A doctor telling me I shouldn't have my child?

Jessica - posted on 10/15/2009 ( 379 moms have responded )

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I have really come to despise the way people look at some young mothers. I went to the doctors the other day because I had strep throat and when the doctor asked me if I had been around anyone that has been sick I replied "yes, my daughter just got over a cold" . He gave me a look then asked how old I was and if I had ever heard of birth control. WHAT! I told him I was 22 and yes I have heard of birth control. He then proceeded to tell me that at my age I should be more careful with my sex life! Excuse me? Yeah I may be 22 and have a nine month old daughter but I am also engaged to her father and have been with him since I was 16, I finished school and have been living out of my parents house since I was 16. What kind of professional has the right to tell me that I shouldn't have had a child? I am sick of it. Sure I can understand the concern that people have with young mothers, but not everyone is the same. I just can't take the way some people look at me when I am out with my daughter, older people aren't too bad, but in stores I get the worst looks. I have people telling me I should have given her up for adoption! How can people walk around telling other these things?
ARG! I am so mad. I am more responsible and caring than most mothers I know that are in there 30's. Have you dealt with anything like this? I mean, if a random person said it I'd be fine but a doctor?

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April - posted on 10/20/2009

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wow!! i cant believe that i was 21 when i had my first child..i have never had anyone tell me anything like that. im sure there are people who think it all the time and just dont say it aloud. but i dont blame you for being soo upset..i know i would be. i would have just told him that he needs to be professional and keep his opinions to himself!

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2009

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OMG!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT!!! it is no ones business what u do with your life!!! that just made me soo angry!! i just turned 22 a few days ago and i have a 7 month old!! unless this ignorant doctor is paying your bills he has no right to tell you what to do!! no one does!! i to get the weirdest looks from ppl im always asked how old i am especially when i go out with just my daughter and my fiance(her dad) stays home.. its the worst some people have no manners and obviously were not raised properly.. and I wish someone wold say something like that to me.. if i were you i'd put in a complaint with whoever you can about that doctor.. how unprofessional!!! Live Your Life And Love Your Child.. Screw everyone else... and half those people probably dont even have children or are terrible parents!!

Kynna - posted on 10/20/2009

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honey there is nothing wrong with havin a baby that young im 21 with 2 kids my oldest is 20 months and my youngest is 7 months... and my husband is only one of there fathers.... so what would that doctor have to say about that???

[deleted account]

Just think... 30 years ago people would have been wondering why you waited so long! Sorry but I didn't want to wait until I was in my late 30's or my 40's and not be around as long with my kids. I even get a few comments from my husband's Aunt because she just had her first and she was like 39. She kept telling us to wait like 10 more years.

Anne - posted on 10/20/2009

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Just remember, opinions are like armpits, everyone has at least two and they usually stink.

That is what I say to myself when faced with such situations.

Chantel - posted on 10/20/2009

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I haven't had anyone imply or tell me that but I've felt and seen the stares and looks of disgust. I must admit I'm glad I had my children young where I can enjoy and treasure them and remember the good times we are having. I know just like you do that there are worse parents out there biological, foster,and adoptive. Let them hate that they couldn't enjoy life's curveballs. Children don't need all the things the marketers push on new mothers they need food, clothing, shelter,and unconditional love and all the rest will come.So you keep up the Good work and take care of yourself and your new little one and I wish you and your family the best.

Kim - posted on 10/20/2009

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I am 22 also. I have 2 children. My first will be 3 years old in 2 months and my second is going to be a year old in exactly 2 months. In my opinion, people are extremely judgemental. I think your doctor's comments were out of line and improfessional. You need to find another doctor who will not ask questions of that nature. Your doctor is stating his opinion which should be kept to his/her self. A doctor is only there to treat you or your child, not to attack your character. Anyways, good luck to you and keep your chin up. Us 22 year olds can take care of our children equally or even better than the older moms.

Jade - posted on 10/20/2009

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Im 22 and i have a 1 year old daughter. When people see me with my daughter they ask if shes my sisster or im the babysitter. It makes me sooo mad its worse if my moms with me because they asume she is my moms. i might be 22 and married with a 1 year old but i look 16. people are idiots i kno what your going through. i world have told that doctor off and reported him hes a prick and i was on birthcontrol when i had my daughter i took it everyday at the same time proof that it may not work but i love her and i wouldnt know what to do without her. so screw those people and be the great mom you are!


 

Jade - posted on 10/20/2009

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Im 22 and i have a 1 year old daughter. When people see me with my daughter they ask if shes my sisster or im the babysitter. It makes me sooo mad its worse if my moms with me because they asume she is my moms. i might be 22 and married with a 1 year old but i look 16. people are idiots i kno what your going through. i world have told that doctor off and reported him hes a prick and i was on birthcontrol when i had my daughter i took it everyday at the same time proof that it may not work but i love her and i wouldnt know what to do without her. so screw those people and be the great mom you are!

Cyndi - posted on 10/20/2009

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ive had ppl look at me and my husband and just laught at us and give us these ugly looks as well. but you know what i can careless what other ppl think or have to say they dont know who you are or your situation so i just ignore the comments and stares and smile right back at them!!

Cyndi - posted on 10/20/2009

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ive had ppl look at me and my husband and just laught at us and give us these ugly looks as well. but you know what i can careless what other ppl think or have to say they dont know who you are or your situation so i just ignore the comments and stares and smile right back at them!!

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2009

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no one ever realises how many of us go through the same thing...and i was sittin here thinkin its just me! so thankful for you puttin this thread up... i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my daughter. I moved from my moms in with my partner when i was 7 months pregnant and had to change docs. I had to wait to see a midwife for over 6 weeks! then they put me with the 'teenage' midwife who specialised in teen pregnancies.

Well i was no teenager as I turned an adult when i reached 18 (the age my nan had my uncle). She was not very considerate at all! She treated me like i was stupid and had no clue what anything was...nether-the-less i had a btec in childcare, a medicine interact and first aid...as well as 10 GCSE's. I think she was the stupid one...she asks me if i had brought a urine sample, i said no as i didnt know i needed to (routine check-meeting midwife etc...) she didnt have any pots so she gave me what looked like this big grey sample pot, so i took it to toilet...low and behold she had given me the sample sticks! so i took them out and pissed in her pot and gave it back to her like that. Well she wasnt too happy hehe. then a week later she tried to force me to have a blood test - which she got half way through after insisting her 'student' do it and i ended up throwin the needle at her and walkin out after 5 attemps to get it in my vein ( i have briliant veins). I went to front desk and changed my midwife...got a nice new one who was amazing.

next story....when i had my daughter i had a bad time in hospital (v.bad with peads doing things they shudnt etc...) so my partner and i self discharged our baby. we had to see the top consultant at hospital. well she came in and looked at me...and before discussing anything asked me where i lived, did i have an education, did i have a job, how old i was and then started on my partner (who was 27) asked him his job and age...we found this damn right rude and intrusive....how rude. the next day when they sent the health visitor out to see our baby girl she told me that I had done the right thing by takin her out the hospital!

Some medical practioners should so not be doing the job they do.



When I was 9 weeks preggers i went to see a midwife to confirm pregnancy etc.. and meet and greet and you know what she said to my partner bare in mind i was 19....." what a wonderful young lady you have picked to have a baby with, she is of perfect age and perfect health, you should be proud"



I wish I had stayed with her now and not moved house lol.





i have stares in the street cus to admit even though im 21 now (my dd is 21 months) i do look 17/18 but i cant help my pure skin hehe it aint my fault i look after my body!



I can say im a brilliant parent...my daughter is amazing and me and her father are still together. Were gettin married in the US Virgin islands in a few years and plan to have another baby within the next two years...wonder what doctors will say to a 24yr old that has two kids???? cant wait cus i have the strength from Brianna my little girl, through all the bad times to just turn round and tell them nasty people about themselves.

Christina - posted on 10/20/2009

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Im so sorry that you had to go through that! I have had a lot of people say things like that to me also I have 2 kids and they are 2 and 1 years old and Im only 24. It hurts the way people look at you and you just dont get why people are so judgemental!! I have a husband but if Im ever out with just me and the kids then I get comments like you should of kept your legs closed if you where going to be a single mom! Dont let anyone get to you!! You are a strong woman who has been on your own for a long time now!! Congrats on your little one =)

Shelley - posted on 10/20/2009

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I'm sure you are a wonderful mother but it must be so hard not taking what he said to heart. Try and rise above it, not easy either but you will also be a lovely young nana (god willing) and are young enough now to enjoy them and have plenty of energy! Take care

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

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I totally understand what you mean. I was 16 when I had my first child and although my doctor was awesome and totally understanding I had many strangers come up to me and say rude things and I'm sure other mothers in the doctor's office were thinking bad things too. Not to say I support having kids as young as i did but I wouldn't change it for the world, she is my everything. I graduated High School early and continued on to college. There is no reason to assume that just because we are young that we can't still do everything we wanted to.

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

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I totally understand what you mean. I was 16 when I had my first child and although my doctor was awesome and totally understanding I had many strangers come up to me and say rude things and I'm sure other mothers in the doctor's office were thinking bad things too. Not to say I support having kids as young as i did but I wouldn't change it for the world, she is my everything. I graduated High School early and continued on to college. There is no reason to assume that just because we are young that we can't still do everything we wanted to.

Nicole - posted on 10/20/2009

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wow. i just turned 21 in april. i left home when i was 15. got married and had our daughter when i was 17. got custody of my 11 year old brother when i turned 18, and had our son when i was 19. LOL. i have a 4 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and a 14 year old...and i just was able to buy alcohol! hahahha. i think i am a kick ass mom and i dont believe it has anythign to do with your age. it has to do with your maturity and your heart. there are older people who haeno heart and turn out to be horrible parents, just look at mine :) . But if you are a young mom and you take good care of your children, then i have tons of respect for you. dont listen to anyone, because no one should mean anything to you, except for those babies!!

Cassandra - posted on 10/20/2009

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Honey I know you've already got a lot of feed back but I'm have to tell you that all these lady's are right. I'm 28 and going on my 4th child. A month after I turned 18 I gave birth to my first and I got all sorts of looks. I still get a lot of looks when I go out. It doesn't matter that I married to the love of my life, stay at home to raise my children, or act more responsible and more mature than a lot of 30, 40, or even 50 yr moms do, I still get judged. But you know as long as you're doing the right thing for your little one than all the looks, comments, and judgement shouldn't mean a darn thing. I know how much it can get to you. I want you to keep in mind that the only ONE that has the right to judge is the Almighty Himself!!!!!!

Emily - posted on 10/20/2009

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I get these responds all the time too. I'm also 22 and my son is 4 yrs old and I am 7 months pregnant as well.I remember once I was diciplining my son in a store and somebody told me why dont I let his mother do that I looked at her and told her I am his mother and she gave me the look of digust. I have come to realize no matter where we go there is going to be sombody who sticks there nose somewhere it doesnt belong. I know i'm a good mother and i give my family what it needs. I moved out when I was 17 and been working full time ever since so yea I inderstand where your comeing from as well.

Laura - posted on 10/20/2009

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How rude and inappropriate! I've met people who have become mothers in their 30s and don't have any idea. You just carry on taking good care of your baby and change dr's...good luck xx

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2009

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Oh ya! But mostly when they notice that I dont wear a wedding ring! Its super annoying! Like you said you take responsibility for your actions! I have too! I havent asked anyone for anything and it bothers me because others dont know my situation and just judge!

Kerry - posted on 10/20/2009

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F them!! lol.. I have never had a experience like that, but I am also 22 and pregnant with my 3rd child!! I don't care what anyone says or thinks about it.. I've never really had anything bad said from a stranger.. Ive had one day where people were giving me bad looks when I also had my 5 year old stepson with me that day. But, you shouldnt care.. dont let it bother you..change doctors and tell them that every baby has a purpose in life and GOD put that baby on this earth for a reason!!

Amanda - posted on 10/20/2009

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I am 21 and about to give birth to my first child. I had been with my boyfriend for over two years when i found out i was pregnant and we got married (a very happy marriage I might add too) My mom was 16 when she had me and quite frankly I can tell she regrets it sometimes, but me I think I could never regret a baby. my husband and I, despite the fact we are 21, we feel very blessed that we are having a baby and are entirely ready and prepared to be loving parents. ( I will admit we are a bit lucky being that he is in the army and we have tons of help via resources here at our post, besides our families) but honestly as long as you are prepared for it and you put your full effort forth then you will be great parents, at any age! I havent had a doctor say anything negative like that towards me (I started off with a midwife back home in my homestate of NY and then transferred to a military doctor down in TN where my husband is stationed) and I think this day and age, doctors need to have better people skills and realize that abistinence is not a practicing way anymore. If their patients have doubts, then they could offer advcie then however they have not right meddling in their patients lives unless it affects their health to be pregnant! I agree with everyone when they say change your doctor. You need to be completely comfortable when this person is dealing with your health and not maintaining a biased opinion of how his patient lives their lives!

Holly - posted on 10/20/2009

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I can totally relate. I'm only 20 and I have received more prejudice being an unmarried young mother, than I could have ever imagined. The night I found out about my pregnancy, the doctor was a complete jerk to me. I went to the hospital for some severe stomach pain Feb 27 of this year. My boyfriend walked me over and stayed with me. When the doctor came in he started asking the routine questions. When he asked about pregnancy it took me by surprise, I hadn't even thought of the possibility. He asked, " Are you on birth control?", which I had just quit to try to switch to a new brand, so I told him no. Then he looked over his nose at me and said, "Are you having unprotected sex?", to which I shook my head yes. Then he had the nerve to say, "Well, Missy, that's how things happen. Are you trying to get pregnant?" And I said No, we're not trying to. Then he stiffened his lip and went "Mmmhmm." and left. When the results came back he stood at the foot of my hospital bed with his head down Glaring at me with his hands behind his back, like a ticked-off police officer, and said "Well...you're pregnant." And stormed off. I couldn't believe how he acted about it. Like I had just contracted the plague and wanted to spread it to the world or something. I was shocked. What's with people these days? Like I can't do a good job? So, yeah I feel your anger about it.

Vicci - posted on 10/20/2009

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Hi jessica, i was 22 when i had my 1st baby, i think its wrong for a dr to tell you that, if you can give this baby a loving family and all the affection the baby will need then i dont see a problem with having the baby. My sister was 17 when she had her 1st baby and ppl looked at her funny but she is a great mum to both the boys and she married the father to the boys some ppl are just rude and need to get a life. I would understand if you was 15 and was still a child your self but being you are an adult and your taking care of your baby i dont see any problem with it at all. Just do the best you can for your children and love them and who cares whtat any1 else says. i know mothers in the 30s who cant look after themselves and she had 3 children and couldnt look after them. If you can provide a loving caring home then there aint a problem. Good luck with the birth of your baby

Stephanie - posted on 10/20/2009

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OMG thats was so rude of that doctor. My mom had me when she was 19 and she is a great mom. I wish I was a couple years younger when i had dexter.

Becky - posted on 10/20/2009

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honey im a 28yr old mother of 4 so yes ive been there done that! not all people are mature for there age!! some young people are more mature than the older ones!! people need to mind there own buisness and respect that you are a young mother doing what is right raising your child!!! as far as the doctor goes i would definatly be finding a new one and giving him a peice of my mind when i left there!! seem your doing a great job so dont worry about them and just love your baby!!

Jacquelynne - posted on 10/20/2009

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I am 24 and due anyday now with my 3rd. My kids are 6(almost7 yes I had her befroe I was 18), 5 and then this little guy on the way and I am happily married to there father and have been since I was 18, we decide to not get married till we were ready not becasue we had a kid together. I had gotten so many looks when I was 17 even at the hospital the day I delivered. In my mind it is the mentallity that determines if you are a good mother or not. My mother is 44 and due to very complacted reason myself and my siblings have nothing to do with her becasue even at the age of 44 she is not capable of being a mother. Your doctor had no right to treat you that way and if anything should have given you credit to the fct that you as a mother stepped up and took care of you child while they were sick despite the fact that you knew you would get sick as well that right there defines you as a responsible and good mom even if in your mind it is a little thing, it is in your nature.

As far as the birth control thing goes f your doc all 3 of my children where conceved on the pill, but as it says on the package its only 99.8% effective.(Hubby is getting snipped to save us from anymore). The nerve that some prof. think they have becasue they make top dollar off us that they assume they can treat us in such a manner.

I am sorry to here you had to have this experience and I hope and wish you luck in finding a new doc that will treat you with respect despite your age and family situation.

Mollie - posted on 10/20/2009

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I'd change doctors and maybe report him to the board for his practice. That's just ridiculous.

Lynn - posted on 10/20/2009

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I think its wonderful you are engaged to the man that is the father of your child. Heck, now days is great you KNOW that man that is the father of your child. And you are 22?!? What is wrong with that? I am have my house up for sale right now and everyone that has come to look at it is a 18 or 19 year old couple who is looking to buy a large house because they are prego or trying to be prego.... this has me angry and its nothing I have even had to deal with! I would recommend asking him to keep it more professional or looking for a diff doc.

Amanda - posted on 10/20/2009

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I don't think that anyone professional or not has the right to tell any mother or expecting mother they shouldn't have a child because honestly if god didn't you needed a child he wouldn't give you one. I am 20 years old and just turned 20 in Sept. and had my baby in August. No one at all has the right to say that to you.

Tammerah - posted on 10/20/2009

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I have had the same problem with my previous OBGYN. I was 21 when I got pregnant and when I went for my first visit, the Dr. looked at my age and said "YOU KNOW YOU ARE REALLY YOUNG TO BE HAVING A BABY" She also wouldn't let me start my maternity leave before the baby was born because she said "You need money to have a baby".(Even though I was a makeup artist and made money and my boyfriend makes plenty of money as well) She made me work til the end when I was border line preeclamptic and a diabetic. Oh yes, and she also immediately gave me birth control to start after my baby was born without asking me if I even wanted it! So it totally angers me too, when Doctors treat young mothers like they are incapable of being a parent. Being a mom is the best feeling I've ever had! I've since changed my OBGYN and my new doctor is great. She asks how I feel about things and takes care of me...instead of pushing her personal opinion. A doctor should give you guidance and good medical advice, but not be judgemental.

Girl, if you can, I would suggest searching for a better doctor.

Tyshani - posted on 10/20/2009

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What I think is interesting about your experience is that it wasn't even a pregnancy doctor. So he doesn't have any idea what is going on with you. I had my first child when I was 16. My mom told me I could either drop out of school and raise the baby, or I could give it up for adoption. With those being my only options, I let a friend of the family adopt her. She's 7 now, knows she's adopted, and the parents have promised to tell her who I am when she asks. I got pregnant with my son when I was 20. He's 3 and a half now and his father wants nothing to do with him. My daughter is almost 5 months now, and I'm engaged to her father. So everyone has a different story. I had to go to a clinic yesterday and fill out a bunch of paperwork. When the doctor saw that I had 3 children, he actually asked me about their fathers. I thought it was really inappropriate and felt a little uncomfortable considering that I was there to get a bump behind my ear checked out. When I told him my first was adopted, he nodded and said "Good, good" and when I said I was engaged to my daughter's father, he actually smiled and looked relieved. He told me that was the best for my son. I don't know why some doctors want to be nosy about parts of life that aren't their specialty, but I guess everyone wants to put their two cents in. It's still irritating though, so I feel for you. Also, I would go to a different doctor.

Maggie - posted on 10/20/2009

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You know, we all hold doctors up to an expectation that may actually be unrealistic. The truth is, they are people. And people sometimes say things meaning to be helpful or even just making conversation, and might not realize that they are being terribly offensive. And even if he did realize it, he might be thinking that if it helps you then he is willing to offend you a little in order to make you see his point. However, I DO consider that to still be rude. I guess I always try to see other people's points of view so I don't get too upset over it, but I can see why you would be mad.

Summer - posted on 10/20/2009

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I understand your feeling, I was 18 when I had my daughter. I was 17 when I had all of my prenatal visits so, I had a doctor tell me that I had to have my parents come with me to my appointments because I was still a child. I was like excuse me.... I do what I want and I am finding a new ob doctor..... I still get those looks and and opinions and I just look the other ways or just give them my opinion also.. My daughter is now 7 and do not look old enough to have a 7 yr old still. so, it is just a part of life. The best thing to do is SMILE at everyone and keep your head up.... I do and its makes me HAPPY.....

Danielle - posted on 10/20/2009

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I have a friend who is 20 yrs old and on her second child. She is so great with her son. What I think goes on is that more and more women these days are waiting till they're 30 or a little older to start families (I see nothing wrong with that) so I think what happens is everyone sees people who are younger as too young for having children. I had my first child when I was 23 and got looked at like that. I just turn the other way. I don't deal with people like that. Your doctor had no right to say that or make you feel that way and that doctor needs to remember why he went to school to become a doctor. You could get that doctor in a lot of trouble for saying that not to mention if you go the other way and do word of mouth and I'm sure there will be a lot of mothers that would stop going to him just because of that comment to you.

Melissa - posted on 10/20/2009

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OMG! That is just horrible! I would sue the crap outta him! That is just out n out disrespectful and discrimative if you ask me! Im 21 and my daughter is 18 months old. I got pregnant when I was 18 and had when I was 19. Her father and I are still together were not married yet but seriously. I dont think it's the age that matter's, its how you were raised that makes you the mother you are today not your age. Of course with age comes maturity but its not like your 15 having a baby! Just ignore him and anyone else who says anything to you. And if they do you could always come back with " Oh im sorry, did I ask your opinion? Because I dont think I did." lol

Danielle - posted on 10/20/2009

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I cant believe that a doctor would say that to you. 22 is plenty old enough to have a child.

Joelle - posted on 10/20/2009

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i am also 22 and i have two healthy happy kids, i have been with there father since i was young my oldest is almost 4 and the school system wanted him in pre k at 3 my youngest is almost 2 and also pretty smart so your doctor has no right saying anything it is your choice and if you love your child that is the best thing to do

Nikki - posted on 10/20/2009

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Hi Jessica,

I just had to respond to this. Your doctor was out of line, end of story! I am 26 years old. I got married at the tender age of 16 years. A lot of people didn't give us a year to last. I can happily report that we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on the 21st of March and we are a very strong family. We have had four, yes, FOUR children. I had our first child when I was eighteen, our second child when I was nineteen (they were 14 months apart), our third child (who was stillborn) when I was 22, and our fourth child when I was 23. And here's the real baffling part to most people.. (brace yourselves).. we want MORE kids! haha! People always think that I am older than I am, which totally stinks.. but anyways, I don't get comments on my age in comparison to being a mother, but I get comments about how many children we have.. When we get comments from people, my absolute favorite is "Don't you know what causes that yet?" I love to give a kind but sarcastic response that baffles people. For instance, when a woman, who didn't even know us, came up to me in WalMart and said "Don't you know what causes that yet?!" I looked at her with the biggest smile on my face and responded "YES, we do.. and we LOVE IT!" ROFL! She didn't know how to respond to that one and she smiled and walked away! hehehee!

Samantha - posted on 10/20/2009

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I know exactly what you mean.. im 21 and i have a 4year old and a 9months old ive been with thier father for 8years and i am engaged and getting married next summer.. just take no notice of them, say this is my life and i do what i want and think is best for my children and that it has nothing to do with them

Holly - posted on 10/20/2009

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Also, I had my first child at 17. If any doctor ever insulted me, my intelligence or my family like this one did, I would report them and they definitely would lose me as a patient. No one has the right to tell other people how to live their lives; especially professionals and people that are not related to you. Advice is one thing, but interference is another. No one has the right to tell you what you should do with YOUR child either. I chose to give a daughter up for adoption a couple of years ago, because I was careless and her father was MIA. However, this isn't an easy decision, so how can anybody just tell someone that they should have made this decision for themselves and their child? Would they do that if someone told them to give their child away because that person didn't agree with their life, life style or whatever the case may be? I highly doubt it.

Holly - posted on 10/20/2009

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WOW! and who is he/she to day anything about your family or insult you in that matter? I can't believe you went in there for Strep and was told that you should be on birth control, basically. I don't get the audacity of some people. Some physicians are way out of their league and believe they know it all. So, is he implying that if you're on birth control you won't get strep? I would find a new doctor if I were you.

Rebecca - posted on 10/20/2009

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i had my first child at 17 and second at 18, and i know how you feel, i was born to be a mum, and i have provided for my children ever since they were born, i am now 24 and my boys are 6 and 5, i still get looks, at first it really annoyed me, but now i don't let it bother me, i don't smoke or drink, i have a beautiful home, and my children are really happy little boys, and i feel proud of myself and so should you, i have seen mothers who are in their thirties and can't even control their children out in public, they shout and smack their children without a care in the world, also have you ever watched "super nanny?" its a documentary about parents who can't cope with children, and you never see young parents on there, they are all in their thirties and struggling to cope. Here in Scotland, they have just brought an advert out about age discrimination, they quote "isn't it time we turn things around and see the person and not the age" i now bear that in mind whenever i get people staring at me. xx

Claire - posted on 10/20/2009

25

7

7

i cant belive so many of your docs have said bad things its disgusting they are there to diagnose not judge i am 24 with 2 children both planned people look at me like i am a benifits bum or incable when i am married, working and mortgaged i provided for my children in every way possible and my kids are happy and healthy and well bahaved most of the time i am young enough to enage with my kids whereas older people struggle round the soft play i am proud if my life my choices and my kids and that is all that matters to me sod em!

Heather - posted on 10/19/2009

12

28

1

I know the feeling. I feel people are always looking at me wrong. I had my daughter at 21, in fact i had just turned 21 the month she was born. No doctor had told me that i shouldn't have given birth at my age but i did get the birth control bit lol. Didn't work out too well, my husband didn't want to wait two weeks to get it so we were like whatever...if another happens it happens, at least im married. Don't stress on what people have to say or think on you, as long as your doing right in being a good mother. Maybe us young moms can proove people wrong that we can do the job just as good. I know alot of people who have kids young these days and even younger then I was.

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009

26

13

4

I was 21 when I had my first child and had been married to her father for 3 years and we had bought our own house the year befor. People would always come up to me and assume that I was an underage teen mom. My daughter got really sick whe she was a year old and dropped down to 20 pounds.The dr decided to instead of find out what was wrong she wanted to accused me of not feeding my daughter!!!! Me and my husband both went off and took our complaint to the medical board and she was fired!I later found out that she has H.F.I.,no thanks to the Drs!!

I am now 25 and I have a 2 1/2 month old son and I still get people telling me rude things about my age. I just tell them that I am smart for having my babies young,I get to enjoy life when they grow up,i get to enjoy there children and I still remeber what it was like to be a kid and I still know how to have fun with barbie dolls!! So I think I my kids benefit from me being "young and immature".

Nicole - posted on 10/19/2009

5

16

0

It's my personal opinion that 22 isn't that young. My mother was married and had 3 kids by the time she was 23 (she ended up having 3 more after!), and nobody said a word about it. I think that as long as you are doing what you know is right, screw everyone else! I still get weird looks from older people because they think I'm young (23 but I guess I still look 20, not complaining though! lol)

I would've told the doc to screw off, but thats just me. Don't take it to heart though!

Tiffany - posted on 10/19/2009

23

6

4

People are inconsiderate. I'm 20 years old, had my first at 18 my second at 20, their only 17months apart, heard it all. just smile and keep your head up, your a great mother and you know you are so just ignore it and find a new doctor. There's been one to many case's of young mother's not caring for their children properly, or throwing them away so dramatized that some people automatically assume that all young mother's are the same, which their not. A few years ago this was the age EVERYONE had their babies, how quickly people forget that.

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