A family health problem- please help

Mary - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi everyone. I have a rather large problem I do not know what to do with. My grandfather, my kids great grandfather, has found out that he has terminal cancer and has a little less than a year to live. My oldest daughter is about 2 and he is her best friend. My youngest is 4 months and loves to take her afternoon naps with him, when he is having a good day. My problem is, my grandfather is getting worse daily, he is almost completely bed ridden. How can I help my kids cope with his lose. Their doctor said to let them spend time with him on his good days, but he is having fewer and fewer of those now. They have called in hospice, to assist in his affairs. I am afraid that I will be unable to help them when he does pass, due to my own greive. What should I do?

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What you should do is get each of them a little "chest" that they can decorate on the outside with paints, gems, etc. On the inside, let them put things or little memories of great grandad into the box. Let them continue to collect things, ask your grandad if the kids can go through his house and take pictures or in the yard of all the things they'd like to remember, take pics of great grandad (from albums or frames) and place in a memory book for each to place inside their chests. Trinkets, etc. Have grandad write down a little special note for each of them (help him if he needs it) so they'll always have a special memory. Write little stories of fun outings or days or occasions had with great grandad.

When he's passed and they miss him, they can go to their rooms and spend some alone time going through memories of great grandad. Perhaps you make one for yourself as well???

Also include a blank journal for them to write things down as they get older, how they feel, things they remember, etc. They could have a really bad day and jotting it down could help loads. And just always be there for hugs, cuddles and have lots of tissues nearby.

I hope this helps, although nothing could really help but time. Think happy thoughts and remember him how he was, not how he is now that he's sick xxx

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