Anyone with regrets after having a tubal ligation?

Rosie - posted on 01/08/2011 ( 44 moms have responded )

168

28

11

I'm scheduled for the procedure, but i'm scared that i may regret it.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Connie L - posted on 09/08/2012

2

0

0

A woman should NEVER make the decision to have a "Tubal Ligation" in her twenties or thirties, Tubal ligation's should be done to a woman in her late forties, ONLY if there is no other birth control available that agree's with her system. Even then I have my feelings on this matter that a tubal ligation still should be at the bottom of the list and the problems a woman can have after a tubal ligation can effect her emotionally, physically and cause all sorts of numerous problems. I know, I had a tubal ligation at age 23 years old. It was after my third baby and my family, friends, doctor's and husband(at the time) talked to me and gave me nothing, but praises about this procedure, it was the answer to my prayers they said. All women are having it done they said. You have three children and need no more children they said. All solutions to a complete family. WRONG! I suffered with PTLS(Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome) Heavy periods, extreme cramps with my periods, painful ovulation, thyroid problems, gained 50 pounds. I was in the ER and my OB's office more then I was at home. My body was going haywire. Then my husband left me for his pregnant girlfriend. That was hard. I was crushed. He said I was always whining about my body. It took a year to deal with my female reproductive parts and I finally met a great man that had no children,. We were together for six years until his mother made the remark that I should allow her son to have the same opportunities as I had and that was to have a child of his own and not a ready made family. She called me "Selfish" Now that hurt. Depression set in, I cried many of nights myself to sleep. I hated baby showers, women who could bear children, pregnancy announcements. I remember my neighbor having twins and thinking it just wasn't fair. She got two kids and I just want one with my husband. I was very grateful for the three I had, but to find a man that loved me as much as one man could ever love a woman, The song that Percy Sledge sang "When a man loves a woman" described the way my husband felt about me. Percy Sledge could have written that song for us. It was our song. Then one day my friend was telling me about a fertility doctor that offered 90% chance of women having their tubes reversed. To conceive a baby. The doctor's office was only 45 minutes from my home. To make a long story short, I went through with the tubal reversal and 22 years later, I'm celebrating my 27th wedding anniversary with six kids. My husband and I had three tubal reversal babies Two son's and a daughter, my son's are age 20 years and 18 years and my daughter is 22 years old. I just want to express my feelings and give you women the down side of a tubal ligation, 45% of women that have this procedure will experienced PTLS and 75% of the women have regrets of ever having this procedure. I hope I have helped with any woman that is thinking of having this procedure done and helped you with a per meant decision that could effect the rest of your life.

Ginny - posted on 07/03/2012

1

20

0

My husband said after we had a boy and girl that he would get a vasectomy. He ended up chickening out, and we had another child, a little boy. We can not imagine life without our youngest son! He has brought so much life and light into our family! But dh was adamant, NO MORE KIDS! He still was nervous about the snip procedure, but I refused to have any procedures done to me. I wanted more, but often mourned because I could not, I felt, without my husband's consent. Then by some miracle, we got pregnant again, and I miscarried at 19 weeks. DH who claimed he didn't want any more kids cried like a baby. Then he was DEFINITELY Done!! Never again!!! This time he didn't want to be put through more pain. He was very firm, not budging. I got rid of most of our baby things, I cried all the time, I wanted a child to fill the hole, but I knew he would never change his mind. Then a year later, surprise! Pregnant again, and this time DH was so annoyed! But after about a month, he started to change, soften, and started to get excited. Now he is more excited about this baby than any of the others, and talks constantly of names and such. I don't believe in making rash decisions that prevent you from changing your mind years down the road. Another perspective: Friends of ours had two children before having a procedure done. (Not sure if it was him or her.) Then a horrible thing happened, and their oldest child died when she was only 8 years old. Their youngest daughter was left alone. They were only in their early 30's, and could have easily had another child if the procedure hadn't been done. That could have been so healing for all of them, and brought new life and joy into their lives. Instead, they simply had a hole they could never fill. It is short-sighted in my opinion to remove your freedom of choice. There are other, less permanent options. I have never heard anyone say "I regret giving birth to my last child, I wish he/she didn't exist." But I have heard plenty of moms and dads say, "I regret having this procedure done, I wish I were free to change my mind about having more children some day."

Tisha - posted on 09/14/2012

2

0

0

YES biggest mistake ...but the bright side i had it reversed after remarrying and got pregnant two months later....a miracle story :)

User - posted on 06/29/2012

1

0

0

I'm 24 n I had mine done almost a year ago. I'm actually very happy at the thoughts its not a cerncern anymore but it does make me a lil sad when I think that I won't have anymore kids. I cnt really say either way. It was what was right for me n I'm ok with it.

Jamie - posted on 06/22/2012

3

0

1

I feel the same way and I have five children which includes a set of twins!! I would lOve to have more and soon I will!! Louisville ky has a reversal center and it is 6300 for a reversal!! I go next mOnth to speak with my gyn to be sure after three c sections my uterus would be able to have another!! I have four boys and a girl would love another girl but boys are just as fun either way I love my kids and would love to have mOre my oldest is 11 next are 6 almost 7th old twins then a four almost five year old and an almost three year Old:) I do nOt recommend a tubaI i would suggest the mirena for five years then decide!!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

44 Comments

View replies by

Terra - posted on 07/02/2012

158

67

19

If you are considering getting a tubal then I highly suggest reading up on post tubal ligation syndrome before making the final decision. Some woman who get a tubal will have no problems but many, many others will go on to suffer in pain and some do end up needing a complete hysterectomy that all could have been avoided if they had not had the procedure done. There are other alternatives that will not leave you with a life time of pain and agony.

Alice - posted on 07/01/2012

3

7

0

ive had my done and to this day i regret doing it. I so badly want another baby but at the time i was told either get them tied or if u got preggers again i would die. I had to have an emgercancy C-section with my darling daughter. Three years later i got preganet with twins lost one and darn near lost my son. :( With both i had sever elcamspia was on shots for my son. but i still want one more :(

Bernadette - posted on 07/01/2012

623

5

8

I would say that if you're scared you'll regret it, then you are not 100% certain. I'd hold off...

Rachel - posted on 06/30/2012

204

0

8

You are really putting your long term hormonal health at risk.2/3rds of TLS require a hysterectomy within 7 years. Without a uterus, you are at increased risk for all sorts of degenerative diseases. You may not die sooner, but you can expect to be old a lot longer without functioning ovaries. Everything from wrinkles and hair loss to forgetting everything to losing bone density. Please google estrogen dominance + tubal ligation to see the long term effects of this procedure.

Hope - posted on 06/29/2012

28

17

1

Be warned you might have a weird emotional thing going on after it. I had mine done just over a month ago so no problems as yet, just sad about the no more babies thing even though its best for me and my boys. Good luck xo

Freda - posted on 06/23/2012

56

18

5

I really regret it sometimes but I think I made the right choice in my best interest.

Jamie - posted on 05/07/2012

6

13

0

I had mine done almost 5 months ago. I have 3 girls ages 6 3 and almost 5 months. I had them tied 2 days after my last baby was born. My husband and i decided that our older two were enough and then i found out i was pregnant with our third and we decided that we didnt want anymore.

Melissa - posted on 04/17/2012

13

5

0

If you're having doubts, then maybe your not ready for permanent birth control. You could try Mirena, it can last up to 5 years and give you more time to decided if you are truly done with having kids.

Ellie Richardson - posted on 04/11/2012

215

11

24

I regret it very much. I wish I would of thought it through and just did regular birthcontrol or an alternative because now my girls are bigger and I wish I could have tryed for my boy. I really dont want to put all that money into a tubal reversal because their is no guarantee that I will get pregnant after it. It's all very unpredictable.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/10/2012

2

34

0

I'm regretting mine, I'm 34 and had a TL during my 3rd c-section in January. First off I had internal bleeding after surgery, not sure if the TL was to blame but Im convinced it played a big role. Now 3 months after and my first real period...it's horrible heavy bleeding for over a week now..clots, back pain, intense irritability, depression...none of these symptoms did I ever have prior...in fact I can't wait to get through the night so I can call my doctor jn the morning...it was the biggest mistake I've ever made

Sherry - posted on 02/25/2012

14

5

0

im 25 and had my TL when i was 23 after my second child my daughter my kiddos are 14 months apart and both were emergency c-sections and both premiee.. I thought at that time I was done but now i regret it.. Very sad i just didnt want to go threw another c-section or seeing my babies in the NICU for 8 weeks and not being able to not hold them or see them for 3 days after i delievered.. But now im really wanting another one in a couple years. I cry alot of times knowing i had a TL.. Everyone is different though if you are for sure you dont want another child than i would say do it.. I heard off the show The Docters that its best for the guy to get a viscactume (spelling wrong) than for a women to go threw a TL because it is a major surgery.. My periods have been really heavy now i never use to have heavy periods and im in alot of pain when i have my periods now too. but everyone is different.

Kyna - posted on 02/24/2012

1

22

0

I had my TL done a month after I had my son when I was 22. I'm 27 now & I'm starting to regret it. I am still with my son's father. We've been together almost 8 yrs, we met when my daughter was 1 1/2 yrs old. I found out December of last year that I have recurring ovarian cysts which could or could not become malignant;, and I'm scared that I might not have the chance to have another child. I mentioned the idea of having another baby to my boyfriend (BF) and he was skeptical but after I explained how I felt about it he was a little more open to the idea. However, I have no health insurance and even if I did, I doubt the TL reversal would be covered. So my advice is to seriously think hard about it b/c my OB/GYN asked me back then if I was sure, and I told her yes. Now, I'm just stuck. Nobody can predict the future but I wish I had given it a little more thought.

Belky - posted on 01/13/2011

4

17

0

I got my TL done at 25 years old...I had already 3 kids and my husband and I talked about it through out my 3rd pregnancy...I signed the papers and was a little nervous at first but my husband and I knew it was the right thing to do....if you are truly that nervous then do not do the procedure until you are ready or until you reach another solution....its normal to be nervous though.

Lynn - posted on 01/13/2011

4

28

0

I had gotten the procedure done after my second child.It was easier for them to do it right after I had my daughter being that your tubes is at you bellybutton and the scar isnt very visible. I have some regrets about it and sometimes I think I made the right choice. I haven't experienced any problems just really bad cramps when my menstrual comes.

Karrie - posted on 01/12/2011

71

26

7

I had a TL after having my daughter just 20 days ago I had to have both my children via c-section and my husband and I decided two was good, even though I would have really loved to have a boy we have two girls. After the procedure was done I was feeling devastated wondering what I had just done; even though I was 100% sure I wanted it. My husband was also very sure and afterward was wondering if we made the right choice. But I think it was more of the fact we knew we couldn't have anymore that the choice was gone, not that we want anymore children. It is becoming easier each day to cope with that decision. But it is PERMANENT it has a low chance of reversal and is very expensive to reverse Essure is also PERMANENT if you are not absolutely sure then do not do it. Use a method of BC like IUD that is long term and easy Paragaurd is for 10 yrs with no hormones and Mirena is for 5 yrs with low dose hormones. Then you have the ability to say yes I want another child or no I don't. Good luck in your decision but do not let yourself be guilted into the decision make sure it is YOUR decision it is your body and the inability to have another baby if you later decide you want it. If you think you will have regrets don't do it. Best of luck.

Crystal - posted on 01/12/2011

128

19

16

I have 3 kids, 3,6,8. After my last child I had an option to get a tubal with my insurance if I wanted it. I thought long and hard for a while. Its a decision only you can make. I know there is times when I miss the baby stage but I know it was best to get it done. How many kids do you have? Do you feel your family is complete? If you have any doubt then I would probably think about it some more. I think it needs to be a 100% decision.

Nikkole - posted on 01/12/2011

1,505

31

49

@Kellie Struchen my aunt had her tubes tied and she got pregnant 3 times after that!!! She only had one tubal pregnancy and then had the other 2 normally the tubal baby didn't survive, i hope you dont have one good luck!

Rachael - posted on 01/12/2011

558

22

68

If you are scared you may regret it then I would put the procedure on hold for a little while. If you are 25 you have an entire life time ahead of you and you never know what you may want when you get older. You are no where near the end of your child bearing years and with the number of options available for birth control these days tubal ligation seems extreme just because you think you are done having kids. With any surgery you have risks of scar tissue, bleeding, and anesthesia problems. This is your decision 100% and I am not trying to tell you you are wrong, but if you have any concerns about regret I would wait. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[deleted account]

♥ I got mine done the day after I gave birth to my 2nd child. My kids are 16 months apart and I was afraid of getting pregnant again as fast as I did.I tried the Mirena after my first but it caused me great discomfort and cramps, for the entire 3 months I had it. I then tried BC Pills and got pregnant with my son. I used the Depo Shot when I was younger (my mother forced me) but it caused me to have terrible migraines. The only type I didn't try are the Patches, but my skin is sensitive and I wasn't about to go down that route. But in the end wit all my negative experiences I chose the TL but I wish I would have just had dealt with one of the other options despite the negative outcome I would face. Now I wish I was able to have another ....but if in God's will for our family to be blessed with another it will happen no matter what procedure or medication I'm on. ( The conception of my son is a great example). The Lord is first in my life and all the blessing my family and I share are because of Him. So I had to let it go and put it all in God's hands! ♥

Alicia - posted on 01/11/2011

8

33

0

A tubal ligation is not always reversible. If you have one done when you have a c-section you are pretty much gauranteed that it is a permanent things. I found this out recentlyduring a visit with my OB-GYN. It also costs a lot of money to have a tubal reversed.

Alicia - posted on 01/11/2011

8

33

0

4 years ago at age 27 I had a tubal ligation done after my 4th baby was born & 4th c-section. For the 1st year or 2 I was OK with it, then as time when on I felt more & more like I wish I would have waited until I was 100% sure before having it done. I have 4 beautiful, healthy children, a wonderful husband, a good life, but I just can't shake this feeling of wanting another baby. There's no going back for me now. What's done is done. Just make sure you are 100% sure this is what you want. Make sure it is your decision & that you're not being presured to do it.

Candance - posted on 01/11/2011

6

37

0

I regret having mine done! After the surgery I had problems every month and ended up having to have a hyterectomy.

Heather - posted on 01/11/2011

368

21

41

If you have doubts, don't get it done right away. You can always go back and have it done later, and it is much less expensive then paying to have it done and then coming up with the money to reverse it.

Jessica - posted on 01/11/2011

73

32

8

Last year my husband got a vascetomy and we both have days when we regret it. After my son was born, we both thought that two was enough, but now we're considering adoption in a couple years.

Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2011

23

12

2

another thing about getting your tubes tiied is at least for me, my period is out of control! and the cramps i get now my dr has to give me medication just to deal with the pain! i got it done 6 years ago and i swear my period gets worse every month,plus im so irregular i never know when im gonna get it! im not trying to be negative but if you have doubts then why not try the mirana or the iud?

Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2011

23

12

2

I reget it everyday! Ive been doing alot of research about tubular reversal but its very expensive! anywhere from $8000-$10000! it would be worth it but i cant afford that i already have 2 kids to take care of but somehow someway i will get it done!

Kayleigh - posted on 01/10/2011

214

26

10

Honestly, if you feel you are ready get a TL.. they are reversible, unlike the essure method... I only have one child atm but after the next one, boy or girl doesn't matter, I'm getting my tubes tied.. I don't want more than 2 and that's what my mom did after my little sister was born. to be honest essure sounds like it could potentially cause more problems in the long run than TL does b/c you are putting foreign objects into your body and things like that can move and drift. like I said before its not reversible and I'd like to have that option, and it takes 3 months for it to properly take effect... I don't trust IUD's, I'm definitely not going to trust that...

Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2011

7

22

0

I also had the essure procedure done, and it took a whole 10 min, and was fine right after it, I was able to do everything that I usually do during the day. They tell you that it can be real painful and uncomfortable but I totally disagree, it is more or less as uncomfortable as getting a pap.

Kellie - posted on 01/10/2011

48

30

2

I am 23 and have 2 kids. Both of them were born by c-section. My son was born in Jan. 2009 and I got my tubes tied after I had him. If you are considering getting it done the only thing i recommend is doing research on it. My period is now a month late and I did some research of my own and found out that it is still possible to get pregnant. Its more common than you would think. Now I have to find out if I am pregnant and if I am have to pray that its not a tubal pregnancy.

Stephanie - posted on 01/10/2011

208

25

35

I was 23 and had the essure procedure. It's non-invasive and my husband and newborn stayed in the room with me. I do have regrets but it's from personal reasons and as muchas I may regret it, there was a good possibility that another baby may not survive (or me for that matter). It was a medical necessity... it's hard but if you know you are done having children then go for it. Have your tubes tied is also reversible- it may or may not work... a woman I met had 11 and 8 yr old... then a newborn- she had her tubes tied and didn't want more kids. I think it's all up to you and how comfortable you are with your decision. best of luck to you and if you want to know anything else, just ask.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/09/2011

212

3

24

I know a woman that undid her TL so there is always that. It's normal to be scared.

Momma - posted on 01/09/2011

253

4

37

The only thing I regret after having mine does was thinking I would be pain free. I had the essure done and everything I read about it said I wouldn't be in pain. It's been 3 months and I still cramp when I sit or walk up or down stairs. If I could do it over again I would have gone with a proper tubal. Think about it this way, if you end up regretting it, there is always adoption.

Amanda - posted on 01/09/2011

166

39

7

I was just going to get my tubes tied but at the time i only had medicaid and i had to sign a paper at least 30 days before i had the baby for them to cover it so i had to schedule another time to have them tied and my doc told me about essure and said it was very safe. So instead of cutting me again after i just had a csection I decided to do it this way. I wasn't really sore after the procedure...to tell you the truth i didn't really feel any different (after the sleeping meds. wore off ) but you have to take it easy for a few days.

Rosie - posted on 01/09/2011

168

28

11

Amanda........why did you choose essure as opposed to the TL and how did you feel after the procedure?

Amanda - posted on 01/09/2011

166

39

7

I had the essure procedure done a little while after I had my second baby. I was 23. I had a c-section with the second b/c of medical reasons from the first baby i had. I was happy with my girl and boy so my husband and I decided that we were happy and didn't want to risk my health to have another. There is always adoption if we really want another child one day. Wish you the best.

Rosie - posted on 01/08/2011

168

28

11

Laura, thank you for asking. To be honest with you, i have constant pain in my joints. The rheumatologist said its a connective tissue disease. And the two bones in my right foot are still broken according to my podiatrist. I'm a damn mess and i hate feeling and thinking so negative.

Isobel - posted on 01/08/2011

9,849

0

282

I think that's the best time to have another one...cause you can take care of the baby while they are in school most of the day...but that's just me.

I wouldn't make any hasty decisions if you aren't 100% sure. How are you feeling these days?

Rosie - posted on 01/08/2011

168

28

11

I've experienced two c-sections in the past, and i don't think that my body can tolerate another. My husband and I have one bio child together. And i would love to give him another one, but its now or never. He says, "5-6 years from now", but i think that within that time frame both our kids will be in school. And how can i be attentive to their education and a baby at the same time.

[deleted account]

I'm getting mne done when I turn 25 (that's in 5 months and it's the earliest they'll even consider letting me get it done). I have 3 kds and my hubby and I know we're done, but I am still a bit nervous about it and cared that I may regret it as well. I don't have any advice for you, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk! :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms