Lee - posted on 01/03/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )
I was wondering what would be the ideal thing to do. The father of my son hasn't been there for my kid until he turned one, and when he did started to be in his life he was doing very minimal, clothes buying, telling me to buy the shoes and he'll pay me back, and barely visiting him at all. The father just started visiting more than usual now and my son is 8yrs old now soon to be 9. I lost two jobs because of the jobs budget cuts and they weren't trying to change work hours that fits me, so i quit to be there for my son. I did file child support, it was working untill he claimed he lost his job, but then he calls me to tell me he working under the table. Then he gets married, if you didn't have money or income how could you afford a fancy wedding. Anyhow, i'm not getting child support and the father continues to do nothing but take him once a blue moon.
I just finished school, and im currently looking for a new job, but i have no help from anyone, not from him,or my own family, and i need to get back in the job force, because having no money is not fun. So i came to the conclusion of my son going to stay with his father, but now the father speaks as if he wouldn't return my(our) son, when im ready to have him or when get back on my feet. Hes telling me that if my son does go stay with him he plans on getting a 2bedroom apt, and that his whole life would be different and returning him to me with no problem would not be option. Prior to this situation, he has called to tell me that he wants my son to stay with him so he could be there for him and his gas money prevents him from visiting,which is b.s. to me because he lives there with a wife that works.
Now what i want to know is, am doing wrong by sending my son with his father, am i setting myself up with a custody battle, I don't have evidence to prove that he is working under the table what would be another option, and since now that they are married can i refile a child support case under both of them(is that even possible, someone told me i can file child support and they would be taking money from the wife also). What rights does a person who's not on a birth certificate but took a paternity test has, since we don't live together, as in what say so does he have over his son, how long can he keep him for, and can i show up to his house and take my son back since nothing legally is on paper? And if I cant just go and get him anytime, (which for some reason i don't think i can because I had a male friend wanting to keep his daughter after the mother let her go stay with him for 3 days, and she called the police and they said as long as his name on the birth certificate hes legally able to keep her as long as he wanted, but his sister convinced him to return her, and he did,but never again got to see his daughter at his leisure.) What would be the ideal thing to do if he decided to keep my son from me, what kind of court battle should i file for my son to be with me again and for his father to come and get him on a regular basis, or do i have to prove that hes not suitable to take care for him,which is crazy that i have to go through these things when i was very lenient to him all i told his was be there for your son and i wont file child support,and he wasn't so i proceeded. HELP! PLEASE AND THANK U!