Baby number 7?

Sophie - posted on 01/15/2013 ( 63 moms have responded )

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Hi all, I'm 29 yrs old and a mother of 6. My partner is the father of the youngest. We are planning on getting married and have started to discuss having another baby. We would both love one but are worried about it being number 7. Does anyone have any advice or am I totally mad for even contemplating having a 7th baby?!

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Sophie - posted on 01/17/2013

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Excuse me Nancy but just because I have 6 kids doesn't mean I use de system as you so put it. You shouldn't judge based on stereotyping. And just because I like to use short hand or txt when I'm writtin or using de Internet sure as hell doesn't mean I can't spell. For your information I have a college degree in nursing, I work full time as a community nurse as de hours suit better than shift work. Yes when I was in college I got help from de 'system' in order to give my children a better life. And no I don't use the system now...i work hard to provide for my kids and will continue to do so. Maybe nancy you should not be so quick to judge and stereotype as to what my situation is and as to if id be bringin another child into de world for de state to support. Oh ad do you mean in the era as opposed to error? You don't sound too educated either. Il shut up now.

Shannon - posted on 02/23/2013

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@Jessi-You're a bit hypocritical to say that you understand everyone's views, yet judge mine! I stated that my post was only my personal opinion, not fact, not the right answer for all. The poster asked for opinions regarding having a 7th baby, so I replied with my opinion. If you had properly read my post, I'm not against couples having several children, I'm against having more than 4-5. My views are shaped from my personal experiences as a mom, a long time private nanny, and former preschool teacher. I also wrote my response in regards to this particular post. We're not talking about a solid family, yet a mom with 6 kids by various fathers. That's in stark contrast to your post about China. I, in no way, condoned murdering infants. Just because a couple decides to responsibly plan their family, doesn't mean they condone murdering infants. You are off your rocker!

Jeannette - posted on 01/23/2013

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The world is not in need of more people. "There is nothing wrong with a lot of kids" is the most misguided load a $#&% uttered here. There is, in fact, a tremendous amount wrong with large families in our current environment. You have a large family, be happy with the blessing and strive to be a fantastic parent to each and every one of them. There is more to successful parenting than making babies - that is the easy part. Gonna take a hell of a trust fund as it is to keep them all clothed, fed, and educated through college.

Rachel - posted on 01/20/2013

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I came from a family with seven kids and I often found that meant that I was expected to raise my siblings as one of the older children. There wasn't enough time in the day to show attention to everyone and without a doubt, everyone missed out on a lot of attention that is vital during childhood. Also, being able to afford 7 kids can be looked at from different perspectives. Were we always clothed and did we always eat, yes. However, were there constant arguments over finances, were the clothes hand-me-downs, and were lots of nights pasta or potatoes, yes. It is important to consider how it is going to effect the kids. You need to consider things like how much time you are able to give individual attention to each child, are the children able to engage in activities outside the home that they want, can you provide them with a college education, what is the quality of life (just scraping by or able to provide a comparitive lifestyle), and how much time is spent with the other children parenting their younger siblings? After 7 kids, my parents are now divorced too and there are a lot of residual effects of the upbringing on all of us to some extent or another.

Nicole - posted on 01/17/2013

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And also to Francine again, I think some of the questions you have to her are a bit too personal. And I personally don't think it's none of your business lol. Just had to throw that out there!!

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Samantha - posted on 03/11/2013

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I just wanted to add a cpl more comments on here to ALL The moms who are being really negative and assuming that shes living off the state....myself having 6 children I dont pay for daycare and neither does my state....WHY??????? Because I work 1st shift and my spouse works 2nd shift....and the great thing about it is weve been at our jobs for over 13yrs....we split shifts just for that reason the only bad thing about it is we only see each 1 maybe 2hrs out of each day and then we have wknds 2gether...so to the mothers saying to You "how do u pay for daycare...or whos payin for your daycare" theirs alot of ways that coupkes can make it work without paying for daycare and another thing is...ALL 6 of our kids are in school so Im sure yrs are to plus with us havin only 1 daughter whos 17yrs old and the rest being boys thats when the word HAND ME DOWNS comes in good hands cause girl ive done that alot wth the boys and dont take it to heart about others sayin crap about each child gettin their own attention because all of our kids and my spouse we all do stuff as a FAMILY and that means TOGETHER!!!!!! yes Im sure theirs a cpl of the kids who tend to be a little more needier than the others and thats ok but my kids dont mind a bit cause their the more independant ones...so I think you will be just fine honey...alot of ppl always assume that bcuz u have so many kids that of course your mooching from the state....I havent had to use the state for help at all yet BUT I will say this...I have worked everyday since the age of 15yrs old and Ive paid my taxes and then some...Ive been payibg each paycheck to all sorts of moms on welfare cause that crap comes outta our money so if there ever comes a time that I would need the help you better believe I would have no shame in going and applying for it!!!!! If you need a little help you need it so dont let any1 make u feel like trash for it cause like I said weve paid in it for others our entire time working so if there comes a time in life when u may need that bit of help then so what cuz ill bet you any amount of money that the ones on here complaining about it would do the exact same thing if they were in a situation and needed help to!!! GOOD LUCK HUN :)

Tammy - posted on 03/09/2013

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That's a lot of kids; how do you manage?! You must be supermom! I figure, if you can handle it, go for it! Good luck on your impending marriage! :)

Samantha - posted on 03/09/2013

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Hi.....Im 33yrs old I have exactly 6 kids...I have a 17yr old girl and the rest are all boys...16yrs...12yrs...11yrs..8yrs & 6yrs..old now my 5 oldest are with my ex so when I met the man Im with now 7 1/2yrs ago We knew that we were in love and that someday we woukd want a child together :) now we both work full time jobs we have health Ins. And a great 401k we can borrow from anytime...My daughter has 3 scholarships for basketball she works part time and has graduated early....my oldest son is heading down the same path....they pay for their own stuff BUT we also help as well...we see it like this as long as they are makin an effort to get themselves started we will help them as much as we can...now if u 2 love each other and he accepts yr kids like his own and he is a good step daddy to them and you guys can afford another baby then honey I say GO FOR IT!!!! thats the one cherished blessing that the both of you can make together and hold as one.....I wish you both the best of luck and if your husband is as great as a daddy as my husband is and patient and loving then you guys will go a long way together :)

Veronica - posted on 03/04/2013

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Hi Sophie,

My opinion is: if you can afford them on your OWN...then you can have as many as you'd like. You will always have haters but the point is to afford them on your own salary without any assistance. :)

Sophie - posted on 03/01/2013

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Thanks nancy. So true, kids can also help to put themselves through college with a part time job or something....would do them no harm, may actually make them work harder to obtain good grades as they are helping to pay for it themselves.

Nancy - posted on 03/01/2013

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Sophie it's entirely up to the both of you.You may want to wait for a little bit and maybe discuss it more with your partner.Just to make sure that's what you really want.You're only 29.You've got time.

Nancy - posted on 03/01/2013

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why can't the kids work and earn their education like their mother did?Maintaining grades and getting scholarships helps also.Why is it that parents have to pay for the kids education? A little bit of hard work never hurt anyone.My kids got their grants,student loans.what have you in order to go to school as they knew I couldn't afford to help.They didn't even ask.They both stayed at the top of their classes.My daughter was on the deans list and my son scored in the top 10 percent in the state.

Tyakeia - posted on 02/27/2013

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Wow!!! This makes for some interesting nighttime reading.
Sophie when I first married my husband I want seven kids too. Nine years later, we blessed and lucky to have the one that we have. With that said, would I have seven now? No way. You didn't mention the age so I'm guessing he or she is under three? If you can do it financially then go for it. No matter what anyone here says, we have no control over your actions, only you do. And you're going to do what you want to do regardless of what's posted.

Sophie - posted on 02/26/2013

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I'd like to clarify one thing....'multiple' fathers in my case is 2. My ex that I was with for a long time and my current partner. My children do not al have a different father each.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/25/2013

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The smart decision would be for her to get married before she has a 7th baby and ends up another single mother with way too many kids on her hands. She will have to run around working her butt off to feed her 7 little mouths and probably won't end up being able to spend much time with them at all. She will also have to deal with all the multiple fathers she's decided to have children with. Is that really a good life for her or those kids? Come on. It's like no body has any common sense.

Girl, if you seriously want to do this you better make sure "your partner" is going to stay with you forever.

Shayna - posted on 02/24/2013

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I think you need to think about what your heart wants. If you want a larger family, your incomes can support it, and your partner is by your side, I say go for it. Whatever you chose to do, good luck.

Amy America - posted on 02/24/2013

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@Morgan Fiaschetti -- Sophie posted asking for other women's opinions in regards to her situation. Maybe some of the opinions are a bit crude at times, but people have posted THEIR opinions on what Sophie asked. I'm sure Sophie understands that the choice is COMPLETELY hers alone, but she really wanted to know what other mom's might think about her situation. I'm also sure she understood that some of the opinions might be a little harsh or negative. I can't speak for everyone here that has posted an opinion. However, the reason I mentioned money in my post is because I see too many mothers going through hard times. I volunteer at the women's shelter and at a single mom's non-profit organization and I have personally seen women with multiple kids going through a hard time because their relationships have not worked as planned. Also, I didn't just post about money, I posted about the other children and having enough time for each one because Sophie did mention she works.

Again, these are women's OPINIONS which Sophie asked for. An opinion is just someone else's point of view, it doesn't have to be heard nor followed. I find your comments to be a bit rude and judgmental.

I do wish Sophie all the best and she sounds smart enough to make the best decision for her and her family. All the best to you as well.

Morgan - posted on 02/23/2013

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:)I can't believe the comments on this thread!Who said it was anyone's business how many children another person has!!If you are capable of staying home and afforda large family, i say go for it :) I have 4 wonderful children and i will be having a 5th...why?? because i can and just to mention i am capable without government assistance!! :) i ha ve more then enough love to go around as well as RESP 's to put my kiddie through school :)Shame on most of you for your rude comments and stereotypical ways!! what is this world coming to. Its all come down to money :(

Elizabeth - posted on 02/22/2013

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"De" isn't that much shorter than "the"

Sorry, I'm on Nancy's side about this one. Hold your horses and wait a while. Make sure this guy is going to stick around. You don't want to be having baby number 8 with a new guy. You're 29, you have plenty of time to over populate the earth!

JessI - posted on 02/16/2013

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@shannon,
I dont like arguing opinions because I underatand everyones views however if your concerned about over population (a bit late for that) and against couples having several kids (which is non of your business) then perhaps you should move to china where they have a one child policy. hiwever if you dont pay a huge fine for even accidently getting pregnant with a second,they will murder the baby and leave it lying next to you in your hospital bed...now whats your opinion on that I wonder?

JessI - posted on 02/16/2013

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ok so I debated on posting a comment but screw it! I have two different opinions. as long as your not being selfish in this decision then go for it. seems you started too young and sounds as though you have several kids by several fathers...think about the kids..settle down hot sauce. make sure this is the guy you want to spend your life with and that he is a good active father before you have another with him...I dont think people should be making rude comments but it dors raise a concern to others as I see and understand. I myself have 3 kids with my ex husband and pregnant with my 4th with my boyfriend ..it does effect the kids I must say. good luck to you though!

Sophie - posted on 02/13/2013

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Francine....I did not make the post because as you say I want people to tell me it ok to have another, I put it up opinions and maybe someone on this site has the experience of having 7 children, rare yes but possible. It is also not a decision I am making lightly and of course I have thought of most of the points you made/questions you asked. I do appreciate and respect your opinion but I certainly did NOT just want to hear people tell me it's "ok"

Angela - posted on 02/11/2013

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@ Francine Prevost - I can't speak for Canada or the US (I'm British) but career success doesn't necessarily depend on college education. I have a University honours degree and my current job (which I've had for over 5 years) isn't very much above minimum wage. I have several other qualifications as well - both academic and vocational. I have never been able to find employment commensurate with my qualifications - and I know of several others in this position - including quite a few unemployed people.

I also know of a great many people holding down impressive, well-paid jobs despite having few or no qualifications. To be honest, the job market is something of a lottery.

I personally feel that Sophie has a large enough family already but it's not MY choice, it's HERS. And furthermore, there are lots of mothers who find their life partner only after having had several children from another partner (or partnerS) - I can understand that she might like at least ONE more child to the guy she's hoping to spend the rest of her life with.

Francine - posted on 02/11/2013

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Nicole Melo, please do enlighten me with your wisdom on the job market out there for someone who just has a grade 12 education. Can't really plan anything for a future if you work at a burger joint being paid minimum wage. I'm not sure what it is in the States, but here in Canada (Ontario) they only get paid $10.25/hourly and 30 % of your salary goes to taxes so if you work an average of 40 hours a week at $10.25/hr that gives you $410 gross, net you bring home $287/weekly, please tell me how you're suppose to make a future with this salary? See these are the questions she has not asked herself before thinking of adding another child to the 6 she already has.

Francine - posted on 02/11/2013

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I don't think my questions were too personal, I asked them because I knew no one else would. This woman wants to add another one to her already big family and I'm sure she has not considered any of the questions I asked, all she wants to hear is people telling her it's ok to have another and burden the 6 she already has. Tell me would you be in a position to provide everthing necessary to 7 children including college or university education? In today's economy I'm pretty darn sure a lot of parents are not financially ready to provide this for their children even if it is for 1 child's post secondary education??????? What would happen if you or your partner loose your job or can't work anymore because of medical problems, could you live with just 1 income and still have to pay all the bills that come in every month because a lot of people don't want to sacrifice the way they live when this happens. I've seen it too many times.

Shannon - posted on 02/06/2013

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Personally, I am against couples having more than 4-5 children, even if they are wealthy. That's just my personal opinion, based on several concerns. Overpopulation is a real issue worldwide, as well as pollution and overuse of resources. I'm truly concerned for my girls' futures! My husband and I have made a conscious decision to have only two children, even though we could afford more. We are both 29. Again, this is solely my personal opinion. Another factor that has contributed to our family planning is quality of life. I don't just want to provide necessities for my girls. I want to be able to afford quality education, extracurricular activities, traveling experiences, and be able to do all of that without receiving any aid. I like to be able to plan for my girls' futures by saving money for college funds and being able to have a descent amount of money available in case of illness/emergency. Although I would love to have a house full of kids, I just couldn't do that to my girls! Just like another mom mentioned, I can't imagine that you have enough time to spend with each child individually while also working! Are your older children's father(s) involved in their lives? Do they get the chance to participate in sports/clubs? Are they in daycare while you work?

Alexandria - posted on 02/06/2013

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Well i am shocked by the response that you have received and so many people are so negative. I beleive that children are a blessing and we would not be granted children if we couldnt handle them. I currently have 3 children and just found out that i am expecting twins, so it is going to be 5 children for us :) was pretty shocked and surprised as i was on what is meant to be the #1 ranked birth control in the world lol.
Anyways my point is that if you and your partner want a 7th child and feel that you can do that successfully with finances and such, then go for it!! I live in Canada and daycare is very expensive, but fortunately my husband has a well paying job and i too have a good job - so we feel confident that we can provide for our children. I only work part time right now so that my kids dont have to go to daycare everyday and i can spend some quality time with them.
As far as the comment about schooling - my husband and i started a education fund for each of our children when they were born and pay into each of them each month with the amount we can afford and will also do this for the twins. I think it is so rude that some people on here just assume that you cant provide for your children - i mean seriously do you think she would be posting on here about having baby #7 if she cant afford the 6 she has??? Keep the rude comments to yourself!!
Good luck with your decision im sure you will do great :)

Laura - posted on 02/05/2013

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Honestly, if you want to have baby number seven then go for it. If your heart tells you go for it by all means knock yourself out but if your pockets say no don't do it. Good luck girl and I'm sure whatever you decide to do is based on what you really want in life. Babies are a blessing just know that each and everyone needs all the love and care in the world. Which I'm sure your trying your very best .

Angela - posted on 02/01/2013

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The benefits of having your children whilst young means you're still young(ish) when they're grown and therefore young enough to build a career for yourself when they don't need so much parental input into their lives ..... For some this may be once the kids are in full-time school, for others it may be when they're working as an adult. I always like to hear of couples who, despite the depressing statistics for young parents, are legally married, have stayed together, raised their kids and are now enjoying life without having to be rushed off their feet with the demands of dependent children!

But to continue "breeding" when you're approaching 30 (as well as having several children already) sort of knocks that theory out of the water! Especially if your partner isn't the same person who is the father of MOST of those children.

My friend had 2 kids as a teenager. She and their father are legally married. The kids grew up and were living independently long before their parents hit 40. THEY ONLY HAD TWO KIDS!

It's entirely YOUR business how you decide to plan and structure your family. But I would advise getting legally married first.

It's a lot of responsibility and a lot of expense as you are at the moment, but it's ultimately YOUR choice.

Good luck!

Amy America - posted on 01/29/2013

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I couldn't imagine or scarcely fathom having 7 kids. But, like my grandmother says "to each their own". Please don't take it personal, you are asking our opinions and we are openly giving them. I find that having a 7th child if you don't have a hefty income and are a stay-at-home-mom is irresponsible. Every child needs individual time and I don't know how you can work and spend time with each of your children. Also, I'm a successful law clerk and my hubby owns two businesses, so I'm blessed in having everything I need and may want from time to time. However, even though I'm financially stable and have only one child, I'm still considering having more than 2-3 kids. We're planning on the next one and even that is a hard decision because day care costs are high (at least in Canada) and I can't imagine it being cheap to pay for day care for 7 kids! Anyhow, kudos to you, I couldn't do it myself because of time management and costs. Also, because I find it unfair to the rest of your children. Unless, of course, the father of your other 5 children may be paying a hefty child support amount.

All that said, the choice is yours, but am I ever surprised that you can even consider it. I can't imagine worrying about college/university tuition for 6 or 7 kids! You are a brave woman :) Best of luck.

Jessica - posted on 01/24/2013

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I'm a nurse, married to a police officer, have 4 children & we are now trying for number 5. If you are financially able to support having a large family & it is what you both want, why not?
Congratulations & good luck!

Joni - posted on 01/23/2013

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That's good sophie just make sure each of your children get their own time with you. I envy you a don't know how you can divide time between 6 kids,husband,job and housework.
Let me in on your secret!
I have 3 kids,a husband,I'm a sahm and I do most of my housework after my children are in bed and my husband is at work. I have no idea how you do it!
My children are not in school my eldest is homeschooled and my other 2 are 3 and 1.
Best luck to you and your 6 children!

Sophie - posted on 01/23/2013

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Thanks everyone for ur response!! Shauna you are spot on in saying some people are maybe too scared or poor to have loads of kids. Some of the responses are very judgmental, people automatically presuming that because I have a large family that I live off the state!! Myself and my partner have decided we probably wil have number 7 but not until after we get married at the end of nxt yr. and Joni....al my kids live wit me!!

Shauna - posted on 01/22/2013

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Go Sophie! I'd say wait a little bit to think about it but if that's what you really want then go for it! There is nothing wrong with a lot of kids. It's just that most people are too scared to do it or too poor.

Joni - posted on 01/21/2013

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How have you already had 6 kids and your only 29 years old? 3 sets of twins??? One every year? My sil has 8 total 7 with my bro and she is 34. Here I thought she was a breeder! Wow! Lol!

Mommy - posted on 01/21/2013

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I think it would be better if you waited until you are married to make this decision...

Joni - posted on 01/21/2013

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How do yo have time to make #7 when you have 6 already? Wow I have 3 and were lucky if we have time to scribble 1 time a week why alone think of us having a 4th child?
I would say go for it if you can afford a live in maid to do all the cooking and cleaning so you could spend quality time with your children.
That's a lot of children already we only have 3 and my husband has one of the best paying factory jobs in ohio and sometimes we struggle to make ends meet. We live off our land as well we don't get help from the goverment.
How in the world do you support 8 people and I'm sorry honey I'm not trying too be rude but you have enough kids already enjoy the ones you already have. You do your part as a parent and let you kids enjoy being kids and not mini moms and mini dads. It would be wrong for you to have another child its not fair to the 6 you already have cause I'm sure you probley don't have a lot of time for all of them now. Unless of course they don't live with you and live with their other daddy's.
No your not total mad for thinking about #7 your NUTS!!! LMAO!

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2013

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I think if you can afford another child then who cares what anyone eles thinks there not living your life so do what makes you happy . I would love a 4th child but would like to have more savings behind me first and me and my partner been together 13 years we have 3 boys but i was also worrid about other peoples reactions and its seems like i thought right people will look and judge without knowing the facts and to be honest they wont want to know the facts and will still pick at things so do what makes you happy .

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2013

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I'm 32 and will give birth to my second child (second son!) in about 3 weeks. He is my fiance's 3rd child. We feel like 4 kids are plenty - for us! I think if you can afford to provide for 7 kids and you love them more than you love your own life, go for it - some people were born to be parents!

Nicole - posted on 01/17/2013

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I don't understand why some of you people are making a big deal about her wanting a 7th child?! Like honestly who freakin cares!!! If you can afford to have another baby and still support your other children then go for it!!! I have 2 children 1 is 3 and the other one will be 5 months on the 26th. I would LOVE to have more kids but I just can't put myself through that again!! And to Francine maybe the kids don't want to go to college. Not every child is going to want to go to college I'm sorry to say! You can get a good paying job just by having your grade 12! I don't understand why some of you people are being so judgmental. Lol if you want to have another baby go for it!!!

Alexandra - posted on 01/17/2013

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I dont think your crazy for wanting to have another baby they are a wonderfull gift! just make sure thats what you want and can afford it and if everythings a green light then go for it!!! my aunt has 10 kids so to me the more the better! good luck!

Francine - posted on 01/17/2013

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My question is who's going to pay for these kids' college or univeristy years or are you thinking they can take care of themselves once they're done high school. I think at #6 there should be a bell in your head ringing and saying stop right now.

Did you know sending 1 child to post secondary school can cost up to an average of more than $25000 for a 4 year program and that's just tuition no books of material included? Multiply that by 6???? my math says the answer is $144,000.00. Financially are you ready for this, have you put anything away for a rainy day? What would happen if you or your husband fall ill and it's only 1 income for a while? Will you be able to pay your mortgage, and whatever bills you have that would require 2 incomes coming in and still be able to money aside for your children's education?

Sophie - posted on 01/17/2013

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Brave or silly...I do sometimes wonder!! My partner also works so it is a 2 income family. I did have my first very young so I've never been in a position that my money was all for me....it had to support a lil one. My eldest was also born wen I had started college so good time management was essential but I got there and it was def worth al de hard work!!!

Melissa - posted on 01/17/2013

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If u can afford it that's up 2 u but I think it's 2 many just my opinion I have 2 boy & girl & a very supportive husband but at times it's a bit much being that my kids r 3 and 1 but if u can do it go 4 it

Rhonda - posted on 01/17/2013

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Wow....you are a brave woman! Six kids and considering a seventh! I can barely manage juggling the schedules of my two children and I have an incredibly supportive husband that shares in everything. I am impressed. Quite honestly, I would rather see you write a "how to juggle six kids and support them on one income" book so I could learn a little something from you. I definitely do not possess your time management and budgeting skills and could certainly take a lesson from you! But, if you want to have a seventh baby and you are able to maintain your sanity...I say go crazy!

Sophie - posted on 01/17/2013

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Yes Stacey I can afford to take care of my kids without relying on public assistance. Me and my partner support family without help from the state.

Stacy - posted on 01/17/2013

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Can you afford to take care of the children you have without relying on public assistance? If the answer is no, then it is irresponsible to have another child. Sorry it that sounds harsh.

Annie - posted on 01/17/2013

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I figured it out!! Child support, that would give you a decent amount of extra cash that a 2 income family wouldn't have.

Annie - posted on 01/17/2013

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I'm a nurse manager at a Top 15 hospital in the nation and my husband is an IT engineer. We live a pretty modest (but blessed) life. We want to have a second kid but can't afford to due mostly to daycare costs. So, no, I can't imagine being able to afford 6+ kids based on the information given. Please just make sure you have time for your children. They need all of the love, attention and guidence they can get. Having so many kids really cuts down on that precious bonding/1-1 time.

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