Ah, I'm so nervous!!

Elysia - posted on 04/21/2010

Its hard to tell you not to feel self concious because it wont take that feeling away. I didnt find that the way i felt stopped my sexual desire, and if your uncomfortable then do it with the lights off and under the covers. Or if your not ready then dont do it at all. For the random soreness i wet a washer and left it in the freezer then laid down with it on.

I only waited around 2 weeks before my partner and i were intimate again and we just took it really slow and made sure it was very moist. And to be honest it was one of the most amazing times as there was something special there.

Ashley - posted on 04/20/2010

I've found that my husband has some kind of selective memory and vision. We never had a problem with that (I felt a little insecure at first, but he was very sensitive to my feelings). He apparently saw me as the figure I was before I got pregnant. We even looked at a picture of me when I was eight months pregnant, and his reaction was, "Whoa, I don't remember you being that big." They say elderly people look at the past through rose colored glasses, yeah, men look at your figure that way, too.

Carolee - posted on 04/20/2010

Honestly, he won't notice NEARLY as much as you do! And I mean that, for every 10-15 stretch marks you see, he might notice one. Most men PREFER the way their women look after having a child. I would suggest buying some sexy clothes and maybe practicing with a "toy" if you're worried about the pain factor.

Rachael - posted on 04/20/2010

Dont have sex if you're not ready, or maybe if you want you can try and if it hurts just stop. im sure you're husband will understand. just be careful cause that is when you're most fertile. as far as the way you look, i completely understand. i have stretch marks and baby weight still and my son is almost 2. im very self conscious about it. my boyfriend tells me all the time that im beautiful but i believe differently. the more he tells me tho the more i believe it. i mean come on, hes not gonna tell me im beautiful a million times a day and not mean it, right? if you dont feel comfortable letting him see you just yet, turn the lights off, keep your clothes on, make sure he promises not to look at you, theres a few things you can try. once time goes on you'll feel more comfortable but for now just take it slow

Tiffany - posted on 04/20/2010

So i partly know where you are coming from. Both on the having sex after boot camp separation and sex after having baby. Just not at the same time.

This may sound disturbing. but when my hubby was in basic he told me about games the guys would play to ummm get off. Needless to say he will be more than ... happy... with whatever he sees. It is going to take a while before your sex life gets back to what it was before. It has taken me 7 months now. I am back to pre-baby weight but still don't find myself attractive. What with the loose skin and sacks on my chest. Hubby disagrees with as much fervor as i believe.

Take it easy the first couple of times and talk your feelings through with him. If he makes you feel secure then great... if not you have to find it in yourself. There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman. If you tell yourself that you are sexy than sooner or later you will believe it too.

Keep us updated with how things go. And good luck

P.S. don't make fun of him for not lasting very long. He has been thinking about it every night for the past month and a half (with no relief). And in guy terms that is FOREVER!!!

Valerie - posted on 04/20/2010

make sure you get the go ahead from the doctor first...go slow and don't have sex if you are not ready...know that your husband loves you just the way you are...maybe go for a tan or two over the next couple of weeks....

Arlene - posted on 04/20/2010

I can definatley relate. Its been 4 years since my son was born and 2 since my daughter and I still dont feel as attractive as I did 6 years ago when we married! Its tough but when he tells you that you look great, he means it. I know, hard to believe a guy when he says you look good and you think just the opposite. But my husband gets so mad and turned off when I talk down about my looks.



And I was just as nervous getting back to sex after my kids. Just take it slow and dont be afraid to tell him if your just not ready.



It will all work out. Unfortunatley the stretch marks will never go away, Ive just had to accept that, though im digusted everytime I look at them,lol. But just knowing that after all these years my husband is still here with me means alot.



Army?Where is your husband at bootcamp? Mine was in ft benning a little over a year ago and now we're here in Kansas . . ugh! lol. Any idea where you'll be afterwards?

Rebecca - posted on 04/20/2010

All I can say is don't feel obliged to have sex until you're completely ready.. Just because you're husband has been away is no reason to have sex now.. Wait until you're comfortable but trust him when he says you're beautiful, you have done a wonderful thing bringing a child in the world you should feel very special and you earned those stretch marks, be proud of them. :) If you do actually feel like you want to have sex then take it slow and relax :)