advice please.

Stephanie - posted on 06/11/2010

Things like this have to be proven to be really harmful to a child for them to really do anything.y but if you are really concerned about this child do something! I do think that is what I said. I am not nor do I eve judge Parents or people I became a mom a month after i turned 17. I got PLENTY of crap for that. So I do not My point was stating what is illegal BUT there are reasons an I know that. I do not always do things by the book nor do I think other parents should it is you. Your child will turn out the way you raise them unless they get luck. That is how I see things. She was asking to talk about things an ask people what they think an that is simple what I think... not saying that you are being rude but it is coming off a little judgmental, I study an child care an case work. pin point of what I have worked on. Not every parent dose things right. Not ever parent knows what to do but it dose take comen since, Do you want you child to hear? do you want to take that chance? of bad teeth? Things like that. If it is that big of a deal to you then do something about it. But make sure it an there are reasonable things to blam.

Marissa - posted on 06/11/2010

I'm not saying this to be rude, but I would just stay out of it. It's not your baby, they can parent her however they want. Although they might not be making the best decisions for the child and I also feel bad that the child has to listen to blasted music playing in the car, it's still their child. My son was also forward facing by 10 months because he had reached the maximum height limit for the rear facing position. So you don't know, it could be the same for them. What's not right is parents constantly judging other parents. If you don't like it don't look, because ultimately, it's their decision and you can't change it, whether it's the best thing for the child or not. Another option if you feel you just can't but out is like Danielle said. Talk to the mother and find out why they are making the choices that they are and that might give you more peace of mind.

Stephanie - posted on 06/11/2010

Oh wow well I try not to judge other parents but this seems to be an issue. The music is really not that bad, But With them having it so laud it is shacking things out side? an the car? I think that is a little to much. I have always had loud music around my kids its good for them in the since getting used to things.. Anyways, the car seat thing is uncalled for an is very much illegal Giving the child milk like that really wont hurt. You can give a child some of those things but also needs to be on formula the problem with that is once you always give it real milk an flavored at that, the child is more likely to not want the formula, an not being able to bye formula? is full of crap they prolly don't want to take the time an make it. Point you can get help with things like that. Giving the child milk in there crib yeah is bad if you do it take it away an at 9m isn't that's great really cause there teeth are just starting to come in.... Well I guess what I would do get real evidence that can stick to the court or dhs whatever it is called where you live.Things like this have to be proven to be really harmful to a child for them to really do anything. see if there house is messy an not taken care of if they are dirty things like that. take pics if able to sounds crazy but if you are really concerned about this child do something! an make sure it'll hold.... Well after I had re read something i have another comment about the car seat thing as it is illegal an they do not recommend it, it is very hard to up a child that has grown an weighs just was to much rear facing, Get them out of the carrier an have them in a big rear facing right? Seems to be simple but.. as it is had to put a child that has grown an has long legs to be agenst the back of the seat very uncomfortable. I had mine face rear until they were about 11m. I could be a little wrong it just goes on what you think an there weight. (dont want to be to judgmental)

Danielle - posted on 06/11/2010

i honestly dont think the forward facing car seat at 6 onths of age is wrong at all. My daughter was faced forward at that age to and OMG it made such a difference with her travelling :). But that is the average age in australia.

Also im not a fan of cows milk before one, expecially NOT flavoured milk. BUT i know a 7 month old who's DR recommended she went onto cows milk because she couldnt have formula and she doesnt have a problem with it. And Honestly at around 10 months old i probably let my daughter have a "taste" of flavoured milk.

i dont agree with music being up heaps loud. BUT some kids to prefer it because the vibrations calm them down whilst travelling. ..my daughter is nearly 2 and if the radio is turned down she cracks it,lol..she LOVES music..but i do not have it on heaps loud.

Maybe she doesnt want to get a job because kids grow up way 2 quickly and she doesnt want to miss out on anything..the first yr is especially important cause they change sooo much and have soo many "firsts"..And honeslty if i could afford it i would prefer to stay at home and i sure as hell wouldnt hire a baby sitter.

What i would do is get to know the baby...check for signs and signals of the baby being distressed. If the baby looks healthy and has a good temperment then i dont think there is much to be concerned about. TALK to the mother and find out WHY they turn the msic up or give cows milk...DONT judge her or put her down or jump to conclusions. Just be a friend to her and find out honestly how she and the baby are and IF there really is anything to be concerned about before you do anything.

Jodi - posted on 06/11/2010

I have to agree with Shannen, I had my daughter turned around in her carseat around 9 months, not only was she correct the weight, she was also walking and climbing furniture, and physically developmentally ready for it. As for the milk, it is only SUGGESTED we wait until a year to introduce milk or berries, plenty of parents give their children milk before a year, much like peanut butter, fish sticks and honey are introduced earlier than advised. As for putting your child to bed with a bottle in the mouth, yeah, it's controversial and again, not advised, but lots of parents do it. Lots of very good, well meaning parents do it. The music sounds a bit excessive, but they say the truth is somewhere in the middle, perhaps your friend exxagerated? Maybe not, I don't know.

I'm not saying I support everything they do with their child, but nothing they are doing is illegal or outright deadly to their child. They are the parents, it's their decision. If you're that concerned, talk to them...repeatedly, or call the local authorities. But if it were me, I would keep my dissaproving thoughts to myself on this one and thank God I knew I was a good parent.

Shannen - posted on 06/11/2010

Personally, We had our child FF at 6 months( legal in australia) and she was the correct weight to be turned as well. I'm sure my daughter had chocolate milk at around nine months although not an everyday only thing she drank way. My children were BF til 6 months then weened to full cream cows milk from then and by the time they were 8 months they were on full cream cows milk all the time and yes if i had chosen i could afford formula. I personally know plenty of mothers who let their children fall asleep with bottles. I was one who would give my children both bottles of warm cows milk to go to sleep and then once asleep i would go and get it. I don't work but my husband does. Everything i did and am doing and will do with our new baby when it arrives is seen as normal in Australia, well except for the cows milk. My children who are 2 and 4 are two very healthy outgoing children they are clean, warm and loved very much by heaps of different people. And i would hate to have someone try and tell me that how i am raising my children is wrong.

I guess what i am trying to say is just cause you don't agree with the way they are raising their child doesnt make it wrong. And none of the way you raise your children makes you right or wrong either.

Besides the music how was any of what they are doing dangerous?

Renee - posted on 06/10/2010

Doesn't sound like they are the greatest parents at all, and I feel bad for this kid as well. I used to work child welfare and unfortunately there is not a whole lot that can be done about it unless the child is being neglected or abused. I am not sure if your area has "Safety Services", it is a step lower than having full out child welfare involved...Our Safety Services program was set up for parents like you are describing. Otherwise just keep trying to talk with the parents and let them know what they are doing is dangerous to the child. This can also push them away from you if they are a friend or have them get mad at you for "sticking your nose where it don't belong" or for telling them how to raise their child. Even though they seem to not know what they are doing...