Asking too much of my friends?

Crystal - posted on 12/11/2010 ( 101 moms have responded )

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So I know diseases like Polio and Chicken Pox are all pretty much gone now thanks to Vaccinations- but there have been outbreaks of diseases lately because of people choosing not to vaccinate their children or not keeping up to date on their own boosters.

Here in WA Polio and Pertussis are making a comeback and I'm due to give birth this month to a baby girl. I've asked all my friends and family to make sure they are vaccinated and that if they are not, to please let me know. Most are cool with it, but others think I've crossed a line.

I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their life- I'm just trying to prevent their choices from affecting mine. I don't want my kids to get sick. Pertussis is Deadly to infants who can't be vaccinated for it.

I guess I need advice on how to handle it. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or "violate" their rights- but I want my kids to be safe.
How should I handle it?

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Nicole - posted on 12/11/2010

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At first I was surprised to hear Laura say she wouldn't bother to visit a friend's baby if the friend asked her about her immunization record. Then I started to think about it.

Immunizations are a sensitive topic right now. I was in a biopsychology class where our professor asked us who had been immunized for H1N1. No one raised their hands and he said to us, "if you so much as get a sniffle, don't come to class."

There is talk now about 3rd hand smoke and some moms won't let someone hold their baby if that person hasn't changed their entire outfit since their last cigarette.

Is it extreme? Yes.
Will it offend some people? Yes.
Is it wrong to set limits for the sake of your baby? Hell no.

Mary Renee - posted on 12/13/2010

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Nobody said let sick people around the baby. I just think it's a little anal but that's everyone's right as a parent. No one is arguing against that. But she honestly asked if it was too much to ask and I honestly answered that I think it's a little intrusive. Just don't invite people over until the baby has had the vaccine.

I'll just let everyone know in advance that if you think you can protect your child from every ill of the world you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes, you use carseats, you vaccinate, you childproof... but kids are kids, they're going to find trash and eat it, they're going to stick stuff up their noses. Are you going to homeschool your child too, just in case the other parents haven't had their pertussis booster? Children eat a pound of dirt by the time they're 18. I'm not saying put your baby around a bunch of people with pertussis, but if you're that concerned just keep her inside for two months because they can get the vaccine when they're two months.

It's like trying to have the rest of the world accommodate one person, instead of just keeping the infant inside for two months and then getting her vaccinated. Much much simpler and less obnoxious, in my humble opinion.

Stifler's - posted on 12/12/2010

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santising things and them eating the antibacterial shit is worse than a few germs.

April - posted on 12/14/2010

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I am not vaccinated nor is my 15 month old daughter. I have done a lot of research on vaccines, the companies that create them, the effects of having them vs not having them.
I feel that for my family, vaccines arent the best choice.
I think that everyone should do their research and make their own decision with what they are most comfortable with. It is a topic that is very debated right now and i think that by asking people to get vaccinated, you are asking too much. I understand your concern for your child. When i was pregnant h1n1 was just becoming a big deal. About 5 people that i know got that strand and I was very worried. I took a lot of precautions to stay well.
My suggestion to you is to keep your baby home as much as possible, breastfeed (your child is unlikely to get sick if you breastfed), and you can go to a health food store and give your baby DHA (fish oil), Vitamin D and Vitamin C. I would also recommend doing that for 10 days before your child gets vaccines. They are less likely to have their immunity broken down after the vaccine if given those vitamins... it also protects the brain. Pertussis is making a huge comeback, but your child will get the first vaccine at 3 months, then you wont have to worry so much.
if you arent comfortable with friends who arent vaccinated, dont let them come over for 3 months. Although, un-vaccinated friends are less likely to have the flu or a cold bc their immune system should be a lot stronger. You wont get the whooping cough from a well person...
Good luck. We all try to do what we think is best for our babies and I dont think any of us should be judged. :)

Mary Renee - posted on 12/13/2010

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BTW, my daughter is 7 months old, we live in Hawaii, I was taking her on walks when she was 5 days old, her first trip in the water at the beach was when she was two months old, we took a plane to see family when she was three months old, and she plays with other kids and babies in my stroller strides group 3 days a week. She's breastfed and she has never been sick, never had a cold, and never run a fever.



She gets her shots when she's supposed to and we've never had a problem, nor have I ever demanded to know if someone was vaccinated or not.

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101 Comments

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Jenny - posted on 12/21/2010

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If they are truly your friends and really care about you and the health of your child when she's born then they shouldn't have a problem with it.

Amanda - posted on 12/20/2010

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no your not asking to much and I agree with u...they are either going to get over it or not...either way ur child comes first and i would do the same.

Destinee - posted on 12/18/2010

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I live in the US, and immunizations are not legally mandatory, though many schools and daycares will refuse to allow your child to attend unless they have been vaccinated. Personally, I think the whole thing is a little ridiculous, but that's just me, and yes, my son has been vaccinated. LOL
As for your issue, I agree that you've basically stated your argument right here. If you feel strongly about your child being protected from disease as much as possible, it is both your right and your duty as a parent to enforce your beliefs, even if it hurts someone else's feelings. As someone else stated, they're adults-they'll get over it. :-) You do what you feel is best for the health and well-being of your child.

Kat - posted on 12/17/2010

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Asking someone to be vaccinated if they have chosen not to is a breach of there rights. Every person has the right to make a decison based on the facts,religious beliefs etc. As many ppl have stated, if you are so worried about it all don't let your child near these people till your child has there own vacinations. I personally would never demand such a thing of people. But my son was prem and everyone respected our decsions not to have ANyone but immediate family visit him in hospital and until he had his vaccinations, exp if they were sick at the time, my son has only had 2-3 bouts of sickness in his entire 3yrs. he has no other health issues whatsoever. I'm not a clean freak and I do not believe in sanitising everything, as when I was younger because of my mum doing that I was sick on and off for the 1st yr and a half of my life. Dr van Eps who is now my sons dr to, and was mine as a child tolkd my mother to allow germ dirt etc around me, otherwise my immune system will never develop fully, I've let my son be dirty grubby and etc, He has one of the best immune systems around.

Elysia - posted on 12/17/2010

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i didnt realise that polio was coming back but certainly new about whooping cough. ive had a few ppl i know come into contact with it or have it. thankfully within our group we all have children so we all notify one another and stay away when we should. sadly we prob wont even c my younger brother who is 18 over xmas as he has whooping cough and is in hospital with it as hes an asthnatic and its caused phnumonia. so if it can do this to an 18yr old im not taking chances with my babies who r both under 2.
but to answer ur question no i dont think your over stepping the bounds, i uess i can c where some ppl miye b upset being asked to be vacinated but the shoukdnt def let u know so u can make an informed choice about the time your child spends with them.
there r always going to b ppl that are vaccinated but as a newborn it is very important to limit chances as its far morew dangerous the younger the child

Joanne - posted on 12/17/2010

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I don't think you've crossed a line- when I was expectimg my second baby- according to my blood tests my immunity to chicken wasn't at levels doctors like and was told to stay away from anyone who had any contact with someone with chicken pox. I informed my employer of this and he moved me to an area in the workplace- less contact with people who may have had chicken pox-except the manager's kids got chicken pox and the manager hadn't had chicken pox himself- he came down with chicken pox and I had been working right beside him- I was quite upset that the manager hadn't bothered to inform me he hadn't had chicken pox or that his kids had them! So personally if you can at all I would keep people who had been exposed to dieases away from you if possible, even if vaccinated, especially since your vacination levels could be low. My son was fine but for the rest of my pregancy I was scared to death, as my granma was exposed to Ruebella while she was pregnant and had a still born on account of it- they said upon examination if the baby girl would have lived she would have been both deaf and blind!

Jessica - posted on 12/16/2010

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Just to clarify a fact in your original post...there is NOT an outbreak of Polio in your area, it would be all over the news. There hasn't been a natural case of Polio in the US since before 1994.

I can definitely understand you not wanting anyone spreading germs to your child, and while I respect your right to not spend time with unvaccinated children, you have no right to tell them to get vaccinated. That is a personal decision. You don't know whether they or their children have had serious, life threatening reactions to vaccines. I have a friend whose baby died the night he got his DTaP, she does not vaccinate any of her other children.

[deleted account]

Personally, I would be more likely to ask that they not come and visit your baby if they are showing any signs of illness. Vaccine status is irrelevant IMO.

And just so you know, live virus vaccines can "shed" meaning that your baby could possibly contract the illness from someone who is recently vaccinated. (http://insidevaccines.com/wordpress/2008...)

Elfrieda - posted on 12/16/2010

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I think that the baby is protected for a few months by your breastmilk. Whatever protection you have, from vaccinations or having had the disease, is passed on to the baby. At least that's my understanding.

Tiffani - posted on 12/16/2010

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Its not crossing the line but you have to remember there are people who can not help it. I worked in a hospital and I needed a hep vacanation but I am allergic to yeast and that vac is highly contaminated with yeast so I cant. It is then my job to protect myself and keep safe with my patients. I also worked in a peds office and several parents didnt get there kids vac. because they were allergic. Every nurse in the office would talk bad about them but you cant help how you are created. if you allergic you just are, there is nothing you can do.

Rosa - posted on 12/16/2010

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I think you you have the right to ask....just as they have the right to make the choice not to vaccinated, you have the right to decide who your child should be around. I agree with the previous post you will be the one caring for your child should they contract any disease. As always do what you want that is your child and no one has the right to tell you what to do with them.

[deleted account]

I think you are entitled to ask this. If someone gets offended, politley remind them that they are not the ones that will be caring for YOUR child if they contract such an illness. If feels weird I know, as I also ask things such as for people to wash hands or use sanitizer before touching my boy (3 months old) Even my mom who came to help me during the first month, she smokes, and I was adament that she not touch him with nicotine on her hands... I think I almost insulted her, but he is MY boy and it's my choice to make.
In your situation, it's not about violating THEIR rights, it's about standing up for YOURS. I guess I may personally be selfish about my boy, but in the end, I am responsible for him, no one else. Good luck and God Bless.

Jodi - posted on 12/15/2010

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Laura, did you read that entire paragraph? Here it is again:
Pertussis vaccines are very effective in protecting you from disease but no vaccine is 100% effective. If pertussis is circulating in the community, there is a chance that a fully vaccinated person, of any age, can catch this very contagious disease. If you have been vaccinated, the infection is usually less severe.
Pay special attention to the first and last sentence. No one said a vaccine was 100%...and a carseat isn't 100% guaranteed to save your child, nor is any other protective measure ever taken for our children (smoke alarms, outlet covers, baby gates, etc etc.) 100%. But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't take ANY precautions to protect our children. But, just that paragraph alone shows that the vaccine DECREASES the chance of spreading it/contracting it AND that having the vaccine decreases the severity of the symptoms.

[deleted account]

I agree with you totally on this one. I mean, I don't think you are crossing any form of line. All you are doing is trying to keep your baby safe and personally, if some people won't tell you because of their "rights" or what ever, just avoid letting them see your baby. I mean, you have rights too, to protect your children. And by all means, if that means that they can't see your baby, then boo hoo, they should have thought about that before they were acting like an idiot.

I mean you are right, you are not being judgemental or forcing them to have vaccinations or anything, you just need to know, for safety sakes. Seems to me like some of these "friends" aren't being very good "friends" at all in my opinion. And yes I get told that I am very cold hearted, but boy oh boy I would rip anyone's head off if I knew that they were going to hurt my baby. Lol. So I think you need to do what is right by you and your child. Life is always give and take, but sometimes you just need to stand your ground and say no way.

Long story short, I would just tell them, that you are trying to protect your child from things that could be potentially life threatening, and if your friends can't handle that, they weren't much of a friend to begin with.

Tia - posted on 12/15/2010

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I think that is a fine way of handling it. People are just idiots. Not that I am for or against vaccinations but to get offended? Don't sweat it - you did the right thing

Mary - posted on 12/15/2010

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I think it is completely within your right and standing to ask whether they have been vaccinated or not. I also think its very reasonable and smart to require the vaccinations as a condition of visitation. If they do not want to get the vaccination and you feel like they are endangering your child, then by all means let them know that they cannot see you or the baby, and tell them why. It is completely understandable.

Krissy - posted on 12/15/2010

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Pretty much I would say it shws you who your true friends are , the friends that wanna keep you and your little ones safe , I think your in the right with wanting the best for you , your children and your unborn baby

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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ps...that last quote said "there is a chance that a fully vaccinated person, of any age, can catch this very contagious disease."

so I HIGHLY recommend that you keep your child in the basement until vaccinated!

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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aaaaaaaaand...what are the chances of catching the whooping cough from somebody who has NO symptoms?

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2010

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Since the OP specifically mentions whooping cough (pertussis), here are some facts on whooping cough and it's rise in our nation:

"With outbreaks that cycle every three to five years, the respiratory tract infection might peak again this year, and the CDC recommends you get a booster shot soon.



We're not off to a good start. In June, California declared a whooping cough epidemic after the death of five infants. So far there have been nearly 3,000 reported cases across six states, according to the CDC, a sevenfold increase compared with this time last year."



http://www.livescience.com/health/whoopi...



This one I copied and pasted it's entirety because it's relatively short and sweet and to the point. It touches on whooping cough, polio and mumps:

http://www.nfid.org/pdf/pressconfs/duma0...



Here is a summary of some recent outbreaks in California, Michigan and Ohio, showing whooping cough outbreaks to be on the rise. It does not mention whether or not lack of vaccinations is a cause or reccomend vaccinations in this particular section, it just gives recent outbreak history. But, it shows that whooping cough is a concern for certain areas (such as washington which is relatively close to California for the OP.)



Recent Outbreak Activity

Localized outbreaks of pertussis are not uncommon and occur throughout the year. Some examples of current pertussis activity in the US include:



•From January to November 30, 2010, more than 7,200 cases of pertussis (including ten infant deaths) were reported throughout California. This is the most cases reported in 63 years when 9,934 cases were reported in 1947 and the highest incidence in 52 years when a rate of 26.0 cases/100,000 was reported in 1958. Previously, the peak was in 2005 when there were 3,182 cases reported. Visit the California Department of Public Health website for the most recent information.

•In Michigan, an increase in pertussis was first observed in the second half of 2008, continued throughout 2009, and has continued to date throughout 2010. This is on top of a long term rising trend in the reported number of pertussis cases since about 1990. As of October 31, there were 1,092 cases reported for this year. In 2009 (for the complete year) there were 902 cases reported. In 2008 there were 315 cases reported. Visit the Michigan Department of Community Health website for the most recent information.

•In Ohio, Columbus Public Health (CPH) and Franklin County Board of Health (FCBH) are responding to an outbreak of pertussis during 2010. As of November 27, there were 854 cases reported by Columbus and Franklin Counties for this year. With the most cases reported in 25 years, the pertussis outbreak in these two counties continues to grow. For the most recent information, visit the CPH website.

http://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/outbreaks.h...



Some information on whooping cough from the CDC:



Transmission

Pertussis is a very contagious disease only found in humans and is spread from person to person. People with pertussis usually spread the disease by coughing or sneezing while in close contact with others, who then breathe in the pertussis bacteria. Many infants who get pertussis are infected by older siblings, parents or caregivers who might not even know they have the disease (Bisgard, 2004 & Wendelboe, 2007). Symptoms of pertussis usually develop within 7 – 10 days after being exposed, but sometimes not for as long as 6 weeks.



Pertussis vaccines are very effective in protecting you from disease but no vaccine is 100% effective. If pertussis is circulating in the community, there is a chance that a fully vaccinated person, of any age, can catch this very contagious disease. If you have been vaccinated, the infection is usually less severe.

http://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/about/cause...

"Vaccines

The best way to prevent pertussis (whooping cough) among infants, children, teens, and adults is to get vaccinated. Also, keep infants and other people at high risk for pertussis complications away from infected people."

http://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/about/preve...



This is just some info for anyone who wants to read it that shows support of making sure that those who will have close contact with your infant (especially in the OP's case with a rise in whooping cough in her area) have the booster or refrain from visiting until the baby can have it's vaccination. It's also just good information to have under your belt for your own knowledge IMO whether you choose to vaccinate or not, do so with some knowledge. (Not saying anyone here is not knowledgeable, just throwing the info out there for anyone interested.



*edit to add: I guess the one I tried to copy and paste didn't, but the link is there and it's a good one to read.

Tania - posted on 12/14/2010

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Its all well and good to ask to get people to get the vaccinations but does that mean you are going to ask every single person that could ever possibly come in contact with you child to be vaccinated it is impossible to control. Kids are kids and they are going to get sick no matter what you do its just that simple. I know you want to protect your daughter but what are you going to do when she starts school request that any child that doesnt have their vaccinations stay away its something in life that cant always be controlled and asking immediate family i understand because i did (only because we are in the same house) but asking friends is taking it a bit far.

Teresa - posted on 12/14/2010

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You have every right to feel the way you do!! I wouldn't want no one around me not vaccinated when i am about to give birth. If they can't understand that then oh well!! it is time to get new friends!!

Kelly - posted on 12/14/2010

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I didn't ask people about their vaccinations, but I did ask people to wash their hands before touching my *infant* and to not visit if they were sick. Now that he is a year old, I don't worry so much any more, but as an infant, I did.
I frankly don't care if I offended any one, but I don't think I did. It's not out of line to ask people to take precautions around your baby.
It's ok to ask someone to not drop your baby, or to hold its head gently - it should also be ok to ask people not to make your child sick if they can avoid it.

Crystal - posted on 12/14/2010

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No offense, but to the last post- reccomending that people not come over because of documented death in the community before my baby is vaccinated is not a demand anymore that asking you to leave your dog at home if your dog has been know to bite. It's my house, and I've been very polite with everyone of my friends and family. It's not about a cold or a cough but about an outbreak that is worse that the community expected. I have just as much right to say who can enter my house as you do. For ANY reason.
Most of my fam has been receptive but a few of the older ones and one of my friends have politely decided to wait until we are vaccinated. I do not feel bad for my decision and I don't feel as strongly about other things- colds, coughs, pets....

Isobel - posted on 12/14/2010

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holding a visit with the baby hostage is a demand :)

but like I said, I totally believe in vaccinations. All of us are up to date...but saying people can't come visit without a booster even if they are well is ridiculous. That's all I'm saying.

Mary Renee - posted on 12/14/2010

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I just got to throw this out there...

Are you going to let your mom hold her granddaughter? Are you going to let your dad hold her? And your mother-in-law and father-in-law? And her aunts and uncles?

Honestly, those are the only people you should be worrying about, unless you're going to invite the entire neighborhood over to have a big "Hold-The-Baby" Party. Your relatives probably shouldn't be so offended by any inquiries about vaccinations because - well, they're relatives, they've changed your diaper, seen you nude, know about your ugly ex-boyfriend, etc. There are certain things you can ask your family that are not necessarily appropriate to ask your friends.

So as for other people... it's just really nobody's business to inquire about their health habits. I understand wanting to be a good mother and protect your baby from illnesses, but instead of asking ALL your friends about their vaccination habits, just keep the baby-holding within the family until she's 2-months old and can have the vaccine herself.

And chances are when the baby is actually here and you're trying to balance diaper changing and feedings and spit-up and the infamous "crying-for-no-reason" jags on no sleep... you're just going to be grateful for someone to hold the baby while you take a shower. I think one of the most important things a mother can do for her children is learn to relax.

[deleted account]

Personally I think you should ask. Your bringing a baby into the world who cannot be safe guarded from certain sickness's till a certain age. If your friends or family have a problem with it than calmly say thank you but they cannot come in contact with your child till your child is protected as well. I did that for my son and frankly I was alot less polite than I could have been!

Jackie - posted on 12/14/2010

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And I don't think that she's so worried about common everyday germs. She's referring to diseases that were on the way to being eradicated and now they're making a comeback in her very own community. Not in some 3rd world country. If that was the case it may seem extreme but it isn't! These diseases are killing babies. I don't see the problem with it

Jackie - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think you're asking too much and it's a little invasive to demand friends and family to have something injected in to their body or else they have to let you know. ~ Mary

Why is it invasive? If you chose to NOT be vaccinated then why would it be a big deal to hide it. If you felt good about your decision that you would have no problems with telling a brand new mother that you're not vacc'ed and there is a current outbreak in your community. I personally think it's need to know info.

Rachel - posted on 12/14/2010

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if the unvacinated person has not been in contact with someone who has the desease, then they will not be able to pass said illness on to you or your child.

at the same time a person who has been vacinated can still carry the germs of the illness and not have any symptoms.... so to my thinking.... the premis is a bit flawed....

really you can only do so much. you are trying to protect your baby but....unless you put them in a bubble they can still catch stuff even from vacinated people

Katie - posted on 12/14/2010

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Wow this has been an interessting read with all the points of view. If it were me i would ask people who weren't vaccinated to wait until the baby was older to visit without asking them to vaccinate themselves. I wouldn't say i am a clean freak, i don't sanitise my childrens toys or make my home a germ free area. My children get ill with coughs and colds especially in the winter time but every cold boosts their immune systems and they will be healthier adults. We have a dog at home who both children play with and it is scientifically proven that if you are raised around pets you will have fewer allergies!

Isobel - posted on 12/13/2010

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yes it's absolutely your right...and it's their right to tell you to get bent. You'll lose a few friends but hey...what's the big deal with that?

I would say, by the way that asking sick people not to come over would be the same as putting your kid in a car seat...asking that people get vaccinated before coming over is not putting the kid in any car.

Ashlea - posted on 12/13/2010

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Nobody is demanding that they get the vaccine. We simply asked them to get them. If they refused or were not willing to do so. We as the parents have the right to tell them they are not welcome around our children. There is nothing wrong with making sure the people around your children are vaccinated. Now, if you are not vaccinating your own child but asking others that would be extreme of you to do. However, they are our children and we have that right to keep them from catching things because others are against vaccinating.

Mary Renee - posted on 12/13/2010

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I think you're asking too much and it's a little invasive to demand friends and family to have something injected in to their body or else they have to let you know. You should get your own child vaccinated so you don't have to worry about whether other people are or not. Pertussis is among the very first vaccines they get at around 2 months. So don't leave the house until she gets the vaccine if you're so worried about it.

Erin - posted on 12/13/2010

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Honestly, your in the right. You are more than welcome to ask them to get the vaccines. Now if they refuse, you can not force them. But you can tell them they are not allowed to be around your child until they choose to get the vaccine, or until your child receives theirs.

Sadly enough I have this issue with some of my elderly family members and them washing their hands, it is like pulling teeth to get them to do it, and its so simple. I ended up telling them they couldn't hold my 5 week old daughter. After about 5 minutes they get up and grudgingly wash their hands.

My point being, if they REALLY want to be a part of the babies life, then they will do it. If not, they can just wait until your baby is vaccinated or the flare of up the infectious disease is lessened/gone.

Good luck with your endeavor your babies health is #1, they already got through all these childhood diseases, yours hasn't. Good for you and taking precautions. :)

Lady Heather - posted on 12/13/2010

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I think people who don't vaccinate should be totally honest about it with those around them. It is simply unfair to expose vulnerable people to potentially harmful illnesses. I don't think you are asking too much of your friends at all. If they choose not to be your friend over it - meh.

It may seem severe, but there are outbreaks of pertussis all over the place around here. People are just not vaccinating anymore. And yes - adults do need a booster. I don't want my kid ending up with this at 2 months old because he/she wasn't able to be protected yet. That's crap.

Nicole - posted on 12/13/2010

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i know i posted before i read most of the posts but if you don't expose your child to elements sooner or later you will have a child with a weak immune system that is sick every time you look around even with just a common cold. get the shots go out in public is my advice. my first 6 months in working in day care was miserable i can not remember a time when i was NOT sick. then it turned out. i only got sick every time we had a new student enter the class. day care preschool what ever it is if you don't stay exposed to some degree you immune system will be weak and you will always be sick. its always a good idea to keep hand sanitizer and i love the Germ x wipes you can get now. but you can't create a bubble for them to live in but you can like i said in last post give them a fighting chance.

Nicole - posted on 12/13/2010

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Ohio is bad for pertussis My cousin had the vac for it as an infant and got it anyways this was like 29 years ago( vacs have come along way since then) he was like 18 months and could have died had my aunt not night stay up all night with him in a rocking chair till they were able to get him hospital care. it is a serious matter they had tubes going in and out of him and had to tie his little arms down so he wouldn't be able to pull on the tubes. not a sight you want to see on a small child. so i very much recommend getting vaccinated. some will argue because some like the measle vac do contain small amounts of human tissues from aborted fetuses but you have to remember its not like you know if that tissue came from a mother who couldn't carry cause it would be life threatening or something. people just don't take fetuses for medical testing that is inhumane. Many believe it or not have big issues wiht that kind of information. but really i think its no different then donating a kidney to some one that could really use it and save their life or if i died take my eyes to help a blind man see. but hardly any one looks at it as such.
they do not vaccinate for small pox anymore because in america has been totally wiped out. now if you go over seas you may just want to ask for it because it does not hold true for every other country. chicken pox i never got . i was even around my sister when she had it my mom made us sleep in the same bed at one point. in 6th grade i got the vaccination even with that if my daughter were to get it and i got it from her it would hospitalize me and im 22. if i get it in my 30s + it could potentially kill me. so you best believe i am getting her vaccinated. and possibly get a booster myself.

asking other people to do so can be crossing the line. it may be against their beliefs for one reason or another. my SO got all his childhood vacs and believes iin getting them for our daughter and getting boosters when needed. but refuses the flu vac. even though the doctor told us we should all get it this year for our daughters sake. he still refuses and i will not push the issue. to me the flu shot isn't something that i would deem seriously important to have many get the flu every year and some reason you can never stop it. but i will get my daughter hers because she is a baby. i think once she is a teen i would leave that choice to her.

personally if you don't vacinate your children i think you are royally taking risks and i would question your ability to make sound decision and i would not have my children around any one that doesn't. in ohio you can not attend school wiht out the shots they will keep you from entering . some places like private schools will take a waiver you sign but then your child is pointed out as the poisoned one. i understand i can not protect my daughter from everything but i will give her a fighting chance. and that means getting her the shots she needs.

Erica - posted on 12/13/2010

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Here is my problem with this....Are you going to ask every person at the grocery store, daycare center, church, etc if they have been vaccinatted? I think it is a lilttle over the top and you are going to run into families ALL THE TIME that have not and there is nothing you can do about it!!!! Even in public schools they can be mandatory but you can have a Doctor write a note and sign papers for relgious reasons and so if you plan on the child going to public school then you might as well just get over it sooner rather than later

Savona - posted on 12/13/2010

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>.> not to be all finicky, but being TOO clean can also cause health problems later on in life. What happened on that episode of "House" wasnt just made up, had valid points to it.

Tiffany - posted on 12/13/2010

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I completely agree with your decision! If they are your real friends, they will not be offended. I would just simply reiterate to the friends who have issues with it, that your top concern is your child's safety and health. That it's completely up to them if they want the vaccine but that if they don't they are just unfortunately not going to be allowed around the baby. I know it's a hard thing, but I don't blame you one bit.

Ramona - posted on 12/13/2010

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About what Nicole said, I don't like people who have recently smoked hold my baby! I am not overprotective AT ALL, I don't make all people wash hands every time they hold her (when you do that, it makes sure your baby develops no immune system ever, unless of course they have just been to the bathroom, have been handling chemicals, are sick or have recently been sick, etc.) but when it comes to second or third hand smoke, get it away from my baby. Her dad smokes and I don't even let him hold her without washing his hands and I would like to make him brush his teeth and change his outfit too! For YEARS they have been doing studies on third hand smoke and most people are so stubborn about refusing to believe the writing on the wall about it. The fact is, there are toxins in smoke. Toxins don't magically disappear when the smoke does, they stick to whatever surfaces they touch. If you have been smoking and you smell like you do nothing but smoke cigarettes all day, you're not holding my kid. Period. If you get offended, fine. Sulk over it. Hate me because of it. My kid will still be healthy! I quit smoking to become a mommy and I would do it over and over. I do still smoke half a cigarette socially on rare occasions and afterwards I always wash my hands, brush teeth, and get a new top on or take a layer off. I get my shots. I am up to date on all of them. Always.

Kiwi - posted on 12/13/2010

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Well you asked them you did not demand. A plus in my eyes :) if anyone wants to be around your child they must accept the rules and regulations that you make for your child! So simply if somone is not where they need to be and something happens to your child because of it... it becomes irresponsible parenting. make your rules and stick by them :) Love your child and protect her from all threats! :)

Jodi - posted on 12/13/2010

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This isn't about keeping a baby hidden away to never be exposed to a single other living human, or to avoid ANY possible risk of ANY possible danger..this is no more extreme (IMO) than when a parent uses outlet covers, baby gates, cabinet locks, carseats or door guards. It's okay to prevent your baby from falling down the stairs but not from contracting a deadly disease like polio? If one is the extreme (asking others to stay away until they or the baby is vaccinated) then so are any of the others (putting up a babygate for toddlers, using outlet covers for crawlers or carseats for any child.) The same extreme philosophy could be applied here. If you're so worried you might get in a car accident and your baby will need that car seat it would be best to just not drive with baby at all...right? If you're so concerned baby just might get into something underneath the kitchen sink, perhaps you should just not have a cupboard there, or not put a single item in it. Extremes can be taken from any angle, this is about avoiding exposure to deadly diseases by those who will have the most contact with baby, not extreme at all IMO.



Keira, We also had a scarlet fever scare about a year ago, my neighbors children all came down with it after they had come over to play for the afternoon, thankfully nobody in our household contracted it! I've actually heard of several people since then contracting it!

Wendy - posted on 12/13/2010

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I think you handled it fine. I'm like you I wouldn't want my child to get sick or worse die because of someone not giving their child a shot.

Angela - posted on 12/13/2010

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I personally think it's a little much to ask people to be vaccinated. It's a personal decision. Just like some people don't want their kids vaccinated, some adults aren't going to want to be vaccinated either. Unfortunately you can't protect your kids from everything unless you stick them in a bubble. All I've ever asked from our friends and family is that if they're sick or have been around someone who is sick that they stay away. When my oldest was a baby (and now that we have a newborn in the house again) I ask that everyone washes their hands before they hold the baby.

Isobel - posted on 12/13/2010

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I'm sorry, but the way I look at it, if you are going to keep your baby away from EVERYBODY who has not expressly told you they've had their shots because they could die, you should probably keep them in a basement under some heavy furniture for a while in case of earthquake or avalanche...The car is a definite NO-NO...babies die in them ALL THE TIME! You must immediately remove all plastic from the house (cause BPA causes cancer) and you should also get rid of ALL toys made in China...because they've probably got lead in them (you can't trust them to voluntarily recall everything, they only do that when they get caught).

Honestly, I know having a new baby is intimidating, but don't let it make you crazy. She is a person, and she will (most likely) be just fine. At some point you have to decide for yourself which parent you wanna be. And if that's the bubble parent...then good luck with that, but if it's not, sometimes you gotta take some scary leaps, and good luck with that too if it's your choice.

Jodi - posted on 12/13/2010

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I will just respectfully disagree with you Ashlea. I am not telling you to do things my way, I am telling you that based on my experience, and my research, I disagree with you. I'm not asking you to agree. I'm just wishing you good luck with that :)

Kiera - posted on 12/13/2010

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ur baby ur rules. you are the decission maker until ur baby is old enough to makes its own decission.
u will ahve enough things to worry about for a new born without having to worry about extras that really should not excist. My six yr old has scarlet fever i thought it was something that did not happen any more did not happen any more we are going backwards not forwards. and as for ur little one only the mother and fatherin the first few weeks/months are meant to hold her for bonding and so they know ur smells. i know this is hard, on that point why do feel they can just touch and pick up ur baby i have had complete strangers touching my babies and its gross i will not and will not let my kids anywhere a new born unless mum has given the all clear. stick to your method after all its u that will deal with the consequences
good luck and enjoy ur beautiful baby

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