a question for a friend

Kristy - posted on 01/23/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )




My friend has 5 children and her and the father arent together anymore, she wants to move, but the father has threatened her that if she leaves she can't. She's got another job in another and a place to stay and wants to take the kids with her, and tell him at the last minute. Can she get into trouble for doing that even though there is NO Court Order or Custody Battle?

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Jessica - posted on 01/27/2011




unless he gets a battle going before she is moved she should be ok.. sense there is no court ordered agreement. but if he gets the ball rolling(if he decides to) before she is moved she wont be able to move more than 150 miles from where he is. but im almost positive that they cant make her come back if she does move as things stand right now.

Kimi - posted on 01/27/2011




The courts will not force her to live anywhere, all they can do is figure out who the kids live with and who they visit. She needs to take him to court to sort this out before she goes. A judge might not side with a mom who alienated a father from his kids and this will eventually end up in court no matter what she decides to do.

Alex - posted on 01/27/2011




from what i know IF they have been to court and organised custody ie : the court said he has them every weekend then she can only move half an hour to an hour away MAX from where he is living, but if they have no such thing she is free to do what she likes, but keep in mind that after she moves i think he can get a custody situation organised through the court and she might have to move back (not sure bout that tho)

Trish - posted on 01/27/2011




if his name is on the birth certificate he can get her for kid napping...she did know that he didnt want her to take them...tell her to go to court and get a custody agreement i believe the worst that can happen is him getting partial custody but she can still leave...if she has them and has been taking care of them she should get primary custody.

Erin - posted on 01/27/2011




I know in canada in my situation, I have no legal documents stating I have custody of my daughter. they call it an implied custody, since im the one who looks after and supports my daughter, not the father. Only way I can explain it is under the same general thought process of common-law marriage. its implied.
Also, if she feels threatened in any way or feels her kids are in danger, she should have full rights to get herself and her family out of that situation.

Antoinette - posted on 01/27/2011




the easiest way is to go to the courts and show that it would be beneficial for her and her children to move. that way if she gets a court order giving her permission he can't make her come back.

Kristy - posted on 01/23/2011




Well I know for a fact they aren't together, they don't live together either. But she tells me hes got 3-7 other woman possibly pregnant or has children with him and in his house he has his new girlfriend and several kids

Christina - posted on 01/23/2011




Nope. Unless there is a court order KEEPING the children in the house, she needs to leave. The courts won't order her to return. Not only that, but he can't force her to stay with him. She needs to record his threats because she can actually get a restraining order against him for that.

Jackie - posted on 01/23/2011




Actually it depends on the state that shes currently living in. Some states will let it pass but other states will make her return the kids to the state the father is in. However if their moving to the same state then nothing can be done. Tell her to be sure to check the laws in her state.

Kayleigh - posted on 01/23/2011




technically.. No, she can't get into trouble for that as long as he knows where they are shortly after they move so he can't claim they were kidnapped... in fact some social workers will warn mothers that are having problems with the father that if they don't get a court order the father can just take their child and leave with them and the police cant do anything.
so technically its under handed, but roughly legal... and he would have to go to court to resolve the issue if she did decide to move.

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