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About to have the father walk out!

Melissa - posted on 05/11/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

2

0

Me and the man I am with now, broke up about 8 months ago. I was told I could not get pregnant as is. Well....I got with someone for about a month in all that and just happen to get pregnant. I didn't know when me and my ex got back together. Now the biological father wants to control everything or he wants nothing to do with the child. Even down to he does not want the man I'm with (which he has been amazingly understanding through all this) to be called dad at all, even though he is the one that's going to be there 90% of the time. So I'm pretty much on the verge of just writing him a letter stating he has no rights to the baby. Not sure how to word the letter and if he does come back to see the child I want stipulations in place. Can I get some help with the letter please? I want to be sure what to put in the letter and what not to put in the letter. Thank you.

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4 Comments

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Medic - posted on 05/11/2012

3,922

19

As usual I think Jodi said it all and perfectly.

But let me reinforce some of it...
YOU have NO right to terminate the biological fathers rights, you can't even tell him when and where he can see HIS child. Hence why we have the court system.

For all you know the courts could give him 50/50.

Stop acting like a child and thinking of whats best for you and think of what is best for this child whom didn't ask to be born into this mess.

Children are not property to be bargained and fought over. They do not deserve to be lied to just to suit one parents selfishness.

You should think how you would feel if this baby calls the biological dad's girlfriend or whatever mom. Everything is a 2 way street.

Jodi - posted on 05/11/2012

20,677

36

It's not your place to tell the biological father he has no rights to his baby. Because he actually does have rights. It is also not your place to tell him WHAT rights he has and when he can see the child. That right belongs to the courts. If you want to stipulate the conditions of his contact, you need a lawyer and a court order.

With regard to what the baby will call its step father, neither you nor its father should dictate this. It should be left entirely up to the child. However, the child DOES have a right to know and have a relationship with its father, whether you like it or not. If the child chooses to call stepdad "dad" then so be it, but while I agree that bio dad can't dictate that, you shouldn't be pushing the issue either.

Rachel - posted on 05/11/2012

444

43

I would get a lawyer. he has no right to tell you what you can do with the child as far as telling you what the child will call your boyfriend. I would not let him control your life. Good luck

Louise - posted on 05/11/2012

5,429

69

I think you need to seek legal advice. This man has rights as he is the biological father. He does not have the right to tell you the baby can not call your partner daddy. That has nothing to do with who is the father but total control. Speak to a lawyer and get them to write the letter for you so this man knows he can not push you around.

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