted on 10/21/2009

I know how you feel. I got dirty looks most of the time. Especially while I was pregnant, Who cares what anyone else thinks, At least your stepping up and taking responsibility of your child, unlike some wacko moms. They have no right to tell you how to run your life.

Heather - posted on 10/21/2009

I know how you feel. I got dirty looks most of the time. Especially while I was pregnant, Who cares what anyone else thinks, At least your stepping up and taking responsibility of your child, unlike some wacko moms. They have no right to tell you how to run your life.

Jasmine - posted on 10/21/2009

the bad thing is because of there profession they are not allowed to say that

Daisy - posted on 10/21/2009

I get this all the time.... I'm married 23 and I have 3 little ones. I had my first at 17 and gave up my entier world for him. Not that I mind lol, but thats usually what you have to do to be a good parent at that age. Most random poeple think that I am about 14-16, so you could imagine the looks I get when I'm with my little ones or talking about them. I think it's hilarious, I think Its silly that I don't get any funny looks when I talk about my business (I have an on-line cloth diaper store) but as soon as I mention kids and that I'm married, I get the "You have kids???, How old are they???, How old are you????" I just laught.

Leah - posted on 10/21/2009

wow get a new doctor i had both my boys before i even turned 22 he's a jerk and so is anyone who gives you dirty looks ignore them and brush your shoulders off

Bonnie - posted on 10/21/2009

Omg... He had no right telling you that. It is not his concern who you have sex with. I was pregnant on my 21st Birthday. Everyone thought I was too young to have a baby. Yet I am a great mom. I am a single mom since I was 2 months pregnant and I have done without so my son can have. My own father tells me he is proud of me. My son is the world to me. He is 2 years old and yea.. he can be a handle, but i know I can take care of him.

My father and Stepmother have there first child together finally. She is younger then my son and they both tell me " I don't know how you can do this alone" I inspire them. They ask me questions.. never thought of giving advice about childrem to my parents. LOL



At first they thought I should give the baby up, but now they know I can take care of my son. He is my life. So don't care what no Doctor says. Maybe the reason why people look at you funny is because they wish they had that beautiful baby. I don't even listen to people and what they think. It's DONE... leave it alone. just take care and always be safe

Sara - posted on 10/21/2009

How can a doctor be so RUDE! wow! But Props for standing your ground girl! Age is nothing but a number to me. I would so change me doctor if I was you!

Sara - posted on 10/21/2009

How can a doctor be so RUDE! wow! But Props for standing your ground girl! Age is nothing but a number to me. I would so change me doctor if I was you!

Andrea - posted on 10/20/2009

Wow that is horriable! I am 20 with a daughter who will be turning 1 Nov 16 and I have never personally had any experience like that.

However my daughters doctor treats me like I'm a moron everytime I ask her a question.

I can't believe a doctor would actually come out and say something like that.

If I was you I would be getting me a new doctor.

But other than that you shouldn't let it bother you.

Just let it roll off of your back.

Sara - posted on 10/20/2009

I remember that feeling when I was pregnant...the way I felt people were judging me, but honestly is you child is well provided for and loved then you can rest easy at night knowing you are a good mom.....forget the judgements from peeps that jus don't know :)

April - posted on 10/20/2009

22 isn't like 14... what the hell

Tiffany - posted on 10/20/2009

omg!!! u sooo meed to go to bbb, and find out whos his supervisor..that was extremely enethical of him to do. he has no right to tell u that! it is unprofessional and rude! Do not let him get away with this, and u need to switch ur dr...and as far as the being a young mom...dear, its prolly just bc u look young. i had mine when i was 18, n was prego at 17, n i ignored em all...u cant go around in life caring about what people think of u. its pointless and making u live everyone elses lives, not ur own. u need to live for u n ur family..forget what everyone else says, unless u are neglecting or abusing ur child, forget em! its nobodys place to tell u who or what u are. :)

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2009

No one should be telling you that! I am 25 and have 3 boys, my husband and I were married for a year and a half before we started having children, and have a very stable marriage :) Don't let it get you down, people judge people all the time.

Sage - posted on 10/20/2009

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. How unprofessional of him. When I became pregnant with my Oliver, I went to the doctors to confirm, and I requested a women doctor thinking I might need the extra support. Instead she was nothing but condecending and demeaning in manner as she talked to me about the pregnancy She basically said I was throwing my life away and would be bringing my child into a bad situation. I was 22 at the time, engaged already for two years to my fiancee, financially independent and with a good head on my shoulders. Despite this she did nothing but make me feel bad about myself and the pregnancy and went so far as to schedule an abortion for when I "really thought it through". I was disgusted by her and left, more determined than ever to have this baby. And now he's 4 months old and the most beautiful baby. It's truly unfortunate how ignorant and biased people can be. Just hold our heads up high, and know that we are damn good mothers and our children are lucky to have us as we are lucky to have them!

Brandy - posted on 10/20/2009

Quoting Conni:

I went to the doctor yesterday for my 6 week post partum check up and he said to me "well that's 2 babies down....I figure I will see you for at least one more before you are 25 which is perfect....by the time you are 45 you will be home free with a whole lot of life left to live and a few awesome kids to give you some grandbabies one day!" Some doctors are just awesome...I wish I could box mine up and send him to you...you would LOVE him! I'm sorry your's doesnt have very good people skills apparently. It goes back to the old saying "if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all!"

my first was born a month after i turned 20. planned pregnancy. i wanted my babies at a young age so i could really enjoy them.

because of complications though, i wasnt able to get my girls until i was 27 and 29.

anyways! with all of my babies i had wonderful doctors. where do you live? if you live in georgia, i have the perfect doctor for you. I love.....LOVE........my doctor. great beside manner. everything about him is perfect.

if any doctor said that to me, i wouldnt see him again. there has to be the perfect doctor out there for you too. good luck!

Kiley - posted on 10/20/2009

holy crap.. what a prick! just ignore idiots like that.. they prolly dont have kids anyone let alone a sex life. What do they know?

Steffani - posted on 10/20/2009

I get looks all of the time. I just turned 23 in Aug and my daughter will be 2 in Dec. What people do not know is I am a happily married christian woman. My husband and i have been married for 5 years this June. We waited 2 1/2 years before we got pregnant. And now i get even MORE looks because i am due with our second child in Jan. So here i am a 23 year old that has an almost 2 year old and a baby on the way. I try very hard just to ignore it. Its the only thing you can do. Also if i were you i would switch doctors. You do not need a doctor who will judge you.

Kathryn - posted on 10/20/2009

i had my daughter when i was 19 and i was getting looked at funny also and i hated it but i look at it hey its me and i do what i want and no1 can tell me what to do

Jannell - posted on 10/20/2009

Aww hun! i am so sorry you had to go through that! And believe me i compleatly know how you feel, i had my 1st daughter at 20! I get crap all the time about being a yong mom and i don't know anything or how to raise her and my 2nd which i had at 22.. funny hun, cause they are doing just fine and im prgenant again! so don't listen to people who have know idea who you are! and if they know you and they still judge let them, means they have no lives and the only thing they can do is to try to make yours as bad as theirs! *Hugz*

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

What the heck? That is the most retarded thing I ever heard! You are 22 and your daughter is 9 months? So you had her at 21? That is not that young at all! What was the dr thinking and anyone else as well. I can't believe that, it makes me mad. It's not like you're 15, geez. That I would consider young for having a 9 month old, not 22! Even if that were the case doesn't mean you couldn't be a good mom. Not too long ago people used to have kids much younger for heaven sakes.

Kara - posted on 10/20/2009

I am 28 and my stepdaughter is almost 10. Her mother is out of the picture, so my husband and I have her full time. Believe me, I get looks all the time at her school and other places. Don't worry about what anyone thinks. Every situation is individual and noone has the right to judge you and your family. As for that doctor...he should keep his mouth shut!

Katie - posted on 10/20/2009

I was 18 when I had my first child and people looked down on me...and now im 21 just had my second in september...and i have proved everyone of them wrong...:) and it is shocking to hear that from a doctor very unproffesional... :) have a good day!

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

be proud of what u have and what uv accomplished ppl are just jealous...keep ur head high and tell anyone who doubts u to kiss ur ass lol

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

How are you a young mother? you're 22!!! Most people where I live start having babies by 20, some sooner... I'm about to turn 22 and have a 2 year old and am 20 weeks pregnant with #2... the father is 20, and we've been married for 2 years!

That was REALLY wrong of that doctor.

Meghan - posted on 10/20/2009

Find a new doctor hun!! Love your babies and let people think what they want.Screw um!

Marie - posted on 10/20/2009

Dont feel bad.. When I was pregnant at 18 to my now husband. He told me that I was a high risk pregnancy and that my baby would be lucky to be 5 pounds... The funny thing is I had that same bastard deliver my daughter and she was 7lbs 5.9 ounces and a healthy little girl.. I laughed in his face and called him an ass after he was done sewing me up.. People are just too judgemental and it makes me sick.. Shrug it off and don't worry about it. Just concentrate on your little one and show her how much you love her

Jaclyn - posted on 10/20/2009

A doctor telling you this?! That is very unprofessional. I would report him to his boss if he has one then I would switch doctors. That is not his business. Im sure this doctor does things in his life YOU would not agree with, so who is he to judge?!