Advice from moms with big age gaps between children...

Brandie - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering how you moms with 5+ year gaps between children are handling it? Pros or cons? Any Advice? How is the oldest getting along with the other child(ren) ? My husband and I are trying for another child and my son will be turning 5 this year. Any opinions will be appreciated :)

~Brandie.

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9 Comments

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Erin - posted on 01/21/2010

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I am a first time mom but my boyfriend has custody of his 5 and 3 year old! They are both great with our baby. The 5 year old is a very proud big brother with the baby. He has been picking on the three year old more though. Just start prepping him... Our 5 year old only knew I was pregnant after I was already 6 months because of his mother causing problems. Once he found out he was so happy! My sister and I are 11 years apart and she helped out alot with me growing up!

Catlin - posted on 01/21/2010

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My son turned 5 3 months after our daughter was born. He really likes to help out with everything! We've noticed that O thinks that her brother is the best thing ever. she does things for J that she won't do for us (like eat rice cereal) and he cracks her up constantly. I love the age gap, because J is old enough to understand that babies don't understand how to wait, etc. that younger kids might not get.

Delta - posted on 01/20/2010

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There is going to be a 10 year gap between our oldest and the 2nd child when we get pregnant with him/her

Shannon - posted on 01/20/2010

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Well I dont have a 5+ gap but my son is about to turn 5 and I have a 6 month old. Honestly I think that its a great gap because my 4 year old helps out ALOT. he is always running to get the diapers and help me out. He is always trying to help out in everyway. And always wants to play with him which REALLY helps when i need to get stuff done. And he knows that James can not do certain things so he never gets hurt with is big brother around.

Brandie - posted on 01/20/2010

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Thanks guys. I was just concern about time management I guess.. I don't want my son to feel left out or that mommy doesn't love him as much any more. That breaks my heart. I talk to Kameron all the time about how the baby won't be able to do much with our help or if he's going to be a good brother and help the baby.. That sort of thing.

Jem - posted on 01/19/2010

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My eldest 2 boys were 6 and 7 when Adam was born and then 8 and 9 when Angel was born. During school time it's great to be able to have time with the 2 youngest and then when the Matthew and Benjamin come home from school, they take it in turns to play with Adam and Angel so I can spend one to one time with each of them. Ten when it comes to cooking and housework I get all 3 boys to help with things that they are capable of doing.



During school holidays and at weekends it can be very difficult to find activities that they will all join in with and enjoy, but I've found the best indoor activities are, art and craft, baking and hide and seek, that way they are all equals!! Outdoor activities revolve around a ball or 2



One thing I found really helped, especially when trying to find time to listen to the oldest 2 reading was to curl up all together and get the older ones to read their books as a bedtime story for the youngest, great family cuddle time and a way of making them feel involved and important.

Susan - posted on 01/19/2010

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Alex will be 4 yrs 11 months when the baby is born. Growing up with brothers that were 4-9 years older than me, I never really noticed a difference, it was weird when my oldest brother moved out, then my other brother went in the Army. I think it was weirder being the only kid at home, than having a large age gap. I'm glad Alex and the new baby will be 5 year apart, I couldn't handle having 2 kids super close together lol.

Tah - posted on 01/19/2010

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i have 3 children 13, 8, 3 and the older were always helpful. and the baby is there baby you might as well say they help out without having to be asked. we also make time for just myself and my husband and each child on a indiviual basis...5 years is a goos age because they want to help and love baby...

Samantha - posted on 01/19/2010

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I am a first time mom but I can tell you about my experiences as a child of such a family. I am the oldest of five children, the youngest of them being 19 years my junior. Like any situation there are pros and cons either way. Being the oldest I had a lot of responisibility even as a young child around the house. I was able to help my mother out with things as I got even older, and the next oldest was also. But on the downside, kids born so far apart sometimes have trouble relating to each other. There can also be jealousy issues. All of these problems can be ratified with proper communication and understanding. Families can make things work no matter what the situation may be.

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