Are You still with the babydaddy?/ The reason i ask?

Chilquitta - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 467 moms have responded )

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Today i have notice that most young mom are not with their child father. I want to know if that is true for most young mom. Are you married, or just been together? Do yall have a good relationship or do you hate each other?



I ask because i wanted to know if it was important for a child to know her Biological father because my husband want to get custody of my oldest that is not he's. I wanted to see how many mom's are still with thier child real father or how many mom's step father take care of their child. Her dad want to be in her life but can't take care of her, But he get her every want's in a while. My husband is their daily and take care of her in all ways. Her dad don't mind giving him custody because he can't pay his childsupport payments. But my husband don't want her to have nothing to do with her dad wants he get custody.

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467 Comments

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Keri - posted on 11/20/2009

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I'm very sorry that ya'll are not in love anymore.  And congrats on keeping it cival.  I bet the divorce is hard on you and the kids...my prayers are with you and your family.  It's very hard to admit you are not in love anymore and to put your kids in best interest to get a divorce.  It's better for them to be out of a love less marriage. 



Quoting tilainnia:

no he and i are getting a divorce, but we still get alone, we just arent in love any more





 

Keri - posted on 11/20/2009

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I have two kids, three and 7 months. My husband and I have been married for over three years now been together for six. The married years have def been the hardest of our relationship but we work hard at our relationship everyday. We love each other and our kids very much. As for being a young mom, I had my first at 18 and got married a few month after. It bothers me when people assume we got married because of the baby but that's just not true for us. We are very much in love were then and are now.

Tilainnia - posted on 11/20/2009

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no he and i are getting a divorce, but we still get alone, we just arent in love any more

Elizabeth - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am married and we just had our 3 year anniversary. We have a really great relationship even though most people thought our marriage would not last because I was only 19 when we got married. I see no problem with single moms. My sister was a single mom for a long time and did fine. But for me being married was important because of my beliefs. All people who are together have ups and downs even if they are not married. It is just a part of life and no two people think alike all the time. I think what makes our marriage work is that we have the same values and a lot of the same interests and we also take the time to talk about things when we think differently.

Sarah - posted on 11/20/2009

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Me and my bf are together 10 years in March, we got one 3 year old and another on the way, i wants to get married but he doesnt and we do have our ups and downs as any normal relationship, sometimes i have wanted to leave but i have stayed and we worked it out

Kaitlyn - posted on 11/20/2009

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I guess i fit the stereotype. My ex and i were together for 4 years. It was a toxic relationship for both of us and after it ended i found out i was pregnant. Things are not on civil terms yet, but hopefully in the years to come we can both mature and create a healthy situation for our son.

Gladelia - posted on 11/20/2009

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Yes I am still with my child's father...we have been together about a yr so we have had many problems as would any relationship...We are not married but he wants to get married but I am not ready yet lol!

Christina - posted on 11/20/2009

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im not with my first three kids dad. was married to him for five yrs. didn't work out for us. we get along and we share joint custody of the kids. im still with my other two kids father. we are very happy together. we are talking about getting married when he gets home.

Marianne - posted on 11/20/2009

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been together with my partner for almost 8 years now, not married but engaged, and we have two kids who are 3 and a half and 16 months.

Theresa - posted on 11/20/2009

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NOPE! If I could've had my son without ever seeing his face, I'd have it that way. That should pretty much sum up how I feel about him ;]

Shanna - posted on 11/20/2009

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wow well im wit my baby daddy and i say its for my boys they deserve afather but then again i hate myslef for getting back wit him because im misrable most of the time but that not because are realtionship suxz its more about money and not having things we need and jus struggling him not having a job and being home not helping wit the kids and me suporting this family on 696 a month off of ssi isnt enough and im stressed so we fight alot but were not married we jus been together for 5 years and its been a adventure lol but yea thats my issue wit my baby daddy lol i love him and i wish we could jus be stabble so we ddint have to fight so much but im sure if its not money its gonna be somthing else it always is .. well i hope trhat answered ur question

Lexi - posted on 11/20/2009

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My husband and I just got married but we have been together for 5 years now. With second baby on the way : D

Aini - posted on 11/20/2009

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i have been married to my husband for 4 years and together almost 8. we had a rough beginning. always fighting blah blah blah but then we GREW up and desided to settled down together. it isn't always easy because he is gone from 7a to 7p, but surely the birth of our daughter 21 months go brought us together on a hole knew level!! it's amazing and we have desided to start trying on baby number 2 next month:) just remember the grass isn't any greener on the other side though if your not happy, don't linger around, drag it out ,just get the heck out..

my sister is going through a much needed divorce right now. she tried for years (11) to keep her family together but the fighting all the time her boys really were starting to act out and her oldest said to her "mom why are u staying" she finally after many attempts to leave packed her and the kids up and left.

Terey - posted on 11/20/2009

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My fiancee and I have been together for 5 years and have two children. We have always had a great relationship but when I got pregnant, that certainly changed the dynamic between us. But we talked about what we both wanted and what we were prepared to do to get there. We nourished our relationship outside of our children-we pray together, discuss our fears and dreams WITHOUT ego and had the blessing of two supportive families behind us. When times get hard...and they always get hard, emotionally, financially, socially etc-we backed each other up no exceptions. You need to trust the other person to love you at your worst; which is pretty darn scary. Now we are making plans to get married b/c we want to be husband and wife, we've built a strong foundations that can withstand the ups and downs of life. Our children deserve to come from a partnership that was cultivated in love and wisedom. I know plenty of women who married the father just to avoid the shame of an outofwedlock baby....which sometimes can be an even bigger disservice to everyone involved-there is NOTHING worse than seeing a man/woman who really can't stand being a parent or spouse...because its a fact, over time that person will find a way NOT to be a parent/spouse. Now ladies, please tell me you've seen this as well??

Melissa - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am with my baby daddy. We have been together for a little over 2 years...and our little girl is 5 months old. We have a great relationship...we definitely bring out the best in one another. I love him more than anything and can't wait to one day be his wife :-)

Jen - posted on 11/20/2009

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We've been together for 8 years and have a 5yr old and 1yr old. We (finally) got married 7 months ago and we are doing great. Dont get me wrong, about 3yrs in to our relationship we had our 1st child and it was hard on us being young and new parents. We split for about 6 months but realized we wanted to be together. Since then we have bulit a wonderful family and are even thinking about expanding it.

Shawnnell - posted on 11/20/2009

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I have been with my daughter's father since ' 99 and pretty much our relationship is okay we do have them times were i zap out but he still be cool calm and collect that it urks me then it those times he gets his little attitudes but we are still together with a beautiful little girl. Hes such a good guy he even takes the bullsh*t off my family when another guy wouldnt deal with half the crap he deals with but thats another topic. i love him so much. Its bringing tears to my eyes as im typing.

Williams - posted on 11/20/2009

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I'm 23, my husband and I have been together since I was 16, married when I was 18 and we have 3 beautiful children together!

Nicole - posted on 11/20/2009

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I've been with my girls daddy going on 8 years now, not married but engaged.

We have known each other since we were 12 and have been close friends ever since. We had our first daughter at age 18 and our second little girl at 22, we are 24 now and things couldn't been any better for us as a family. I'm with my Life partner, my Soul Mate and my Best Friend, what more could I ask for. I'm a stay at home mom and he provides for his family and doesn't believe in me having to work that's his job he says.

Shallon - posted on 11/20/2009

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My husband and I are about to celebrate 5 years. We have 3 beautiful kiddos, and are extremely happy! Like other moms have said, there are ups and downs, but every relationship goes through those whether you are married or not.

Ashlie - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am not with my babydaddy but i did have my 2nd child when we were not together. Our relationship is complicated. We do get along jus fine and people think we are still toghether when we're not. I do have friends that are with the father of the child and some friends aren't.

Josephina - posted on 11/20/2009

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i am 24 and i am not with my 1st baby daddy or my 2nd baby daddy. the 1st dad and i called it quits right after our son was born but it has taken 5 yrs and me and him and my fiance and his wife all have a good relationship with each other. we didn't always get along and like i said it takes alot of agreement on both parts and extra displine when your child is split between houses. and the 2nd baby daddy or as i like to call him sperm donor hasn't had anything to do with our daughter since she was 1 yr. we called it quits before i found out i was pregnant with her. and as for my 3rd baby daddy yes we are still together. our son is 16 months old. we have been together since i was 7 months pregnant with my daughter by the 2nd baby daddy. he had been so good to me and my children from previous relationships. we have been together for 3 years and like any normal couple we have our ups and downs but we are still happy and planning on getting married sooner or later.....

Christine - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am married and have been for a lil over a year now! we have a 1y/o together but we were planning on getting married before we found out i was pregnant! we have our ups and down, and i pretty sure every couple will married or not. i dont feel you should be together or get married just cuz you have a kid together, but as someone else said it is important for you guys to get along and let the child see you do love each other.. there are different loves, you dont have to love them as if they were you boyfriend or husband but love them just because they are the father of your child and friend. you guys will be seeing each other for the rest of you childs life so you have to atleast try your hardest to get along, it is much easier on the child that way. I have a friend who her and her husband stayed together for years just for the kids.. and it really messed with the kids heads when they got older.. cuz the kids blamed themselves for the parents unhappiness.. you just have to do whats right for you and your child as well.. being in a relationship where you guys hate each other and fight all the time will in time effect the child.. deeply.. and you dont want that!!

Claire - posted on 11/20/2009

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Im 28 and my Daughter has just turned 3. I was with my baby's dad for about 3 years, but we parted about 2 n half years ago. We were not married and to be quite honest It wasn't a good relationship. I had no choice but to get away for the sake of my child and myself. He was an alcoholic and not a very nice man in the end. He was 14 years older than me, and in no fit state to hold down a job or change his ways! To be honest he was a poor excuse of a man. I was very shocked when I got pregnant n thought he mite of changed, but after many of chances, he didn't! So I had to think what was best for me and my child. All I can say is at least one good thing came out of our relationship and for that I will always love him, but would never dream of being with him again. He put me through a lot of pain, but I came bouncing back and I am a better mother and person now, because of that.

[deleted account]

I am 24 years old and yes i am still with my children's father. we have two girls together age 2 and 2 months but we just recently married. Great relationship i couldn't imagine my life without him!

Leis - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am not with my sons father. We were togather for 3 1/2 years, it was the love that made me blind to what was going on. I was being emontionally, mentally abused then after my son was born it turned to physical abuse. At that point I new I had to get out, it wasn't heathly for my son and myself. So I packed everything that I could for my son and hopped on the bus to my parents house. I was dumb enough to try to work things out, but then as we were trying to work things out he decided to cheat and I was over it. I realized he wasn't worth all the heart ache and pain. It took me 2 yrs to forgive him ( but well never forget what he has done to me) I well never get back togather him, but I do hope he changes for the better and not hurt another or even my son. It's tuff starting over and getting back on my feet, but I am slowly getting there. For other abused women out there, getting hit is not love, ;putting u down is not love, fighting with them everyday is not love, find the strength to get out of the relationship (if you have kids) let that be ur strength kids are to innocent to see there mother beaten, it's not far to the kids, someone else well love you for who you are and well treat you with respect. Now I am not saying it well be easy, it's one of the hardest things to through but in the long run you well be alive to watch your kid/s grow up.

Alysha - posted on 11/20/2009

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a little of a year with my n the baby daddy♥ we have our ups n downs but what relationship don't we r gettin married next year

Lara - posted on 11/20/2009

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I got pregnant when I was 18 right before I graduated high school. I got married a few months later. We now have 2 children and we have been married for 4 1/2 years. Weve been together for 5. Its been a rough ride but we love each other very much. On top of raising 2 children we are helping each other continue to grow up and learn new things as well. I cant say its been the easiest experience Ive ever had, but I love him still to this day as much as I did in highschool and I wouldnt cahnge it for the world.

Katrina - posted on 11/20/2009

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I'm 22 and my husband is 24. We've been married for 5 years and 2 kids. We've had our up and downs, but nothing out of the norm. Still very much in love and going strong!!

Contessa - posted on 11/20/2009

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My husband and I have been together for 5 yrs. I grow to hate him more everyday bc he cheated on me with his ex because apparently after i had our child he thought i looked like shit. I want to leave him at times but it hurts because I still love his dumb ass! I just wish he could change....

Ashley - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am no longer with my baby daddy we broke up before I found out I was pregnant. He has never seen his son and he is now 3 months. It's better for my son that he's not around though he's to envolved in drugs to care about anyone but himself.

Victoria - posted on 11/20/2009

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I have been married with my husband for 1 1/2 years now we have one kid and he has two from past.I would say married life isn't easy we have up and down just some other couple but we always resolve our issues and talk everything we could possibly to fix it,after all we always have god in the center of our relationship plus we love each other like crazy and we couldn't just give up so easily though there will always be an obstacle but that is part of our everyday lives as we grow together.

Maria - posted on 11/20/2009

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Quoting Chilquitta:

Are You still with the babydaddy?

Today i have notice that most young mom are not with their child father. I want to know if that is true for most young mom. Are you married, or just been together? Do yall have a good relationship or do you hate each other?



I am still with my sons father. We have been together going on 3 years and it's funny because it was truly supposed to be a one night but I found out I was pregnant 1 month after being with him but knew nothing about him....long story short if there is no love there that does not mean love can not be there... we are very much in love today and have a handsome little angel for a son.

Kim - posted on 11/19/2009

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I'm married to my kids daddy..have now going on 4yrs...we got pregnant with are first little girl after 4months of knowing each other i found out a week before we got married and he found out a day before due to he was out to sea and i didn't wanna tell him threw an email...now we have another little girl. and are trying to have another.. :)

Rebecca - posted on 11/19/2009

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i have been with my partner for 3yrs 7months, i fell pregnant 6 months into our relationship. we have had our ups and downs, i even moved my son and i out of the house we rented and went back to my paarents house for a year, we were still together but Joel (my SO) needed to sort his shit out. i am very glad he figured out that his son and i are what matters to him

we are now trying to save a deposit so we can buy our own house and within the next 5years have another baby

Shanita - posted on 11/19/2009

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Im still with my son's father. Its hard but Im determined to NOT be a statistic; as soon as the baby is born, the parents split. We have our ups and downs but we are making it through

Stephanie - posted on 11/19/2009

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My husband and I got pregnant only a month of knowing one another. We had our beautiful daughter Kayla and then ended up seperating. We are still seperated and going to get a divorce. We do not hate each other, we just stopped getting along and decided the best thing for the three of us would be to split up. He is still a very involved, loving and wonderful father and continues to see his daughter every other weekend and wheneber he can during the week whether it be after work or after school

Angie - posted on 11/19/2009

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yes i am still with my childs father and we have been married since before my daughter was born and we are happily married.

Kate - posted on 11/19/2009

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I'm expecting (5 months) and I ended up breaking up with the baby's father the 2nd month because of his disrespect and drug/alcohol problem and then lying about that. After I broke up with him he got even more crazier, would call and be nice and say he's gonna buy the baby a stroller during the week and then next tell me he's broke. He still hasnt done anything for the child and still continues to want to party and be dead beat and stress me out, and then tells me he'd get me for kidnapping if I moved out of state with the child, only because he wants control over me. Eventually I said fuck it, I can do this on my own, since I already am. I now have a restraining order on him.

Sarah - posted on 11/19/2009

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I am a 22 year mom with a 4 month old baby. My daughters dad and I are still together, and have plans on getting married in the future. We have a fantastic relationship which is hard to come by. i have also noticed that alot of young mothers are not with their babies fathers as well and actually my younger sister is a prime example that. They weren't able to cut it as a couple and to this day are on very strained terms to say the very least.

[deleted account]

Well, here's my story: I have two boys, ages 9 and 2, and I'm not with either of the fathers. I have never been married. Or engaged. Both boys have a different father, which were both 5 year relationships for me. When I realized that "daddy" was acting like I needed to be changing his diapers, too, I had to say "this will not work." (Not that it was that quick or simple, but for time sake.) I still have friendly relationships with both fathers now, even though they both resented me at first. Some people think I was selfish, but that's their opinion, and they're entitled to it. I am a good mother, and have 2 amazing little men. I put myself through college, and I am happy with my life and the experiences I've had. I guess I'm a strong believer of not staying in it "just for the kids," because in the long run, I believe that would just hurt the babies more.

Melissa - posted on 11/19/2009

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well i am young mother and i am still with my baby daddy but i must admit that the relationship has changed since she has born.. some times i does get the urge to kick his ass but i normally turn to jesus . it appears as though the babies are gettin all the attention while the moms are placed on the back burner....

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