Almost lost the baby because of babys father&family.....

Kylie - posted on 06/30/2010

if he is like that now will he want to see the baby even if you do keep tlaking to him??? i think you need to do what is best for your baby and you, talk to your doctor i'm sure they will tell you to keep your stress levels down. what would be worse that the baby never or rarely sees this man or that the baby comes way to early.

Marissa - posted on 06/30/2010

almost lost my little girl at 7 weeks! it was scary! my husband and i had a fight and i got stressed and the next day i was bleeding a lot and they ( doctors) told me i had a threated miscarriage ( 50/50 chance of having the baby)so what i did was i cut off all thing that stressed me out and took up yoga for pregnant women and now i have a beautiful healthy 1 month baby girl!

Crystal - posted on 06/30/2010

from what you hav told us it sounds like this boy doesnt want to have this baby with or be apart of it cause of the way he is disrespecting you and your unborn baby dont need that. My real dad left me when i was five and my mom raised me with help from my grandfather who i view as a dad. You will do great and let that selfish boy do himself gl..

Ammie - posted on 06/30/2010

cut him off now . My sons father was angry to find out i was not having a girl. and i kept him in the loop . I never told my family about it and just let them see it for them self. If he wants to be there he will but if not no one can force him . My ex parents try to get him involved but he tells them that I am rich and don't need any help.lol which is not true but i am lucky to know that i don't and didn't need that stress. and you never know not contacting him might make him want to find out . Good luck and know that you will never be the only single mother outthere there are millions of us and we are strong and will stand together!

Josie - posted on 06/30/2010

In my opinion, I absolutely think YES you should cut off contact. F those people, you or your baby don't need that. You need to relax, being prego is stressful enough. Wait till your baby is born and then get a DNA test. If he stills decides he wants nothing to do with your baby then cut off ties and file for child support.

Jessie - posted on 06/30/2010

where I live if the potential father demands a paternity test and it turns out to be his child HE has to pay for the entire paternity test process. tell them assholes they can have to test when the baby is born but until them you aren't going to have contact with them for your child's safety. you can laugh in their faces after the test results come back.
my little (half) sister was denied by her father until the paternity test results came back. no one believed my mother about who the father was = they thought it was my father (they had just gotten divorced) or some other guy she dated before she got married to my father. anyways the stress of living in a small town with gossip and my sisters dad and his family talking sh*t about her affected her pregnancy. she actually lost 50 lbs instead of gaining weight and my sister was a few weeks premature. people didnt even believe she was pregnant because you couldnt tell and when she had my brother and I she was huge, lol. anyways my sister looked just like her dad when she was born (still does 15 yrs later) and after some icky court/paternity/custoday/child support crap she now has a healthy relationship with him. it might work out in the end or it might now. either way you will be an amazing mother

Amy - posted on 06/30/2010

You are best to be without stress in your pregnancy. Think about what's best for your baby and you. I'm sorry that him and his family are not loving and supportive but you are stronger without them. You will have a great bundle of joy in your arms in no time and that baby deserves a healthy momma and a healthy life!

Ashley - posted on 06/30/2010

I don't really know what you are going through cause I have not been through it, but I have had friends that have. If you feel it will hurt your baby more than I would get him out of your life. You want what is best for the baby. As for his seeing the baby in the future I would say that if he doesn't even care that you could have lost the baby then just don't let him be apart of the babies life. I hope I don't sound too rude and that my advice has helped. Good luck with everything. If you want you can send me a message to talk to me more.

Belinda - posted on 06/30/2010

If he doesnt want to see his child that will be something he will have to live with later in life... but if you continue to let them treat you like they are there may not be a child in the future to worry about... unless you want to lose this child I would cut off all contact and take the fathers ass to court, prove DNA and get a court order that he has to at least pay for the baby he help create even if he wishes he hadnt. Thats my advice... Good luck I hope all works out for you!

Carla - posted on 06/30/2010

I personally would forget him change your number and ignore him compeletly, i feel for you i really do but you need to think of the innocent baby growing inside you, if the father doesn't care about you or his unborn child then that is up to him, You need to do the best you can for now, if he does decide to do the right thing then he will be there in the end for your child, i wish you all the best and hope it gets sorted out very soon TC xx

Emily - posted on 06/30/2010

at least for now, for the health and well-being of both you and the baby i think you should cut all ties. dna tests will have their time after the baby is born, until then there is nothing you can do but concentrate on what is healthy for the two of you! that amount of stress isnt good for the baby and you better believe he/she can feel it! just stay away from the baby's father and his family! a baby is a joyful experience -dont let them rob you of that, it isnt worth it. when the dna tests come back positive you can probably bet that the legal battle will follow so save your energy! and remember... they can only upset you if you let them. dont let them get to you anymore... you are stronger than that and better than that! just let it roll like water off a ducks back, they arent worth the aggravation if they are being this immature, insensitive, and selfish about the whole thing!! good luck!

Sheryl - posted on 06/30/2010

you said you doesn't want you to have it. thats why his mad cause he does not want any rep. to you or the baby. don't wast your time. that your child. sound like the only thing he is the dna doner. even though he don't want to be. he should have thought of that before for he had sex. don't worry about him.

Sascha - posted on 06/30/2010

STOP CONTACT. You love your baby and a baby needs love. If him and his fam. can't give that to you well then I say F them. Maybe they will come around and maybe they won't. You baby has you! Sometimes love is enough. Let them go and for now just love your baby and keep the stress out of your life. All that matters is that baby. You can't make a male be a Dad. It take a man to be one. Until he comes around or you find Mr. Wonderful all of us Moms are here for you. Godd luck sweetheart. Stay strong little baby your Mama loves you!

Sheryl - posted on 06/30/2010

sweetheart! cut him off! don't talk don't noting. just hold your head up high. people like that aren't worth anytime or worry over. when he calls don't answer block him and them. or even change your number. when they see you just till them go get a life. i got one you go it one and if they try starting something go get rest. orders! an not stress. sounds like you would be better off with out him and them. so would that baby. cause it sound like they don't care to have one or want one. do what it best for that child and you. that you child your lil joy and blessing from the lord. its not your or the babies falt it theres they need to grow up. there not worth the stress just think of all the joy that baby is going to bring to you and just love that baby! if you need anyone to talk to you can add me or just message me. hang in there! this is just a storm it well pass!

Julie - posted on 06/30/2010

If you cut off contact now you can have the chance to have a healthy full term pregnancy. After the baby is born do the paternity test and I hate to say this but..."let them eat their words!" Sometimes all people need is that proof. As well as the family will back off and hopefully feel completely ridiculous and sheepish after the paternity is proven. Don't stress now. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Now that I have my little one I love him soooo much...but also still miss the feeling and wonder of pregnancy. Enjoy it. There can always be the battle when your baby is safe in sound in your arms instead of in danger before its born. Good luck and I'll pray for you.

Ava - posted on 06/30/2010

Nope. Stop talking to him.

Georgia - posted on 06/30/2010

if it were me i would probably stop contact unless to update him with info about the baby (just so he can't say you never told him what was going on) then, once the baby is born have a dna test-- and laugh in THEIR face.
but document your feelings in a book, if things turn out good, you can show your child how hard it was at first, but through love it all worked out- if it doesnt then you can show your child that you TRIED to make it as easy as possible but the father and his family are a bunch of idiots :) good luck hun, and keep that baby safe!

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

Your baby comes before anything else. You want to do everything you can to make sure that your baby is safe and healthy.

Brittney - posted on 06/29/2010

I agree with Amber.. You DO NOT need that kind of stress right now! I never had to go through that thank goodness so I don't know how it feels but I can tell it's something I know you don't want to go through. If you lose your baby because of immature people who don't care you are going to feel really bad. I'm NOT saying it's your fault that they are acting like that so please don't take offence to it. But if I was you I would totally cut off all contact with him and his family until the baby is born. I think they will have a change of heart when they can actually see the baby in person and see what a beautiful gift the baby is to everyone. I hope this was helpful =)

Amber - posted on 06/29/2010

I kinda went through something similar I left my baby's dad and found out I was prego 2 days later and put off telling him for 2 months because I was afraid of going through what you did or are going through..once he did finally find out all he could do was yell and scream at me so I did cut all contact with him and it was for the best because I think I might have lost my baby if I would have kept talking to him at all! Being pregnant is hard enough you don't need a guy harassing you it is probably best if he is denying her my ex is now doing the same thing but I feel it is better as bad as that sounds I do not ever want my baby girl around someone like my ex he and or his family are not good people and I love my daughter way to much to ever want to put her through what I went through with him! It is all really up to how you feel but after you see that little face you will never want your baby around anything bad and to me this guy and his family seem like not so good people! Anyways take from that what you like but I can completely understand where you are coming from!

Morgan - posted on 06/29/2010

drop him! if he and his family are gonna cause that must stress on you hand your baby its obviously not a healthy environment to raise a child in.

Sharrae - posted on 06/29/2010

I agree with Heather! I would email him plus send a hard copy of a letter detailing why you have to break contact with him and his family. Stress is definitely not good for the baby. Distance yourself because if you think their trying to cause and abortion by adding stress, it might get physical. This sounds like the potential for a dangerous situation. If after the baby is born and he wants a relationship, i'd start out with supervised visit. Please take care of you and your baby!

Jessica - posted on 06/29/2010

you should definatly cut off contact. you gotta get in the habit of doing whats right for the baby, and right now those people are not good for your baby. the way you talk, he may not want to see the baby in the future no matter what you do. maybe eventually him and his family will grow up and realize they have been totally immature and ridiculous, but thats not gonna happen over night. right now what you need is a nice break. dont answer the phone for those late night screaming calls. dont go to see them. avoid the places you are mostly likely to see them as much as you can. put yourself in a much less stressful situation. if not for you, then for that little bundle of joy trying to peacefully make its way into an already plenty stressful world...

Tia - posted on 06/29/2010

Girl I know exactly what you are going through, because I went through the same thing, the exact same thing with my first child and my advice to you is to not worry about it, you do not need any added stress or anything like that. Because losing your baby is not worth it at all. I stressed so much with my first child that my water started leaking at 7mos all the way up until I had her. As long as you know that he's the father, that's all that matters. Wish you luck hun.

Lacye - posted on 06/29/2010

wait to contact him when you have the baby. you don't need this stress. as soon as you have that baby, give the fucker a dna test. prove him and his messed up family that it's his and then take his nappy ass for everything he's got! but right now, you don't need this crap. if you have to, put a restraining order against his family for harassment. let them bitches laugh at that. if they don't comply, well they get to have fun in jail.

Emma - posted on 06/29/2010

what a selfish man and his family dont sound much better! who needs someone like that as a father! cut the contact!

Atinuke - posted on 06/29/2010

Do what's best for you and your baby and that is cutting off contacts for now. You can contact them when your baby arrives but trust me, you really don't need all that stress right now.

Tiffany - posted on 06/29/2010

Im 12 weeks pregnant and just recently notified my baby's father and his family that I will no longer be calling or going to there house anymore. When he found out I was pregnant he told me to get an abortion needless to say things between us haven't been good since. But for some reason his family still haves it in their mind that he'll be there when the baby comes and I honestly feel like they dont see anything wrong with the situaton and act like everything is all roses. I told them I wouldnt speak to them til the baby came, Im not stressing over that sperm donor or his family. My baby means the world to me and I would be heart broken if I lost him/her because of them. Don't feel bad do what's best for you and your baby...your pregnancy should not be stressful at all.

Rachael - posted on 06/28/2010

I agree with the others, cut contact to reduce stress now and resume contact once bub is born so they know who their dad is.

Christina - posted on 06/28/2010

I would cut off contact for now. It is what is best for you and your baby. Just tell him it will only be until after the baby is born. After the baby is born call him and if he doesnt want anything to do with you two then you know he wasnt good for you guys

Michelle - posted on 06/28/2010

Youre not wrong at all do whats best for you an your child!

Kathleen - posted on 06/28/2010

tell him that until you have the baby healthily, you only want to have contact through email. and let someone else do the checking of the email, because just reading that can really mess w you. that way in the future, yoou can have records of all conversations from here on out. you do not need that stress in your life right now.

Jenna - posted on 06/28/2010

Honey, your baby is number 1 priority. Stop seeing him, stop talking to him. Get protective orders if you need to. This is not worth your health or the baby's.

I understand how you are feeling. I'm 31 weeks and last week I came very close to major complications due to too much stress. I nearly wen tinto a diabetic shock because the stress I was under triggered all my insulin to be used too quickly. This all happened because of my Mother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law. I had family members making it clear I'm ruining thier family and I even had threats of bodily harm made to me. I've already been warned by my doctor that I can not have any repeats because I'm dangerously close to my due date and much more prone to hormone issues.

Please, please I urge to speak with someone and get some protection and help. If the baby's father is this much of a d**k now, what could he be like when he finds out for sure the child is his?? He may not turn into Father of the Year, he oculd turn out to be more irrresponible and harmful than he has been so far.

Please contact your local Dept of Social Services, Sheriff's Dept, Police, and your OB. A lot of times your OB will step in convince agencies such as those for temporary protection orders. Don't put this stress on your baby and don't put it on you!! Good luck and stay safe, hun.

Jessica - posted on 06/28/2010

You definately don't need all that stress right now! If I was you I would quit talking to him and his family and ignore them if I saw them when I went out. You can fight for child support or what not later. That's what I'd do.

Nqobile - posted on 06/28/2010

What you should do is just keep away from all the stress,you may think that you can handle it but you don't need it.When the baby is born,I am sure that the father would want to see him or her.But make sure that you tell him,that you are no longer keeping cantact.He mite get ideas that you are running away from him and he would even take away the baby from you,by getting the law involved.If he dosen't come back to be involved in the baby's life then that his loss,but make sure that he is when the baby has arrived.Evry child deserves a good father,all the best.

Tiffany - posted on 06/27/2010

A stress free inviroment is whats best for baby. Tell him that if he wants to see his child then he needs to be mature and grow up. I have had the same problems (but not anywhere near as severe). I have seen my daughters father once since I was 4 months pregnant, and that was because I made him sign the birth cert. so it would be easier for child support. He still doesnt want her or care, but hey, thats one less problem in my life.

Alexa - posted on 06/25/2010

Thank you all so much. To answer your question christina he was always very unreliable for support through our relationship, and i broke up with him the day before i found out i was pregnant. He told me to get an abortion over and over, but that decision isnt right for me. He was angry I wouldnt get one, said I was being stupid. He didnt want a baby and decided he didnt want the responsibility. He said people told him the baby wasnt his, and he convinced his parents that it wasnt his. I am heartbroken over this entire situation as I have just met my biological father and he and my mom had almost an identical situation. Not knowing my biological father was so hard for me as a child, and I dont want my baby to suffer the same feelings of abandonment I did. Thank you so much for your time and advice. I think I will take the advice and cut off contact for now... Thank you all.

Alexa - posted on 06/25/2010

Thank you all so much. To answer your question christina he was always very unreliable for support through our relationship, and i broke up with him the day before i found out i was pregnant. He told me to get an abortion over and over, but that decision isnt right for me. He was angry I wouldnt get one, said I was being stupid. He didnt want a baby and decided he didnt want the responsibility. He said people told him the baby wasnt his, and he convinced his parents that it wasnt his. I am heartbroken over this entire situation as I have just met my biological father and he and my mom had almost an identical situation. Not knowing my biological father was so hard for me as a child, and I dont want my baby to suffer the same feelings of abandonment I did. Thank you so much for your time and advice. I think I will take the advice and cut off contact for now... Thank you all.

Heather - posted on 06/25/2010

I almost lost my son at 12 weeks due to stress caused by the daddy. My OBGYN even advised cutting off/reducing contact due to unneeded stress harming the baby and its developement.

I told him flat out that night "Either be supportive, I dont care if you have to fake happiness to do it, Or You can be notified when the Baby is born" He started yelling and screaming so I hung up the phone. I then proceeded to send him an email, then a certified letter (identical to the email just incase you end up in court later over custody) Documenting that the stress caused by him/his family has lead to preterm labor, for the safety of the unborn child you are eliminating contact until the child is born, then you will only allow supervised visitation until a court order is established." Prepare financially to have to go to court for child support.

If you want help with this I will be more then happy to help

Then change your phone numbers, and enclose your email address in the letter as the ONLY way he can contact you (this will provide you with proof/documentation during any custody battles) A tip my sister was given during her divorce was to always include the same friend every time you send an email, so they can vouche for you in court as well.

Also, if you do this by certified letter, and his family continues to contact you/harrass you you can then file restraining orders on every single one of them

Christina - posted on 06/25/2010

I would definitely cut off contact with them. It kind of sounds like they're trying to stress you out in hopes of causing you to have a miscarriage. If all else fails, you can get a restraining order and change your phone number so they can't contact you.
Exactly what happened for them to start treating you this way? If you had a good relationship with him and his family before you found out you were pregnant, why would things suddenly change after finding out you're pregnant? Just curious. But he might be one of those immature types who doesn't want to take responsibility for things, especially when the responsibility is going to last a lifetime.

Amber - posted on 06/25/2010

You don't need the added stress right now, there's no rule saying you can't cut off contact now and then call him when the baby is born and give him a chance then. Tell him you are cutting off contact until the baby is born and you will call or text him when she is born or when u go into labor if you want him in the room. You need to do what is best for you and your baby and it sounds like cutting him out would be best.