Are You still with the babydaddy?/ The reason i ask?

Chilquitta - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 469 moms have responded )

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Today i have notice that most young mom are not with their child father. I want to know if that is true for most young mom. Are you married, or just been together? Do yall have a good relationship or do you hate each other?



I ask because i wanted to know if it was important for a child to know her Biological father because my husband want to get custody of my oldest that is not he's. I wanted to see how many mom's are still with thier child real father or how many mom's step father take care of their child. Her dad want to be in her life but can't take care of her, But he get her every want's in a while. My husband is their daily and take care of her in all ways. Her dad don't mind giving him custody because he can't pay his childsupport payments. But my husband don't want her to have nothing to do with her dad wants he get custody.

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Jillian - posted on 11/17/2009

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I got this quote from my close friend and pretty much sums up the BD situation :) "If I could have the same daughter with a different father when I met my babies daddy I wouldn't have even bothered."

Me and my daughters father don't have a good relationship because he doesn't want to step up to the plate. But instead of being bitter or angry I just do everything in my power to provide for my daughter and make sure she has the life I never had. God blessed me with her and I don't think he would have without providing me a means to take care of her. So I just pray for her father every night and keep pushing no one ever said being Super Mom would be easy ;). Have a blessed day.

[deleted account]

The decision is up to you and your daughters father (not your husband: no offense) He has rights to his daughter but if he is willing to give up custody of her, let him, but do not NOT let him see her if he feels the need to. He may not be financially stable or able to raise her, but he is still her father and that doesnt mean that he cant love her all the same.

She will always be his little girl, no matter what the forms say. She'll always be 100% her daddys little girl. But, it will also be her choice when she grows up as to whether or not she wants him to continue in her future. Let him love her. Its great that your husband wants to raise her as one of his own, but dont deprive her natural father of his right to love his daughter or see her. Regardless of his situation, she may be the only reason he lives.



My sons father and I are trying to make our situation better for our son and ourselves. We do live together but are not together. Its a tough job when you've been apart for so long then you try to make things work again. Everyone is bringing a different flavor to the table and either you live with it or dont. There are tougher situations in life. My daddy always said, "Dont do it for the kid(s) because once they are all grown up and gone, then what do you have?"



I just wish you all the best of luck!



Hope this helped!

Taylor - posted on 11/19/2009

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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and we have two son's together. We have our ups and downs and plans for getting married in the future. If you are having thoughts about leaving your significant other but you are staying together because of the baby...Don't stay. Its not healthy for a family to stay together just because of a child. Yes it is hard and it will have its times, but it will be much better than staying in a relationship that you don't want to be a part of.

Melissa - posted on 11/17/2009

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No, I'm Not With My Daughters Dad.
We Dated For A Little, Had Sex Once...Then He Left Me For Some Other Girl.
Sooo I Didnt Tell Him I Was Pregnant Until I Was 5 Months and He Denied Her Up Until After She Was Born.
I Wouldnt Be With Him If My Life Depended On It.
But I Am Engaged and He Treats My Daughter Like She Is His.
He's Been Around Since I Was 5 1/2 Months Pregnant and Helped Me Through The Worst Times In My Life.
:)

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Jill - posted on 11/22/2009

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i have two kids, they have different dads...i'm not with either. My daughters father is incarcerated, i send him pictures of her and he claims that he will step it up once he gets out...i will never be with him, i just want what is best for my daughter. As for my sons father, i was with him for 2 years...he cheated on me and got the other female pregnant, left me and moved in with her. he never sees my son.

At this point, im completely fine with raising my kids on my own. I dont want my kids to be around negativity, but if their dads decide that they want to be there for their child, i will put everything aside and give them both a chance to be dads

Vicki - posted on 11/22/2009

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Am still wif my little boys dad.Weve been together just over 4 years and been engaged 4 years in Feb.Where still vey happy and in love.We will get married not sure when tho.... ♥

Sarah - posted on 11/22/2009

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im not,we was engaged,living 2gether and planned a child,he left me when i was 3months pregnant,alot hapened and he did some very hurtful things 2 me whilst i was pregnant,his son is nearly 12weeks old now and hes only jus started 2 see him,coz i want my son 2 know his daddy,plus i know sooner or later his daddy will walk away from him.he sees him on my terms (every weds 10am-2pm)

Sara - posted on 11/22/2009

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I am married to my son's father. We had plans to get married before we got pregnant. But as a child myself my father wasn't around much. My mom took care of us all by herself he would only see us once in awhile. When i turned 13 he stopped coming arouond. I do know who he is and it's my choice now not to speak to him. My mom eventually met my dad (stepfather) and he took on responsibility for all three of us kids. He has been a great dad. My bioligical father wouldnt let him have custody of us, but when I turned 18 I went and changed my last name to his. Now my maiden name is the same as my dad's. I think my stepdad coming into our lifes was the best for us. I agree with your man if her real dad still wants to see her than you shall allow that. Eventually she will be old enough to decide if she wants to continue seeing him or not. But I dont think you should throw him out of her life let her make the choice in time. Just my opion hope it helps you.

Pam - posted on 11/22/2009

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hello. i have a 2 year old daughter and her biological father and i broke up about 1.5 years ago. he would tell me that he didn't want a child and that i should get an abortion and how does he even know if our daughter is actually his? that should have been my clue right there. but we tried to work it out for my daughter and we just couldn't work it out. he was very dishonest and non trustworthy as well as in addict. we went to court and we have split custody with my say as the final decision. he gets to see her every Wednesday and every other weekend. i have been dating someone new for about 1 year and 4 months and she absolutely loves him to death. he goes to work every day and comes home and wants to spend every minute with the both of us.



it takes a lot for someone to step into an already made family but there are guys out there like that and i think it is great that your husband takes care of your daughter. and as far as her biological father goes, if he seems to be a good guy and doesn't do any drugs or alcohol or anything else illegal and is just down on his luck about not having enough money to pay for her, then i personally would let him continue to see her if he's interested in being in her life.



i wish you the best of luck with your situation and i hope everything works out for you.

[deleted account]

Hi i am actually 23 and i am still with my two boys husband. avctually in 13 days it will be 7 years for us and we are stil majorly in love and going strong and are trying for our third and have never been unfaithful

[deleted account]

im married 2 my babies daddy but seperated,and i have a child from a previous relationship.it is important for a child 2 know their father,but if thats not possible,what can u do? my oldest son has not seen his father since he was 4 months old and it used to break my heart . thankfull my ex treats him exactly the same as he does our daughter,and i dont think he will ever know how gratefull i am 4 that,he will always be my sons dad no matter what, in fact he's just took them both off 4 the day, so iv got a glass of wine and my marrigolds out,cleaning here i come.....fun fun fun.

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2009

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My daughters father and I are no longer together. We were together just 2.5yrs... Fell pregnant VERY early on in our relationship. Didnt really get to know each other before we were thrown into that. I have about 85% custody of our daughter, he has 15% custody of her. I dont like him, but tolerate him as I believe its important for her to know her father.

My partner, and father of the child I am carrying, looks after my daughter like she is his own. And would happily sign custody papers- if her real father wanted to give up his parental rights-however I would expect my daughters father to think LONG and HARD before he did that to his own flesh and blood.



If your Ex is willing to hand over all parental rights, and leave the picture completely (which is really quiet sad) then he needs to know that there is no turning back. No contacting her in a couple of years because he changed his mind or whatever.



I know you LOVE your husband, but your daughter isn't his- so in reality, the decisions you make regarding her and her father are yours, and yours alone.

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2009

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IMO Every child has a right to see their biological parents!!!! IMO it is your daughter who should make the decision whether to see him or not, not your husband!!! IMO your husband has no business interfering in your daughters relationship with her biological father!!!! I am a single parent but my son's father happens to be my best friend! We used to be in a relationship, we broke up when I was pregnant and since our son arrived we have become very close friends! IMO your relationship with your husband should not impede on your daughter's relationship with her biological father! If I get into a relationship with someone else, get married and have kids with them, even though they will be a father (in a sense) to my son they will have no say whatsoever in my son's relationship with his father! They will also have to accept that me and my son's father are friends, tell each other everything and hang out together alot! Again this is all only my opinion.

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2009

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IMO Every child has a right to see their biological parents!!!! IMO it is your daughter who should make the decision whether to see him or not, not your husband!!! IMO your husband has no business interfering in your daughters relationship with her biological father!!!! I am a single parent but my son's father happens to be my best friend! We used to be in a relationship, we broke up when I was pregnant and since our son arrived we have become very close friends! IMO your relationship with your husband should not impede on your daughter's relationship with her biological father! If I get into a relationship with someone else, get married and have kids with them, even though they will be a father (in a sense) to my son they will have no say whatsoever in my son's relationship with his father! They will also have to accept that me and my son's father are friends, tell each other everything and hang out together alot! Again this is all only my opinion.

Damaris - posted on 11/22/2009

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Well as for me I was a very young mom. I was 17 when I had my daughter and I am not with her dad. It did not work out. I guess he didnot want to grow up. It was kind of a good thing. I meet my husband when I was 19 and he was a blessing. We have been together for 9 years with two girls really three because he took on the father role from the beginning. So all I am saying that it don't always work out but there is always a reason most of the time is because there is something way better out. No need to settle for less.

Damaris - posted on 11/22/2009

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Well as for me I was a very young mom. I was 17 when I had my daughter and I am not with her dad. It did not work out. I guess he didnot want to grow up. It was kind of a good thing. I meet my husband when I was 19 and he was a blessing. We have been together for 9 years with two girls really three because he took on the father role from the beginning. So all I am saying that it don't always work out but there is always a reason most of the time is because there is something way better out. No need to settle for less.

Kat - posted on 11/21/2009

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hey :) im 22 and have been with my partner since i was 17. have a beautiful 3 month old boy. we have had our ups and downs like any couple but over the last three years everything has evened out and we are doing really great. quite a few women i know are younger mothers both with a partner and without. i dont think it makes much of a difference having a partner in regards to good or bad relationships. one friend has difficulties with her partner (they live together) and another young mum i know has a fantastic relationship with her ex partner

Christina - posted on 11/21/2009

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Married going on 5 years on the 28th of Nov, we also have our ups and downs but who dont.. We have 2 little boys 3 & 15 months

Bianca - posted on 11/21/2009

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yes i am, we've been married a year and a half dec 10th, but hes living in texas and im in cali becuz he didnt know how to grow up and continued to smoke weed even after we found out we were having a baby...hes growing up now knowing that he wont be there to see his baby girl being born becuz of drama that he started with my mom! i hate the stuff hes done to separate us, but ill get over it hopefully =]

[deleted account]

Having children definitely puts a strain on your intimate relationships. Me and my husband were married a year and a half before we had our first child. We recently had our second. Things are hectic and there isn't much "us" time anymore. We definitely have our ups and downs but I think that is natural. I know in time there will be opportunities for us to spend some quality time together, but right now it is about the kids, and that is just something a couple needs to accept or most likely they won't make it.

Jannie - posted on 11/21/2009

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I'm still with my baby's daddy. We've been together for 3 years, but its been a tough 3 years. We're happy together, but we're not ready for marriage yet.

Onica - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have been with my child's father for three years now and we're still together. We have a two year old and are expecting our next in february. We're not engaged and we're in no hurry to get married. Things are good for us and we plan on being in this for the long haul.

Kat - posted on 11/21/2009

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Well...depends on the day XD Nah we've been together through a lot for about 5-6 years- I can't say if we'll stay together or not- we're quite happy as is at the moment- oh yeah we can't afford to get married- even if we could I'm not sure i would just yet...

Tracie - posted on 11/21/2009

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well i am currently 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend decided it would be best that he moves out, we dont fight that much but when we do its about the same thing. he thinks by moving out it will help this relationship. in the end i feel alone and worried. my first baby daddy is a dead beat. and my current bf said that nothing has changed just we dont live together i just dont know anymore . i hope to get back with him i mean living togther but its been a month now and seems there no hope and the best part is cuz he is gone we fight more then we did before

Amber - posted on 11/21/2009

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Quoting Chris:

I think it would help if you let us know why you were asking these questions!!! :-)



its obvious she is very curious. curious if there are alot of single mothers. curious as to y some mothers are single and or not married. probably trying to some up a few things that is confusing her.

Amber - posted on 11/21/2009

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i left my first childs father becos he wouldnt put us first, he wouldnt go to work and he would lie over n over about doing drugs or going partying. wen i left him i found someone who put us first. it was awesome!

I think most young mums may have problems becos it was a bit early to have children, one wasnt ready or both wasnt ready..to commit that is/ or to sacrifice wat u have to, to be good parents.

My ex and i are still friends lukily, but i hve forgiven him for a whole lot of crap.

Everybody takes on board things differently.. some people i have met think they would rather not have the daddy around, some mothers would prefer there kids dont knw the father and are very protective. Alot of mothers cant bare to keep the baby from its father becos they wouldnt like the baby to be kept from them either.

So00 many single mums out there though, doesnt matter if they are young or not.

To all the single mummys out there... i admire your strength! Wat doesnt kill you makes u stronger :-)

Amy - posted on 11/21/2009

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im still with the father of my child.3 and half years now.engaged in feb.have alot of ups and downs and been through hell and back over the first 2yrs but we are getting there!!

Brandi - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have been with my "baby daddy" for almost 12 years. We have 3 beatiful girls together. We met in high school and have been together ever since. I love him whole heartedly, but as stated before by others, we have our ups and downs. (I am almost positive it is because the poor man is surrounded by nothing but females.) Even our dog is a female. We were young when we had our oldest. We were both 18. I think the reason we haven't gotten married is because we have both seen our parents divorce, remarry, and divorce again. We are happy with the way things are now. No reason to change it. Don't get me wrong, if he proposed (again) I would jump at that chance and we would RUN to city hall or whatever. I just don't think that right now in our lives it is a major deal to us. I love him and I am going no where soon. Good luck with your situation. It is a tough one. I hope it all works out for the best in the end.

Amberleigh - posted on 11/21/2009

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Ive been married for 2 yrs in Jan. We have our ups and downs, but we love each other more than anything. We have a 7month old baby girl. Shes the best thing to happen to us.

Katie - posted on 11/21/2009

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Wow, the first half a dozen posts I just read are from women who are all still HAPPILY married! I totally don't mean to offend anyone but.... BARF!!!!!

My son's father and I were together for almost 4 years, lived together for 2 of them and engaged for 1 of those....... but never married! And, now that we've split up (for good- absolutely no chance of us getting back together EVER), I'm sure as hell glad we never got married!

We get along really well now, for the most part (as the parents of our almost 3 year old son) but that's the extent of our relationship or even friendship!

Kristina - posted on 11/21/2009

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no my son's dad and i are not together we were together for almost 3yrs. when his ex found out i was pregnant she decided that she wanted him back and had him believing that the timing wasn't right on when i got pregnant and that the baby wasn't his. i was 5mo along when she did this. when i had him 5mo and three hospital stays later he decided that he was the father and he wanted to come around. then his ex who is a ob nurse at the hospital proceeded to tell me that she was in my files and saw my son within the first couple of hours after he was born when she wasnt even working when i had him. this made me very nervous about her. she didnt want him once she found out that the baby was here and i was not with him anymore she wanted to make me feel like the other woman which i was not willing to be. he sees the kids he had with her every weekend for two days and only sees my son every other week when i send him to his mothers house while i work when she changes shifts in january i dont know when he is going to see him. this is the thing that kills me we only fought once before i got pregnant and only bickered about the babies last name never a real fight, but his ex and his now girlfriend love to argue with him all the time. i refuse to do that if he wants to fight he has to go somewhere else.

Lativia - posted on 11/21/2009

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We were married, tried it out for a while...it didn't work out. Afterward it was bad. And it hasn't gotten better, but at this point, I'm totally fine with our arrangement. I don't deal with u, don't u deal with me. My daughter has all the love in the world. After this Shaniyah Davis case, it has really taught me not to force fatherhood on him.

Nicole - posted on 11/21/2009

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I am not with my childs father but we have a great relationship, I love being a single Mom. We may get there in the furture but I am content with the way it is we have great communication and he is very supportive, this is my second child in 7 years and I am excited to have my own family, being a single mother can be hard at time but I must admit it is not that bad!

Brittany - posted on 11/21/2009

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i'm still with my daughters father. we are married. we have been together for 3 and a half yrs and married for a yr and a half. we have a great relationship. we have our ups and downs and we fight sometimes but we always work things out and in the process we learn and our relationship grows.

Sonya - posted on 11/21/2009

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My daughter was planned, and I assumed I would be with her father forever. I was right, but not in the capacity I thought. We got married about 3 months before she was born. We seperated about 3 weeks after her first birthday. We are still close, and talk daily, but we weren't in the same place. We have been seperated for more than a year, and are happier than ever. He is actually having a child with another young girl, and he and I talk about it daily. He will always be a part of my life, because his daughter is my daughter. But we are not in a relationship, just friends. Finally.

Chilquitta - posted on 11/21/2009

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Quoting Victoria:

I am expecting my first child! I'm so happy even though I'm not with the babyfather nomore. He decided to to be with someone else! After we were together for two years where we had our ups and down but Im still being strong and trying to maintain myself and my son to be! And he's not even helping me while I am pregnant carryin his son cause he think it's not his & want's a dna on the day my son is born! He is being so SELFISH trying to had a good time with his new girl! It's okay.. I ain't tripping. I have the best gift ever in my life that god has blessed me with. I don't worry about his business nomore. I'm holding on and being strong even though it's been very hard for me because I never expected this! I'm just gonna keep my head up high and look foward!!!

-Victoria



It Only Get better!

Chaila - posted on 11/21/2009

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Well me and my fiance have been through our ups and downs but we have managed to stay together.

Amber - posted on 11/21/2009

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i am 21 and have a almost 3yo and my and his father are still "together" after our son was born we stared to fight alot at that time he moved out that was in Oct. 2007 we worked things out he moved back in July 2008 we still fight from time to time but who dont? we have talked about getting married but we just are not "ready"... we have beed though a lot together and i think we will be together for a long time!!!

Malakia - posted on 11/21/2009

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im still with my baby's father, weve been together for six years i met him wen i 15 yrs old and weve been together ever since and now we have our beautiful baby girl, there is nothng left for us to do but get married and we r planning that very soon!!

Stephanie - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have been married for three yrs; we have managed to stick out because of our children. We have a great relationship but that does not mean we dont have our share of problems. I have known my husband since we children

Stephanie - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have been married for three yrs; we have managed to stick out because of our children. We have a great relationship but that does not mean we dont have our share of problems. I have known my husband since we children

Latoya - posted on 11/21/2009

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My baby daddy and I was together for 7 years we finally broke up about 2 years ago. We became friends and it work like that for a while. Then he got a girl friend and he started changing on me. Right now we are still friends but Im trying to get past him and move on with my life. We had a great relationship and we have an okay relationship right now

Amanda - posted on 11/21/2009

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I've been with my son's father for 9 years (married now for just over a year) and are still going strong. Like every relationship we have our ups and downs...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. My son is only 3 1/2 months right now, but I don't think him getting older will change things much. My hubby is my best friend, and I wouldn't trade him for anything : )

Jessica - posted on 11/21/2009

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I think that most people that get pregnant "young" usually get pregnant before the REALLY know the other person, and that's why the relationship doesn't work out. Having a baby really changes the whole dynamic of your relationship and adds tons of stress, and some people realize it just doesn't work. My fiancee and I have been together for almost 7 yrs, and were together for 4 before our daughter was born. It's not always perfect, we all have our moments, but we truly happy together.

Kodida - posted on 11/21/2009

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Yes me and the father of my daughter are together. We been through a lot both as a couple and as Best friends, and are constantly working on our relationship to make sure it can be the best for our daughter.

Katelyn - posted on 11/21/2009

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like every couple my fiance and i have our ups and downs. i guess you could say thats how i got this way :p our baby wasnt planeed and we dont have the perfect relationship. but than again no one does. I love him more than anything and we plan on getting married after the baby. I dont know how old most of you women are but im only 19 ill be 20 in may. All i know is age does not define how well of a mother or wife/ gf you can be

Katelyn - posted on 11/21/2009

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like every couple my fiance and i have our ups and downs. i guess you could say thats how i got this way :p our baby wasnt planeed and we dont have the perfect relationship. but than again no one does. I love him more than anything and we plan on getting married after the baby. I dont know how old most of you women are but im only 19 ill be 20 in may. All i know is age does not define how well of a mother or wife/ gf you can be

Katelyn - posted on 11/21/2009

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like every couple my fiance and i have our ups and downs. i guess you could say thats how i got this way :p our baby wasnt planeed and we dont have the perfect relationship. but than again no one does. I love him more than anything and we plan on getting married after the baby. I dont know how old most of you women are but im only 19 ill be 20 in may. All i know is age does not define how well of a mother or wife/ gf you can be

Sarah - posted on 11/21/2009

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Quoting Krystal:

personally i think a relationship changes after u have kids, SOMETIMES i think most of the time it does. Am i the only 1 that thinks that?


Not the only one who thinks that. Everything changes when you have a baby. It's easy to foucus on your relationships and your self when you dont have kids. Then bring a baby into the picture and it puts your relationship on hold. Life suddnly becomes about the baby you bring into the world (as it should) I was 17 and in 11th grade when I had my son. EVERYTHING changed. Yes I grew up very fast but I wouldnt trade it for anything. Today, were married we have 4 kids now and while yes it was a big change we made the changes together and grew up together. We are so much stonger now for that.

Sarah - posted on 11/21/2009

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My husband and I were high school sweethearts and we did have 2 of our kids before we were married but now have 4 kids together and will be married for four years This December. we were together on and off for 3 and half years before we tied the knot. We most definitely have had our ups and downs but today we have a much stronger relationship because of that fact.

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