After 4 kids and a 5 yrs relationship how do you get back on the horse again?

Dana - posted on 08/17/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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So here's the deal. I'm 24 with 4 children 5 and under and i just recently ended my relationship of 5 yrs. I've never been much of a dater so now that i'm back on the market how do i go about the dating scene with 4 kids?

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Kalli - posted on 08/27/2012

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If you're religious try going through a singles group at a church - they usually have functions where you can meet other single people. Try reconnecting with old friends who could potentionally introduce you to new people - maybe some friends who are outgoing/have a wide variety of friends in the social world. Also, as Taboo as it is maybe try a good online dating site where at the very least you can meet new friends. (And when I say "good" I mean something that you pay for as opposed to free ones) And while I understand where Jodi is coming from I don't necessarily agree with it being "too soon" When I was married to my ex husband we had both checked out of the relationship long before I was divorced. So by the time we were divorced I was ready to get back in the saddle and find someone new.. I think you know when you're ready and I didn't introduce my husband now to my kids until the time was right - so you don't necessarily have to involved your kids in your "dating life" until you feel like the relationship is serious. Good luck to you I thought it was hard with 2 you have double the work!

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Dana - posted on 08/27/2012

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I agree with you to a certain extent but truly my question was more about my needs as a woman. Not looking for a father figure for them because they already have plenty of them. My point is I'm young and am ready to start living again. At this point like I said not looking for a man to "play daddy" per say therefor there is no need for a man to even meet my children unless i decide to be serious with him.

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2012

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You don't. At this point, I would say that it is way too soon, not necessarily for you, but definitely for the kids. How *recent* are we talking? I think you need to give it some space and first and foremost focus on your children's needs, focus on getting things right in your parenting relationship with their father, and having a safe and comforting routine for them.

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