Am I wrong, or was I right when I wanted to fight the woman who called my bi-racial child nigger?

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Hanna - posted on 11/01/2009

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I would say that you were wrong, but not because it pissed you off, but because you wanted to go down to the level of that narrow-mindness. there are plenty of stereotypes and unfortunately, some people act like they grew up under a rock. i don't know where you live, but it's around all over the place, especially from older generation because back then it wasn't as accepted as it is now.

i would just raise your baby to embrace both races and be above it. he/she will have to deal with people's issues at some point or another throughout his/her life so the best you can do is raise him/her prepared for it and have enough self-confidence & self respect & self-love not to be affected by people's stupidity. if that woman sees the world through a key hole, well, that is her problem. i don't think you need to make her problems & shortcomings your own.

my son is bi-racial (although it's white & hispanic & he doesn't look it), and we get looks when we're in supermarket (we now live in Charlotte, NC), but you know what? who cares. our son is beautiful & he has an incredible heritage and he has a unique opportunity to learn about western & eastern european as well as puerto rican & ecuadorian culture. as well as at least 4 languages that will be essential part of his heritage & upbringing. and he will grow up knowing certain things about other cultures from just being around us and his grandparents. how many people can say that?

and if the next white, so-called all american (whatever that means) woman wants to be racist & try to take her issues out on my son, i will tell her to go back under the rock that she just climbed from. as far as i'm concerned, my son is a very blessed child. and so is your baby. embrace that beauty, nurture it! some of the most beautiful people were bi-racial. good luck to you!

Dominique - posted on 11/01/2009

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OMG there would of been no stopping me, no you were not in the wrong... it takes shear strength not to do anything to a stupid ignorant person like that. Bi-racial children are the most beautiful and intelligent children.

Charlie - posted on 11/01/2009

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That is disgusting i cannot stand racism , i would have felt just as angry .

BUT you can be the bigger person just laugh at her and think how sad and pathetic it must be to be stupid , ignorant in this day and age .

Alison - posted on 11/01/2009

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You were so right!! My baby is bi-racial and I would have been ready to fight if someone called my child that! Some people are so stupid and close minded it amazes me!

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hun i have a bi racial family and i tell u even the use of the N word is not permited throughout my friend circle and if someone ever cut my child or any of my fam down i would defintly take that as fighting words stand up for your fam it is right hun

Katherine - posted on 11/01/2009

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You weren't wrong. My ex-husband called my child (with my currenty fiance) a nigger. Calling my fiance the same.... *shrug* my fiance's a huge guy, he can whoop some butts on his own, (quarter black himself), but a baby? Come on!!!

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This is going to happen to your child for the rest of her life--are you going to react to each comment the same way? This was a choice that you made that will cause problems with every race just not whites. There are many stereotypes that allow for this kind of treatment. Moreover, blacks call blacks niggers all the time and its fine especially if you are a rapper. There is racism in every race and against every race and racism runs rampant through the US and in many people whether they choose to accept it or not. The best thing you should do is raise your child not to act like a certain stereotype if you don't want her to be stereotyped.

Crystal - posted on 11/01/2009

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Well maybe not fighting bout it cause you dont need to go to jail over someone stupid like that yes that is very wrong for her to call your baby that I would be very mad too my son is mixed too and if someone called him a nigger yea I would be pissed and probley cuse the woman out but I wouldnt fight, unless she was trying to hurt me or my babies.

ALISHA - posted on 11/01/2009

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yo i woulda caught a charge on that girl straight up my mans friends girl and i got problems and she said something like that and i snapped she aint got nothing to do with my family no more

Megan - posted on 11/01/2009

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You were totally right to want to defend your child. And if the woman said that in front of your child then I seriously would have lost it myself. Anymore it's almost impossible for a child not to be mixed of something and it's ignorant for people to use derogatory racial slurs at anyone but especially children. Just make sure you teach your child that it's wrong to use that kind of language and that when she hears it to stand up for herself and anyone else who it might effect, and not to do the same to others.

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2009

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ive been there and i dont think you are wrong for wanted to react with anger but i think that becoming violent is just what they are looking for. she wanted a reaction out of you and you are the better person for not acting on you feeling to beat the s*it of the woman who disrespected you and you child!

Jodi - posted on 11/01/2009

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I definately do not blame you for feeling that way! I know I would have! On the other hand, how to actually respond...that's hard b/c your daughter was right there. I probably would have made a scene so that the lady got really embarassed, even though it wouldn't have been the "right" thing to do. On one hand, you can't let her get away with it b/c it teaches your daughter that she has to let people say these things. On the other hand, you shouldn't go ballistic b/c you want your daughter to handle that situation in a dignified, mature way, but still be sticking up for herself. While I don't blame you at all for reacting the way you did, (really, I wouldn't actually expect much else out of any mother!), if it were my daughter, I would sit down and have a good chat about that word, about how you acted (and if you wish you had reacted differently), how she felt, how she should (or shouldn't) feel and what you expect from her if it ever happens when you're not around. (i.e. no physical violence for sure!). I think you felt the way any mom would feel and reacted the way 90% of moms would have reacted. That lady NEVER should have said that period, let alone in front of a 9 year old girl! But in the end, I pity her, think of all the wonderful people she is missing out on getting to know because of her racism. It's sad that people still have these views, but one child at a time, we can slowly help make racism a thing of the pass!

Tiffany - posted on 11/01/2009

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I think you are right. I am white but I as far as I care you could be purple, pink, or blue and everyone should be treated the same. I have a friend who is mexican and her husband is african american and their children know both cultures and are sweethearts.

Krystle - posted on 11/01/2009

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If somebody ever called my daughter a nigger, I would probably say it takes one to know one. People have to understand that the word nigger means ignorance and ignorance comes in any color. I'm pregnant with a bi-racial child and I was warned that some people would act like that. So far I have only had black people have a problem with her being bi-racial. She has been called a half breed. It's horrible. People just think that white people are just racist when it goes both ways. I know it feels horrible when somebody talks about your child and you want to just bash there face in. I hope god gives me the strength to be strong and not to get violent. lol When my daughter was called a half breed I was ready to fight. Honestly, if I wasn't pregnant I would have jumped on her in a heart beat. What is wrong with people? We have a black president! Its about to be 2010!

MELANIE - posted on 11/01/2009

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I THINK THAT THE FEELINGS YOU HAD WERE RIGHT. BUT I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD GO THROUGH WITH THE ACTIONS. THERE ARE VERY MEAN AND HATEFUL PPL OUT THERE AND YOU CANT BEAT UP EVRYONE THAT SAYS SOMTHING TO YOU THAT HURTS AND MAKES YOU ANGRY. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS BUT YOU HAVE A CHILD TO THINK ABOUT NOW AND THEY HAVE CONSICUINCES AND COPS AND STUFF WONT EXCEPT THE REASON FOR YOUR ACTIONS. I HAVE QUITE A FEW FRIENDS THAT HAVE BIRACIAL BABYS AND THEY HAVE A VERY HARD TIME IN PUBLIC. THEY JUST HAD TO LEARN TO DEAL B/C THEY ARE TO MANY RUDE PPL TO LET IT BOTHER YOU THAT MUCH.

Alycia - posted on 11/01/2009

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That is AWFULL!!! people like that expect everyone to look and act the same!!! All cultures are beautiful mixed or not.

Lucy - posted on 11/01/2009

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not wrong for wanting to... but wrong if you had. You'd be just as bad as her. Ignorance, racism and violence are all wrong. Maybe you should have asked if she calls the president that?? Unfortunately there are lots of stupid people in the world and you can't fight them all. The best thing is to raise your child to be proud of their heritage and encourage them to treat people equally. Sorry you had this horrible experience, hopefully it won't ever be repeated.

Angelique - posted on 11/01/2009

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WOW!! i would have gone crazy!!! people are so rude.. but im sorry i would have lost it and did what i had to do..

Meghan - posted on 11/01/2009

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My daughter is mixed as well. She is German, Swedish, and Liberian. Honestly, I know everyone is saying "BEAT HER UP!" But truth be told, it is not even worth it. Pray to God for patience with people who do not understand. You could just feel sorry for her because obviously she has some issues. I would be shocked and maybe even laugh, but just brush it off because its not worth your time or energy. My husband on the other hand... he might have wanted to do something! Hehe

Melissa - posted on 11/01/2009

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I would have told her that I do not appreciate her using the N word around my child. I'm sorry that she has a problem with bi-racial children. That is an awful word to use on anyone, but especially a child. I'm assuming your child is too young to know that that word is a put-down, but he or she will eventually and he or she does have feelings.

Andi - posted on 11/01/2009

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I would kick her a**! How dare her to say that. My baby cousin is bi racial and I would be hunting that woman down,and let her know how mad I was....

Jessica - posted on 11/01/2009

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U r so right about that i would have beat her too thats sad people r like that

Valerie - posted on 11/01/2009

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omg i would've been in jail if i were you!! i can't stand ignorance in people...i kinda know how you feel (as far as a child is concerned...i've dated outside of my race prior to now), because my baby--although not bi-racial but multi-ethnic-- is very yellow, and his father and i are brown. some people ask us if we're sure he's ours, just because he's not brown yet. it pisses me off, but sometimes poeple just don't know what to say and that say stupid things. not all people are taught about race and ethnicities and how skin color always varies but shouldn't matter.



you're going to go through things like this as long as you are you child's mom, so just be prepared!!

Heather - posted on 11/01/2009

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i agree with Britta, i get people talking bad about me all the time, it makes me mad but i know it's my choice to be with someone outside my race so i let it go, but when people bring my daughter into it, it pisses me off. you can't tell by looking at her that she's half black, but for the people that know her dad, they never let me hear the end of it. i've even went off on my parents friends at work for things they said about her. you have to stand up for whats right, and you were DEFINANTLY right!! keep up the good work

Leah - posted on 11/01/2009

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You weren't wrong to want to fight her. And if anyone is trying to make you feel bad for it, they are just as ignorant as the low life that spoke about or to your child like that. I have to deal with and hear stupidity such as that. All you can do is pray for them. Because the moment you first react physically, it only goes downhill from there. Keep your and your child's head up. ;) It really is sad the hatred and ignorance people still carry. Just don't stoop to their level.

Lindsay - posted on 11/01/2009

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You were completely right! That is your child and if you don't protect him/her who will!! I am very protective about my child. I don't even like it when people call my son chubby or fat. It makes me so mad.

Britta - posted on 11/01/2009

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Um heck no! I will be in jail the day that happens. Its like I say, call ME whatever you want but leave my baby out of it!

Teisha - posted on 11/01/2009

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The human in me is outraged that you and your child have to deal with the ignorance of the world!! bUT THE GOD in me tells you to let people hate and pray for them and keep it moving. Cause god loves your child he created her, he knew that the two of you were going to be her parents before it happen so wow !! look at how important she is. And i dont understand why people judge who people find there love with.Its not there concerns. Be blessed!1

Lisa - posted on 11/01/2009

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The very fact that people still continue to be racist astounds me. It's completely ridiculous. And for someone to say that about a CHILD just makes it that much worse. I would have wanted to slap the stupid out of her too. Apparently her momma didn't teach her any manners. Ignorance is bliss but only for the one who is so. Everyone else just thinks you're a mean/cruel/rude/stupid/etc person who either needs to grow the f up or get a clue. The color of anyone's skin should not be the deciding factor of their persona. Perhaps that woman (I would never ever call someone like that a lady for sure!!!) needs to be taught a lesson in common courtesy. Just because she doesn't agree with your daughter being bi-racial doesn't mean she needs to announce it, especially in such a cruel manner!!!!

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scum is the word that springs to mind. but if u had hit out you would have been lowering yourself to her level,bitch that she is and she does deserve a slap,she isn't worth it,and just imaging how distressed your daughter would have been seeing you roll around the floor fighting...she'll get hers 1 day.

Melissa - posted on 11/01/2009

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You would be wrong NOT to be angry!!! People disgust me sometimes! You had the same reaction any good mother would have!

Jaimie - posted on 11/01/2009

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Hell NO you weren't wrong!!! I have a mixed niece and nephew and they are he cutest! I would beath the shit out of any bitch who called them that!! Like serioulsy time to grow up people!

Lisa - posted on 11/01/2009

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People are so stupid!!! i would have boiled over!!!!! If people spent half as much time worring ( and doing something ) about any one of a hundred REAL problems...child abuse, national deficit, curing diseases, etc...our world would be a lot better! What difference does it make what culture a child comes from as long as it's one that's filling that child's life with love and good honest people! Keep right on doing what you're doing!!!!!! YOU are an EXCEPTIONAL person!! That woman needs her butt kicked right off the planet!

Rebekka - posted on 11/01/2009

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I would have been upset, but I doubt i would have wanted to physically hurt her. Thats just not the answer.

Lyndsay - posted on 11/01/2009

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No. Unless you did decide to fight her in front of your child, I guess. But if you catch her in a parking lot late at night, I guess thats okay.. hahaha

Amanda - posted on 11/01/2009

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Omg...I have a son I am adopting who is bi-racial...i believe i would have acted the same as you...there may have been a fight...I might have got my butt whooped but they would have known I had been there! Sorry u had to go through that....ppl are so ignorant!

Iysha - posted on 11/01/2009

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If anybody said anything derogatory to my child, I would have definately put him/her in their place. That kind of thing should never be tolerated.

Martica - posted on 11/01/2009

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No were not, I'd been upset too and wanted to do harm to her. Would I have though? No, I wouldn't want my kids to see it and I'd want to be better then that close minded bitch. I'd told her where to shove it, and that my kids are beautiful.

I'm full blooded Cuban, born in the US though and my husband is white bluntly said lol. You'd never guess they were half Cuban though lol, they have blue eyes and look like their daddy white bread hehe. If anyone were to say a thing to them, I'd be wanting to kick some arse. My temper is well hispanic lol, and mess with my kids some how. Yep, you pushed a button instantly. I'd not do anything though, but ohh words would fly an then I'd make them cover ears. If not leave, and sure my husband would have a thing to say too.

Shanna - posted on 11/01/2009

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I would have gone off tap!!!

Some people are just so ignorant and are just a waste of space...fancy saying something like that to a child....i seriously would have punched the silly biatch in the snoz!

Ramona - posted on 11/01/2009

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you'd think, people now a days are more open-minded....it's sad how ignorant some people are....tell em next time "he/she is not a n...., her/his name is ...."

Katarina - posted on 10/31/2009

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I absolutely HATE that word. We don't listen to any music that it's even implied. I would feel the same way!

Carolyn - posted on 10/31/2009

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I definitely stand by you and I am glad to see so many standing by you and your sweet child as well. These are the kind of people you need in your life! People like that woman live very sad and lonely lives with closed hearts. I am Jamaican and American and my baby girl is Guatamalan and Jamaican/American.. Our children are beautiful!! :) Stay proud and strong!!

Cynthia - posted on 10/31/2009

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You were SOOOOO right! Never let yourself feel that you were wrong in defending your child! I do not have a bi-racial child, so I'm not even prejiduce (sp?) about the subject, but I still think it is horrificall rude! You should've let her have it!

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