"babies having babies"

Sabrina - posted on 02/01/2011

I was 25 when my son was born, but I live in a country where women don't even begin thinking about having children until they are in their 30, Some aren't even getting pregnant until after 40, so I DO understand where you are coming from. Not to mention the fact that I am often told that I look 5 or even 10 years younger than I am. One lady once thought I was 16 and that my 3 month old (at the time) son belonged to my 47 year old mother. I get those stupid condescending looks all the time when I am out with my son. Luckily, people here seem to be nice enough not to actually say anything though. I personally think you handled it perfectly well. I see no need to hold something inside when you are criticized in such a manner... 20 isn't young when you consider that 200 years ago 13 year old girls were getting married to 50 year old men and having their babies soon their after. Your children are also likely to be healthier than children born to women 35 and older. the chance of a child being born with Downs syndrome to a mother of 20 is 1 in 1250. For children of mothers that are over 35, then number is 1 in 50. Maybe you should spout those facts to then the next time they say anything to you! :)

Tangie - posted on 02/01/2011

I seem to also hear that or you are not 28 years old due to the fact i don't nearly look my age. But i could careless what they think my oldest is 9, my middle child is 2 and my baby is 4 months. People are always going to talk about someone good or bad

Mary - posted on 02/01/2011

Hiya, I had my first little boy when i was nearly 19yrs old and my second when i was 22yrs old, i never got told i was a baby having a baby, but i did get told by my Auntie that she was discusted with me because of how young i was. . . Ive never spoken to her since, however my mum was really cross and as my mum said to her, my mum was the same age as me when she had my older sister, that shut my Auntie up. . . But im glad i had my kids the age i did, because it means that when im 40yrs old, my oldest will be 21 and my youngest will be 18, they can both get on and enjoy their lives, and i still have time to enjoy mine, which sounds a bit self-fish i think, but im still at home looking after my boys, Ive never had a childminder, my oldest is 8 this yr and the youngest will be 5 this year, im not on benifits my husband has a very good job so ive never had to work since having the boys, however when my youngest goes to school, i will however have nothing today this time, so i will be getting me a job! lol xx just ignor people Cori, we all have our own opinions some just dont know when to keep their mouths closed huni xx

Roxanne - posted on 01/31/2011

My mom was 16 when i was born, my dad 15. They didnt have a chance to live their lives and made me feel guilty about it. I think thats where the saying comes from, My dad was 15! he didnt have the chance to go out and have fun and grow up like normal teenagers. And today he is like a 42 year old child! he lost his teenage years because i am here and is now making up for it. I think age shouldnt matter nut your maturity level. If you are ready to give that all up and be a model mom, ignor them but if not ...

Jenna-May - posted on 01/31/2011

lol Havent had the said word for word but similar i was 20 when i had my first and 24 when i had my 3rd, i am married etc so wat does it matter younger is better if you ask me least we can still run around the yard when they are a lil older!

Emma - posted on 01/31/2011

age doesnt not alter your ability to love your child! i know plenty of mature age parents who are shitty parents and some of the best parents i know had their children very young i am 21 i knew i wanted children young although my baby girl was a suprise she came a yr earlier than we were planning but everything happns for a reason n i know several for why she came early now is hindsite but i knew i wanted them early so i am young enough to enjoy them growing up n keep up them n play with them doing stupid things that i have seen 'older' parents to embarrased or simply to old to do i love being young n hip n im sure my daughter will to when all her friends parents are grey haired an knitting i will still be young enough to know whats going on n i love your granparent having babies i will definatly use it if anyone says ne thing in the future it definatley depends on the person some people are very mature for their age and others are very young i couldnt imagine some of my friends having babies as they still want to party etc but then i know my sister inlaw who is 36 had a baby the same time as me n she doesnt look or act ne older than 25 shes a very young 36 hope that helps xx

Tanya - posted on 01/31/2011

I was 17 when my first was born, she is now 14. I still get it when people hear i have 3 children, but all i say is i am happy that i will be young enough to enjoy the small things!

Selena - posted on 01/31/2011

i have dealt with similar negativisms...i was 23 when i had my daughter...i also get additional comments because my partner and i have a large age difference...lol. i dont worry too much about it...my daugther is loved and very well taken care of.

Bridget - posted on 01/31/2011

i hate it when people say that. i was 19 when i had my first child and some people made comments about me being young which i hated but not that comment. i would have been upset that is not that young to be having your first child people can be really rude sometimes...

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2011

Unfortunately you get it every where, I am 26 and have 4 children, motherhood is hard and at times is made harder by people with these views. When I was having a check up at the hospital with my youngest son the nurse was so rude, she wouldn't even talk to me instead she rang my doctor to find out how my pregnancy was going. I was so excited about having my son and was enjoying all that pregnacey had to offer, but that appointment made me so upset I left the appointment in tears telling the nurse that just because I was young did not mean that I was a bad mother I love my children and I would do anything for them. My mother made a complaint to the hospital on my behalf and when I delivered my son I was given a master single sweet and no extra charge, Even people you think should understand and be supportive can still surprise you with a negative response As long as you know that your doing everything you can for your children you need to try and not listen to the negative

Kimberley - posted on 01/31/2011

im 20 and have 3 kids one is going on 20 months and a 6week old dont let them get to u :)

Erin - posted on 01/31/2011

I think that is ridiculous! You are an adult, and shouldn't be made to feel bad about your life. I don't think that is a "babies having babies" age. Just because some people don't "grow up" until much later in life, doesn't mean you aren't perfectly capable of being "adult" and a parent now! I had my first at 23 and never got any crap about it. My guess is that because these guys are waiting to have kids they have made that their "norm". Also, women SHOULD be young when they have their kids, for medical reasons, whereas guys have many more years that they can spread their seed without it affecting the baby's health negatively. I am sorry you are dealing with that. Besides, I think as long as someone is a good mother, it shouldn't matter how old they were when they had their baby. My mom was pregnant at 17, but had to practically raise her 7 younger brothers and sisters herself, so she was PERFECTLY capable and mature enough at that age to be a wonderful mother.

Maggie - posted on 01/31/2011

i was 20 when i had my older son, so yes of course i went through that. now im 27 and i have 2 beautiful boys, my oldest is 7 and the baby is 15 months. it used to bother me when people would say that but i just looked at it like hey its their opinion and that while they are all going to be old when their children are growing up id be the young mom who could still keep up with my kids, lol. people are always going to have something to say. i remember having to deal with the looks from some people while walking through a store or something. all i know is that i wouldnt change any of it for anything in the world, i love my boys more than anything and peoples stupid remarks arent going to make me regret anything i did.

Brittney - posted on 01/31/2011

No one ever said it directly to me but I could tell they thought that. I was 19 when I had my first and just had my second at 23. Don't let it bother you, just show then you are a good mother!!

Cheri - posted on 01/30/2011

I have to laugh because of the comment where one person said "You took that baby out in the cold?" I have had people say that to me or my very favorite "I can't believe you took your baby to the store!" , and you know what my 60's-something kids' doctor said?
He goes: "Did you take your baby out of the hospital? Well, then you already took him out, so what do you care what other people think?"

Kids don't get sick from going out, going in the cold, etc. They get sick from germs and the inability to build immunity because parents these days no longer expose them to elements of nature. So, I just laugh it off when someone tells me how sick my child will be from putting dirt in their mouths or from making a snowman.

Desi - posted on 01/30/2011

yes but in a way they are just saying your young and to pretty to have kids at that age! people always told me i should be young as long a i can before having kids!

Savona - posted on 01/30/2011

Ive heard the saying, I dont personally take offense to it though. I am really young, some people are still partiers at 21 and Im moderately alright with staying home, the occasional night the hubby and I will go out, but thats about it. Babys having babys is just one of those sayings now I guess >.>
Try and take it in the way that youre beautiful and young? I anno. =) Take care

Celia - posted on 01/29/2011

I haven't had to deal with this, as I am finally pregnant with my first at 24, but I certainly don't think that 22 is too young as long as you are ready and there is a family in tact for support. Our bodies were actually meant to have babies at YOUNGER ages. Our bodies were designed that way and can better handle a pregnancy at a younger age. That is why older people have more complications and have much higher risk pregnancies. My best friend had her first baby at just 20. But she was already married and although they didn't think that they were ready, they got ready and have a beautiful son who is very smart and active. They have done a wonderful job raising him and decided to have a second child by the time she was 22. And they are very glad that they had them that young too because now they know that they will have more energy to go places and do things when they get older and can spend more time with them as they graduate and do things with their lives. They are happy with having two kids at a young age and I am glad that I am finally pregnant before I got too much older!!! I have been trying to two years as well! So I wouldn't listen to what they have to say at all. Trust your instincts and as long as you are ready, the timing is perfect!!!!

Rachel - posted on 01/29/2011

Well, I was 17 when my husband and I got married. We will be celebrating 5 years this March. We also started trying to have a baby right away. It sounds hillbilly, but it's not. We had been together for 2 years already. So anyways, I had my first daughter at 19 and my 2nd daughter at 21. I am 22 right now. I think we are done, but I have also had strange looks from people. I actually have better luck with older people. Like grandparent types, because that was the normal thing back then. Get married right out of high school, have a family, grow up and enjoy life together. I wouldn't feel fulfilled without my kids, so I was meant to be a "young" mom. Best wishes on snotty people!

Meghan - posted on 01/29/2011

I'm 24 and pregnant with my 3rd baby. I was 20 when I had my first, 22 when my second was born. I think babies having babies is when your in high school at the age of 15/16. 25 is when I wanted to be done having my babies. My best friends mom started having babies late and she was 53 when her youngest grad. high school (which is my best friend) It's crazy for someone to say that your a baby having a baby.

Crystal - posted on 01/29/2011

Hmmm This Is A Tochy Topic, Well I Was 21 Whenever I First Found Out That I Was Pregnant and 21 When I Had Him(All In One Year) That Was A Very Scary Feeling To Me Because I Swore That It Would Never Happen To Me, Whenever I Was Little I Was Told That I Would Never Be Able To Have Children and I Had Always Dreamed Of Becoming A Mother, My Son (Now A Year Old) Is Truly My Life~I Got Married When I Was 4 1/2 Months Pregnant and Alot Of People Assumed That It Was All Because I Was Pregnant, Yes I Was Looked Down On and Yes It Hurt Me But My Son Is My Life~There Are Alot Of Girls Out There Getting Pregnant At 15 and 16~Those Are Babies Having Babies...Yes I Was Young But At Least I Made It Right...I Would Love To Have Another One Someday But I Want To Enjoy My Son Being Little First....To All Those Out There Who Are Getting Looked Down On, Keep Your Head Up and Next Time Someone Says That To You Just Be Like Hey....Ive Got A Blessing Straight From The Hands Of Jesus and Thats All That Matters.....

Crissi Lynn - posted on 01/29/2011

i havent but i think it was really classy and mature of you not to engage in a argument with an elder... they may have their opinions but thats all they are. i think the best thing you could have done is exactly what you said- maybe it will make him think twice about butting his nose in where it doesnt belong again lol i should also add that im almost 30 and have three kids. one is almost 12, one is 10 and one is 1. I adored them then as much as i do now and my life is better because theyre here. If anything else is said just look at him and say that you doubt youll love this baby any less because youre not 35 and to keep his comments to himself because youre pregnant and dont need the added, ridiculous worry because of this opinion. lol and that youll ask him if you want it in the future good luck and im sure your baby will be a wonderful addition and blessing to your family ♥

Cheri - posted on 01/29/2011

No one has ever said anything about my having children in my mid-20's. I am actually one of the very few that waited till after even age 18, so maybe that's why? I do know that some people THINK I am younger than I am and I get comments about that. Most of them say "You look like a teenager, how can you have so many kids?" which is irritating, but at this point in my life, I have stopped worrying about it. It's not something that really matters, looking back on things. I think that TEENS having baby is a real issue, but seriously, if you are over 18, you're an adult and can do what you want.

Candi-When a person of my own age looks at me and gives me a nasty look, I simply ask "can I help you?" and they shut up or sometimes, they are just wanting to ask something and don't know how. Most want to ask if my children are all twins. (Only two of 4 are actually twins)

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2011

I have to deal with that some days. It drives me nuts!

Magen - posted on 01/28/2011

I LOVE your response! And yes, we have, but we were! We were 17 with our first, 20 with our second and just had out third and last at 22. We have been together for 9yrs! But we are still looked at like we wont make it, well almost a decade together, I think they need to drop it already! We own our home, cars, no welfare. We are doing on our own and are great at this!

Martha - posted on 01/28/2011

I love the pic of your lil one my 2yr oldhas the same sweatshirt I love how it glows in the dark. I was 22 when I had my first and I plan to have my second before she is 5. Everyone has there own opinion. My grandmother had her first at like 16 I think. she raised 5 kids and put herself thru med school. On top of that she has been a painter a plumber and she drives rigs. She is also a part of the EMT and drives ambulance. Dont get too upset at ppl. They grew up in a different era. Now we have the elderly fighting the change of life so they can get pregnant. And you see on the news about kids I mean real kids like 10-12 yr olds having kids. Everyone is different. Back in the day you were expected to have a family and a farm at 13. And in those days you had as many kids as you could bc of the hight mortality rate. Plus no one should say anything if your hubby is in the military. Your set and military life is different. Thats when you really want to settle down. I came home frm the Navy 2 and a half years before i had my daughter. Good luck to you and your lil ones!

Kristina - posted on 01/28/2011

Well personally I WAS a "baby" having a baby but I never had anyone call me that..not to my face anyways.

Claire - posted on 01/28/2011

19 had a baby, one of the docs caring for me said I was too young, same age as his daughter ( I went to school with her) and I told him that I chose to start my family young, instead of have one foot in the grave when my kids have kids. I would rather enjoy my grandbabies. :)

Sarah - posted on 01/28/2011

Funny retort! You are doing what is right for you and your hubby. Maybe they are jealous that you will still be young and have enough energy to keep up with your kids from the time you are going to PTA meetings to the time you are partying down with your kids at a nightclub after they turn 21. =) Don't worry what others say, because someone will enevitably have something mean to add to any conversation...even if they aren't included in said conversation.

Mercheeko - posted on 01/28/2011

yes ive had that said to me plenty of times...i had my first child in april 2007... i was a month off my 18th birthday, i had my second in august 2008 and my last was april 2010... i was peeved at first when people used to say it to me, but im used to it now... it just goes to show how judgemental people can be... without really knowing the story behind it..

Dvora - posted on 01/28/2011

I am 27 with 3 kids ages 7, 4 and 6 months. I was young when I had my first but you know what my husband and I were half way through college, finished and worked our butts off to raise her happily. People stared at me all the time and still do but I know I'm a good mom so I could care less. Just be better than them and ignore!! Not worth your time. Its not like you were 16!! Hope this helped. =)

Mary - posted on 01/28/2011

I got that while I was prego and alot of dirty looks when I was without my husband. Sadly some of the dirty looks came from prego teenages with their mommys sitting in the lobby of ob/gyn office. I had one mom point and go she's too young and thats inappropiate when she thought I wasn't looking. Also got "oh, look another single mother" coming from a mother with her teen prego and baby daddy, wtf, I'm married.

Sylvie - posted on 01/27/2011

It happen to mean and I answered back ; how old was your parents when they had you or your siblings???

Trish - posted on 01/27/2011

i told my self i wanted all my kids by 25..my mom had 4 girls being 20 with my oldest sister and 30 with me..but as different generations go on girls are having babies earlier so people need to see this it's not the same...16 an prego is babies i agree...that show is stupid and is a bad idea to put in young girls heads...and it doesnt matter your age i know friends whose parents still smoke pot and are alcoholics and crap like that and they are in their 50's+ its all in a mind set if you want to do good for your child then you will...if you choose to stay young and stupid then give your child to someone who can raise it.

Trish - posted on 01/27/2011

the only people who said crap to me was my old coworkers who didn't want or have kids....other than that its always whose the dad...why do people always want to know whose your baby's dad??? you don't know him don't ask me, rude...I was 20 (in april) when i was prego turned 21 that june...yup I missed my legal drinking birthday pitty..even though i was 20 i knew once i had him I would grow up real fast as i have an am 22 now and the end of this year has been amazing have a house have an online store wonderful bf my little boy!! couldnt ask for anything else....and you know what those ppl that talked down on me for being young and prego they dont have half the great life i do...so i say screw them...they are just jealous that they'll be 60 when they're kid graduates and everyone will be asking if thats their grandmom...i on the other had will get....is that your sister?? lol

Francisca - posted on 01/27/2011

Babies having babies aren't just by age but by mind. I am 27 with 3 kids and from day one I never depended on family or lived with my parents while I kept having kids on welfare. I am the v.p of my company and take care of my home alone. I'd dare anyone to call me a baby. I've never asked or depended on anyone to take over my job as a mom. The teen mom shows are babies having babies. Its embarrasing to see how dating is #1 before education and a career to raise their kids. I've made my family proud of what I've become after having my first at 18. If you act like a baby, people will see you as such.

Lindsay - posted on 01/27/2011

I've been told I was old @ 25 having my first... In a military town, everyone is getting married out of HS and having kids right away. Most were on their 3rd by my age!

Elisha - posted on 01/27/2011

Besides that, as long as u take care of ur kids, it don't matter how old u r!!!

Elisha - posted on 01/27/2011

Ok I can totally relate here!!! I was just about the same as u, I was a month away from being 22 with my first, and 3 months away from 25 when my second was born. I agree that 30 is a lil late to start having kids I got the same comments from people and I usually just ignore them. Funny thing is when I was prego with my first, my mom was prego with her third!!!! yes u read correctly, my baby brother is 7 weeks older than my son!!!! My mom was 41 when she had him!! I think when ur kids start having kids it it time to stop!!! (I know, way off the subject) anyways No u r by no means a baby, my best friend had her first baby when she was 14, There is a prime example of Babies having babies!!!! maybe u should point that one out to ur husbands co workers. but seriously don't worry about it too much, they r not u, and dont live ur life so its really none of their business

Tricia - posted on 01/27/2011

I get it all the time, I had my son at 22, and will be having our daughter in may, when im 24. I have people ask me if im even out of high school, or if im married. I find it really disrespectful, and normally tell them so. I say yes I'm married, and out of school, but if I weren't you still have no reason to judge. I want to be done having kids by 30, as well as my husband, so we started when we wanted

Mary Renee - posted on 01/27/2011

I just recently read a article in Time and the average age of marriage has gone up a year every decade from 1960! Ask them how old their parents were when they were born! Probably younger than you!

Ann - posted on 01/27/2011

yes my fiance is in the air force and the other guys in the shop are older than us and the first time i met most of the wives they gave that look like you arent even old enough to be having a baby...all i think is that when im their age my child will be almost out of high school and i get to relax and they wont be able too. i just let them do them and i do me, they can think what they want but as to wheni am gonna have my first child is my choice.

Sarah-Lynne - posted on 01/27/2011

I do nearly every day. Now, I'm slightly different. . . because I was 19 when I had my first son. However, I had been with my son's dad since I was 14. And we were very much in love and already engaged (although we did plan on getting married within the year, children were going to wait) and when people see me and my husband about with our son (and I'm now 19 weeks pregnant with our second son) people asume that we're dead beat teen parents. Which I hear comments quite often. They asume we're automatically on some sort of financial assistance or that we're un-educated. My husband just recently graduated from University, I'm a sophmore at the University of Alabama. We own our own home, our own cars and do it without a cent from the government. It's the stigma that comes with having kids young unfortunately. You just have to learn to brush it aside. It used to bug me so much, but my husband always reminded me that we knew who we were, that we loved our children and always put them first. But I feel your frusteration.

Lisa - posted on 01/27/2011

I was 20 when i got pregnant with my 1st child had him when i was 21 my mom said i was 2 young to have kids but she had my sister when she was 21 and me when she was 23 and my other sister when she was 25 so i dont think u are to young ill probly have my second when im 23 or 24 so no i dont think you are to young

Cyndel - posted on 01/27/2011

I was married a month after turning 19 and was pregnant 4 1/2 months later.

I was told that I was too young to marry and we would be divorced by the time 5 years came about (we will be married for 5 years in less then 7 months and are no where close to even thinking about thinking about divorce!) we are very happily married and we both disagree with divorce without severe circumstances, abuse, severe neglect, adultery etc. Anyway when the same person found out we were pregnant they asked why we didn't wait to see if the marriage would even work? and went on to say that I would end up a single mom struggling to raise my son! Ha! my husband is one of the best most attentive fathers I have ever known!

Anyway, a lot of people are predjudiced against parents under the age of 25. After all there is a maturity problem in young people today, especially young men.

However, the only thing I have ever wanted and something I worked for and 'trained' for as long as I can remember is to be a wife and mother. So when God pointed my husband out and said "get married", I didn't hesitate. We were engaged for 2 months and 1 week when we married (we both disagree with long engagements for the most part).

I never really did have trouble with strangers though. People thought I was legally able to drink at 16, I always looked older and/or more mature then my age so other then the family member who was so judgmental I really didn't have any problems.

Christopher's - posted on 01/27/2011

i've had a couple people make a comment about me not being married or being to young. I'm 20 no i'm no old by any means but this kinda hurts my feeling some people are having kids at age 12?? Theres alot of girls that are younger than i am. I don't think its anyone bussiness as long as i can handle buying things for my child, so when they say your to young i look at them and say theres no certain age to have kids and your not going be buying my diapers are you?

Leah - posted on 01/27/2011

Ya know, I've had to deal with the "omg you're so young for *insert whatever it is that I'm doing or have done here" for so long, it's gotten to be a joke with me. I graduated high school when I was 16, was married a month later, had my first full-time job two weeks after that, and my own car within two months of that. Most people would tell me "you got married? You're only 16! It'll never last, you shouldn't have been so stupid with your life" and yet I'm still happily married to the same man 4 years later (and we're expecting our first this April!).

Now, I KNEW without a doubt that I loved my husband with all of my heart, which is why I married him. I also knew that I would be able to help support my new family with my job and everything. Becoming a parent is basically the same thing. If you are ready (you may know you are or it might come a while later) and are able to support the new addition, then there should be no problem whatsoever.

I just find it odd that military families are the ones judging you! My hubby has been AF for two years now and I've received more support than I could ever imagine! I'm guessing they're jealous over some aspect of your life (hey, firefighter wives have it tough, so if they think you have it 'easy' they might turn green) so they lash out about anything and everything that they can--just remember to keep your chin up :D

Tasha - posted on 01/27/2011

Yes! I work at a nursing home and I was the exact same ages as you with my 2. I got it almost everyday. It got annoying but I would just smile and nod. Not worth getting worked up over, just different generations. And also the older they get the more they say, just ignore it. It won't change your ability to be a good mom. Hope this helps!

Jessica - posted on 01/27/2011

hunny there are always going to be the people out there who judge everyone they just want something to talk about.All that matters is your a good mom.Your old enough.You were older than alot of people.Dont let them get to you they obviusly arent satisfied with there own lives so thay feel the need to pic on you about yours i think the grandparent comment is halarious.Id just tell them they need to go back to school cuz they act like children.

Alicia - posted on 01/27/2011

Next time that subject comes up your husband needs to remind them that after the age of 30 a womans egg count drops dramatically and that is the reason you two are having kids in your 20's and not your 30's. I wouldn't let it bother you though, because at least when you are their age, you won't be home all the time with babies and can be free to do stuff with your kids instead of having to worry about having a stroller and diaper bag in tow. I was 22 when I had my first and 25 when I had my second child just like you.