am i overreacting?!?!

Katie - posted on 03/11/2010

Although I do see your point I do too get where he is coming from. I'm a working mom. I get up at 4am to go to work so that I can be home early and have more time with my family. I'm exhaused most days and when I get home I have to take care of my daughter. I understand that he is tired and would like to sleep in himself but I also want to sleep in on the weekends (even though 7am is techniclly sleeping in for me). I do ask for some days so I can do that but I don't get many. You should tell him ahead of time if you want to do that instead of that morning. Explain to him that you're tired and you just need a little extra time to be fully rested. He might not like it for a while but it will be good for both of you if you can have that extra time to yourself.

Angela - posted on 03/11/2010

No you should definatly be able to sleep an extra hour or two...you see when you two had your child that was a commitment for the both of you to do equel responsibilities and I know he wroks but you need a break every now and then as well. And maybe you guys can compromise on things like if he lets you sleep in you will help him with something he needs help with! So I do totally understand where you come from my ex husband was like that and I was the one working not him but my current husband is the sweetest and he is an all nighter so he stays up late and me i am in bed by10 at the latest so if the kids wake up in the middle of the night he gets up woith them and me i am an early bird so i get up with the kids in the morning so he can sleep.

Renee - posted on 03/11/2010

if hes not willing to put in the effort id be kicking his butt too!! your baby is half of him too and he gets a "break" by going to work. he gets to get out and experience different things. he needs to be pitching in as well.

Kyla - posted on 03/11/2010

My partner is just like that. Even wen he doesn't have work he still doesn't get up with my LO. I don't think u r overreacting. i think u deserve 2 have an extra hour or so in bed, being a full time parent can be hard and tiring.

Katie - posted on 03/11/2010

I dont think so i am also a stay at home mom as well.My husband works a lot an we only have 1 car an on his days off i ask 4 extra hours of sleep. We all need some extra hours off sleep every now an then.

Sam - posted on 03/11/2010

NO WAY!!!! OMG we are in the same situation!! i am a stay at home mommy too. and my husband works 3 am to like 11am. and he works monday-sat. and the one day he has off i ask him to help me out and wake up at least once with our son. because i do it everytime while he works and what not. we used to fight and argue because he said it was his only day off and he wants to sleep in and what not. well, i never get a day off..being a stay at home mommy is a lot of work!! It may not seem like it but it is. He really should step up once and help you out. you are going to hit the breaking point of exhaustion. and you and your baby dont want that.

Katie - posted on 03/11/2010

My husband does the same thing. He works for the Navy and he is going to school and while I love to take of my son I need sleep as well more now then I did before since i'm pregant again. I think they just have a trigger where they think we live in the past where the woman does everything. But with my husband he atleast does the cleaning where is I do everything else.

Karen - posted on 03/11/2010

Absolutely not! You are right, being a mom is hard work, especially for an infant. If he has a laid back job and school is so lenient (I'm jealous) then whats the problem? Especialy if he is an early bird anyway. Does the baby seep through the night et? (probably not) Who is up with the li one durring those times? ~ Just saying... Good luck

Tabatha - posted on 03/11/2010

No i am in the same situation... excepy my boyfreind doesnt work or go to school... After a while i got used to it... and she started ssleeping 12 hours at night... so its easier for me now.

Allison - posted on 03/11/2010

compromise. He likes to sleep in on his days off and you like to sleep in on his days off. So one week you sleep in and he gets up with the baby and the next week he sleeps and you get up with the baby. I am a stay at home mom as well. I always get up with the kids because that is my job as a stay at home mom. We have 3 kids and my husband only gets up with them on holidays or special occasions when he surprises me with a day off.

Tabetha - posted on 03/11/2010

Well, no matter what you say to him, he's not gonna change his mind to get up. If he doesn't want to, then he won't. BUT something you can do is go somplace on the weekends. Not all of you...just you. Go to your mom's house if she's close or a friends house....and crash! Take a 4 hour nap if you want. And set up a babysitter...and make sure you pay her. You could make the simple point that you are exhausted, and if he isn't willing to let you get some sleep and a break from the baby, then you'll go someplace else to get it and pay someone else to take care of HIS child.....maybe then, he'll see that your not just a mom, your a woman with needs :)

Katie - posted on 03/11/2010

Although I do see your point I do too get where he is coming from. I'm a working mom. I get up at 4am to go to work so that I can be home early and have more time with my family. I'm exhaused most days and when I get home I have to take care of my daughter. I understand that he is tired and would like to sleep in himself but I also want to sleep in on the weekends (even though 7am is techniclly sleeping in for me). I do ask for some days so I can do that but I don't get many. You should tell him ahead of time if you want to do that instead of that morning. Explain to him that you're tired and you just need a little extra time to be fully rested. He might not like it for a while but it will be good for both of you if you can have that extra time to yourself.

Rachelle - posted on 03/11/2010

nope deffinitly not over reacting trust me they have no idea what it takes out of a person to do all days and nights... my husband is very good he works and goes to school but on the weekend he always make sure i get to sleep in at least one of the days we try to work out a schedual maybe even lettingyou take a baby free nap once in awhile... and i keep the car sometimes it doesn't really help its so cold out the only place to go for me is the mall and theres only so many times you can walk around there with out going crazy.... i would talk to him i used how its not far that our daughter doesn't get any one on one time with her daddy it worked for me and honestly my husband didn't even think about how hard it could be

Brittany - posted on 03/11/2010

I have had to go through that with my husband as well, and it doesn't help the situation when older men like my father tell him its the woman's job to take care of the children. However, my husband and I talked and I explained to him that yes, I do appreciate how hard and how much he works to take care of us but being a father means he has more than one job. If you worked, who would he expect to take care of your son? No one becuase by his standard, if you worked you shouldn't have to, right? But no, stay at home moms are blessed and cursed, we don't work outside but we are never off and your husbandd like many others needs to realize that you need help and "man-up", thats one of his jobs too.

Monica - posted on 03/11/2010

Oh honey no youre not overreacting at all. Im not sure why it is that men think because they (legally)work and get paid for it that they dont have to do anything and leave everything up to the woman...I cant stand it because if were left with taking care of the kids all the kime wed never get a break cause being a housewife and having kids is literally a job if its own and needs care 24/7 365 days a year. We might not get paid for it but its definitely a harder job than a 9-5. I completely understand what youre saying but luckily my hubby only work(no school) so one day he sleeps in and one day i do. Im soorry this is happening to you cause once upon it wasnt so great for me and can relate and at the time she was colicky and wanted to tear my hair out. Dont let him make you feel guilty cause you have the right to have little break and he should understand. Need to talk?Just message me! :D

Elise - posted on 03/11/2010

I so agree, I am having the same problem but i am more of a daytime person than him! So the times i am really tired and he still snoozes! He works and goes to school and i stay home with my baby and really dont get any breathers. When he does come home i suffer alil cus he wants to relax. Watching a kid is a job too! He is good about helping out but its taking a toll on me from my out-going life. Having one car is rough also, this is flu season and the last thing i need is for my boy to get sick. But i do get a day on the weekend when we do got out so i can relax and miss home a little bit.

Monika - posted on 03/11/2010

omgsh! NOOOO,thats how my husband and i do it.he works soooo much that it rarely happens.but when he has a day off he'll get up with our son and take care of him.or atleast if he doesnt get up(cause i ALWAYS hear my son&he could sleep right through it.lol) he will take care of him so i can go run errands by myself.or even take a nap.i explained it to my husband this way: you work and get days off.get to sleep in;but MOMS especially with a baby,work 24/7 we dont ever get a day off.so asking to sleep in every now and then is NOT too much to ask.tell him yall are a team and need to work together to find something that works for you two...good luck.hope ya get some sleep.

Sherry - posted on 03/11/2010

No, you are not over reacting I go to school and work too, my husband has been laid off for quit some time and he is basically a stay at home dad. I have two children one 21 months and the other is 6 months. What we do is designate days on who gets up with the girls and who doesn't.



When I only had my first Miley, we took different shifts through the night so that we both got an equall amount of sleep. Honestly in my opinion that would be your best bet. In my eyes hes just giving you a lame excuse just so he can sleep more when he doesnt need too...:)



I hope that helped!

Lainie - posted on 03/11/2010

I have pretty much the same situation here, hubby works and goes to school and is a vol CFA member. But he helps more, he helps maintain the house like mowing gardening etc on the rare occasion will even cook dinner (provided I get all the stuff out and has directions) and most importantly alot of mornings that he isn't working he will get up with the kids. Ive got the kids for the rest of the day after that but yeah that hour sleep in makes the biggest difference!!! If you ask my hubby he will claim that he does most the house work too - but seriously what does he think that i do all day???

Point is tell your hubby to lift his game I mean really whats an hour and its not like its hard. Sure my hubby doesn't want to get up but he pours the kids cereal then they pretty watch watch TV or amuse themselves till i get up and he sits watching TV drinking coffee.

Ashley=) - posted on 03/11/2010

On my first child my boyfriend went back to work 4days after our baby girl was born he was gone from 5 in the morning to 8that night and our little one would be asleep by the time he was back.i never excepted him to get up with her during the night or let me have lie ins in the mornings when he was off....but he did....he got up in the night,got her bottle and would always do that without being asked and would get up with her on weekends to allow me to sleep.I guess i was lucky i know all men are not the same but sometimes its nice to see past the fact that the work and want to help there baby and the mother of there baby without having to be asked..:-)

Amanda - posted on 03/11/2010

i am also a stay at home mom and dont get to see mu husbad very often i have 2 todlers a 2 and 4 year old im grateful that my husband on the weekends will let me sleep in because he and the kids get up early and i let him take a nap in the afternoon with the kids i feel blessed to have a husband though he works will come home and help with some of the house chores knowing i have a 24/7 job of my own :)

Samantha - posted on 03/10/2010

no darl u are not over reacting in any way so dont think u are

JESSINA - posted on 03/10/2010

NO GIRLY U ARE NOT. YOUR HUBBY'S LUCKY IM NOT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS CUZ MAN I SURE LIKE TO TELL HIM OFF RIGHT NOW & GIVE HIM A PEICE OF MY MIND LOL. IDK HOW YOU PUT UP WITH THAT. HOPE EVRYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU

Mayueth - posted on 03/10/2010

No You should defenetly be able to sleep in. Taking care of a baby 24/7 is hard work!

Michelle - posted on 03/10/2010

absolutely not. I believe parenting is a shared responsibility, after all, you both had the child. My husband works away 2 weeks on and 1 week off. He basically gets to do what he wants when he gets home (including over night fishing trips!), and all I ask is that he gets up to our toddler in the mornings so I can relax and take my time. Which he is quite happy to do because he loves his baby girl and wants to spend time with her. (I am not saying your partner does not love his child.) But parenting is a job and I'm sure if he stayed at home with your child all of the time he too would realise that it's not all that relaxing!

Ericka - posted on 03/10/2010

No you should be able to sleep in an extra hour or so. Taking care of a baby is a full time job that is exhausting.What he needs to understand is you work too.

Amythyst - posted on 03/10/2010

you need to let him know being a stay at home mom is work too. maybe you could alternate days off and take turns sleeping in nor whatever?

Jamie - posted on 03/10/2010

I sure don't think so. I think that mommy's and daddy's should take turns. I always tried to get extra sleep on daddy's day off. You could also try sleeping whenever the baby is napping....but I never really could. That was always when I did my housework.

Lynn - posted on 03/10/2010

no it is not wrong me and my husband worked it out so we rotate weekends so we both get a little extra shut eye.

Katarin - posted on 03/10/2010

my fiancee does the same thing. he refuses to get up to her saying it is MY job. and when he isnt at work he takes off to the pub with friends till 4 or 5 in the morning, yet i asked to go out for one night to have a girls night with some old school friends and he said no because then he'd have to stay home and thats my job

Tessa - posted on 03/10/2010

He IS working AND going to school. I KNOW being SAHM is hard work, but he's got TWO jobs compared to your one.

That said, once or twice a week isn't too much to ask. But on EVERY day off of his, yes, I'd agree with him. But if you are only wanting once or so a week, then I do think he should be considerate and WANT to spend time with his baby!

Tawnya - posted on 03/10/2010

I think if it is only going to cause you more hassle and frustration to argue with your husband. I would just get up with the baby and when the baby lays down for a nap you lay back down with the baby and leave the rest of the housewrok for him to do or just do it later. You have all week to catch up and relax on the weekend. It is tough for me right now because my husband is in Iraq. In my mind I know that there is two of us in this relationship but he is unable to be here to help me. He is the one that is working and I am a stay at home mom for the moment. However I get up with my 10 month old son in the morning feed him a bottle and when he lays back down I lay down in my bed. Then when he gets up again, it is on for the rest of the day. If you know what I mean. Sometimes my husband gets upset at me because I laid back down to get some more sleep but he is not the one that has to take care of the children day in and day out. Taking care of the house and everything else is very stressful in itself. However having an infant makes it so much more harder, My heart goes out to you. Do not feel ashamed to take that extra sleep that is truly needed. I hope this helps you out.

Shasta - posted on 03/10/2010

i am in the same boat as you. and i do agree, taken care of a baby is very hard. as a matter of fact, its the hardest job ever. i dont care what anyone says. which i work all day and have all night with her and my bf works at night, so he rarely sees her during the day. i agree you do need a break. plus its good for you to get a break. or your marriage will have a huge strain on it.

Amber - posted on 03/10/2010

No you should have your time too. My husband gets up with our daughter and lets me sleep in on the weekends since I have to get up with her Monday thru Friday. It should be a joint effort.

Fran - posted on 03/10/2010

maybe on his days off insted of him waking up early maybe you could get time out / ummy time / sleep earlier than normal then youre not waking him up and you still get some time...maybe you need to friendly remind him that you didnt get pregnant all by yourself?

Cindy - posted on 03/10/2010

Put your foot down and say this: "Look, this is how it's going to be......You are going to get up with the baby in the middle of the night a couple times a week whether you like it or not." And if he still refuses to get up with the baby then when its the middle of the night and the baby wakes up take the baby and set him/her down on a blanket on the floor or where ever you can that is safe in your bedroom and let the baby cry and keep waking your husband up, and when or if your husband gets mad and tells you to take care of him/her say: "No,the baby will stay here and continue to cry untill you get him and take care of him."

Now I dont really know what your husband is like or how he would react to that but It's an idea, and an idea that you might not know if it works unless you try it.

Well good luck to you!!! I truly hope it all works out for you! :) :)

Ashley - posted on 03/10/2010

You are not overreacting girl.. I ask my husband the same thing sometimes.. We have an agreement.. I put her to bed at night and he wakes up with her at night (and he works while I stay at home with 2 girls) and if for some reason she wakes up more than once, we take turns.. You marriage should be a partnership.. In my opinion you 2 made the baby and that means you 2 should help take care of the baby.. He might work but you also work. You stay at home and take care of baby so he should help.. I hope it all works out for you.

Nikki - posted on 03/10/2010

Its a man thing. My husband works and goes to school also. I work too, full-time. He will all but throw a temper-tantrum if I ask him to stay up while I go to bed or get up so I can sleep. Its not over reacting, he is just a man

Stella - posted on 03/10/2010

Ok, my husband works and goes to school too and I also am a stay at home mom now. So, I know where your coming from. My husbands job isn't laid back at all, he is in the Marine Corp and we works 14 hours a day.... literally!He goes in at 4 am and doesn't get off till 6 p.m. Every day off that my husband has, he lets me sleep in and then when I do get up, he makes me coffee and breakfast! My son is 3 and sleeps through the night and my husband still lets me sleep in because he know how difficult dealing with a 3 year old all day can be! Your husband needs to more considerate!

Breanne - posted on 03/10/2010

No you are not. He is a parent too, not you alone. He should be helping more then just a coulpe hours in the morning on the weekend. My husband was the same way in the begining until I reminded him that I was not a single parent, and if it continued to be like that, I would be a single parent. I basicly told him that it was his resonsibility too and if he didn't want to take it on and be a father then I would leave and really be a single parent. He straightened up fast.

Christianne - posted on 03/10/2010

I think you should be able to sleep in a little while longer. When my baby (who is 5 months now) wakes up on the weekend I breastfeed him then hand him over for daddy playtime while I go back to bed. He comes to get me if he needs me or can't work out what our son needs it is great I normally get another hour or two and it is just what you need to refresh yourself for the week ahead. You need a break even if it is to sleep otherwise you go insane

Crystal - posted on 03/10/2010

I have been in a similar situation. For almost a year we only had one car. I was stuck at home with the kids all day, while he worked and we only had his weekend to be together. On his days off we always got into arguments over sleeping in, or childcare in general. He always told me that the kids were my "job". Now I go to school full time, but I don't work. When I am home he still thinks that the kids are my job, and all the housework regardless of the amount of homework I am doing! Good luck, I hope the two of you can work things out!

Ashlie - posted on 03/10/2010

yeah my fiance only has one day off a week sunday and he is good sometimes with waking up when she wakes up at 7am to fed her other times he doesnt move a muscle!!! But you deserve an extra hour of sleep im a saty at home mom too and i know its so tiring i know working is tiring too but come on hes a dad and your the mom so thats mean you share the parenting!!! so tell him you need an extra hour im sure if u explain how your feeling he will understand=]

Autumn - posted on 03/10/2010

absolutely not. i had the same issue with my husband. and i finally told him that just because he pays the bills, doesn't mean his job ends there. you didn't make that baby by yourself. he needs to get out of bed, take responsibility and do his job. and i hear you on the early bird thing, i am not fully functional until 11 am.lol

April - posted on 03/10/2010

no he needs to help you out.it wasnt you who had him alone..tell him to help you out other wise you are gonna beat him up....lol where you live at maybe i can watch the baby for a bit lol my friends kids love me so i always try to take them so my friends can get some sleep...lol there husbands are in the military so they arent there alot and neither is mine so i dont mind keeping the kids...i love them lol plus i have a 2 yr old daughter who is a busy body lol my husband used to be like your husband and i told him if he didnt help out a little atleast with his daughter than i no longer wanted or needed him in my life...cause it isnt easy raisin a kid or kids by yourself and sure enough he is a better father and even though he works his ass off and stuff he still gets involved and every now and then i ask for a few mins to myself to take a bath or go clean sometime or sleep...cause those things are the best if you have a few mins to yourself though when he takes her i usually clean lol well holla back on here or my cell is 9124927884 or aprilsunkriner19@yahoo.com any will work lol

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

you should be able to have one morning where you can sleep in a few extra hours! my husband and i agreed that i would get up with our son during the week( when i was still home for the first 6 weeks). and that i could sleep in on saturday and sunday! sometimes you might just have to let your lil one cry and pretend you can't hear them untill your hubby gets up to get the baby!

Danielle - posted on 03/10/2010

NO WAY! you hubby should give you a break excpecailly since your stuck in the house all day every day and should be more understanding about needing a break or even just a little sleep some times.

Ashley - posted on 03/10/2010

So I can totaly understand where you are coming from...it is hard to be a stay at home mom and to feel like you can never get out and go anywhere. Maybe you could ask him if one day you can take him to work so that you can have the car to take your child to the park or go shopping or somthing. But you really should be careful about the way that you say it to him...dont make him feel like it is his fault bc then he may go on the defensive. Also by placing blame then you both shut down to the real problem. He should be helping take care of the baby bc it is very important for him to have a strong relationship with the baby and not just for you. Tell him that it is great that he gets his time off from his job but that you dont get a 'day off' and that your job never ends....ask him to be a little more understanding of the way that you are feeling but dont make him feel gulity about it or demand that he fix the problem. Also be understanding of him and his feelings. He has to work so that you can stay home and be with your child and that is just as hard....he is trying to find a balance between work, you and the baby, and still finding time for himself also. Try a compromise and do the whold give and take thing and then Im sure that you guys can come to a resionable solution.

Rose - posted on 03/10/2010

i don't think your asking for much. I work part time and take care of my daughter. My hubby works full time as a furniture delivery driver. On his days off i ask him to get up with our daughter if she wakes up at night and he don't mind getting up with her early either.

Maya - posted on 03/10/2010

No you aren't my fiance' stays home with our newborn and I work during the week so on the weekends I get up with my son to give him a break. He is not yet sleeping throught the night so I know that he is usually tired so I volunteered to get up with him on the weekends since I am off.