Am I rude ?

Jennyqueen - posted on 05/12/2012

sorry :(

Cyndel - posted on 05/12/2012

My MIL has only seen my boys 1 time in the last year since my second son's birth, 1 year ago today :-) And that was a little over a week ago. She lives in a dangerously toxic home and refuses to believe it. I refuse to take my children over to her house, and have tried everything to get her to go somewhere else (she can't take the 2 flights of stairs to our apartment because of her weight and poor health) to see them from the time he was 10 days old, she had some important tests and medical stuff going on the day he was born that couldn't be postponed, we were home by the time she was done.
Her philosophy is she shouldn't have to leave her (toxic) house to see her grand kids, as a result the only time she has seen them is when she was in the hospital waiting for surgery last week. I refused to give her the opportunity to say I didn't do everything possible to let her see her Grandsons safely. So I drove over 100 miles to the hospital she was staying at so she could see the boys, and pick up a FREE Graco Nautilus for my oldest. But I would have made the trip car seat or not.
I say don't give him the opportunity to say you never gave every opportunity for him to see his grandchild.

Jennyqueen - posted on 05/12/2012

it was quite rude if he/she was offended but no :)

Julie - posted on 05/11/2012

live in TODAY ...

BE THE BIGGER BETTER person when thing are bad -

Have one party and invite everyone ... it is up to them to attend or not...

PLEASE do not talk about any of this in front of your son... it will only hurt him; tho we may think it will make them love US more, it doesn't ...

Sign me,
BEEN THERE DONE THAT ♥

Lynn - posted on 05/11/2012

I know how you feel. My dad and step mom have seen my kids 3-4 times in their lives, and they're ten and eight years old. My nephew is twelve, and they've only seen him a few times, too, and only when we have driven 7 hours to visit them. They are retired, and refuse to come here, even when driving through our state, to visit my step mom's son.

When my step mom's son's girlfriend had their son, my dad called, all happy and proud, and asked me "how does it feel to be an aunt?" I didn't miss a beat and said "I've been an aunt for TEN YEARS now, remember?" He just stammered and tried to say that he did remember that he has three grandchildren already. That are actually RELATED to him! He had the nerve to say that it was different because this baby has his last name. (My step brother changed his last name, to my dad's). I have two sisters, and our kids have their dad's last names! I mean, what did he expect, with three daughters?

My dad sends a gift card for my kids every Christmas, but never acknowledges their birthdays, even though Christmas IS my daughter's birthday. He calls maybe once a year, and all he talked about is his dogs, his garden, and his stepson's son. He never asks about my kids or how they're doing, and gets off the phone as quickly as he can. It does bother me sometimes, but my kids have a great relationship with my mom and step dad, and my aunt and uncle, who don't have any grandkids. I talk to my MIL for 1-2 hours every Friday night, and she is very generous with money at every birthday, holiday, and often in between. My kids are just fine without my dad, and have no idea who he is anyway. They only vaguely remember seeing their pool and dogs a few years ago.

I would send your dad the invite to one of the parties, and see if he shows up. I tried for years, by sending birthday, Mother's Day and Father's day cards, invites, calling my dad, and only gave up after 8 years of his ignoring all attempts to have a relationship with me, or my kids.

I hope you can have a better relationship with your dad, but if you can't, just know that having a relationship with your mom will be enough. Maybe your son can have your aunts, uncles, or cousins fill in that role, too. My aunt and uncle are the "other" grandparents for my kids, and always come to birthdays and school events.

Terina - posted on 05/11/2012

sorry you didnt put his age, for some reason i assumed he was 1 ! sorry

Terina - posted on 05/11/2012

i think seeing as your son is only 1 its down to you to make the best choice for him and some of the best choices are not alwys the right choices, i think you should invute then its down to them the ball was in thier court then at least you can say you tried! i think when your son is older he may decide for himself what to do but i really do agree with beth . your son may not thank you years down the line if he finds out you did nothing to encourage the what could be a great raltionship. i think unless hes violent or kees letting your son down give the guy a chance, but i do hear what your saying.if he dosent turn up then hs loss but also the gandmas deserves a chance too but again dont give on it its your sons future here hope all goes well for you and he has a great party regardless

Beth - posted on 05/11/2012

I would send an invite unless you really don't want a relationship with your Dad. Don't be immature and give in to petty feelings. I understand he hurt your feelings but your child has a right to have a relationship with his Grandpa and Grandma..if they don't come it's all on them and you tried!! Give it some thought and see what you can come up with, please.

Tina - posted on 05/11/2012

that's why I decide you can't please everyone i just send the invites they either come or they don't it's their loss if they don't and not worth beating yourself up over. Focus on the people that are there for you they're the important ones.

Amanda - posted on 05/11/2012

not rude, immature

Medic - posted on 05/10/2012

I third Jodi.

Stifler's - posted on 05/10/2012

How old is your son? You don't have to invite anyone you don't want to your kids birthday. I never invite my parents or MIL or anyone really they live 600km away I just invite people with the kids the same age.

Firebird - posted on 05/10/2012

I agree with Jodi.

Jodi - posted on 05/10/2012

Personally, I think it sounds all really childish. On everyone's parts.

Toni - posted on 05/10/2012

I don't think you are no, if you don't want him there, why should you have him there? It sounds like he wouldn't want to come either so it's a win win situation!